Man, I read that as "Guy going headfirst down on a 10 foot shark..." Creeped me the hell out.

No lasers?

PianoJosh, you aren't alone.

Nyuk nyuk nyuk.

Everybody knows you're not supposed to aim for the eyes

"He'd have a better chance of winning the lotto (than surviving that attack), and I think he would have rather done that."

OK... am playing F-A-R & powerball... K plus 1/23/07 to fill in blanks - sure winner right?

Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte... just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. 13-footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, Chief? You tell by looking from the dorsal to the tail. What we didn't know, was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin', so we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know, it was kinda like old squares in the battle like you see in the calendar named "The Battle of Waterloo" and the idea was: shark comes to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they... rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand. I know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday morning, Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boatswain's mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. Bobbed up, down in the water just like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon, the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us. He swung in low and he saw us... he was a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper. Anyway, he saw us and he come in low and three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and starts to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened... waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water; 316 men come out and the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.

Unavailble for comment

whoop whoop whoop!

Oh crikey! That'll really piss 'em off.

He's gonna need a bigger scrote.

/Nuthin. I got nuthin.

He was diving so we have to fly low to the ground, and there are mountains on the way to Canberra,'' Snowy Hydro spokeswoman Debbie Lowry said.

"When you dive you have got to a minimum of two hours adjusting ... it's decompression. The oxygen in your lungs need time to readjust or you get the bends.''

This dude obviously has no idea what he's talking about, but it's good to see that he didn't kill the guy.

+1 for you, Sir!

"A guy in the news, again, the other day. A couple days ago, he got bit by a shark. The shark let him go. He was telling the story, they brought him back to the beach. Which is just where he wants to farking be: anywhere near the ocean again! And the news reporter was like, 'What happened? Why did the shark attack you? Were you taunting it?'
"'Yeah, I go in the sea sometimes just to fark around with the sharks. I have this thing called a Shark Rocket and I shoot it at them. And it really annoys them. And then I just wade there in the water and they come at me. But I'm really good at eluding them. I know this hip move, it's something porpoises do, and I then I pretend that I have a bottleneck and I stab them in the gills. And it really is effective...'
"'How did you get away?'
"'I just punched it and it let me go.' Let's recap this. A farkin' shark come through the water... right? And this guy... Hey! The farkin' shark goes over to this guy... bites, this guy punches it in the face and a shark goes 'ALL RIGHT!' And tell me there's no time in your life when you swim faster than when a farkin' shark lets you go, you're just like "Aahhh no!" you're on the beach, "Aahhh no!" farking shark lets you go and if you don't get pussy with that story... 'You want to see my scar?'"

That guy is farking Hard Core.

This dude has the best bar story EVER!

BUT WILL HE JUMP IT?

I was kayaking about a mile out in the Gulf of Mexico when I saw a bunch of large fins swimming around, but they were dolphins. However people have caught 10-foot long hammerhead sharks there.

Ouch.

I wonder if the diver was wearing a Yum Yum Yellow wetsuit.
(yes, they actually call the bright red and yellow wetsuits this as they apparently attract sharks better)

Oi, Jonah! Stop playin' with the fish.

PianoJosh

Well maybe that's another way you could convince the shark not to kill you...

Damn right you go for the eye!

For those Americans who don't happen to know, "white pointer shark" is also known as the "great white shark". Yup, the guy was being eaten by one of those dudes, not quite a full-sized adult, but big enough.

Sharks and surfers: it's as if Darwin wrote poetry. It's so beautiful ...

*Divers, even

going down a shark?


teh engrish has offically died

"She said the diver had told the helicopter crew that he had managed to get free after the shark bit down on him, then poked the animal in the eye"

What did he use to poke him in the eye? His thumb? A handy harpoon that he was holding by his toes?

je_suis_unique What did he use to poke him in the eye?

He used a buttfor.

PianoJosh: Man, I read that as "Guy going headfirst down on a 10 foot shark..." Creeped me the hell out.

Give it time, some sick fark will make a movie about it and will win tons of awards at Sundance.
Then you'll start hearing "Shark-Man marriages" have rights too.

Any Australian worth his salt knows that you're meant to punch sharks in the nose- sharks are almost blind and rely on sensors in the tip of their nose to locate their prey. Whack them there and they get disorientated and hopefully swim off.
/have been circled by sharks before
//they were only little
///what's the go with slashies anyway?

Plumbledum

Great White's are very visual animals that watch under the water for seal shaped shadows. It may be less effective on them than a good poke in the eye.

Any Australian worth his salt knows that you're meant to punch sharks in the nose

I'm thinking his leverage for such a defense was severely hampered by the shark on his head.

Aw, man, I just spotted another source for this story on google under the headline "diver credits goggles after shark bite to head" and was going to submit it with "The goggles, they do something!", but someone beat me to it.

nemoxnine: He was diving so we have to fly low to the ground, and there are mountains on the way to Canberra,' Snowy Hydro spokeswoman Debbie Lowry said.
...

This dude obviously has no idea what he's talking about, but it's good to see that he didn't kill the guy.

+1 for you, Sir!

Debbie is a girl's name.

Better to go down a white pointer than a card.

Yeah, that's what I would have done.

/another internet tough guy

I agree with Plumbledum, you are supposed to punch them in the nose, and then if that dosent work you poke them in the eye with you stub.

Gothnet
Something new every day! Cheers.

Tom Thump
Funny to watch him try though!

"Do I have a large shark attached to my skull? I do!? Ooh, isn't my face red!"

Well, I got that off of that-thar teevee, so if you ever find yourself about to have your head bitten off by a great white, tak a moiment to evaluate the source of your information before trying an appropriate action.

Or alternatively, just thrash like a bastard and hit the damn thing any which way you can...

Everybody knows that if a shark is bothering you, you should punch it in the nose. If that doesn't work then poke it in the eye with your stump.

Classmate of mine went to Hawaii in Sept. 1989 and was killed by a shark. Closed casket Funeral. :(

This guy for just surviving deserves the hero tag

\Incident still haunts me

I think the shark was just tasting........

Actually, I am serious. Apparently the mouth is the main method sharks have for exploration.

They use their mouth to discover what is floating there. Is it edible or not?

The guy was wearing a lead-vest used for Abalone diving. The Shark bit him, got a taste of the vest, and most likely thought "Screw this, it tastes revolting".

If the shark had bitten down, the guy would be dead.

2007-01-23 06:26:54 AM Gothnet [TotalFark]

je_suis_unique What did he use to poke him in the eye?

He used a buttfor.

No he didn't.

He used a Henway.

Or maybe a Dickfir.

It's a good thing it was only a shark. If he had met a singray he would have been killed for sure.

This just goes to show you that stingrays are Australia's real killers of the deep, not sharks.

IMPRESSED

"When you dive you have got to a minimum of two hours adjusting ... it's decompression."

Really...on every dive? Wow I should have embolized long ago :)

Test bite.

Used by sharks to separate the "delicious" from the "not delicious."

I'll bet no one's ever survived an all-out attack from a Great White.

PianoJosh
Glad I'm not the only one who read it that way.
//time for more coffee....

nsfw?