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(Yahoo)   George Washington made 11,000 gallons of whiskey a year   ( divider line
    More: Spiffy  
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1038 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jul 2001 at 1:32 AM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

17 Comments     (+0 »)
2001-07-05 01:52:53 AM  

Yay for drunken rabbles!!! [included a joke that is funny]

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The students laughed. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

"Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognise that this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full."

"The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you."

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

But then...

A student then took the jar which the other students and the professor agreed was full, and proceeded to pour in a glass of beer. Of course the beer filled the remaining spaces within the jar making the jar truly full.

The moral of this tale is:

That no matter how full your life is, there is always room for BEER.
2001-07-05 02:00:44 AM  
uh, that's a little off topic. plus that would be some nasty-ass beer.
2001-07-05 02:08:55 AM  
Its metaphorical dumbass.
2001-07-05 03:02:41 AM  
Is that a metaphorical dumbass, or is an ass that's dumb metaphorical, or is the beer metaphorical for Bass Ale, or is a dumbass a metaphor for a piece of meat, or...Oh Hell! What were you trying to say? Fill your jar with beer first, because the rocks will fit in later?
2001-07-05 04:51:42 AM  
that's funny. you are Boobiesing all the comments thingees, and then calling me a dumbass. i'm not the one advocating wasting perfectly good beer. oh, wait. was it ice beer? just fill the jar with beer, drink it, then put all them rocks and crap in there. or just drink the beer out of the can/bottle.
2001-07-05 05:47:33 AM  
A pholosophy professor stood before his class with a dumbass. Sieve.

The moral of this tale is: Sieve is indeed a dumbass
2001-07-05 05:48:44 AM  
..wish i hadnt mispelled philosophy...Sieve: youre still a dumbass
2001-07-05 07:00:42 AM  
A philosophy professor had a beer, the morale being, have a beer
2001-07-05 07:45:30 AM  
Sieve... thats just dumb. I actually feel dumber for reading that. Way to go.... dumbass!
2001-07-05 09:45:18 AM  
The father of our country. It makes me,,,,sniff,,,,proud. (By the way, why the hostility towards Sieve? I think George would have liked his joke.)

I wonder if drinking beer had any effect on his wooden teeth?
2001-07-05 10:36:56 AM  
I'll now look at a $1 bill with even more reverence.
2001-07-05 10:37:36 AM  
I am currently doing volunteer archaeology at the distillery site, pretty cool stuff actually. They are planning on finishing the excavation in 3 years or so and then reconstructing the facility for production.

He didn't have a thriving dope business, he grew a little for personal use and also grew alot of industrial hemp for use in clothing, paper, rope etc.
His teeth were actually made of ivory and silver.
2001-07-05 12:10:45 PM  
2001-07-05 01:16:13 PM  
Okay so I was younger and George Washington was the Father of Our Country, and he cut down a Cherry Tree and didn't lie about it. Later on in life I found out the Cherry Tree thing much like Easter Bunny, Santa Clause, God Ect..ect.. was false. Then I learned during High School he grew hemp, and of course we all smoked it then, then after high school I find out that he made alcohol, something I take part of now. So is he a hero? A legond? Is he always going to do the cool stuff? When does the changing George Washington stop? If I take up Heroin is he too? If I decide to kill people, did he use to too? Aaaahhhhhhh.
2001-07-05 03:00:43 PM  
George Washington *sniff* made me proud with the Hemp thing and the Cherry tree thing and know this? *sniff* I'm so proud. I just wish I could join him to smoke some of his weed.
2001-07-05 07:20:34 PM  
Ahh the life of a prominent man in Revolutionary times... grow pot, brew whiskey, and bang your slaves.
2001-07-05 09:44:59 PM  
Let's see:
-Pursuit of happiness
Yep, that just about covers it.
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