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(Guardian)   Fifty men who understand women - which is about fifty more than most women think there are   ( observer.guardian.co.uk) divider line
    More: Unlikely  
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12449 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Feb 2007 at 6:23 AM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



75 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2007-02-11 02:36:09 AM  
I don't want you to understand me. I want you to remain confused. It's easier to break your spirit that way.
 
2007-02-11 03:16:11 AM  
FTFA:
4. Bill Clinton, 60
11. Daniel Craig, 38 ... Does Craig understand women? Who knows - that's not why he's on this list.
39. George Michael, 46


Well, this list is clearly pretty stupid.
 
2007-02-11 03:45:02 AM  
Judi Dench on Craig: 'It's an absolute monster! Maybe I shouldn't have said that. How uncouth of me.'

Lol. I love Judi Dench.
 
2007-02-11 06:00:53 AM  
and 45 of them are gay (NTTAWWT).
 
2007-02-11 06:28:50 AM  
[image from scott-peterson-news.newslib.com too old to be available]

Make that 51.
 
2007-02-11 06:28:55 AM  
[image from i51.photobucket.com too old to be available]
 
2007-02-11 06:43:20 AM  
Ron Jeremy understands women as much as any man needs to.
 
2007-02-11 06:43:26 AM  
No Wilt Chamberlain?
 
2007-02-11 06:48:51 AM  
Daniel Craig can understand me any time he wants.
 
2007-02-11 07:02:17 AM  
"How do I make a girl like me?"

"Well, try to find something in common, and spend, spend, spend!"
 
2007-02-11 07:12:55 AM  
Gee, I never would have guessed this list would be filled with actors and fashion designers...
 
2007-02-11 07:26:57 AM  
it's easy to understand women.they are all insane.
 
2007-02-11 07:30:13 AM  
Hooked_on_Fark Wins!

/game over man, game over
 
2007-02-11 07:43:30 AM  
[image from 80stees.com too old to be available]
 
2007-02-11 07:46:45 AM  
Ron Jeremy????

All he understands is that if you are completely unattractive and sweaty but have a freakishly large peener, a "movie" studio will pay a hot chick to let you stick it in her.
 
2007-02-11 07:47:55 AM  
Aside from the common element in that list which is money, it should be rewritten as follows:

Fifty men who most women have never met, cannot have and upon whom they superimpose their ludicrous fantasy of the man they read about in fairy stories

Sorry girls - they won't understand you any better than any either. It's a crock of shiat. Why oh why do you bleed your sorrows this way?
 
2007-02-11 07:50:39 AM  
Other.
 
2007-02-11 07:52:50 AM  
meekychuppet: Aside from the common element in that list which is money, it should be rewritten as follows:

Fifty men who most women have never met, cannot have and upon whom they superimpose their ludicrous fantasy of the man they read about in fairy stories

Sorry girls - they won't understand you any better than any either. It's a crock of shiat. Why oh why do you bleed your sorrows this way?


I agree with this, although the man saying it has stupid face and hair.
 
2007-02-11 07:55:34 AM  
Richard Pye

That stupidity took some serious cultivation.

Additionally, it's amusing to see Daniel Craig on there as he is the most homo-erotic/gay bond ever, and, I might add, the closest to Ian Fleming's Bond as well.
 
2007-02-11 08:01:37 AM  
Summary:
1) Actors are pretty (shallow but honest)
2) There is something good in Canada's water (they love the cock)
3) Men who sell pretty clothes could indulge their fashion fantasies (shallow but honest)
4) Men with money can buy them pretty things (shallow but honest)
 
2007-02-11 08:11:24 AM  
I give credit to Clooney for realizing that marriage is a trap. No, it's more like a prison sentence.
 
2007-02-11 08:14:23 AM  
NONE of those guys understand women! Follow the money, kids. That's what they know about women. Exploitation. They're exploiting women because women have a need for contraception or in-vitro, etc. They're getting rich off those women. Not to mention the fashion and shoe designers! Look at the ridiculous clothing they dress women in - trotting down the runway with some shiny, ill-fitting garb, perched on painful stiletto heels. No wonder those models never smile! And as for Clinton and Clooney, they're just exploiting women for sex. No, don't believe it for a second. They're exploiting women, not understanding them. No man will ever understand a woman. And vice-versa.
 
