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(BE MINE)   In honor of Valentine's Day, share your best/worst dating stories in this discussion thread (with voting)   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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5625 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Feb 2007 at 2:07 PM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | » | Newest | Show all

2007-02-14 11:01:04 AM  
I dated a girl who gave me chlamydia and I still continued to hit it with out a rubber.
2007-02-14 11:10:04 AM  
I went to a bar to meet a girl for the first time, a blind date set up by an old girlfriend of mine. She showed up with a bunch of her friends, natch. One of her friends, who was married, took a liking to me and was making it plainly obvious that she was in for a fling.

She was hot as hell and normally I wouldn't have thought twice about leaving this other girl behind since it was a first date and a sure thing was staring me in the face, but something made me pause. I still don't know why, exactly, but I talked myself down from the ledge and had a few drinks with the blind date.

We have an eleven year anniversary coming up this fall. Oh, and two beautiful kids. Lucky me.
2007-02-14 11:54:04 AM  
The first time I set foot in her apartment, she came upside my head with an umbrella and knocked me down, sat on me, and gave me some of the baddest poontang I ever experience. Man, that girl was set up to do a seven-second quarter.

2007-02-14 11:55:03 AM  
SoonerGrad left me at the altar.
2007-02-14 11:57:04 AM  
I'll settle for being the protagonist in the sad stories a few girls could tell.

\Being an autistic teenager AND NOT KNOWING YOU'RE AUTISTIC really really sucks in hindsight.
\\Thanks, mom and dad.
2007-02-14 12:00:05 PM  
We have an eleven year anniversary coming up this fall. Oh, and two beautiful kids. Lucky me.

Cool story.
2007-02-14 12:00:53 PM  
President Raygun: SoonerGrad left me at the altar.

YOU USED TEETH BIATCH!!! I had no other choice.
2007-02-14 12:04:54 PM  
A girl dumped me a couple of weeks ago over text messaging.

//never gonna date a 19 year old again
2007-02-14 12:05:37 PM  
Now with voting goodness.

Was stood up for a date and later was told by the girl that she had re-united and gotten engaged with an ex-boyfriend.

Five times.

Five different girls, none of whom knew each other.

Each time on or near Valentine's Day.

No shiat, swear to FSM, on my grandmothers' graves.

To this day, refuse to do any Valentine-ey.

Married now for almost 13 years to a woman who had similar (though not as many) experiences.
2007-02-14 12:18:39 PM  
Got dumped by voicemail on February 14th. Really classy.

/happily hitched now and happy to be out of the dating game.
2007-02-14 12:24:41 PM  
On the way to Seattle met a woman on the plane who was intelligent, gorgeous, sophisticated, successful, a model. I was head over heels at first sight.

We dated in Miami, then Ft. Lauderdale, then finally got her to come over to the Bahamas, dinner at Club Med and a night I'll never forget.

She then proceeded to break my heart like a glass at a Jewish wedding.

/I'd do it again
//and again and again
2007-02-14 12:32:21 PM  
I once asked a girl over for dinner, when she got there, I opened two cans of ravoli. Now she's my wife.
2007-02-14 01:01:14 PM  
Woman talking all evening about how her ex-husband left her after 26 years of marriage. She still wondered why he did that to her. Still waiting for God to show her a sign, send her someone who would make her happy again.


2007-02-14 02:03:36 PM  
In 1995, I was approached by a girl I had little interest in - she wanted to go on a date. I said yes, but I didn't want to go on the date.

So I dropped acid an hour before she showed up. That was an interesting evening.
2007-02-14 02:09:57 PM  
first girlfriend.

where did i take her for our first valentines day dinner?

2007-02-14 02:11:00 PM  
Once, on a blind date, yada yada yada, I got arrested for DUI.
2007-02-14 02:12:09 PM  
This is my first Valentine's Day in 7 years where I have someone, and I'm so sick that I can barely type this.

Positive note: At least I go sick on a day where all the roads are solid ice.
2007-02-14 02:13:22 PM  
just a quickie:

I once new a date was basically over when the following conversation occurred:

Me: So, what sort of music do you listen to? Favorite bands?

Her: I like listening to the radio, mostly.

I'm not a huge music snob, but that just wasn't going to cut it.

/actually, the date wasn't over until later, after scoring.
//Never called her again.
2007-02-14 02:13:43 PM  
I'm 30 years old. And all my life I've only been with greedy, golddigging skanks that wouldn't lift a finger to please anybody but themselves. I wish I could meet a truly nice girl. I've come to learn that if you didn't date anybody worthwhile during HS or college you probably won't meet anybody. I hate women, and am better off without them. fark THEM ALL!!!
2007-02-14 02:13:52 PM  
The last girl I was involved with told me that she literally wanted to jump into a pool and have sex with a dolphin. I slowly walked away from that relationship and as I did so she told me that she cuts herself too.

