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(Contact Music)   Sharon and Kelly Osbourne thrown off a nude beach because they wouldn't go topless   (contactmusic.com) divider line 48
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2794 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 29 Jan 2007 at 1:16 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2007-01-29 11:07:44 AM
Who would've thought those two could actually do something sensible for a change. I'd go further and provide both with Hessian sacks (no eye holes).
 
2007-01-29 11:14:47 AM
This thread is perfect without pics
 
2007-01-29 11:21:44 AM
where's the hero tag? last thing I want to see is those two fat sows.
 
2007-01-29 11:24:36 AM
Huh. I always thought "nude beaches" were "suit optional" as opposed to "suits not permitted".
 
2007-01-29 11:31:13 AM
Sharon and Kelly Osbourne thrown off a nude beach because they wouldn't go topless

That's gratitude for you.
 
2007-01-29 11:31:14 AM
I think it was a no-win situation for them either way.
 
2007-01-29 11:34:46 AM
I've got news for you folks: Nude beachs are FULL of women who look just like Sharon and Kelly Osbourne, and men who look like Drew Carey.

Enjoy!
 
2007-01-29 11:39:19 AM
Kyosuke: Nude beachs are FULL of women who look just like Sharon and Kelly Osbourne, and men who look like Drew Carey.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

/scrambles off to cancel Hedonism vacation
 
2007-01-29 11:40:35 AM
Kyosuke


I've got news for you folks: Nude beachs are FULL of women who look just like Sharon and Kelly Osbourne, and men who look like Drew Carey.

Enjoy!


Naked man on subway: "I'm not ashamed of my body."
Jerry Seinfeld: "You should be."
 
2007-01-29 11:41:26 AM
Whoever threw them off should be awarded with the highest medal of honour a person can receive ever, from every country, ever.
 
2007-01-29 11:46:37 AM
That's...slightly strange. I've heard of nude or topless beaches before, but I've never heard of mandatory nude beaches.
 
2007-01-29 12:53:34 PM
Kyosuke: I've got news for you folks: Nude beachs are FULL of women who look just like Sharon and Kelly Osbourne, and men who look like Drew Carey.

Yes, but there are also the occasional incredibly hot girls running around, which makes it all worth it.
 
2007-01-29 01:19:47 PM
submitter: ....because they wouldn't go topless

That one word caught me totally off guard.
 
2007-01-29 01:25:23 PM
Lionel Mandrake: submitter: ....because they wouldn't go topless

That one word caught me totally off guard.



Yeah, I reread a few times, and then I remembered that nude beaches are more Roesanne and Rosie O'Donnel and less Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz 69ing on the beach.
 
2007-01-29 01:28:05 PM
Kyosuke: I've got news for you folks: Nude beachs are FULL of women who look just like Sharon and Kelly Osbourne, and men who look like Drew Carey.
You say that like it's a bad thing.

/Me likee the bears.
 
2007-01-29 01:33:00 PM
PC LOAD LETTER: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz 69ing on the beach

Now seeing that would get me thrown off a nude beach!

/wonders if those two hooking up is really true
//thinks its more likely a story that those two put out to tittilate the media
 
2007-01-29 01:35:29 PM
Oh please, I've seen worse nudes than either of those two. (Or four, depending how you look at it.)

I can't say I would go out of my way to look at either of them, but I certainly wouldn't run and hide if I caught a look.
 
2007-01-29 01:36:54 PM
I can understand why they didn't go topless and they might have been asked to leave due to paparazzi (article doesn't state if paparazzi were there shooting the two cows). But, why the fark are they going to a nude beach in the first place?
 
2007-01-29 01:48:52 PM
"Sharon and Kelly Osbourne thrown off a nude beach because they wouldn't go topless"
More likely because Ozzie and Jack DID!
 
2007-01-29 01:53:46 PM
>>>>
 
2007-01-29 01:56:37 PM
Slaxl: "Whoever threw them off should be awarded with the highest medal of honour a person can receive ever, from every country, ever."

Where would they pin it?

/ow
 
2007-01-29 02:13:40 PM
So she wouldn't go topless on a beach but she wanted to pose for Playboy?
 
2007-01-29 02:15:24 PM
Lionel Mandrake: That one word caught me totally off guard.

you're not alone.

slow-burn triple-take on the headline.
 
2007-01-29 02:24:24 PM
Trash like them were likely using binoculars to check out nude dudes.
 
2007-01-29 02:25:51 PM
So she wouldn't go topless on a beach but she wanted to pose for Playboy?

Of course!

Playboy pays, topless beaches don't.
 
2007-01-29 02:26:34 PM
PC LOAD LETTER: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz 69ing on the beach.

That would be awesome. The press could call then Salmanelope.
 
2007-01-29 02:28:08 PM
Or "them", whatever.
 
2007-01-29 02:35:17 PM
Is it odd that I have a small desire to fark Sharon? She's sort of a MILF......
 
2007-01-29 02:37:17 PM
West_Side_Charlie- The Press could call them Salmanelope.