2007-02-11 08:24:41 AM  
People thinking they are identified first and foremost by their genitalia make me laugh.
 
2007-02-11 08:28:54 AM  
Runningjoke

People thinking they are identified first and foremost by their genitalia make me laugh.


That's one of the strangest posts I have ever read on the Farks.
 
2007-02-11 08:42:14 AM  
BBQNurse

They're exploiting women, not understanding them. No man will ever understand a woman. And vice-versa.


The proof of understanding something is the ability to accurately predict what it will do. To exploit people you must be able to predict and preferably control their responses to situations and stimuli. Although exploiters may not respect exploitees they must at least understand them.
 
2007-02-11 08:45:45 AM  
51. Buzzy USN, 29

Who: Naval Aviator, regular guy.

Why: Because he realizes women need sex just like us guys do, sometime hard, passionate, ruff & fast, & sometimes slow, tender & long. Yep, they will act like it's no big deal, but once they get started, you better make sure you keep up with them. & when they want it you better be ready. Women love to try adventurous things but be ready with a quick answer where you learned the new trick. The internet is never a good answer. From a friend, also is not a good answer. They also like presents & the strong silent type guys but when they want to discuss politics the correct answer is I have no problem voting for a woman President as long as it isn't Sen Clinton.

He says: Women want the same thing guys want. Good sex, a happy marriage, a loving husband, a good job & a few kids to enjoy in our old age. A little money in the bank is ok too. Take a shower once in awhile & talk dirty to them, sometimes they like that. They like it when you sing to them, especially if her parents are there. They like watching you do guy stuff, like working on their car or nailing boards on the pier especially if you take your shirt off. They love sitting on the beach & watching you surf or fish. & they really, really enjoy watching you play with the kids.

He also says: Well, maybe I haven't figured women out, but it sure has been fun trying. All women are special, try to keep than one in mind. & tell them you love them & would give your life for them every day. Happy Valentines day baby & ladies. Finding the right one to spend the rest of your life with is 99.9999% of your life.
 
2007-02-11 08:49:11 AM  
I understand women.

I understand women because, without looking at the list, I knew it would be filled with doctors, artists, fashion designers, and philanthropists.
 
2007-02-11 08:53:54 AM  
FLYNAVY

He says: Women want the same thing guys want. Good sex, a happy marriage, a loving husband, a good job & a few kids to enjoy in our old age.


Guys want a loving husband?

You're definitely a sailor thar navy boy.
 
2007-02-11 08:57:49 AM  
2007-02-11 08:45:45 AMFLYNAVY

51. Buzzy USN, 29

women need sex just like us guys do, sometime hard, passionate, ruff
Brings a whole new meaning to picking up a dog

Women want the same thing guys want. Good sex, a happy marriage, a loving husband
I had no idea that Navy was so open minded and progressive these days.

Happy Valentines day baby & ladies.
I guess if philandering got Clinton on the list by demonstrating he was in demand then maybe there's something to it.

/satire without ill-will
 
2007-02-11 09:07:39 AM  
1. George Clooney, 45

Step one in understanding women: Be handsome.
 
2007-02-11 09:20:52 AM  

Erik Von Markovik

what do they mean by 'know'? cause this guy's not on the list...
 
2007-02-11 09:23:35 AM  
They have a few fashion designers (Blahnik) and retailers but could easily dump Dacre, Brown and Yunus for Tom Ford, Donna Karan and Givenchy.
 
2007-02-11 09:23:58 AM  
I'd copy the picture into the thread, but there's a silly copyright on it. I think Tatsuya Ishida pretty much captured how women think men perceive them:

http://www.sinfest.net/archive_page.php?comicID=93
 
2007-02-11 09:37:22 AM  
Haha, guess I must be in touch with my "Feminine"* side than I thought, or @ sea too long, or it's been a long day. Pick 1.

