I hate slide shows.

From the "Welcome Screen: Quote of the day:" A man's best friends are his ten fingers."

I prefer to think of my left as "Old Lady Thumb and her four daughters," and my right as "That gay guy and his four adopted sons."

knbber2: "Den of Prostitution and Crack House" didn't make the list???

3 seconds to read the paragraph.
The web master should be shot

The riskiest business of all.

Fark.ru has to right up there.

I'm gonna bet 'gig promoter' didn't make the list. Easily make or break $15,000 a night.. heh. That's pretty risky.

/I guess I'm a gambler

I only came in here to post Risky Business images ... Bastards beat me to it.

Well that just about summed up most any new business.

My thoughts exactly.

What's the least risky business? They seem to have covered nearly everything.

I have an idea for a business and I've been exploring the feasability of all. I took a class at the Women's Business Center and I have to say the majority of the people in the class were complete and utter morans. The instructor had everyone state their name and business idea. One woman said her idea was a restaurant. The instructor asked her what kind of restaurant. She giggled, twisted her hair around her finger, said in a little girl voice "I don't want to tell you the idea. You might steal it" and giggled some more.

Yeah, you're going to be a huge success. There were about 20 peole in the class, and only 2-3 others seemed like they had the brains and attitude to run a business. You need more than a good idea.

Trucido,

Haliburton stateside sub-contractor.

For those who don't want to go through the whole crappy "slideshow":

Transportation
Apparel Stores
Restaurants And Bars
Communications
Travel Agencies And Tour Operators
Food Stores
Personal Services
Auto Repair
Trucking
Money Services Businesses

Strip club?

/not for me of course.

Phins... was she hot?

Selling screen doors for submarines?

Retail, auto repair, transportation of both people and goods, communication, food, services, uh.... I guess begging on the streets is still a pretty good option. Not much overhead.

Trucido

Just going to say that.


What kind of business is good to start, according to them then?

Are we all supposed to be office calling centers filled with bored techinicians?

If you want to start a business that makes you money these days it benefits you to have a proprietary edge over the competition. I have started a few businesses and managed to survive because I owned the patents on the product.
Another business that I have had some success with is in computer repair and maintenance, and also web development and site building. Ninety percent of the population don't know RAM from hard drive, browser from mail program or how you get a domain. Most small businesses aren't on the web because of the intimidation factor.
So knowledge in these areas will grant success.
The Forbes list is just a list of competitive industries with no distinct advantage in knowledge or technology. They all rely on surviving the first five years and knowing how to market. Most people can do neither and must drive a cubicle for a living.

/always written my own check.

Article should have just said "everything".

Home remodeling didn't make the list.

Remodelers can expect a 15-25% profit on a kitchen or bath remodel. Kitchens and baths are where the $$ is. Not unheard of for a kitchen remodel to cost the homeowner $15-25K.
This is a tough one to start, due to the knowledge you need and the tools.
Forbes seems to have concentrated on the businesses that don't fare well and have low profit margins.


/In the biz.

rucido

What's the least risky business? They seem to have covered nearly everything.

I'm guessing drug smuggling. I mean heck, have you seen the profits? That is one job were you really can make thousands of $$$ per week week by being your own boss. Depending were you are, smuggling cigs can make you some good coin.

Home remodeling didn't make the list.


With home prices going down in most of the US, that isn't likely to make a profit for quite some time unless you're in some niche neighborhood that is immune from the credit bubble. Not saying that isn't possible, but seriously, Remodeling? Home remodels historically lose 20% in value the moment they are installed. The last few years are an anomaly.

Seatown75

That reduction in value is in the value of what was remodeled, not what the remodeler makes as a profit on doing the work.

People are remodeling even more because the cost of a new home is prohibitive.

Last few years? I've been in business since 1991.

The surest way to make a small fortune is to take a large fortune and use it to start an airline.

#11 business that has low margins and high risk: dirty deeds.

Are you sure a cigar store w/smoking would be illegal in WA under the new law?

I was at a hookah bar here in CA once, and pondering how they managed to keep the air so clear.. and it hit me, I've been here 5 times and it never occurred to me that it's supposed to be illegal to smoke indoors here. I am assuming there must be an exception for businesses where that is the whole point of the establishment, and people would therefore be expecting to be exposed to second-hand smoke..

jizz mopper?

/DRTFL

thanks morbo ;)

jizz mopper?

the local porn store in my town is always hiring for that position. they keep changing the title to throw people off, but you learn the ugly truth sooner or later.

/pays $12 an hour
//but even that's not worth it to scrape dried jizz off tv screens and walls.

I didn't see "mine sweeper" in that list.

Professional Russian Roulette Player

/id think that should be #1
//right behind Jersey Hooker QC

I'd like to second the suckage of Washington state.

#0: Internet Slide Shows.

What about Monkey Management?

Restaurants?!? Apparently the author has never been to Omaha.

