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(AP)   Injured tortoise uses skateboard to get around   ( ) divider line
    More: Spiffy  
•       •       •

5260 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jul 2002 at 7:29 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

57 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-07-27 03:22:40 PM  
of all the good ones today i get this

spank me people
2002-07-27 07:32:56 PM  
I'll bet that it was really fun to watch him sail down a steep hill.
2002-07-27 07:33:46 PM  
That's actually pretty damned cool! At least he won't end up with major atrophy in his leg cause he can't excercise.... Besides, chick turtles will really dig the fact that he can hit the halfpipe now.
2002-07-27 07:34:29 PM  
i'm spiffy
2002-07-27 07:34:58 PM  
Tipsy showed admiring onlookers Thursday just how well he could scoot around on his mini skateboard. He bounced off walls, crashed into a door, walked over shoes and wiggled between legs.

It appears crashing into a door shows ultimate skill these days.
2002-07-27 07:36:34 PM  
Bah. No good posts to the main page today. Here is the address of something I submittted but was rejected. It is a socccer flash game. SFW.
2002-07-27 07:37:11 PM  
Finally, some new material on Fark.

Crappy material... But new material none the less
2002-07-27 07:43:35 PM  
teenage mutant ninja turtles live. i knew it.
2002-07-27 07:44:11 PM  
Ok, I have nothing to say about this article. But I want to warn you: Don't buy a "roll a hose." Mine has a hole in it already, and I've had it for about 3 weeks. Yes, I fell for an infomercial. Yes, I should have known better. I'm just trying to warn the rest of you that might be "sitting on the fence" about the roll a hose. NOT WORTH IT.
2002-07-27 07:44:33 PM  
great article
2002-07-27 07:44:41 PM  
Where the hell is the sappy tag?
2002-07-27 07:44:43 PM  
This may not be the most exciting post, but I'll give that turtle a big "right on".
2002-07-27 07:45:08 PM  

In related news, tortoise files 2.3 million dollar lawsuit against local police for hassling him for no reason. Tortoise plans to spend $$$ on Modest Mouse CDs....

2002-07-27 07:46:40 PM  
Yay Tipsy! :)
2002-07-27 07:50:42 PM  
that game is hard.....

turtle on a skateboard though... when do they start selling those at pet stores?
2002-07-27 07:52:12 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-07-27 07:52:20 PM  
Lunatic Tassle - No way! The commercial says that they are indestructable. Dude, they drive over it with a car. A car! It has to be tough to be able to stand up to that. Maybe you just aren't using yours correctly. Have you read the owner's manual?
2002-07-27 07:55:32 PM  
Anyone seen the movie Kids?

"I have no legs *shake shake shake* I have no legs *shake shake*..."
2002-07-27 07:55:43 PM  
That tortoise has my deepest respect. What other animals can you think of that have their own form of (in certain situations) high speed transportation?
2002-07-27 07:55:45 PM  
That makes me sick. All turtles make me sick. I once found a mountain of little turtle shells around the base of a giant pine tree in a forest. The ones on the bottom were old and yellow, with the skin stuff peeled off. I figured hawks were catching them in the nearby creek and dining in the tree top. Must've been doing it for years. I took a bunch of the shells. Because I could. And I wanted to "do something with them someday". My dog beat me to it, and it was a nasty, stinking mess. So turtles make me sick.
2002-07-27 07:57:50 PM  
Lunatic Tassle and Andonbray: Finally, I can reveal my secret shame. I bought a Roll-A-Hose too. The commercial intrigued me so much, particularly the fact that the woman would tote hers around with her like a purse. I wanted to be as cool as her.

But I got it, and have never used it, because you have to unroll the whole farking thing to be able to use it. Plus the instructions say not to leave it out in hot or cold weather (I live in TEXAS), AND they caution that the Roll-A-Hose contains a chemical known to cause cancer. CANCER!

I haven't sent mine back yet...apparently they will refund your money if you send it back, but they charge a $19.95 handling fee...the cost of the Roll-A-Hose!! SHENANIGANS!!!!
2002-07-27 07:59:34 PM  
Arnold did this with a turtle on "Hey Arnold"
2002-07-27 08:01:00 PM  
<img src=""
2002-07-27 08:01:51 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
Damn, forgot to close it ..
2002-07-27 08:03:08 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-07-27 08:05:10 PM  
[image from too old to be available]Sorry people, just practicing my skills before signing up to become a TotalFark.
2002-07-27 08:07:25 PM  
Speaking of infomercials, is the Ionic Breeze any good?
2002-07-27 08:13:09 PM  
I was bored...
[image from too old to be available]
2002-07-27 08:14:06 PM  
Cyffon - The commercial says that you can't live without it. And what a bargain at seven easy payments of $89.99 plu $59.99 S&H!