Finding a relationship over the internet leads to crazy people scarring you for life.
2007-02-14 02:14:01 PM  
I went out with this girl and ended up marrying her.
2007-02-14 02:14:18 PM  
First date I had after my divorce, I'm having a drink with this weird chick who talked wayyyy too much, anywho about 45 minutes into it she says "Yeah, so I'll need to call my sister about 30 minutes before we get ready to leave, so she can come pick me up. I don't have a driver license."

She was 26. Never bothered to get a license, because "My ex always did all the driving, so I just never got around to it...."

That was one creepy chic.
2007-02-14 02:14:53 PM  
was dating this guy, went over to his house on my birthday, watched a movie, whatever (was only 15). Before I left he kissed me goodbye and told me to call him when I got home so he knew I got there safe (had to walk, was only a block away). called when I got home, as requested, and he broke up with me. ON THE PHONE. ON MY BIRTHDAY. next day he had a new girlfriend.

not the greatest story, but it still sucked.
2007-02-14 02:14:56 PM  
this guy i was dating finally agreed to take me out for a nice dinner and where does he go? TACO BELL
2007-02-14 02:15:01 PM  
Probably one of my first dates. We went to the beach at night and decided to go swimming....right into a swarm of jellyfish. Pretty much everything from the neck down got stung. She didn't get to have sex with me.
2007-02-14 02:15:46 PM  
After my first date with this one girl, we got back home and started messing around. She went down and gave me THE MOST PAINFUL HEAD EVER. I was sore for a week and convinced she broke my wee wee.

/wee wee still operational
//thank fsm
2007-02-14 02:15:54 PM  
i took a girl out for a third date and decided to test her. We went to portillos and I ordered a chili cheese dog with onions. She still kissed me at the end of the night. We're getting married this september
2007-02-14 02:16:00 PM  
My ex gave me the buttsecks on Valentines Day

Chiggity Chza
I dated a girl who gave me chlamydia and I still continued to hit it with out a rubber.

Nothing like catching a VD on VD
2007-02-14 02:16:16 PM  
A guy I worked with a severe facial deformity asked me out. I considered him brave for having the guts to do so, so of course I went. Never considering that he could be an ass.

We went and saw a movie (never take a girl to see a movie on your first date, btw), and after he was a smart-ass prick the whole way to the theater, he asked if I wanted some popcorn. He ordered some, but no drinks. I think, hmm, must have been an oversight, you can't have salty movie popcorn with no drinks.

We sit down, and he proceeds to remove a 20 oz. coke bottle from his coat pocket where he had hidden it when he had gotten out of the car. So he not only stopped on the way to get me to get himself a drink, he took the time to hide it from me and the theater employees and never offered me a sip. I had to dig through my purse for change to go get myself a small drink, and he not only didn't offer me any change, he didn't offer to go get it, even though he had seen the movie already.

Ugly on the outside, ugly on the inside.
2007-02-14 02:16:19 PM  
Outlaw2097 sounds like my kind of man!
2007-02-14 02:17:22 PM  
Date free on V Day for 6 straight years!! w00t w00t!!

/Sorry, no stories to tell..
2007-02-14 02:17:33 PM  
Single for 20 years (granted I've only given a damn about girls since I was 12/13) so I've yet to care about Valentine's aside from the massacre and the candy sales that happen the day after.

/singles unite!
2007-02-14 02:17:48 PM  
She made me pay for the first date and then she complained because I got it in her hair. Can you believe these women folk?!
2007-02-14 02:18:18 PM  
I didn't get laid.
2007-02-14 02:18:19 PM  

How you doin'?
2007-02-14 02:18:30 PM  
Well. Today is my birthday. So there.
2007-02-14 02:18:30 PM  
Had a girlfriend for 9 months, didn't do anything for valentines, like literally didn't even call her that day...not even fighting or wasn't till later after the 3 years of her not speaking to me she told me what I did wrong.

2007-02-14 02:18:36 PM  
moops: So I dropped acid an hour before she showed up. That was an interesting evening.

You could've at least shared. Ass.
2007-02-14 02:19:31 PM  
MooseBayou: Once, on a blind date, yada yada yada, I got arrested for DUI.

was a 2nd or 3rd date (not my current husband) and my date got busted in the parking lot of the comedy club we were going to, for a warrant/not appearing in court, over a traffic accident or something. I bailed him out.

notice, I didn't marry that one! hah
2007-02-14 02:19:34 PM  
I don't have any horrible horrible stories. Just an endless string of near-miss relationships with women that "could have been".

