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(Stuck in Lodi)   Best opening sentence in article ever: "A jazz musician was injured Friday after jumping from a burning motor home driven by a one-time roller-skating stripper from Lodi"   ( lodinews.com) divider line
    More: Amusing  
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9123 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Feb 2007 at 6:26 PM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



69 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2007-02-28 02:05:11 PM  
holy crap
 
2007-02-28 02:06:53 PM  
Sounds like a Tom Wait's lyric.
 
2007-02-28 02:07:07 PM  
Sounds more like a Blues man to me.
 
2007-02-28 02:07:17 PM  
Well then. What more can you say?
 
2007-02-28 02:10:41 PM  
Ta-daaaaaaaa!
 
2007-02-28 02:16:54 PM  
There was no sign of alcohol involvement, Iniguez said, and the Coors Light beer can on the motorhome's dashboard appeared to be a decoration.

That is one freaking brilliant excuse.
 
2007-02-28 02:17:27 PM  
I'm sure the jazz musician was just making all this up as he went along.

+1
 
2007-02-28 02:26:56 PM  
The Aristocrats!
 
2007-02-28 02:27:19 PM  
It sounds like the plot summary from some indie film.
 
2007-02-28 02:36:26 PM  
I guess sometimes things do happen everywhere, even in Lodi.
 
2007-02-28 02:57:16 PM  
Best article opening sentence ever: "A jazz musician was injured Friday after jumping from a burning motor home driven by a one-legged roller skating stripper from Lodi."

I just needed to fix that. Now, it's the best article opening sentence ever.
 
2007-02-28 03:11:06 PM  
This thread is worthless without pictures.
 
2007-02-28 03:17:24 PM  
Man, any sentence with 'Lodi' in it gets me laughing.
 
2007-02-28 03:33:09 PM  
Well, since my camper burned me,
I've found a new place to dwell.
It's down at the end of Lodi town,
Called "Dumbass Hotel."

/not mine, but still funny
 
2007-02-28 03:38:11 PM  
maitri: This thread is worthless without pictures.

FTFA - Luccketta, who is still known for his roller skating stripper gig...

/I'll pass on the pics.
 
2007-02-28 03:49:01 PM  
That isn't Jazz, that's Country Music!
 
2007-02-28 03:58:55 PM  
I'd like to thank Subby for warning me about the awesomeness beforehand so I made sure to put down my coffee and swallow before reading the rest.
 
2007-02-28 04:07:31 PM  
This is our punishment for disturbing Jesus's bones

//Plug:
And if you like this, you'll love Small Town Misfit
 
2007-02-28 04:10:09 PM  
Luccketta, who is still known for his roller skating stripper gig but now focuses on playing music, was not injured.

img442.imageshack.us
 
2007-02-28 05:25:31 PM  
There's a song to come out of that article. Somewhere. Sometime.
 
2007-02-28 05:31:33 PM  
The hell?
 
2007-02-28 05:38:23 PM  
It's funnier if you imagine Walter Cronkite saying it...
 
2007-02-28 06:31:11 PM  
Awesome. Just plain awesome.
 
2007-02-28 06:33:39 PM  
Man, John Fogarty has really hit rock bottom there.
 
2007-02-28 06:34:10 PM  
Thread useful now.

frontier.cincinnati.com
 
2007-02-28 06:34:25 PM  
img207.imageshack.us
Wanted for questioning
 
2007-02-28 06:35:05 PM  
I'm a Jazz guitarist and this sort of thing is not uncommon.
 
2007-02-28 06:35:54 PM  
Best opening sentence ever: Both Salma Hayak and Penelope Cruz have agreed today to take part in a "Naked Hottie Sandwich" with internet celebrity and all-around cool guy, MortuusLupus.

I've got my fingers crossed for the day that article is written.
 
2007-02-28 06:37:01 PM  
"The magician's underwear has just been found in a cardboard suitcase floating in a stagnant pond on the outskirts of Miami. However significant that discovery may be -- and there is the possibility that it could alter the destiny of each and every one of us -- it is not the incident with which to begin this report."

First sentence of Another Roadside Attraction. First thing that I thought of. Not sure why, though.
 
2007-02-28 06:37:33 PM  
WTF?
 
2007-02-28 06:37:44 PM  
Except that it's two sentences.
 
2007-02-28 06:37:50 PM  
FTFA:

The motor home had also been noticed by Angie Coberly, who lives in a cream-colored housejust south of the overpass. Her attached garage was demolished last August when a man lost control of the big rig he was driving, veered off the freeway, hit a power pole and landed in her garage.


Edited to remove the useless bits
 
2007-02-28 06:39:01 PM  
excellent!

/i met a german girl from england who was goin' to school in france...
 
2007-02-28 06:40:48 PM  
von fapowitz

I'm a Jazz guitarist and this sort of thing is not uncommon.

I grew up just outside Lodi, in Modesto where his girlfriend lives. It's not just the Jazz, it's the area in general. Jazz has to play a role though.

/Do not want
//to go back
 
2007-02-28 06:41:44 PM  
repeat story
 
2007-02-28 06:42:23 PM  
"Luccketta, who is still known for his roller skating stripper gig."

She's a man, baby.
 
2007-02-28 06:46:25 PM  
Oh, Lord, stuck in Lodi again
 
2007-02-28 06:47:34 PM  
NEED PICS
 
2007-02-28 06:55:25 PM  
Brilliant!
 
2007-02-28 06:56:35 PM  
When a headline or lead is that good (or bizarre), I'm hesitant to read the rest of the article because it's probably downhill (or mundane) from there.
 
2007-02-28 07:02:39 PM  
oldfarthenry

It sounds like the plot summary from some indie film.

Or one helluva porno.
 
2007-02-28 07:04:51 PM  
Sounds like a Tom Robbins novel to me, actually.
 
2007-02-28 07:13:29 PM  
The author must have received an A++ in the "writing in pyramid style" section of his journalism class.

My Journalism 101 prof used to say "If they need to read the rest of the article, you failed to write a good opening sentence."
 
2007-02-28 07:14:32 PM  
I worked with Tony Luccketta for about 9 months, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

/born just south of Lodi, in Stockton.
 
2007-02-28 07:18:13 PM  
It was a dark and stormy night....
 
2007-02-28 07:22:31 PM  
www.joebly.com
My contribution to this thread. A sexy girl on roller skates.
 
2007-02-28 07:33:02 PM  
Is it my imagination, Cheeses H Rice, or is the boy in the #32 jersey to her left becoming a man as we speak?

He seems pretty fixated on then thar THO's!
 
2007-02-28 07:42:22 PM  
jake_lex

Sounds like a Tom Robbins novel to me, actually.

Good call. It does have that kind of feel.
 
2007-02-28 07:46:51 PM  
Cheeses H Rice : no, its Micheal Jackson with fake boobies and his adams apple removed
 
2007-02-28 07:49:19 PM  
My parents had friends that ran a restaurant in Lodi that we used to visit every summer...from VANCOUVER!

Now that I'm older, I still don't know the difference between a raisin farm and a dried up vineyard. Can somebody please tell me?
 
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