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(Reuters)   Scientists plan to drop concrete balls into mouth of active volcano to stem mud flow. What could possibly go wrong? Concrete ball rain, that's what   (alertnet.org) divider line 118
    More: Dumbass  
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17989 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Feb 2007 at 2:16 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-02-02 11:52:46 AM
So, you need concrete balls to be a vulcanologist?
 
2007-02-02 11:59:47 AM
Why does the phrase "For those about to rock..." creep into my head.

It sounds like a gigantic cannon.

/FIRE!!!
 
2007-02-02 12:00:31 PM
We plan to insert up to 300 ... We will do it gradually. Our target is we will try to put 50 chains of balls in a day

There's gonna be a big release when they start slowly pulling them out.
 
2007-02-02 12:20:47 PM
Can they show that on tv?
 
2007-02-02 12:22:31 PM
A string of balls slowly inserted into a muddy hole.
What does Rick Santorum have to say about this? Then I'll know what to think.
 
2007-02-02 12:22:39 PM
oldebayer: So, you need concrete balls to be a vulcanologist?

Hey, they've got the biggest balls of them all.
 
2007-02-02 12:32:14 PM
I wanna dip my concreate balls in it!

/state
 
2007-02-02 12:34:17 PM
Didn't Superman stop an erupting volcano like this once?

Oh, and Bullshiatter, you're a bad, bad person.
 
2007-02-02 12:43:17 PM
Pocket Ninja

Signs point to "Yes".

"Chief scientist, Dr. Ben Wa"...
 
2007-02-02 12:44:49 PM
Pocket Ninja

i think superman squeezed it like a zit.

when i had an internship with the national weather service, office of public affairs, we once had a guy that called and suggested 2 ways to stop hurricanes from hitting shore.

1. Giant Coastal Fans
2. Drop a nuke in it.

hurricanes produce more energy in a minute than our entire nuclear arsenal. the fan part isn't even worth talking about. also, JR from the dallas television series used to call and complain that the weather radar near his house was a mind control machine.
 
2007-02-02 01:00:56 PM
I think this is a really great idea, ya'll. i97.photobucket.com
 
2007-02-02 01:17:08 PM
pilto: also, JR from the dallas television series used to call and complain that the weather radar near his house was a mind control machine.

Is that why you shot him?
 
2007-02-02 01:23:38 PM
They have volcanoes in Poland?
 
2007-02-02 01:36:05 PM
They're complicating this more than necessary. I've always found that a couple Immodium will stop a mud volcano.
 
2007-02-02 01:36:12 PM
pilto:
1. Giant Coastal Fans
2. Drop a nuke in it.


I LOL'd.
 
2007-02-02 01:41:17 PM
Methinks someone has a brain cloud.
 
2007-02-02 01:42:03 PM
pilto: JR from the dallas television series used to call and complain that the weather radar near his house was a mind control machine.

What kind of funny shiat did ya'll make him do?
 
2007-02-02 01:43:30 PM
I say we find a dead, beached whale, and drop it into the volcano's mouth.

/okay, so my previous attempt at blowing up a similarly-deceased aquatic mammal failed, I think this one will really work.
 
2007-02-02 01:45:06 PM
"Concrete balls you say? Hell, that's what I opted for when mine were shot off in Korea.." (or words to that effect)

www.movieactors.com
 
2007-02-02 01:55:50 PM
Seems unlikely...

www.greenpeace.org
 
2007-02-02 02:06:38 PM
I thought volcano Gods only accepted virgins.

Concrete balls?
 
2007-02-02 02:15:45 PM
vernonFL: I thought volcano Gods only accepted virgins.

Concrete balls?


It's like blue balls, but it's been there so long it's curdled.

So yeah, really old virgins, apparently.
 
2007-02-02 02:20:39 PM
I hope those "dumbass" scientists read Fark, so they can see the folly of their idea. I am confident that the many "geenuses" here will offer helpful suggestions of a far more clever nature.
 
2007-02-02 02:20:52 PM
I hope the Scientist knows the melting point of Concrete and its Density otherwise it'll melt like ice in that magma or be carried away assuming its MP is greater than lava.
 
2007-02-02 02:21:57 PM
Hoffa?
 
2007-02-02 02:22:21 PM
Did they just teabag a volcano??
 
