Mr_Smartypants: That (funny) video was a hoax/spoof.

Any idea if this(p) is satire as well?

They tell me I look like Merle Haggard.

I can't believe nobody linked to that crazy ad with the expanding woman. I fheyled miserably.

*Thank you* krysbabe, I *love* the pic.

/would *so* let that hit me but not for money
//fhep fhep fhep

"They still drove their beloved leader into the wilderness because of teh ghey. Then trucked him off to re-education camp in the Arizona desert to get ungheyed."

They really think that a dude can go to some kind of macho camp and become un-gay?

I mean I knew that these fundy christian types think that being gay is some kind of choice, but I guess I never followed the logic through to the idea that if one chooses to be gay, one can then choose, or be convinced, to not be gay any longer.

It boggles the mind.

Man, if that guy is spoofing, well, thank farking god. Too funny.

ChadM89: They really think that a dude can go to some kind of macho camp and become un-gay?

Yeah, some fundies think that it's possible to--pun intended--straighten someone out.

It boggles the mind.

Eh, it's just a matter of perspective. Once you figure out how to think the same way they do, it's more or less academic.

MY hometown.....I love this shiat.

All the fundies around here need a little more meth and cock, they are very uptight.

muninsfire: Once you figure out how to think the same way they do

Repeatedly smash your skull with a brick? Drink turpentine?

The real answer is probably 'read only one book in your lifetime.'

"I believe God used you to correct us"

If they had been corrected, they wouldn't be attending church.

Sinners are supposed to be welcome at church (it's full of sinners anyway; denying it doesn't change the reality). Jesus made a point of reaching out to those who needed him most. Give the congregation some credit for actually practicing what Jesus preached.

Never liked the holier-than-thou attitude anyway... the bible says very explicitly that all have sinned, and fallen short, and that none are worthy. Guess some modern-day pharisees never read those verses...

muninsfire
Yeah, some fundies think that it's possible to--pun intended--straighten someone out.

It is, of course. Anyone can be conditioned to find certain people more or less sexually attractive. It's just not as easy as going to a 12-step program, that's all.

Remember, not all homosexuals are born that way -- some have learned it as a consequence of being abused as a child.

mediaho: Repeatedly smash your skull with a brick? Drink turpentine?

The real answer is probably 'read only one book in your lifetime.'

Nah, it's more along the lines of making certain assumptions:

That the religious beliefs you have are absolutely correct, and everybody else is completely wrong.

That people who are trying to dissuade you from your beliefs are either closed-minded or agents of evil.

That anybody who does not agree with you is attempting to tempt you from your beliefs.

Once you can wrap your head around that variety of closed-mindedness, the rest comes naturally.

/Which makes my devil's advocacy far more interesting, really.

HeAintHeavy: Guess some modern-day pharisees never read those verses...

Three words for just how wrong some of them can be:

Gospel of Prosperity.

Quick1

Yes, because you can choose whether you like boobies, or whether you like wang. I sure remember that special day, when I made my decision to be a heterosexual.

And what a wonderful day it was. I went to bed the night before pondering my decision, knowing full well that the next day would require a choice. The following morning, I was a transsexual lesbian (fundie translation: Straight man in a dress)! Boy it sure is great knowing that I made the right decision. Being a social outcast that's berated constantly by the media and pin-heads whose only experience with diversity comes from the Jerry Springer Show is fun!

If you haven't made the Choice yet, be sure to visit all of the recruiters and discuss your options. Both hetero and homosexual divisions have plenty to offer, including love, friendship and crippling venereal diseases! Choose today!

-"I told Mike, 'I don't want to impose my religious beliefs on you, but I believe God used you to correct us, and I appreciate that,'" Brendle said. -

So God used him to correct Haggard or the church?


Mr_Smartypants: Thanks for posting the link...joe.my.god.he's.hot

I've been following the Donnie Davies site and video for about a week. At first I was shocked at the video, but then I started to see what a joke it was...the pink shirt...dead give away. From what I hear about "ex-gay" ministries...you would never wear anything that wasn't considered "manly".

