No, I am an African American bear thank you!

"I heard San Francisco has a lot of bears. Just came to see what the fuss was all about."

"STELLLAAAAAAAAAA!"

"What's that? What am I doing here? See it all started when I stole the Ranger's picnic basket....."

Wait a minute, this is ICE SKATING!

Why a bear gotta sit at the back of the bus?

"I'm on your bus route, readin the comics..."

/got nuthin'

Leave me alone! My morning sucks enough already... I wanted to take the subway, but there was a lion on it. And now I'm on this frickin' bus with you...

Are we at house of Pamela yet, Borat?

What'd you expect? There's no room in Montana anymore with all of those damn Californians up there!!!

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I'm just a brown bear. I fell on some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the honking horns of your traffic make me want to get out of my BMW.. and run off into the hills, or wherever.. Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine, I wonder: "Did little demons get inside and type it?" I don't know! My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts. But there is one thing I do know - when a man like my client slips and falls on a sidewalk in front of a public library, then he is entitled to no less than two million in compensatory damages, and two million in punitive damages. Thank you."

Ladies and Gentleman, the real reason why Stephen Colbert hates the idea of public transportation.

How a grown up Teddy Ruxpin turns out after spending too much time with Danny Bonaduce.

"I'm a bear. ROWR!"

Anyone know the way to Wall Street?

"Hey! I was told there are Twinks on this ride!"

Canadians de-evolve into bears, to no one's surprise.

I wonder how many times he has to refill his coffee mug to get going after coming out of hibernation?

That's #3 on the list of weirdest things seen on a public bus. Next on the list: homeless men wrestling a 15-foot python in a tub of KY.

Notice no one is sitting near him. If you've ever been near a bear fart you'd understand.

This is what Robin Williams' 5 o'clock shadow looks like.

If we had won the superbowl, I could have flown home

Just going to a meeting off Craigslist

Can you tell me where I can find a lion on a train?

I'm a bear reading the newspaper on the bus.

I need to go tell my Lion friend he got a photoshop thread on Fark!

"The Wheels on the bus go Round and Round."

Damnit, rookie mistake.... Now with voting goodness for all for ignore.

"This one sounds promising. SWF who enjoys poridge and nights cuddling infront of the tv seeks bear with a bed that's 'just right'. Contact 'G'.

"What, this isn't the bus to Anthrocon?"

/if you vote for this, you're a furry.

Now you tell me there's no Charmin!

Hey, buddy... Do you know where I can find an all you can eat sushi place open this time of the morning?

now what the fark do YOU want?

My dentist? He's also my cosmetic surgeon! He did my nose!

They say you call this place "Raccoon City?"

"Since you asked... the bear community originated in San Francisco in the 1980s as an outgrowth of the gay biker and then later the leather and "girth and mirth" communities. Bears are usually mature gay or bisexual men with hairy bodies and facial hair; some are heavy-set, but that is not a requirement. Bears often exhibit an outwardly masculine appearance. Some bears place great importance on presenting a hyper-masculine image and shun interaction with men who display effeminate style and mannerisms. Other bears like me just enjoy reading the newspaper."

"I was in da woobs hiding behing a rock or a tree."

Are you looking for a CHALLENGE?!

"Yo, man, why you buggin' me with your problems? Do I LOOK like a care bear?"

Oh my god, bear is riding, how can that be?

SPEED

First Draft: A deranged zookeeper has put a bear on a bus and if it go's below 50 miles an hour it will Maul the riders!



Casting :

John Goodman: BUS
The Bear: Kirstie Alley

Goldilocks? I'll tell you about Goldilocks. That girl is a freak. Talk about inter-species erotica.

"Glare all you want, lady. But we're here. We're feral. Get used to it."

"There's a sale on Honey!"

Anna Nicole, Anna Nicole! Will somebody plant that biatch already!!!