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(Yahoo)   Egyptian authorities seize 7000 dried lizards that were intended for aphrodesiacs. In related news, 7000 Egyptian authorities sportin' wood.   (story.news.yahoo.com) divider line 38
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1276 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Aug 2002 at 4:39 AM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



38 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2002-08-03 11:31:20 PM
Sounds to me like he was going to use them possibly for biological warfare.
 
2002-08-04 02:41:15 AM
DRIED lizards? Some things just don't need commenting...
 
2002-08-04 04:41:13 AM
In Pharonic Egypt, dried Lizards seize your wood.
 
2002-08-04 04:41:37 AM
huh?
 
2002-08-04 04:43:44 AM
I don't suppose those lizards are dildo-shaped?
 
GXL
2002-08-04 04:44:18 AM
...or 3500 Egyptian authorities sportin' double-sized woodies
 
2002-08-04 04:44:30 AM
No, but they are dildo-like
 
2002-08-04 04:46:27 AM
are vibrators a subclass of dildo..or different all together? Any farkettes care to chime in..or maybe some pervy farkers?
 
2002-08-04 04:56:12 AM
hmmm, dictionary.com said something that caused sexual desire, maybe an oinment or one of those things that rarouse ladies
 
2002-08-04 04:56:57 AM
Dried lizard sounds like something you could smoke. Slayer?

Can you use a food dehydrator to make your own dried lizard? Lizard jerky?

Either way... tastes like chicken.
 
2002-08-04 04:56:57 AM
Tarvuz: yes, I suppose technically they are. they come in lots and lots of yummy models. any other questions?*L*

Yes, I do believe the way to get your game on with your woman is to give her a withered lizard dripping with honey. Maybe if you're lucky she'll compare your maggot to it favourably.

Ahhh, men of the world that was mean...sorry.
 
2002-08-04 04:57:48 AM

SHADDAP!


SLSW

 
2002-08-04 05:02:23 AM
Minxy...hey I was thinking about visiting your location...

and by the way..some of us do not have maggots..more like ummm really big and juicy grubs...that do not need lizards or Soviet Russian D cell battery operated Egyptian Vibrators... top or bottom?
 
2002-08-04 05:05:42 AM
In soviet Russia, wood sports you!
On a related note (so this assinine cliche coment of mine is not totally off base) Lizards are totally creepy, and I do not like the smell, touch, or taste of them..Plus any girl that will eat a lizard will probably suck your dick anyway.
 
2002-08-04 05:09:42 AM
"are vibrators a subclass of dildo"

My answer to this(as a man) is possibly. A dildo is a inert penis shaped object inserted into the vagina to cause man-style pleasures. A vibrator is a penis shaped man-pleasure device that vibrates(hence the name vibrator). I am bnot sure at all if that would make them a subclass, but I would say that a vibrator is definetelly(sp? I'm drunk?) a subclass of dildo.
 
2002-08-04 05:09:55 AM
Genuine exchange between me and a female cast member from Rocky Horror (guess which one is me)
"You know what's great? Oral sex with a vibrator."
"Wouldn't that chip your teeth?"
 
2002-08-04 05:10:32 AM
Minxy...hey I was thinking about visiting your location...

You were, were you? Well, I suppose there's room for someone else, although it might be a little cramped. It's pretty full already.

... top or bottom?

Yes.
 
2002-08-04 05:15:02 AM
Ohhhh Minxy...you know how to make a guy feel swell...and good eye for subtle things...

ohhh man...
 
2002-08-04 05:18:43 AM
I like it when I can make a guy feel swell. I just want to spread the joy and happiness all around. *L*

Yes, I like those subtle things too......and that would be oh woman, thank you very much. We had this debate last night on another thread and photographic evidence was absolutely required.
 
2002-08-04 05:19:30 AM
She has no nose or wrinkles. Amazing what over-exposure can do to make you look young <g>
 
2002-08-04 05:22:22 AM
Tarvuz, I bet you don't need lizards, do you? Bondith, on the other hand....
 
2002-08-04 05:25:15 AM
What I need is a woman. Insulting them is not the way to obtain one.
 
2002-08-04 05:39:35 AM
I happen to know there were only 6900 dried lizards, the rest were dried squid... I hate it when they exaggerate the news.

(okay that was lame, but I'll do anyting to avoid work)
 
2002-08-04 05:43:34 AM
It's quarter to three in the morning. Where are you working?

(I'm assuming you're still in LA like it says in your profile.)
 
2002-08-04 05:54:29 AM
Bondith: Yes, LA.

Software consultant working on the program that will never be done...
 
2002-08-04 06:05:39 AM
Of course it won't be done if you spend all your time on Fark :P
 
2002-08-04 06:15:13 AM
Working this late on a Saturday night? Awwww, that just sucks. You poor thing. No one should work on a Saturday night, unless it's something much more fun than software programming. It could even involve some of those purloined lizards.
 
2002-08-04 06:25:28 AM
Minxy, that isn't work, it's pleasure.

Unless you're Heidi Fleiss.
 
2002-08-04 06:25:46 AM
Minxy & Bondith: Yes life sucks... But it beats smuggling dried lizards for a living. (Although I hear lizard smugglers have excellent medical and retirement benefits.)

Oh well... I should just go to bed a try again tomorrow.
 
2002-08-04 06:44:12 AM
Minxy

Holy crap!! You have a nose right??

I mean, I love your hair in the profile pic (bob cut rocks)

But..do you have a nose?

Or do I need to reconfigure the color settings on my computer?

Oh please tell me you aren't the noseless one foretold in the prophecies.
 
2002-08-04 07:04:51 AM
How does an Egyptian pitch his tent?

With a dried lizard dipped in honey.
 
2002-08-04 07:11:46 AM
Come on, give me a kiss!
 
2002-08-04 07:16:20 AM
Umm...have you had all your shots?
 
2002-08-04 08:30:36 AM
What is up with those Asians and Africans? Why are they so obsessed with eating endangered species penis to enhance their fertility? Its all a placebo.

Anyways, viagra probably tastes better than tiger penis anywho.
 
2002-08-04 08:37:45 AM
SweaterGirl honest, I do have a nose. It's sort of small and up-tilted, and I can shoot mean quarters off it and never miss the glass. I really do have one, it's just that drunk people can't take very good photos.

I went ahead and posted it in honour of their house-destroying 3-day party in my apartment. It was the only picture from 2 rolls of film that was even remotely publishable. What can I say? Those asshats trashed my place, broke my camera, drank my booze and used all my film. I even remember them taking the picture...sort of.
 
FBR
2002-08-04 09:10:17 AM
Now THAT sounds like a good party!
 
2002-08-04 10:00:47 AM
That headline is misleading. Everybody knows it takes more than one lizard to achieve full wood. At most, there were only 3,500 Egyptian officials standing at attention.
 
2002-08-04 05:30:46 PM
Minxy What about the pictures that were unpublishable? ICQ...
 
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