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(Discovery)   Ugly-ass, rare, stinky, weener-lookin' flower getting ready to bloom   ( ) divider line
    More: Cool  
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12558 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Aug 2002 at 10:24 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

58 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-08-07 05:15:19 PM  
For an ugly-ass, rare, stinky, weener-lookin' flower, it seems one of these blooms every couple months. Sheesh, it's already lost it's novelty. Are we gonna have another lunar eclipse anytime soon too?
2002-08-07 06:09:51 PM  
Actually it bloomed last night. One of the local news reporters said the smell wasn't that bad, comparing it to that smell in her refrigerator.
2002-08-07 06:43:56 PM  
Pronunciation Key (flk)

1.Of, relating to, or resembling a phallus.

2.Of or relating to the cult of the phallus as an embodiment of generative power: phallic worship.

3.Of or relating to the third stage of psychosexual development in psychoanalytic theory, from about ages three to six, during which gratification is focused on sensations associated with the genital organs. The phallic stage is preceded by the anal stage and followed by the latency period.
2002-08-07 10:27:42 PM  
Why is this always in the news? It wasn't interesting the first time I saw it on Yahoo News 2 years ago either.
2002-08-07 10:30:06 PM  
must need one big ass bee to pollinate the damn thing
2002-08-07 10:32:25 PM  
How is an ugly-ass, stinky, weener-lookin' flower cool?
2002-08-07 10:33:24 PM  
Where's Georgia O'Keefe when you need her. . .oh wait, she painted the OTHER genitalia (and she's dead)....nevermind.
2002-08-07 10:34:50 PM  
Guess it is pretty dildo-like!
2002-08-07 10:35:08 PM  
Shouldn't this have gotten the [image from too old to be available] tag?
2002-08-07 10:37:38 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

At least these flowers have protection.
2002-08-07 10:39:10 PM  
Amorphophallus Titanum - I do believe I have a new porn name.
2002-08-07 10:39:35 PM  
It's smells like rotting flesh and excrement. Pretty much like every frat house in North America.
2002-08-07 10:40:33 PM  
So the flower looks at weeners, or what?
2002-08-07 10:40:36 PM  
"The giant stink of the flower, matched only by its size, is strongest at night..."

The giant stupidity of this sentence, matched only by its worthlessness, is funny on fark.

(Damnit, Dandamanfl, you beat me to the dildo-like comment!)
2002-08-07 10:42:58 PM  
I thought it said Amorphophallus Titanium, and thought it was a new iMac.
2002-08-07 10:43:55 PM  
Isnt the largest flower in the World the Rafflesia ?
2002-08-07 10:46:48 PM  
"I coulda sworn it hadn't been there before. But, the old Chinese man sold it to me anyways, for a dollar ninety-five."
2002-08-07 10:46:56 PM  
Wow. Nice wang. Mesa be wanting one of those 4 foot woodies.
2002-08-07 10:48:13 PM  
Ugly-ass,rare,stinky -- I thought this was another Anna Nicole Smith thread.
2002-08-07 10:52:18 PM  
I remember one of these blooming a few years ago too - didn't notice it's deceptively dildolike qualities at that time though
2002-08-07 10:55:56 PM  
Reno77-Yes, this is an inflorescense. There was a better article on this on the BBC, including why this plant cannot, rightly, self-pollinate. Different maturation times between pollen and stigma preclude this in nature, so to get seeds, as I guess pollen wouldn't be viable frozen and sent to other gardens, they have to rapidly mature the polle so it will be ready when the female parts are fertile.
2002-08-07 11:02:05 PM  
We just had one of these plants bloom at the University of Wisconsin. I went and saw it.
2002-08-07 11:07:27 PM  
If this flower:

Looks like a penis

Smells like poopies

Blooms once every GOD knows when

Lives in the RAINFOREST

I am surprised we havent killed this flower off the face of the planet yet. Oh well, like all rainforest things, it will die off due to man eventually.
2002-08-07 11:13:48 PM  
Anyone ever smelled a chocolate lilly? When i was in Alaska, we came upon a whole hillside full. They are maroon/brown and may not be lillies for all I know. Anyway - they smelled like shiat so bad, we had to get out of there.
2002-08-07 11:16:34 PM  
"Amorphophallus titanum is also called the Corpse Flower for its fragrance, sometimes described as a mix of rotting flesh and excrement. "

Only in America would this draw a big crowd.
2002-08-07 11:23:31 PM  
When it starts walking around and whipping people then we're all in deep shiat.
2002-08-07 11:30:23 PM  
2002-08-07 11:31:11 PM  
A giant phal'lic symbol that smells like smegma, and every couple of months it wants to expose its self to the public.... sounds like my grandpa.
2002-08-07 11:35:21 PM  
Didn't I see this on a Dennis the Menace episode?
The thing looks like what the guidos have hanging from their rear view mirrors,,umm, yeah thats it the italian horn, or "Guinea Dog Dick' I knew I saw it before.

