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(Chron)   Worshippers gather to thank God for mercifully demolishing church with his noodly tornado   (chron.com) divider line 150
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4992 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Feb 2007 at 4:54 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-02-04 05:21:57 PM
Contest over. Islam wins!

i18.photobucket.com

Mosque survives tsunami
 
2007-02-04 05:22:20 PM
Quick!

i3.photobucket.com

/waits...
 
2007-02-04 05:22:33 PM
God. You thank Him, and the insurance companies blame Him. Is there anything He can't do?
 
2007-02-04 05:23:57 PM
kb7rky

Good luck with that. He spends his entire 24 hour day on sunday in church. Probably everyday, too, since he's so religious.
 
2007-02-04 05:24:45 PM
I read that as noodly tomato. His ways are mysterious.
 
2007-02-04 05:25:12 PM
clifton:

Oh well...it was worth a try, anyway...
 
2007-02-04 05:26:03 PM
KNW

[sigh] If intelligence was EVER the reason people did or didn't do things that might actually be the answer...
 
2007-02-04 05:28:24 PM
Times like this, I like to remember the story of Job: a holy, righteous man who did everything right in the eyes of the LORD, and then one day God accepted a dare from Satan and knowingly allowed the death of all Job's cattle, sheep, camels, servants, daughters, and sons.

For weeks Job (correctly) refused to believe that he did anything wrong to deserve this. Finally the LORD appeared in a storm and said to Job, in essense: "Don't question my motives", even though His only motive was to be able to say "I told you so" to the Adversary.

Job kissed the LORD's feet, metaphorically speaking, and the LORD repaid Job's loyalty with even more children and servants. This underscores the Biblical belief that children and servants are just replacable commodities in the eyes of the LORD and are not, as some might mistakenly believe, valuable and unique individuals in their own rights.

The moral of the story is this: God may bless you with good fortune to reward your faith, or He may treat you like crap for no reason at all. This is in sharp contrast to the heathens and heretics, who derive their good fortune from Satan's worldly powers and their bad fortune from a just and vengeful God.
 
2007-02-04 05:30:24 PM
The parishoners were playing Sim City and demolished a strip club. I was not amused.
 
2007-02-04 05:34:16 PM
blazemongr: God may bless you with good fortune to reward your faith, or He may treat you like crap for no reason at all.

See, this is where God and I parted ways a long time ago. I mean Job was his boy and he didn't stick up for him when Satan wanted to mess with him. So I was like screw this dude, you gotta earn loyalty.
 
2007-02-04 05:38:20 PM
The Lord giveth; the Lord splintereth away.
 
2007-02-04 05:39:27 PM
I do, however like the fact that Gov. Crist decided to skip the superbowl to be with the victims.
 
2007-02-04 05:39:51 PM
Some people spend their entire life looking for a sign from God. And then he sends them one... and they ignore it? WTF?
 
2007-02-04 05:42:56 PM
kb7rky

just decided to avoid those bright red posting restrictions did qe?
 
2007-02-04 05:46:14 PM
Lots of hotels full on infidels survived the tsumani as well. Of course that just shows that Allah has a big a sense of humor as Gaw-Duh! (Southern Baptist pronunciation)

"Ha ha! I'm gonna destroy your home and kill your family while sparing the rich sinners you hate. Worship me, dumbass!"
 
2007-02-04 05:46:50 PM
the invisible sky wizard is a real dick
 
2007-02-04 05:49:18 PM
Let us praise God.

O Lord...ooh, You are so big...so absolutely huge. Gosh, we're all really impressed down here, I can tell You. Forgive us, O Lord, for this, our dreadful toadying, and barefaced flattery. But You are so strong and, well, just so super fantastic.

Oh Lord, please don't burn us. Don't grill or toast your flock. Don't put us on the barbecue or simmer us in stock. Don't braise or bake or boil us or stir-fry us in a wok. Oh please don't lightly poach us or baste us with hot fat. Don't fricassee or roast us or boil us in a vat. And please don't stick thy servants, Lord, in a Rotiss-o-mat.


Amen.
 
2007-02-04 05:50:49 PM
Son of Thunder Did you also fall asleep during the part of Sunday school where is is stated that He is a loving God?

No, I think I remember that part. But I did fall asleep a lot, so I might have missed the part where "loving God" got defined as "Your life will be nothing but sunshine and candy for ever and ever and ever."
 
2007-02-04 05:50:52 PM
Is it really that much fun to mess with people of faith?
 
2007-02-04 05:54:17 PM
yes
 
2007-02-04 05:55:49 PM
Its a sign.

yeah, going out of business
 
2007-02-04 05:56:45 PM
Man, I must be getting too old for this site.

I feel like some crusty old neighbor yelling at the kids because they aren't playing street hockey the right way.

FSM is one of the most friggin insulting things, because it is nothing but INTOLERANCE for religion.

