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(really clueless job ad)   Customer is looking for someone to code out a complete operating system that is completely functional, has all of the features of Windows XP, is unhackable and compatible with all existing files. Budget: $1000 - $3000   (getacoder.com) divider line 296
    More: Amusing  
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32421 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Mar 2007 at 9:12 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-03-01 10:15:10 PM
Farker looking for someone to submit a link that isn't from 2001.

And for that extra "dick" flavor, I present:

i17.photobucket.com
 
2007-03-01 10:15:10 PM
VI rocks- if you're editing UNIX config files. Otherwise... use an IDE. I don't care which IDE- they're all the frickin' same. Only pussies write their own code, and real men write (or use) tools to autogenerate it.

Seriously, what programmer in their right mind things writing code is a good thing? The whole point of writing a program is to not do work! Amateurs.

//.NET, Perl, PHP, Ruby, Objective C, C++, Java, a dab of Cobol for flavor.
//Get off my lawn.
 
2007-03-01 10:16:50 PM
Behind the door is a hungry, long abused Siberian tiger. On your desks are the seperate parts that make up a m16 assault rifle. You have ten minutes to assemble it before the door opens. Begin!
 
2007-03-01 10:17:08 PM
#include

void main(void)
{
os = true
security = 1
}

Can I have my money now?
 
2007-03-01 10:17:11 PM
maddogdelta

What browser are you using? I'm getting an error about the MAC viewstate on Opera but it's working fine in IE.

*sigh* I love .NET, but I really wish MS would make it work right on all browsers...
 
2007-03-01 10:17:45 PM
eclipse user in da house!!!! Take that biatches.

/haha my IDE is better than your IDE.
//that would be geekier than a mac vs windows vs linux flamewar
 
2007-03-01 10:18:07 PM
what no one codes in assembly anymore? I will do it all in BINARY! My 1's and 0's will pwn joo all!!!

*sings* shove it in EAX shove it out that is what coding is all about!!

/oh he wants it in C/C++ Never Mind.......
 
2007-03-01 10:18:07 PM
So much geek hate and snobbery in this thread.

/Perl is an abomination
 
2007-03-01 10:18:23 PM
Brick Top
I still prefer them to "IT guys" who think they're "engineers."

You mean those people who scream like little girls the second they can't click on a menu to do something?

I like them. they're funny. I do their job in my spare time. (usually by setting up a *nix box that doesn't need the care & feeding their machines need, or a Win2xxx box with some more knowledge of how to set it up...)
 
2007-03-01 10:18:48 PM
Meh, I have a machine where I run windows xp running VMware on VMware running linux.
 
2007-03-01 10:20:12 PM
k47.pbase.com
 
2007-03-01 10:20:49 PM
The Voice of Doom: Those Indians really must be l33t coders, writing an OS in ASP/Javscript/Flash. :)

Somebody sent me a joke link one time to an article about an OS coded completely in JavaScript. It ran in your browser. Of course, that totally pissed off the Lynx nazis because they couldn't run it.

Come to think of it, it was prolly some smartass on /. that did it...
 
2007-03-01 10:21:20 PM
Telos
Firefox. That was the error, but I chalk it up to a server config. Those errors don't come from the browser

// wish they did, then i could blame the customers every time my stuff crashes..
 
2007-03-01 10:22:56 PM
zn0k

...if you invest some time reading the man page


Ok, that's just ig-nernt. There's a hell of a lot to vi that's not in the man pages, and it's a lot better than most of the "modern" editors out there. No, using it isn't proof of good code. It's simply proof of impeccable taste in editors.

/ZZ
 
2007-03-01 10:23:36 PM
I'd bid but, shiat, I'm still working on the FizzBuzz problem.
 
2007-03-01 10:23:51 PM
DRTF ad, but I suspect this was placed by a company looking for an Indian coder willing to do something for nothing--and return pie in the sky.

Why would you want to copy XP anyway? It's a bit of a Hindenburgh of an OS.
 
2007-03-01 10:25:04 PM
hts666

eclipse user in da house!!!! Take that biatches.

ditto. and every day i curse the gods so i could use vs.net instead :( :(

/and the java gods said on day one, give us our day our daily memory cpu freeze
 
2007-03-01 10:25:17 PM
maddogdelta

Oh I know it's a server error, it's just that it's probably not a _coding_ error because it works on IE. *sigh*
 
2007-03-01 10:26:09 PM
And while you're at it, make sure it is written entirely in assembly language.
 