APPROVES

Your faith will help you get though this...

muninsfire: Yeah, some fundies think that it's possible to--pun intended--straighten someone out.

I'm guessing it involves the laying on of hands. And of course lots and lots of prayer.

/and maybe some sodium pentathol

mediaho: The real answer is probably 'read only one book in your lifetime.'

You really think most of them actually read it?

blazemongr: It is, of course. Anyone can be conditioned to find certain people more or less sexually attractive. It's just not as easy as going to a 12-step program, that's all.

Just as it's easy to condition people to hold certain religious beliefs, or to condition people to buy a certain product, or...well, any number of things.

Social Engineering is a very effective course of study.

Remember, not all homosexuals are born that way -- some have learned it as a consequence of being abused as a child.

I would consider that to be a false dichotomy on two levels: sexuality is not a black-and-white you-are-gay-xor-straight situation, but more of a continuum; not all people who 'choose' to be homosexual would be 'abused'--there are people who would choose to be homosexual simply because they found someone who was attractive to them who happened to be the same sex.

shipofthesun: I'm guessing it involves the laying on of hands. And of course lots and lots of prayer.

Time spent on one's knees must never be wasted. ;-þ

muninsfire: Time spent on one's knees must never be wasted. ;-þ

muninsfire: Gospel of Prosperity.

I had to look that up. Just... wow.

Good for them. Good for him for going, too.

mediaho: I had to look that up. Just... wow.

Oh, they are something. Jesus saves, and spends it on lavish everything.

This how we do it.

We shun perversion, drugs, pederasty, et al publicly which actually helps keep it under-wraps when we do it ourselves. It's an underground activity that my minons can enjoy, profit and benefit from easly.

There's a entire underground economy at work here.

Best of both worlds really. My minions get to please the 'voters' and still please themselves with degeneracy, on the 'down-low' as you like to call it. Plus, it's all the more fun when your getting away with something you publicly denounce. It's such a rush!!! Politicians and powerful 'public servants' are truly the best client-customers; You can't really expect them to be satisfied with ordinary pleasures can you!!! They like the POWER of getting to have-it-all so to speak!

Come to the dark-side and you'll have a lot more fun.

You can ask for forgiveness later.

mediaho: I had to look that up. Just... wow.

Hadn't heard about it before? Time magazine ran a bit on it a few months back; there was a Fark thread about it, too.

Essentially, many fundamentalists have realized that the whole 'christianity' racket makes an ideal platform to spread whatever personal messages that they may have (so long as they indicate that G-d wants it, of course) and are using it in a more political way than a religious way.

This is hardly new; this is just the current iteration of what's been a practise since shortly after they invented religion in the first place. It does happen to be rather egregious to those who realize what's going on, though, and is rather less than appropriate, considering that the main message behind Christianity is one of selflessness, self-sacrifice, and caring for others.

Louis Cepher: You can ask for forgiveness later.

Or just not need to, in some cases.

That's one of the things I like about the Catholic church, above most others--you have to explicitely confront your sins on a semi-regular basis, and bring up your own failings--your own instances where you've behaved irresponsibly.

When implemented properly, that sort of thing will lead to better behaviour.

/Improperly, of course, it doesn't work--but then, nothing works when implemented improperly.

The associate pastors were just scoping him out to see if he was really hot.

My prayer is that both the escort and the former minister can find their eternal salvation.

Amen Blazemongr!

I am totally the ghey but *once* I had 3 hits of acid and the better part of a 6 pack and I was convinced that I was straight and that I had fallen in love with a girl. It actually took 2 days to wear off. I'm so glad my friends kept us apart until I came back down. Let this be a lesson to you, don't do acid and drink too much beer while playing truth or dare under a large pine tree. Your friends will mess with you.

