Um...............What?

Forcibly? yeah, right

That is some farked up shiat

Man-rape??

Stole it?

Why didn't he just ask nicely?

Forced him to ejaculate? WTF?

yup. that's weird.

this is not right.

on the other hand, i got 50$ a shot for 'donating' sperm to a sperm clinic.....
those were GOOD times.....

Some people pay big money for this sort of kinky going ons.

What a whack job.

what. the. .......

first he wanted the guy to have sex with his wife, then when he wouldn't do it, forced the guy to jerk off. sounds like he and his wife wanted a baby but the husband was shooting blanks, and found some random guy who maybe looked like the husband to be the donor. they probably thought it was cheaper than a sperm bank.

If they catch the guy, he might get all the semen he needs in jail.

What the hell are you people talking about, this article just talks about Tony Blair and money and humanitarian aide Blah blah blah blah......There is nothing here about semen.

So.. I guess that means he got the job?

Yeah ok. The cops who took this statement is probably related to that asshat who actually believes his message in a bottle floated 5,000 miles back to his own house.

Police have failed to find the suspect so far, but hope they will catch him at home on Tuesday.

I guess if he's reading this he'll know not to be at home on tuesday...

The perp obviously thought the guy was a "HAND job seeker".

See yet another job that would be perfect for the homeless.

http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?click_id=79&art_id=ct20020806102039303L300861&s et_id=1
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AHHHH!!!!! What the fark is wrong with my Fark, this is the article that I got!!!!! What are you people talkin about?!?!?!?!?

""The attacker then partially stripped the frightened man and forcibly caused him to ejaculate"


It's official. I've heard it all. The world can now end. Not with a bang, but a spurt.

Ugh.

Iworkformsn: funny.

seriously tho, what the hell is wrong with people?

Hey... has anyone John Rocker lately?

If I had a dollar for every time that's happened to me! Sheesh!

DariusMDeV:- there was a screwed up link (I got it too, and moaned about it in the comments). The mods have sorted it, and deleted my moan.

This confuses the hell out of me. Maybe this guy "forcibly" got the semen in the same manner that caviar is obtained?

HootyMagoo
Hey... has anyone John Rocker lately?

Also, did anybody a missing verb?

Holy busted condom Batman!

DO YOU LIKE WORKING WITH YOUR HANDS?
Now Hiring men who seek hands on training in the exciting field of 'wacky sperm jar stuff'

oh yeah, you can do my wife.

I'm sorry but if the guy was that unwilling exactly how did he get it up so that the guy could "force" him to ejaculate? I'm surprised he didn't claim they gave him some food spiked with viagra and then forced out some semen

Cheaper than milk and doesn't make your cornflakes go soggy so fast.

Suitable for lactose-free diets too.

In tomorrow's news: jobless man wanted for rape and murder in a house he claims to have been assaulted at.

Rosalea-

Men aren't like you emotionally attached women-folk. It's like plubming. You turn the knobs right, stuff comes out.

What is wrong with Africa? Or maybe I should ask what isn't wrong with Africa?

I'm sorry but if the guy was that unwilling exactly how did he get it up so that the guy could "force" him to ejaculate?

BJ?

For some perverse reason, this article makes me think of:

The Hamburglar

The fact that this is a hamburglar cookie jar is even more perverse. or something.

The Hamburglar

Spermburgular photoshop anyone?

I think this dude is pressing criminal charges only to hide the fact that he enjoyed the guy jerking him off.

Of course, that's just my opinion :)

if he took the guy into his house first then why is it so hard to catch the spermburglar?

I'm picturing that scene in National Lamphoon's Road Trip where the nurse made Stiffler ( yeah, I know. Shut up. ) ejaculate by anal intrustion :-p

I bet the guy agreed to it until he found out the wife was a fat chick.

DigitalChris, I was just composing a similar reply to Rosalea but scrapped it when I couldn't come up with as eliquent a response as yours!

Roselea, according to a lot of stories written by women on the internet, it's not that uncommon for a person to orgasm forceably. Not that I know anything about it, -I'm just sayin'.

all your sperm belong to us

So this guy's unemployed and has nothing to do all day. When someone invites him to bang his wife the guy turns him down. Exactly how big a moose was this woman?

I know you can get semen without an orgasm. It's usually referred to as milking in BDSM circles. It involves massaging the prostate through the anus. It would probably work even if the donor was unwilling. Although I doubt that's what happened here.

"Thanks for replying to my help wanted ad....robble robble robble...now drop your pants biatch....robble robble robble...."