Now, I'm sure you guys are SO smart that you REALLY know whether there is a God or not. In fact, you are so sure that you feel comfortable mocking people who believe.

but regardless, you show INTOLERANCE like the Muslim a holes you go so far out of your way to defend.

Hell, you p@ssies wont even DARE display anything that angers Muslims (Like Saddam's hanging video, like the Muhammed Cartoons)

But anything that insults Christians and Jews is OK.

Even if you guys are right, even if there is no God,

Do you feel good about yourselves mocking other people?
Is it the right thing to do?

And one more thing, the topic of God is a little more important than any other argument, i.e. Global Warming.

Being that there is NO empirical evidence for either argument, are you SO SURE that you can denigrate the beliefs of other people?

DIS Friggin GUSTED with you cocky, no-life-experience, living-in-your-mom's basement fark-IDIOTS.

Wow, I had no idea you guys were SOOO scary smart.

Hey know it alls,

Who is going to win the 2007 Superbowl?
How about what is the best material for Superconduction?
What does a Graviton look like?
Anyone know the correct Fermat's theorum?
How about telling me what the "Rule of thumb" refers to?
(Please tell me is the size of the stick you can beat your wife with so I can prove you wrong)

//I'm sure I'll be accused of being mean, but I'm not going to let you snotty faced know it alls get away with something I KNOW you are unsure of.

//Freaking INTOLERANT Libs, they know EVERYTHING, just ask them.


/irresistible
 
2007-02-04 05:57:46 PM
"But now He hath promised, saying, "Yet once more I shake not the earth only, but also heaven." And this word signifieth the removing of those things that are shaken, as of things that are made, that those things which cannot be shaken may remain."

/just a quote from Hebrews I was randomly reminded of
 
2007-02-04 06:01:54 PM
EricRS,

Only if they're stupid and easily pissed off.
 
2007-02-04 06:01:57 PM
blazemongr: The moral of the story is this: God may bless you with good fortune to reward your faith, or He may treat you like crap for no reason at all.

When I read statements like the above, it is painfully obvious that organized religion is the biggest con game in history. It's sad, because of course we'd all like the universe to care for the individual and for life to have a grand, transcendent purpose. Too bad it doesn't. What you're describing, blazemongr, is nothing more than chance. There's no reason to assume an actor is orchestrating random events that happen for no discernible reason.

Now, if sinners were always punished and the faithful always rewarded, you'd have my attention.

As it is I feel that you are insulting our intelligences.
 
2007-02-04 06:02:20 PM
2007-02-04 05:42:56 PM chemical_angel

kb7rky

just decided to avoid those bright red posting restrictions did qe?


I'm sorry...I either slept through that semester, or didn't get the memo.

2007-02-04 05:07:22 PM remnant

I work as a designer at a newspaper, and I'm sifting through all the AP photos of the tornado damage right now.


So, obviously, you're getting a kick out of these replies, then?

/duck
 
2007-02-04 06:04:28 PM
jonezee

Perhaps there's a cross I can nail you to somewhere?
 
2007-02-04 06:07:17 PM
jonezee
Hell, you p@ssies wont even DARE display anything that angers Muslims (Like Saddam's hanging video, like the Muhammed Cartoons)

But anything that insults Christians and Jews is OK.


Not only that, but everyone here is of the exact same mind about such things, and never differ or vary from from your stereotype at all!
 
2007-02-04 06:09:52 PM
clifton: Perhaps there's a cross I can nail you to somewhere?

Not mine dude. Hence the italics. But it is, in my opinion a great rant.
 
2007-02-04 06:13:38 PM
jonezee: Where's that from? It's spectacular.
 
rpm
2007-02-04 06:15:07 PM
blazemongr: The moral of the story is this: God may bless you with good fortune to reward your faith, or He may treat you like crap for no reason at all.


The real moral of the story is god is an insecure twit that doesn't know how to ignore those baiting.
 
2007-02-04 06:18:05 PM
The Invisible Sky Wizard Where's that from? It's spectacular.

Fark ~01/06/07

That's all I should say.

/no calling out and all that
 
2007-02-04 06:21:09 PM
jonezee: /no calling out and all that

Please e-mail me the thread #. It sounds a load of fun.
 
2007-02-04 06:23:47 PM
When life gives you shiat, make shiatcicles?

Hmm more proof that the excruciatingly religous are mentally ill.
 
2007-02-04 06:28:59 PM
Hmm more proof that the excruciatingly religous are mentally ill.

I disagree. While the logic really confuses me (i.e., praising someone you think just destroyed your home), I'd imagine that believing some higher power kept you safe will promote personal well-being (emotionlly). Plus, with their common religious bond, they also have other help.

Overall, I think they are better off in this for being religious than if they weren't.

I kind of envy people who have faith at times. I think it would be kind of cool.
 
2007-02-04 06:29:02 PM
They must not have been praying hard enough.
 
2007-02-04 06:29:09 PM
blazemongr: God may bless you with good fortune to reward your faith, or He may treat you like crap for no reason at all.