My business - casino parties for hire - isn't on the list thank God. Glad to see that none of the entertainment-based businesses are on the list, actually.

/been hacking it for 2.5 years
//not quite ramen noodles, but not quite a baller either

i didn't see mine in there, so i must be playing it conservative.

I'm glad 'songwriter' was nowhere in the list because I would have been really worried. I can now with more confidence pursue my dream and open the first and last place to shop for words to songs yet written: the Empire of Lyrics Emporium.

how about catahoula breeder?



/email in profile
//shameless plug
///gotta pay for my TF somehow

smoothsix: I was at a hookah bar here in CA once, and pondering how they managed to keep the air so clear.. and it hit me, I've been here 5 times and it never occurred to me that it's supposed to be illegal to smoke indoors here. I am assuming there must be an exception for businesses where that is the whole point of the establishment, and people would therefore be expecting to be exposed to second-hand smoke..

There is a hookah bar in the U district of seattle. The only reason it is allowed to stay open is because in the smoking ban fine print, it said that the state cant close a business where smoking is the only income. This place doesnt even sell soda. Kind of a cool spot, but I bought a 2 hose hookah and a container of shisha for the same price as it cost to use theirs for an hour. My 5% jewish blood boiled.

I bet a lot of us entreprefarkeurs are checking the list for our chosen line of work. *Whew*

/freelance graphic designer
//haven't starved to death yet
///hire me!
////there's a link in my profile...

***********Last year's bubble skirts might have looked great on you***********

Wasn't that like in the 80's you know? Really?

/Start bussiness 3 months before kissmyass.
//Get name in phone book before opening.
///Suck in the customers then go to sleep for 2 months after kissmyass.

Occam'sLadySchick:

Learn Photoshop.

Delete Comic Sans font form your computer.

Learn Styles.

Add STROKE style to font.

PROFIT

Has anyone read any of the rich dad poor dad series? In there he actually states that a coin operated laundry is a good investment.

IMHO I would think one of the easiest things to get into would be storage units.

Occam'sLadySchick

Thanks for breeding more dogs. We didn't have enough already.

RaoulDuke
jizz mopper?

Are you joking me? Job security you can bank on, then go on to mentor, teach and pass down through generations.

All Bunk.

There might be more failure, but how about the corresponding low cost of entry that skews the concept? It's pretty easy to decide you want to start a t-shirt business or pizza joint. A tad bit harder to launch a biotech biz, oil exploration endeavor or steel mill.

Some of the richest people/companies are in those fields.
It doesn't always matter the type of business - just be better than it than everyone else (in efficiency and/or quality - or market timing).

Owning 10% of one of the top companies in any of those industries is better than winning the powerball. Heck, I'd be happy with 1% of most.

Meanwhile Forbes needs to figure out the Internet thing or add "magazine publisher" to the risky list.

Occam'sLadySchick

We just lost our 13 year old catahula...
Elsie
Breast cancer got her in about 6 months from when we found it.


obviously, with her coloring, we got her for next to nothing because hunters couldn't use her. The rest of the litter looked like your pups.

Aside from the shedding, by far the best dog EVER. Willful as hell, but so clever.
No way I'm showing that pic of Catahula pups to my wife, I'm afraid we'd have to have another. Just not ready yet.

EdMon

FTW.

No offense intended, Occam'sLadySchick... those are some cute-ass puppies.

New businesses fail because they are undercapitalized (which is mentioned in the article), but the reality is that most fail because the owners have this idea that owning their own business will be less work, or at least more glamorous than working for someone else.

Thats where the immigrant population has the advantage. They seem to have no illusions as to what they are getting themselves into. Think about how many teriyaki joints or dry cleaners are in your town. Most of them are immigrant owned, and they have all been there forever. I doubt there is much margin in a 99 cent cleaning of my shirts. Its the hard work and long hours that make them successful.

Now think about how many travel agents and cell phone retailers seem to be in those revolving door strip malls. Mostly white owned, with a 6 month shelf life.

If you want to own your own business, accept the fact that riches come MUCH later.

allthebetter: IMHO I would think one of the easiest things to get into would be storage units.

Storage units are not really a business as much as an investment. You buy the land, but up cheap buildings and hold onto it until the land appreciates. Then tear down the buildings and devolop it into offices or townhouses or something.

Robo Beat: The surest way to make a small fortune is to take a large fortune and use it to start an airline.

Ah, but that's not risky; that's what we call "A Sure Thing."

Ensign_Ricky

Good point.

I would also have to say that it is a lack of perspective and education too that causes entrepeneurs to fail. Some people don't have any idea what would work in their area. Case and point:

I had a friend that wanted to start her own business making fashion purses. She was going to use fir (from animals like deer and such) and start out with a price of 400 dollars per purse. I tried telling her that this wouldn't work as she had it planned but certainly did not want to hear my opinion.

EdMon: Learn Photoshop.


tell me more about this thing you call "photoshop."