Any farkettes interested in a nice, stable guy for a long-term committed thing, my email is in my profile. Ya, rly.
2007-02-14 02:19:37 PM  
My junior year of high school, I managed to get the beautiful Spanish exchange student to agree to go to Snowball (spring formal) with me. She was way out of my league, and being 16 I had zero game. Also, this was February in Michigan. This will come into play later.

On the night of the dance, we were meeting at a friend's house to take pictures before going to dinner as a group. In my nervousness, I forgot her corsage. Instead of making her go without it, I decided to drive back to my house since it was only 2 miles away.

My friend's house sits across from a T-intersection. Coming into the neighborhood, I had to make a right at the intersection and his driveway was 50 feet up on the left. So the entire group of friends who were waiting for me were in the front room, where they could see the intersection clearly.

So, since I was already late, and a 16 year old moron, I was doing about 40 mph as I approached the stop sign. I hit the brakes to slow down to make the quick right-left, and alas, no response. The intersection was full of black ice and no amount of braking, wheel-turning or "Holy Shiat!"-ing was going to help. Fortunately, the snow plows pushed the snow into a big pile in his front yard or I probably would have gone almost to the living room. As it was, I hit the snow bank at a weird angle, launched the car up over, and came to rest on its side in his front yard. (No damage, amazingly. I loved my Corsica)

So, I got the corsage there on time, and put it on the wrist of my mortified date as we smiled for the picture. Of course, my hair was flattened on one side where my head hit the drivers window, and I had a massive headache.

To add insult to injury, my friend got bad directions to dinner so we were 45 minutes late for that and lost our reservation. I did not get laid that night.
2007-02-14 02:19:41 PM  
Now with voting enabled.

Went to a highschool dance with a (very cute Filipino girl, I think I was 16, she was 15?) and at the dance, we ran into some guy she knew/dated and it was like "OMG, I never thought I'd see you again after you moved!" blah blah blah. I hope she found a ride home from that dance, I dunno, since I never spoke to her again.
2007-02-14 02:20:01 PM  
The last date is was on was one of the worst. Everything went fine up to the point that we were in the middle of making love and my partner fell asleep. That was the first time my hand had ever let me down.

2007-02-14 02:20:04 PM  
Blind date shows up and with no forewarning she's a midget.

Yes, I spent the night.
2007-02-14 02:20:05 PM  
I was on a first date with this girl and it was going really well. We were talking, laughing and generally getting along great. She senses this as well and comes out with, "I wish I could have conservations like this with my husband."

I laughed at first because she was funny and I thought she was joking. She wasn't. It turned out that she "was planning" to file for separation "pretty soon" and didn't think it was important to bring up, you know, when I asked her out to begin with.

I remained calm and polite but let know her that I was now very uncomfortable. She said, "Why? My boyfriend doesn't have a problem with it."

She wasn't joking about that either.
2007-02-14 02:20:13 PM  
I've gone on a number of bad dates. Some stay in my brain just for the humor value.

Case #1: Blind date, meet at her house. Head out (in my car) to lunch. She asks if she can smoke. I say no, I'm allergic. She starts up anyway. It went downhill from there.

Case #2: I was 24, she was 14 (didn't know at the time, was the last time I ever dated anyone younger than myself) and although a demon in the sack, was definately a few cans short of a six-pack upstairs. Got my very own personal stalker for years afterward (*despite* the fact that she left me for someone else. Go figure)
2007-02-14 02:20:22 PM  
I don't understand the need for this strange thing called "romance" and "love". People realize, most that stuff was made up in the late 18th century, right?

Can't people just fark and move on? Or, fark and not "date"?
2007-02-14 02:20:26 PM  

well, so far so good. nothing horrible has happened yet today. I say yet because the day is FAR from over and I have horrible luck when it comes to guys.
2007-02-14 02:20:30 PM  
I was supposed to go out on a date at around ten because the girl i just started to date wasn't getting out of work till nine so i was hanging out with a couple of friends of mine who slipped an e pill in my beer and didn't tell me about it.Then things got interesting.
2007-02-14 02:20:37 PM  
My first date...we went to get ice cream...I was about 16 I guess. My car got a flat tire around 11pm and he had to change it. My cell phone wasn't working so I couldn't call my parents, but he assured me that he would take care of it. We had our first kiss next to an air pump at a gas station, and when I got home, my parents had been out looking for my car in ditches with a flashlight for hours. I got yelled at A LOT. Then, it turned out that my dad was racist, so I wasn't allowed to see him again. C'est la vie.
/Wow, this story sucked. Sorry!
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