UontaG: Let this be a lesson to you, don't do acid and drink too much beer while playing truth or dare under a large pine tree.

Also, if it's winter and you're lost in the woods in 3ft of snow, don't try to light a fire under a pine tree either. You might think it is providing nice wind cover until the fire melts the snow up in the boughs and you end up covered in half melted snow sitting next to your now extinguished fire. The more you know.

Barnacles,

There goes my appetite. Forever.

UontaG: I had 3 hits of acid and the better part of a 6 pack and I was convinced that I was straight and that I had fallen in love with a girl.

Wait, wait, wiat, are you saying that for gheys, beer and acid work in a sorta anti-goggles kinda way?

You know, I promise you that most of the Christians I know would react the way this church is - I don't hang around the Christians who don't.

Also - I heard Ted Haggard speak in 1997. He was, in my memory, the most sincere, precious, humble amazing speaker and man. When I watch videotapes of him "now" (pre-exposure) I don't really recognize him.

He just used to be more humble.

I'm pulling for him, though. He never meant to hurt anyone.

Don't take this as I'm not disillusioned, mind you. I'm just having trouble putting my finger on WHAT exactly I'm disillusioned about.

2007-01-29 12:12:24 PM OlafTheBent [TotalFark]


awesome. i bask in the light of your greatness.

ROFL.

Hell I'd be nice to him too. Anyone with biceps like that gets the nice treatment.

NeuroPunk91: Wait, wait, wiat, are you saying that for gheys, beer and acid work in a sorta anti-goggles kinda way?

Nah, it's still beer-goggles, apparently. Think of it this way: if you were completely smashed drunk and tripping (and horny to boot), and some vaguely feminine-looking guy who was drop-dead gorgeous came over and said hi, what would *you* do?

Muninsfire

Fark actually had a thread on prosperity gospel? Will wonders never cease... I'd actually be quite interested in reading that. Do you happen to remember how many comments it generated?

Anyone got a link?

neuropunk91 & muninsfire:

But it wasn't really a sexual attraction per se. It was more of a "straighten up and fly right" kinda situation. I wanted to marry her and be a "normal" person. It went far beyond sex, in fact sex didn't even cross my mind during the entire trip. Like I said, I was messed up.

mediaho

Any idea if this(p) is satire as well?

Oh, come on! Ravi Shankar? John Mayer? Barry Manilow?

Of course it's satire.

shipofthesun

You need to do some more digging.

Mr_Smartypants: Oh, come on! Ravi Shankar? John Mayer? Barry Manilow?

Of course it's satire.

The Ted Nugent (loincloth) should have tipped me off. A few years ago, I would have assumed it was satire but these days, this stuff is damn near indistinguishable from the actual rhetoric.

muninsfire
It does happen to be rather egregious to those who realize what's going on, though, and is rather less than appropriate, considering that the main message behind Christianity is one of selflessness, self-sacrifice, and caring for others.

Well-said.

An exposition of my religious beliefs would take several pages, but if I could sum it all up in one phrase, it would be: service to G-d and others.

Dad was right; I just wasted about 10 years of my life figuring this out the hard way.

muninsfire: Think of it this way: if you were completely smashed drunk and tripping (and horny to boot), and some vaguely feminine-looking guy who was drop-dead gorgeous came over and said hi, what would *you* do?

Sorry to ruin your hypothetical but on each and every single occasion where I've been both smashed and tripping, all's I want to do is get to MY bed and pass out. Has to be my bed though, I guess I'm not a normal tripper.

UontaG: But it wasn't really a sexual attraction per se. It was more of a "straighten up and fly right" kinda situation. I wanted to marry her and be a "normal" person. It went far beyond sex, in fact sex didn't even cross my mind during the entire trip. Like I said, I was messed up.

Well then , all you have to do is, take a hit of acid 3X/week and find a way to not trip so hard and you're cured!

/I keed of course!

wait just one minute. i took that pic that java drinker posted. wtf???