Afecks: Thanks for breeding more dogs. We didn't have enough already.

BITE ME!

The 10 skankiest businesses to start

1 late night talk show
2 top 10 - list generator
3 TV station
4 girls gone wild affiliate
5 delivery pizza that features 'big sausage'
6 female shopping/crime-fighting hero cartoon studio
7 cheerleading
8 tabloid affairs newsmagazine
9 male assistant
10 keyoard cleaner/smart comment writer

Business is risky.

I had no idea!

Ensign_Ricky

I would still consider them to be a business...they have to be managed somewhat...maybe not a 9 to 5er...

LANshark: We just lost our 13 year old catahula...


Man, that stinks. they really are the best dogs EVAR! you know, a new pooch may do wonders for your wife.

As an added bonus most of those businesses will have you working your ass off, win or lose.

IBelieveYouHaveMyStapler
Article should have just said "everything".

haha waht I came in here to say

4 girls gone wild affiliate

Dammit. And I just got approved to be one too!

allthebetter
Your friend should charge way more and find a way to get it into the wardrobe of a celebrity.

The rich don't buy $400 handbags. They buy $2000 handbags, and only if it's been seen in the clutches of a celeb.

I worked with a fashion company at one point and there are realisticly 2 price points. Bags you buy at any department stores and bags you buy at highend boutiques. Guess which I was working with.

I couldn't be bothered with TFA. Was "stingray sexer" in the list?

"Mercenary" should have been #1.

If you are interested in what sorts of businesses are likely to succeed, it was at the end of the article--doctors, lawyers and insurance brokers.


/graduating law school in 10.5 months
//planning on going solo after 6 months working for someone else
///personal injury!
////most money for the least work

"How can you be busy with sales and marketing when I haven't even given you the product yet?"

I am just about to "go live" with my solar power company. I am amazed at how easily things are coming together. I've got tons of people asking if they can invest. I've never started a company before and was really confused about the process. I asked some friends (and Farkers) for suggestions and they really came through for me. I've got lots of people that are working for FREE for me. Some peoples lives fall apart but mine always seems to fall together. I'll keep you all posted on how it all works out.

oldebayer:
From the "Welcome Screen: Quote of the day:" A man's best friends are his ten fingers."

I prefer to think of my left as "Old Lady Thumb and her four daughters," and my right as "That gay guy and his four adopted sons."

I didn't know Tom Cruise had adopted. Are they from Namibia?

Well, all number 10s on the list should just DIAF. Personally, I think they should be made illegal as most have become a form of predatory lending and loansharking. And now there's one in every empty KFC and Long John's.

/Seen some firends lives almost ruined because of them.
//400% interest over two weeks, my ass.

The day of Travels Agencies is at a hand.

I "tried" using one, only to find I could accomplish more with Google than they could in their wildest dreams with... whatever they use, a catalog?

I know the 90s are over but where is .COM business on the list?

Movie studio isn't on there. I guess people seem to think it's too risky to even bother with... but I showed them. I'm laughing all the way to my empty bank account!

No crocodile farms? Snake handlers? Human cannonballs?

If the anti-abortion folks get their way, and Roe v Wade is overturned and abortion clinics shut down, then all the folks that laughed at me when I started my stomach-punching business won't be laughing so hard any more.

Cry0fan

Lawyers FTW! I just graduated law school and passed the Texas bar exam. I am currently working for a small real estate law firm in San Antonio. While the experience is good, I am not getting paid shiat, and my boss knows he is getting slave labor from me. I recently realized that with just a few thousand dollars, I could open my own small office, do a little networking, and start making as much as if not more than I am already making.

/Sole practitioner lawyer FTW to be more exact

Risky Business

Iraqi roadside Lemonade Stand

Shoe Repair! Whoo, I'm badass.

/fourth generation

2007-01-23 01:03:20 AM Trucido
What's the least risky business? They seem to have covered nearly everything.

I went to a visiting professor lecture at the University of Louisville Speed Scientific School. The speaker was a geotechnical engineering professor from Georgia Tech. He was talking about a big canal project he worked on and how they estimate subsurface conditions for a large project area based on soil borings. Another student raised his hand and asked, "How can you be sure that ..." The lecturer cut him off by saying, "You can't be sure of anything. If you want a sure thing, open a liquor store."

Hmmmmm, I could open a liquor store.

Articles like that make me want to stab someone over the internet...

Articles like that make me want to stab someone over the internet..
agree.
Someone tell me why the fark would create suck a website?
Perhaps the webmaster was made to do this because he works for Initech and his boss is Lumberg?

Folks please forgive my incoherent post. I just woke up

Afecks: Breeding dogs is a bad thing? I don't get it. I've never heard this argument before.

all impulse item store

It's important to have a job that makes a difference.

That's why I manually masturbate horses for artificial insemination.

Never mind the man behind the curtain. So I guess they covered just about every business in a round about way. What a load of crap.

fluffer ? it is a hard job to maintain.