Get this, it's self-pollinating, has both male and female tendrils,,,,the FARKIN THING IS AC/DC!!!!
2002-08-07 11:42:01 PM  
Wow...a giant penis flower that smells like rotting flesh and shiat...sounds like a real crowd pleaser.

I say send it to Saddam as an early Christmas present! HaHa
2002-08-07 11:43:48 PM  
mmmm .... konyakku

Sounds like a Tick episode. Keep an eye on El Seed.
2002-08-07 11:45:52 PM  
Oh man, I wait every 3 years to laugh at this story. :)
2002-08-07 11:47:36 PM  

I totally agree...Anna Nicole, Stinky, Nasty, Ugly and rare.
2002-08-07 11:48:29 PM  
yet another reason to blow up the rainforest.
2002-08-07 11:55:22 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Beware Mantorok, the Corpse God Flower...
2002-08-07 11:55:58 PM  
Crap, the strikethrough and the image both failed... ah well
2002-08-08 12:13:54 AM  
"Unfortunately there was an aspect of the self-propelled plant discovery which the news-reel people had either not experienced, or chosen for some reason of their own not to reveal. There was no warning either. I was bending down intent on clearing the earth without harming the plant, when something out of nowhere hit me one terrific slam, and knocked me out ...."

"They quickly become a scourge in the tropics. The traveller very easily failed to notice one among the normal bushes and undergrowth, and the moment he was in range the venomous sting would slash out. They were uncannily sensitive to any movement near them, and it was hard to take them unawares."
2002-08-08 12:23:03 AM  
Amorphophallus titanum


"Giant misshapen penis"

OK, Amorpho doesn't mean misshapen, but it's funnier that way.
2002-08-08 12:24:35 AM  

Are you quoting from the book or the movie?

"Look! A plant that can put itself in the cookpot. Hey, momma! What do you think of that?"

Yes, that is a real quote.
2002-08-08 12:28:08 AM  
Mzdizzi: that's about the funniest thing I've read all day.
2002-08-08 12:31:12 AM  
what movie/book?
2002-08-08 12:33:32 AM  
"And now folks, get a load of what our cameraman found in Ecuador. Vegetables on vacation! You've only seen this kind of thing after a party, but down in sunny Ecuador they see it any time - and no hangover to follow! Monster plants on the march! Say, that's given me a big idea! Maybe if we can educate our potatoes right we can fix it so they'll walk right into the pot. How'd that be Momma?"

[image from too old to be available]

Yes, the Day of Triffids - OK, not particularly high-brow but definately one of my all time favourite books. You can't beat a global apocalypse for entertainment value.
2002-08-08 12:36:25 AM  
That's not a Triffid. Where are the three sticks rising parallel to the neck?

Apart from that, it looks good. Where'd you find that picture.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to depth-charge the monsters in the Deeps, torch some golden-haired freak children and develop my mentalic powers.
2002-08-08 12:42:04 AM  
Bondith: Its a BBC Triffid that appeared in the TV adaptation from 1981.

BBC's The Day of the Triffids
2002-08-08 12:44:45 AM  
The article says that thing can self-pollinate. Uh-oh...

Every time a flower self-pollinates, God kills a chrysanthemum!
2002-08-08 01:07:24 AM  
08-07-02 11:16:34 PM Ringosoft
"Amorphophallus titanum is also called the Corpse Flower for its fragrance, sometimes described as a mix of rotting flesh and excrement. "

Only in America would this draw a big crowd.

No, it would draw a crowd in Japan also.
2002-08-08 01:47:05 AM  
BAKup: But in Japan, the flower would also have tentacles. (Those wacky Japanese...)
2002-08-08 02:26:24 AM  
Timothy: Tentacles? Hell, in Japan it would have tentacles, be self mobile, and hunt down school girls to ravage like some sex-starved Seymour that craves only hymenal blood.

The stench of feces would just be an added attraction to the ecchi crowd, make the facial expressions more interesting as they are violated both genitally and olfactorily.
2002-08-08 03:32:51 AM  
Ishidan: Audrey Two, not Seymour. But close enough. :)
2002-08-08 04:21:58 AM  
*wonks his head* thanks Ivo. I knew I'd been having too good a run of correcting others this week, and was due for a screwup of my own. Seymour's the poor sonofabiatch that Audrey makes feed him...I knew the alliteration was too good to be true.
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