See, this is where God and I parted ways a long time ago. I mean Job was his boy and he didn't stick up for him when Satan wanted to mess with him. So I was like screw this dude, you gotta earn loyalty.


No, for his faithfulness, God gave him back ten fold what he had lost. I doubt you ever knew who God really was.

Those of you who worship worldly possessions have no clue. It's what dwells inside of you not the building.
 
2007-02-04 06:32:29 PM
No, for his faithfulness, God gave him back ten fold what he had lost. I doubt you ever knew who God really was.

Those of you who worship worldly possessions have no clue. It's what dwells inside of you not the building.


As I said faith would be pretty cool.

Cognitive dissonance is NOT a mental illness nor a sign of one. In fact, most believe that cognitive dissonance is a coping method. And here is on way to do it.

If something bad happens to me, I usually say, "This shiat sucks, I need to do something about it!" It would nice to sit and say, "DIVINE PERSON will help me."

It would be interesting to view the locus of control of religious vs. non-religious.
 
2007-02-04 06:39:15 PM
when bad stuff happens like this to christians they always explain it off as a "test of their faith". god wasnt punishing anyone, its simply a test!
 
2007-02-04 06:45:24 PM
2007-02-04 06:29:09 PM AXESMI
No, for his faithfulness, God gave him back ten fold what he had lost. I doubt you ever knew who God really was.

Those of you who worship worldly possessions have no clue. It's what dwells inside of you not the building.


Yes, because people (slaves, children, wife) are property, and not things to contain inherent value.
 
2007-02-04 06:45:28 PM
on the other hand, if this happens in one of those evil countries with brown people, that IS punishment.
 
2007-02-04 07:01:06 PM
AXESMI: No, for his faithfulness, God gave him back ten fold what he had lost. I doubt you ever knew who God really was.

Those of you who worship worldly possessions have no clue. It's what dwells inside of you not the building.


Those damned kids dwelling inside that building sure had it coming I'll tell you what.
 
2007-02-04 07:07:46 PM
amigajoe
You've obviously never visited Southeast Arkansas or West Mississippi, or Northern Lousiana have you.
 
2007-02-04 07:09:33 PM
EricRS
Is it really that much fun to mess with people of faith?

God certainly seems to think so...and we are made in his image and all...
 
2007-02-04 07:14:32 PM
I can't wrap my head around the people who are defending this as the action of a loving God.

There HAS to be some cognitive dissonance going on there: They must know on some level that they're frantically trying to fill the gaps in a false wordlview when they engage in apologetics, right?

That's some massive self-deception right there.
 
2007-02-04 07:17:11 PM
jonezee

shallow materialism isn't anymore inherent to nontheists as it is to theists.
 
2007-02-04 07:29:04 PM
EricB: when bad stuff happens like this to christians they always explain it off as a "test of their faith". god wasnt punishing anyone, its simply a test!

Zamboro: here HAS to be some cognitive dissonance going on there: They must know on some level that they're frantically trying to fill the gaps in a false wordlview when they engage in apologetics, right?

What's happening here, is that they are believe that God will use this tragedy to bring about good. When something like this happens you either take that attitude, or who curse God.
 
2007-02-04 07:36:52 PM
remnant I work as a designer at a newspaper, and I'm sifting through all the AP photos of the tornado damage right now.

Everybody in them is fat. EVERYBODY.


All the skinny people were lifted into heaven by the tornado.

Those guilty of Gluttony are not worthy of exhaltation.
 
2007-02-04 07:38:06 PM
"Dear God, please don't let this weather become something dangero-- OK, please don't let that tornado touch dow-- Alright, please God don't let it head toward... OK, please God, don't let it hit our chur-- OK, please spare us... Please God, let my arm be found soon, maybe they can re-attach-- Oh, look, the Johnson's house is intact... Did they pray louder? Am I on Holy Caller-I.D.??"

If it's all part of the Divine Plan, He should be thanked for the nice things scheduled to happen to us, and of course blamed for the bad. Satan's influence is negilgible, only occurring within the boundaries of The Plan. "Miracles" are scripted plot points. And my attitude is dictated by The Plan and therefore not, ultimately, "wrong". So no "screw you" to anyone who disagrees -- you're just disagreeing according to Plan. Did I understand that correctly? [ /rhetorical ]

We're just the Pachinko balls headed eventually to the bottom? Randomly, tho inexorably, boingedy-boinging to the bottom?

/bitter
 
2007-02-04 07:44:35 PM
AXESMI
Those of you who worship worldly possessions have no clue. It's what dwells inside of you not the building.


I hate to burst your bubble. Many people who don't buy the organized religion thing or are athiest are not obsessed with consumerism or possessions. There are plenty of fundamentalist christians who are. See the whole "god wants you to be rich" movement.
But I know it makes you feel better to frame yourself as somehow superior even if its just your personal fantasy.
 
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