2007-02-02 02:22:23 PM
So could be consider this the worlds largest tea bagging?

katghoti
 
2007-02-02 02:22:59 PM
"She wore a pearl necklace"
 
2007-02-02 02:23:22 PM
Must be the same idiot "scientists" who came up with this whole "global warming" crap.
 
2007-02-02 02:24:09 PM
I'm sorry, but subby said dropping balls in mouth, and there was no other relation to y'know, dropping balls in mouths? C'mon...teabag
 
2007-02-02 02:24:34 PM
Best case scenario - nothing changes, it keeps blowing.
Worst case scenario - They plug the top, just so it blows out the side (resulting in an even bigger mud flow).

I can't believe educated people came up with this. It's like trying to stop a gushing fire hydrant by sticking legos in it... one at a time.
 
2007-02-02 02:26:00 PM
img267.imageshack.us

this is sooooo wrong ....
 
2007-02-02 02:27:09 PM
damn, cgwsc & katghoti. you read my mind. giant, hot, hard-ball teabagging.
 
2007-02-02 02:27:12 PM
Just a thought.

If given enough pressure, that volcano would be like a giant shotgun towards the moon. It could be a new sport for gun-lovers.
 
2007-02-02 02:29:08 PM
... the Earth gets a giant string of anal beads

super
 
2007-02-02 02:30:52 PM
not a good idea. i am just waiting for the obvious & follow up tags to meet...
 
2007-02-02 02:31:07 PM
Claim it can "lessen the appearance of wrinkles in as few as 3 applications," and then stand back as millions of middle aged women from the U.S. come running to fill up gallon jugs of the mud.

By the end of a month, I'm sure it will be all cleaned up, with many complaining they need more of it

"The tingle means its working"
 
2007-02-02 02:31:14 PM
I for one fully support this attempt at positive anthropomorphic local climate change. Hooray science!
 
2007-02-02 02:31:29 PM
Bullshiatter
We plan to insert up to 300 ... We will do it gradually. Our target is we will try to put 50 chains of balls in a day

There's gonna be a big release when they start slowly pulling them out.


Wow. Just, wow.

/will someone explain this to me?
//claiming ignorance
///don't think it's working
////what are these slashies for?
 
2007-02-02 02:32:25 PM
submitter: balls into mouth

oh submitter, you so romantic!
 
2007-02-02 02:34:16 PM
submitter: What could possibly go wrong? Concrete ball rain, that's what

Not to mention giant Ben Wa balls rain.

FTFA: But now the government plans to try concrete balls linked by metal chains.

/beaten to the Ben Wa punchline by Bullshiatter. I salute you sir, for your skills at getting to the thread faster than me!
 
2007-02-02 02:35:38 PM
oldebayer:
So, you need concrete balls to be a vulcanologist?

You do if you're in Portland..

/cement-concrete joke..
// funny.. really..

 
2007-02-02 02:36:52 PM
Ikahoshi: Claim it can "lessen the appearance of wrinkles in as few as 3 applications," and then stand back as millions of middle aged women from the U.S. come running to fill up gallon jugs of the mud.

You win one (1) Internet!
 
2007-02-02 02:37:07 PM
Dude, you NEVER got volcano to mouth!
 
2007-02-02 02:38:32 PM
Drammach
I get it! Probably Type 50 for sulphate resistance too
 
2007-02-02 02:39:09 PM
pvd021: I hope the Scientist knows the melting point of Concrete and its Density otherwise it'll melt like ice in that magma or be carried away assuming its MP is greater than lava.

depends on the type of magma, and they are trying to stem a mud flow anyway

still could be like on of those civil war era mortars though.
 
2007-02-02 02:39:13 PM
give me doughnuts: Dude, you NEVER got volcano to mouth!

Well, you can *sometimes* with the right person...
 
2007-02-02 02:40:23 PM
muninsfire: Well, you can *sometimes* with the right person...

Is she in a tub?

/please don't ban me
 
2007-02-02 02:40:41 PM
Maybe we could use something like this to get stuff into orbit easier.
 
2007-02-02 02:41:07 PM
CapnPlaty(responding to Bullshiatter)
Wow. Just, wow.
/will someone explain this to me?
//claiming ignorance



Um, sometimes it's best not to know, but I'll explain....you need to have a reallllly dirty mind like
Bullshiatter has...
 
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