I lol'd

A Chinese man has been sentenced to death for conning people out of 3 billion yuan ($387 million) in a giant scam to breed ants

Holy shiat - I am in the wrong business.

Wow. That is an assload of money to spend on ants!

I didn't know about this "ant in tea" thing. That's farking gross. Seriously, ugh.

I tried to breed my Aunt once, but she told my Mom and I got in big trouble.

i was in chinaland once and saw a cop behind me and sprayed raid all over the place. killed everything in sight. killed dead.

which was lucky. since it didn't involve muslims or embezzlement, i was cut loose.

DRUNKEN MC: "A pram entitled 'I Wandered Lonely as an Ant' by Percy Bysshhhhhe..."
OLD MAN: *whispers* "Shelley!"
DRUNKEN MC: "More, please!"

Crooked CEOs of America raise their glasses to toast the fact that they don't live in China.

Nigel Mellish?

A Chinese man has been sentenced to death for conning people out of 3 billion yuan ($387 million)
................................................
And alot of you guys we're biatchin about the church dude who was raking it in..

Man, now if they only punished some of the white collar criminals over here *coughcough*ENRON*coughcough* even remotely as strongly, then we'd have a lot less companies going under as a result, and more people with actual retirement plans intact. It's so frustrating to watch higher ups get away almost scot-free while other people take the blame.

I dropped a yen on his dumb ass..

/Atom Antson

Where is the manager?

/golf clap to subby.

Method of execution: eaten by ants! on pay-per-view television! Is anyone else here horrified?!!

Why would people try to commit fraud in China. It's just so not worth it.

Note to self, find other Chinese superstitions to exploit.

//Another note to self, don't get caught.

I am surprised and delighted that we have a Python reference that is not reffing Holy Grail.

I request more Killer Sheep, Golden Age of Ballooning, The Bishop, Spiny Norman, Bicyle Repairman, Thripshaw's Disease, No Time Tolouse, Street Mountaineering, Semprini, Ken Clean-air System, Confuse a Cat, I, ah, can't think of anything to say, Don't worry sir I'll fetch a cloth, Lemon Curry? and Njorl's farking saga.

So much to which one could make reference, and it's always the farking Holy Grail. I do not want to be a Python snob, but there is so much better than Grail.

/I'll calm down now.
/Grrr.

Wang sold packages of ants to the investors for up to as much as 10,000 yuan ($1,290) when they were only worth 200 yuan, China Central Television reported.

Heheheh, wang.

Well, It's nice to see a white-collar criminal get more punishment than a fine, but I hope that this sentence isn't carried out.

/also because most oil companies will withdraw from China...

I'm taking this ant back, mother - he's got two legs missing.

sempr*n*
b*tty
kn*ckers
kn*ckers

Mother! Are you giving that tiger drugs?

Of course I'm giving that tiger drugs! Before he started fixing, he'd go through four Jehovah's Witnesses a day. And he used to eat all of them ... except for the pamphlets.

citizensnips: I do not want to be a Python snob, but there is so much better than Grail.


eg The Dirty Vicar

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyA7MTGHfGg

The Dirty Vicar

He's still molesting her!

HOLY SHIAT!! 387 million for ants?! why would people give that much money thinking ants is a good idea?

hang em all for stupidity.

But my flamethrower is defective.

For $1000 I can guarantee every item you submit will be greenlighted.

Cash only.

Right, who's got a boil on his Semprini, then?

Egalitarian : Soon to be an unwilling organ donor.

Too true, Judges there have been revealed to be making money off the organ trade from the folks they sentence.

//Just his bad luck he tested as a rare (and profitable) tissue-match type?

/golf clap

The freshest haddock in London, second floor, third floor Ribena, ants here, television and flame throwers over there, behind them our dinner-wagon exhibition closes at six...

i had an ant farm once......

those farkers aint farm shiate.


/mitch hedberg
//c'mon man can't i just get some lettuce?

So it's officially Chris Quinn week now?

/how about a slow fade?

I worked with a guy who could quote Python as well as I could. One time we went to a place for lunch where you gave your name and they would call it over the PA when it was ready. I quietly gave my name as "Michael Ellis", so he didn't hear it. When he heard Michael Ellis paged over the PA he looked up at me, about to comment on it. I got up to go get my food before he could say anything and when he realized what I had done, he totally cracked up.

Thank you ants.... Thants!

most arcane headline ever

I just want to say, that is one of my least favorite sketches.

/Sorry, there's not enough time for that

Could you direct me to the toupe hall?

DOUGLAS! Get your STINKIN' feet off teh bread!

/I was only wipin' the cats doos off it

I thought his name was Nigel Mellish...

Great reference. Still the sketch I "get" the least - to me it almost seems like they got together and said "Let's do a Dada sketch today" and ended up writing "Michael Ellis".

Probably the only part that actually makes me laugh is Queen Victoria trying to speak English where several people in the room are crapping themselves, and she ends with "was ist das schreckliche Gepong ... es schmecke wie ein Sch****haus...". Somehow I can't see Queen Victoria saying "Sch****haus", it's about the only moment that seems so Pythonesque.