2007-03-01 10:27:08 PM
Why do I always dread having to maintain the code of those people who use Perl and/or Vi , as though I'm taking a walk in some code ghetto at night?

/rhetorical question...
//loves me a nice IDE with refactoring, dependency analysis and on-the-fly error detection...
 
2007-03-01 10:27:28 PM
NakedDrummer
- or perhaps enjoys being 1/100th as productive as a coder who uses modern IDEs which can aide in refactoring and compilation errors on the fly.....

Given the Brooksian model of 10-15 lines of code per day for a productive engineer, I would like to meet one of these IDE using engineers that produce 1000 to 1500 lines of designed, documented, tested code per day.

/uses an IDE
//Even one with refactoring
///Knows Brooks was on the mark
 
2007-03-01 10:27:35 PM
I have begun my program, if anyone wants to join in with me to get the 3000$ with me, you can help. Here is what I have so far.

10 for a=10 to 1 step -1
20 print "loading in " a
30 next a
40 cls
50 print "press enter to continue"
60 input x
70 cls
60 print "Blue Orb Now Loaded"

thats what I have so far. 60/40 split for anyone who wants in on this.

(I know qbasic too, if that is more your style)
 
2007-03-01 10:27:58 PM
img177.imageshack.us

/done and done
//will take paypal
 
2007-03-01 10:29:05 PM
There is not now, nor will there ever be, an unhackable OS. Also, for that budget, you couldn't get a professional web developer to make you a website.
 
2007-03-01 10:30:53 PM
Oh, and we really need to get some "woman pages" going somehow...


VI(1)

DESCRIPTION
Well, if you don't know what it is or how to use it,
I'm certainly not going to tell you! Why don't you
try thinking about something besides your own needs?



Or maybe it gives you completely different information every time you check the page, or once a month it crashes your workstation when you query it. Don't try troubleshooting the crash... that'll just get you in more trouble.
 
2007-03-01 10:31:48 PM
Gates bought Paterson's program, called QDOS, for $50,000, renamed it DOS, improved it, and licensed it to IBM for a low per-copy royalty fee. Google is your friend people.
 
2007-03-01 10:31:52 PM
claudia934: I've been a perl coder for almost ten years now.

Ah, Perl.
Swiss Army Chainsaw.

/ I miss working with Unix
 
2007-03-01 10:32:07 PM
Hughlander

Given the Brooksian model of 10-15 lines of code per day for a productive engineer, I would like to meet one of these IDE using engineers that produce 1000 to 1500 lines of designed, documented, tested code per day.

huh? what year was lines of code based on productivity of a programmer? with modern OOP languages that's a mute stat compared with scalable design patterns which modern IDEs really help in terms of refactoring code to meet the needs of agile methodologies.
 
2007-03-01 10:32:12 PM
macdaddy357: There is not now, nor will there ever be, an unhackable OS. Also, for that budget, you couldn't get a professional web developer to make you a website.

Heck, even the trusted OS's like STOP probably have some vulnerabilities. What you do get is a level of trust meaning how sure I am that the OS will not eat my data.
 
2007-03-01 10:33:12 PM
Vosh

Behind the door is a hungry, long abused Siberian tiger. On your desks are the seperate parts that make up a m16 assault rifle. You have ten minutes to assemble it before the door opens. Begin!

Feh. I used to do it in well under three.

Say, I bought stock in BlueOrb. They assure me that they're making a "major announcement" any day now. This is gonna be great!
 
2007-03-01 10:33:40 PM
a248.e.akamai.net
 
2007-03-01 10:33:51 PM
I got you all beat. I program native machine instructions using punch cards that I send off to the company mainframe, which outputs a tape rolls encoded in binary braille 3 days later.

... one of these years it will be able to print off "Hello World"

/at least in its binary equivalent
 
2007-03-01 10:34:04 PM
claudia934: I'm one of those. I type insanely fast and I know vi inside and out. It works for me :)

Not to mention that it is available on every commonly used OS, preinstalled on all the best OSs. ;-)

Really important for us SysAdmin types who don't want to relearn the editor for every machine they admin.