*smacks WSC on the head with a rolled up newspaper* No! Bad!!! We do NOT refer to Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz as anything except "God's Greatest Gift", or "Hottest Lesbians EVAR!", or "Wet Dream- N. Definition: Salma Hayek smackin' clams with Penelope Cruz". None of this Bennifer, Brangelina nameplay horseshiat. This will not stand, man!
 
2007-01-29 02:39:19 PM
Tat'dGreaser

I'm with you, man. I don't know why, either. She's really not very good looking. I guess I'd nail her just to hear her scream "fark me, you dirty goddamned sailor piece of shiat!" in that nasally, high-pitched british accent. That'd be hot.

/actually, that admission just made me throw-up in my mouth a little
//I'd still hit it
 
2007-01-29 02:43:07 PM
mooseyfate: I guess I'd nail her just to hear her scream "fark me, you dirty goddamned sailor piece of shiat!" in that nasally, high-pitched british accent. That'd be hot.


oh sweet jesus........i think i just made a mess in my pants.
 
2007-01-29 02:50:45 PM
img444.imageshack.us
 
2007-01-29 02:55:27 PM
West_Side_Charlie:
The press could call then Salmanelope.

I got that from eating raw cookie dough once. It was awful.
 
2007-01-29 03:01:27 PM
2007-01-29 11:24:36 AM ArcadianRefugee

Huh. I always thought "nude beaches" were "suit optional" as opposed to "suits not permitted".

2007-01-29 11:46:37 AM exick

That's...slightly strange. I've heard of nude or topless beaches before, but I've never heard of mandatory nude beaches.


Depends on the beach. A lot of nude beaches have a mandatory nude policy with a seperate area for clothed beach goers. The reason they do this is because a voyeristic perv is less likely to set foot on a public nude beach if he himself has to be nude.
 
2007-01-29 03:16:29 PM
PRAISE THE LORD!
 
2007-01-29 03:23:46 PM
Kyosuke: I've got news for you folks: Nude beachs are FULL of women who look just like Sharon and Kelly Osbourne, and men who look like Drew Carey.

It's even worse than that - those aren't men.
 
2007-01-29 03:31:28 PM
Kyosuke: I've got news for you folks: Nude beachs are FULL of women who look just like Sharon and Kelly Osbourne, and men who look like Drew Carey.

Not South Beach.
 
2007-01-29 03:39:09 PM
"So she wouldn't go topless on a beach but she wanted to pose for Playboy?"

The beach doesn't airbrush
 
2007-01-29 04:05:33 PM
Bob Ross didn't have enough happy little trees to cover up Kelly Osbourne.
 
2007-01-29 04:28:15 PM
Kelly explains, "I went to Mallorca with my mum and we were on a beach and asked to move because we wouldn't go topless. It was my worst holiday."

Let me get this straight.

She's on vacation in Spain. I figure she is staying at 4-5 star hotels and eating at the same type restaraunts. Able to see sights thousands of years old. And she got go to a beach.

My last vacation to Wisconsin, a beutifull state go Pack go, with mother, brother, his wife and two rugrats. All crammed into a mini-van for 20 hours with a stop at a super-8 motel, one way. We ate at McDonalds and truck stops. Spending a week at my grandparent's house sleeping on the couch. No beaches and the oldest thing we saw might have been 100 years old. Then it snowed at least 6 inches.

Now I'm not complaining about the trip. It's always nice to spend time with the family.But with her worst holiday being at least 10 times better then one of my better vacations, She can suck it!
 
2007-01-29 04:53:28 PM
I'd hit the $#@^%$^$ shiat, %###^%&ing @$#%^&&* out of both those #@!%$#%# with a %$^&^&!*& crumpet ^&*&$$@.
 
2007-01-29 05:30:11 PM
Kyosuke: I've got news for you folks: Nude beachs are FULL of women who look just like Sharon and Kelly Osbourne, and men who look like Drew Carey.

They're also full of women who look like Drew Carey, and men who look like Sharon & Kelly Osbourne...
 
2007-01-29 05:48:32 PM
Thank the Lord!
 
2007-01-29 06:41:30 PM
Let us all be grateful.

By the way, the term that is used in south Alabama and west Florida is "topfree."

/Go on and make fun of us down here.
//Flora-Bama forever!
 
2007-01-29 08:35:33 PM
Queeg: Now I'm not complaining about the trip.

Yeah... doesn't really compare to my buddy's, either... 'cause the car accident killed him. I'd call that a worse holiday.
 
2007-01-29 08:44:47 PM
3rdLostPassword: Yeah... doesn't really compare to my buddy's, either... 'cause the car accident killed him. I'd call that a worse holiday.


Hey, I am sorry to hear about that.
 
2007-01-29 08:46:19 PM
West_Side_Charlie
That would be awesome. The press could call then Salmanelope.

What smells like fish?
 
2007-01-30 12:32:08 AM
Wow. 100 posts and no pics. I love you, Fark.
 
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