*not that there's anything wrong with that.
 
2007-02-11 09:59:11 AM  
Ron Jeremy understands that women exist as targets for male spunk.

What more does anyone need to know?
 
2007-02-11 10:05:41 AM  
Easy tips to understanding women in general: Think of a man. Then take away reason and accountability.

What a woman wants:

1. A loving devoted husband and father who respects women, works hard, is romantic, thoughtful, and adoring.

2. A man who she wants to have sex with.

Note: Women ensure, by their very nature, that #1 and #2 will never ever be the same person.

Except my woman. But then, she was born outside of the USA...
 
2007-02-11 10:28:40 AM  
35 posts in, and the score is as follows:
Idiots- 6
People with half a clue- 2
OMGZors I can't believe they said thats- 2

kthnxbye,
your humble official scorekeeper.
 
2007-02-11 10:30:43 AM  
If the list is accurate, then it's a clarion call for the repeal of womens' suffrage.

...and there's a lot of truth in Rascal's post.
 
2007-02-11 10:34:25 AM  
Women know exactly what they want... everything.

As long as we realize this, we'll be ok. Just make an effort, pretend that you're listening, bring her to orgasm as much as possible and make sure she eats a few chocolates when she starts to get grumpy... and you should be ok... most of the time.

Don't ask "Why", even she doesn't know the answer to that many times... as in... "Honey, why are you cranky?" Chances are, it'll have something to do with you that you've either not done, or not done the way she wanted you to.

Ahhh... Women, I love most of you. The other ones? Well, you can't save 'em all Hasselhoff.

/doesn't pretend to understand women
 
2007-02-11 10:43:25 AM  
So since the list is heavily populated with the gheyness what I really need to understand women is to be farked in the ass? Neil Young said it best, "It don't mean that much to me to mean that much to you."

Women get the richest man they can attract, men get the best looking women they can afford. That's all there is to understand.
 
2007-02-11 10:53:14 AM  
Three things that all women want from men:

1.) cut a hole in the box;
2.) put your junk in that box; and
3.) have her open the box.

And that's the way you do it.

[image from img405.imageshack.us too old to be available]
 
2007-02-11 10:53:33 AM  
OscarTamerz

Gayness? The only ones I saw were George Michael and Almodóvar.
 
2007-02-11 11:21:50 AM  
What the hell is there to understand? Just learn that when a chick says "maybe" she means "Hell, no" and you pretty much deciphered half of her right there.
 
2007-02-11 11:26:55 AM  
Why is it on men to understand women, and not vice versa?

Men need to quit trying to "figure out" women. If you have to work that hard with one, she is not worth it. Why not just chalk it up to the chick being a psychotic human being?
 
2007-02-11 11:36:46 AM  
What's the deal with Ron Jeremy's peener? I've seen bigger ones on Brazilian transexuals.
 
2007-02-11 12:10:25 PM  
ROFLMAO, I can honestly say NONE of the men on this list understand women in my opinion. In fact, the fact that Clinton is on the list is a dead give away that the authors of the list don't have a clue. I'd for one make a eunich out of my hubby if he cheated on me.
 
2007-02-11 01:19:29 PM  
I understand women...how do I know I understand them? I pick up single and cheating married women at feminist rallies!

[image from img47.imageshack.us too old to be available]
 
2007-02-11 01:21:56 PM  
HoneyDog

ROFLMAO, I can honestly say NONE of the men on this list understand women in my opinion. In fact, the fact that Clinton is on the list is a dead give away that the authors of the list don't have a clue. I'd for one make a eunich out of my hubby if he cheated on me.


If I were your husband I'd remove your womb and make a mask out of it.
 
2007-02-11 02:14:50 PM  
HoneyDog

"And if I were your husband, I'd drink it . . ."
 
2007-02-11 02:28:11 PM  
Gee, I never would have guessed this list would be filled with actors and fashion designers...

Just what I was thinking. With, of course, the occasional fertility expert thrown in for flavor.
 
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