/Hmmm, reminds me of editor on DrDOS. When you hit Esc it put the Esc charater into the file. Awesome for writing custom PCL5 files.
 
2007-03-01 10:37:06 PM
I'm sure I could write him this OS in 3 or 4 days, tops. All you have to remember is that derivative dy = 3 r squared dr over 3, or r squared dr, or r dr r.

homepage.smc.edu

r dr r

/took a C++ class once
//failed
 
2007-03-01 10:42:59 PM
Vi? Emacs? Ed? F that.

Perl? C? Hippies.

I write machine code with 'cat'.
 
2007-03-01 10:43:05 PM
Where requirements hell meets comedy gold!!!

I need someone to program me a new OS (Operasting System) that looks different than Ms Windows XP etc. but has the same style.

Is this really Bill Gates parodying his apple rip off?

It does not need to run on a mac but all the other PCs.

"It does not need to run on Intels, but all other Intels." Ooookey-dokey.

ALL the files that run on Windows XP ust also run on the BlueOrb OS.

Define "file"; now define "run."

It must be quick and good looking.

That's only legal in Nevada, my friend.
 
2007-03-01 10:43:07 PM
goeniegoegoe: Or somebody who knows his stuff. And not parading with some retarded aged tools, thinking it makes them look cool.

JTorres176: Most C/C++, perl, and python coders I know use vim and joe. If you have that much trouble learning the language, pick something easier.

claudia934: anyone that bitter must be an emacs user.

To settle the vi argument once and for all, or at least quell the emotions a bit:

VI is, at the very least, installed on almost every *nix system out there. Knowing vi means you have the ability to work on most machines regardless of the installation.

Just like "edit" or "edlin" in the old DOS days, it's a basic text editor, albeit powerful enough if you can use it well. However, just like edit wasn't MS word, vi isn't necessarily the *best* editor out there. It's fine for what it is.

I've never understood the pissing matches people have over vi. Even my Solaris buddies don't write their project plans in vi, and they don't think it's any big deal. They also don't pretend that vi is the be-all end-all of tools. They do reserve the right to look down in contempt at people who don't know it.
 
2007-03-01 10:43:53 PM
NakedDrummer: huh? what year was lines of code based on productivity of a programmer? with modern OOP languages that's a mute stat compared with scalable design patterns which modern IDEs really help in terms of refactoring code to meet the needs of agile methodologies.

well duh...
 
2007-03-01 10:44:36 PM
On a more serious note. there is "technically" a project like this, ReactOS(p) I've used it, and yeah it's for a pretty hardcore nerd.. but it does what they say it does.

OPEN SOURCE WINDOWS WTF?
 
2007-03-01 10:45:35 PM
There was this one time....I pressed Enter. And some things happened.
 
2007-03-01 10:45:56 PM
And ITS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE JUST A REDESIGNED WINDOWS as I'm going to sell that operating system later on. It's going to be called BlueOrb.

So, he wants someone to make an OS for 3,000$, which he plans to sell later. This man is a brilliant businessman.

//Operasting System?
 
2007-03-01 10:46:14 PM
Farked.
 
2007-03-01 10:47:07 PM
perl is an excellent language. it's just too bad it tends to be the language of choice for 3rd class programmers.
 
2007-03-01 10:47:37 PM
But wait, it finally loaded.
 
2007-03-01 10:48:00 PM
advice:

in deciding how to program this OS, blue Orb, I need some advice, should I go with "screen 12" for the higher resolution, or should I go with "screen 13" for the higher number of colors?
 
2007-03-01 10:48:40 PM
kb7rky
I one up you. They want the look of Windows XP.

img131.imageshack.us

Wants my $3k Beeeatch.
 
2007-03-01 10:48:54 PM
Couldn't you just have a random character string generator output to perl and just keep repeating that until it produced a viable OS?

It'd be the first Darwinian OS ever written.
 
2007-03-01 10:49:04 PM
the only editor i don't like is emacs, simply because i find the buffer concept completely annoying. it's a personal preference. no one choice is better than the other.
 
2007-03-01 10:51:00 PM
You're all such nerds.
 
2007-03-01 10:52:42 PM
www.ubuntu.com Now gimmie' my three grand!
 
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