Have you bought any of the American Mint special edition coins yet? Genuine Liberian currency. Where is my checkbook?
2002-07-27 08:25:15 PM  
In Soviet Russia, skateboard uses tortoise to get around.
2002-07-27 08:28:24 PM  
I ordered a penis enlarger from this company that sent me an E-mail. I haven't gotten it yet. I'm not worried though. They said that it could take 6 to 52 weeks for shipping.
2002-07-27 08:31:52 PM  
Is your Roll-A-Hose leaking from one of the big holes at either end? Because I think I might know what the problem is...

Oh yeah...

[image from too old to be available]

I am not turtle enough.
2002-07-27 08:32:13 PM  
Sugarsmack: I also thought I could daintily water my plants with my new purse-a-hose. But I was FOILED!!! You must completely unwrap the fire-engine-like-hose from the convenient carrying case in order to use it..very much unlike how it's displayed on tv. AND you may be able to drive over it, and twist it into unspeakable positions, but don't get it near anything kinda sharp, like your patio, BECAUSE IT WILL PUNCTURE IT AND THERE'S NO WAY TO FIX THE TINY HOLE THAT NOW LEAKS LIKE NIAGRA FALLS.
2002-07-27 08:38:38 PM  
And the roll-a-hose doesn't really come with an owner's
"manual." More like a "piece of paper that destroys all the illusions you saw from the commercial, sucker."
2002-07-27 09:03:54 PM  
like i said spank me

worst post ive ever gotten
2002-07-27 09:08:45 PM  
9 out of 10 tortoises agree:
[image from too old to be available]
2002-07-27 09:31:03 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-07-27 09:31:26 PM  
Role a hose = 3/4" fire hose. You can buy it for $55 here, and it's tougher. 3/4" fire hose

Also, the turtle thing is cool.
2002-07-27 09:44:08 PM  
how did this degrade into roll-a-hose plugging?
2002-07-27 09:52:50 PM  
I want to see it do tricks!
2002-07-27 09:55:06 PM  
It's not a roll-a-hose plugging, it's a roll-a-hose WARNING!

I may still carry mine around town, though...

And this story about Tippy is the coolest thing I've read all day. GO TIPPY!!!! GO TIPPY!!! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!!
2002-07-27 09:59:48 PM  
Does anyone else miss Tardy Turtle as much as I do?
2002-07-27 10:10:29 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-07-27 10:23:51 PM  
the Ionic Breeze works real well.. They are expensive but I would say worth it.. We have one in our basement. Cat and Musty smells have since vanished. It's almost like a brand new house instead of 40 years old. Cleaning it however is not as easy as they make it look on the infomercial... It takes a little elbow grease to knock some stuff loose.. mainly house flys and other bugs that get sucked into it. I didnt order it over the phone. I was lucky enough to see it at the State Fair in one of those demo exibits... they had it in a sealed tent. they filled the tent with oders. smoldering candles and incense.
they let us walk through it then turned on the machine. just a few minutes later we walked through again and the air was fresh. you couldnt smell anything.
2002-07-27 10:25:47 PM  
I'm Pro-Sappy
2002-07-27 10:27:20 PM  
now for this artical... I think it would be rather fun to watch a turtle or tortoise moving around on wheels. Because its not the norm. It would probably be funny as hell.
2002-07-27 11:47:10 PM  
Hey, Lunatic Tassle, haven't you heard of new "Leak Ender 2000" as seen on TV? That should stop your silly hose from leaking anymore!!! And you call yourself an Infomercial watcher... for shame.

From me, who has had no Television since I cancelled my Dish Network. DAMN YOU CHARLIE!!!
2002-07-28 12:48:38 AM  
What, no PS of Tippy doing a grind? I would do it...but I have no PS.
2002-07-28 02:36:21 AM  
Splinter taught them to be ninja teens (He's a radical rat!)
Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines (That's a fact, Jack!)
Raphael is cool but crude (Gimme a break!)
Michaelangelo is a party dude (Party!)
2002-07-28 02:40:45 AM  
This isn;t a new article it is a repeat from yesterday .. (my yesterday) .. suprised no one picked that up.
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