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(Some Weirded out Gal)   What's the weirdest thing ever said to you on a date? LGN, VE   ( divider line
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17160 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jan 2007 at 12:25 AM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2007-01-13 10:06:34 PM  
2007-01-13 10:06:40 PM  
"You want to see a picture of me before the operation?"

/not really
2007-01-13 10:07:31 PM  
So, I was born Doug Henson.
2007-01-13 10:07:40 PM  
"I can really get into raping you"

Oh wait, I read the headline wrong.
2007-01-13 10:07:43 PM  
"No, I don't want to see a picture of you before the operation."
2007-01-13 10:08:13 PM  
When I get home your mother is never going to believe that this happened...Last time we use Craig's list for a swingers add.
2007-01-13 10:08:30 PM  
" you like cheeese?"

/stolen from "She's the man"
2007-01-13 10:08:49 PM  
Dude...why does your crotch smell like broccoli?
2007-01-13 10:08:57 PM  
I remember I was dating this girl for a couple of months. And she told me that she didn't believe in in her religion (Judaism) anymore, and had started getting really heavy into this thing that sounded curiously like scientology. But less believable.

/No lie, no snark for my Scientology people out there.
//But hell, you wouldn't have believed it either.
2007-01-13 10:10:15 PM  
2nd date with an fairly nice guy and he tells me how he's told his mom all about me. He said he talked to her on the phone for hours. We'd barely started seeing each other, so I think that's a bit odd... then he looks straight into my eyes and very seriously says "You're so beautiful... just like my Mother".

2007-01-13 10:11:25 PM  
ArcticFox: /weird

2007-01-13 10:12:23 PM  
Once had a girl tell me "You're so beautiful, just like arcticfox's mother"
2007-01-13 10:13:07 PM  
"If it wasn't for that horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."
2007-01-13 10:13:25 PM  
"Jesus Christ is your personal Lord and Saviour"

/"tell him I need a mojito then.."
2007-01-13 10:13:34 PM  
"Does this look infected?"
*Sticks her elbow 2 inches from my eyes, in a nice resturaunt*
2007-01-13 10:14:24 PM  
"I want you to meet my husband"
2007-01-13 10:14:43 PM  
her: "are you italian?"
me: "No, lots of Polish where I'm from"
her: "god I hate farking pollacks every single one is stupid as shiat"
me: "ummm"
her: "ohhhh you are polish aren't you...thats not to aren't jewish are you?"
(the last part said with a cringe)
2007-01-13 10:15:18 PM  
I've had a girl tell me "I Love You" after a first date.
2007-01-13 10:15:36 PM  
"I bet the brothers really like you"
2007-01-13 10:16:02 PM  
Swear to God, this was a first date and I had JUST picked her up. We were getting ready to back out of her driveway and she hits me with:
"Just so you know, I'm allergic to latex."
2007-01-13 10:16:18 PM  
"After you swallow me later on, you're gonna have to give me about ten minutes before I'm ready to go again."

Yeah... first date... with a coworker. That didn't last very long.
2007-01-13 10:17:10 PM  
HomerSamson113: "Just so you know, I'm allergic to latex."

hahahahaha classy.
2007-01-13 10:17:57 PM  
"Wow, I knew you were going to be a wild fark"

He's so romantic.
2007-01-13 10:18:33 PM  
This wasn't a date, but this girl moved in downstairs and I invited her up for a drink.

So, I had a "Get fuzzy" calendar in my living room. And the joke was, the dog is blocking the doorway and the cat comes up behind him and says, "Listen Bessie, this isn't Calcutta, now move it."

So, she says to me, "what's Cal-coo-ta"

So I explain to her that it's pronounced Calcutta and it's a city in India.

She still doesn't get it.

So I explain that Bessie is a typical name for a cow, and cows are sacred in India.

She finally goes, "ooooooh, well, if you have to think about it that much, it's not really funny."

I reply, "well I guess it depends on how intuitive it is to you."

Later, I walk out onto little balcony in my apartment, and I closed the screen door to keep bugs out. She came to join me on the balcony, and walked right into the screen door and bounced off it. She got up, and put her hand there to see what mysterious force was blocking her.

/she was easy, but too stupid to hit that.
2007-01-13 10:18:53 PM  
"If you try to play me, I swear to god I will kill you."
2007-01-13 10:19:30 PM  
Her: I have a confession to make.
Me: What? (Expecting some kind of STD thing)
Her: I am a vampire.
Me: Er... what?
Her: An evil daughter of the night.
Me: ....?
Her: I can see that this bothers you, but I thought I should be honest.
cjo [TotalFark]
2007-01-13 10:19:36 PM  
I was two fingers in when she said, "You can fit a lot more in there, just wait til I spread my legs."
2007-01-13 10:19:40 PM  
You know it's a bad sign when a girl starts talking about an ex boyfriend. Then she says to me, "he looked a lot like Carrot Top. I really like Carrot Top, he's funny and kind of hot. I miss that guy."

true fscking story!

/check please!
2007-01-13 10:19:50 PM  
every fri and sat there are lots of date threads. anyone who is home to post on a fri or sat night are not good people to ask stuff about dateing!
2007-01-13 10:21:15 PM  
"I don't know why girls want to meet me in public. I can kill you right here if I want."
2007-01-13 10:21:20 PM  
sweatmasterB: good people to ask stuff about dateing!

Yes, but they tend to have the funniest dating screwup stories.
2007-01-13 10:23:30 PM  
I had a girl say to me "do you like to do anything nerdy....or kinky?" while I was doing my laundry.
2007-01-13 10:26:11 PM  
unlikely: Her: I have a confession to make.

Oh, I had one of those!!!

I was dating this girl, who was an exchange student from Germany. So, she comes out with this and I'm waiting, wondering what the hell it could be. She told me she had something to tell me and it would change how I thought of her. I was expecting the worst.

She tells me, she wasn't born in Germany, but actually the USSR.

My response, "okay... and?" still waiting for the shocking part.

No, that was it.

Apparently her family hides this fact while in Germany. Despite being German blooded and raised speaking German, her family gets crap about being Soviets. Her brother was beat up in school when people found out. She's had friends never speak to her again because of it.

Weird xenophobic country.
2007-01-13 10:30:10 PM  
"Slow down! My dates have to walk a few steps behind me."

28 year old white American guy. Kid you not.
2007-01-13 10:30:37 PM  
"He was just a sperm donor."

/she was hot but no, just no
2007-01-13 10:31:55 PM  
robotics500: I had a girl say to me "do you like to do anything nerdy....or kinky?"

Princess Leia bondage?
2007-01-13 10:32:02 PM  
DieselChick: "Slow down! My dates have to walk a few steps behind me."

Wow, did slow down then kick him in the ass?
2007-01-13 10:32:17 PM  
unlikely: Her: I have a confession to make.
Me: What? (Expecting some kind of STD thing)
Her: I am a vampire.
Me: Er... what?
Her: An evil daughter of the night.
Me: ....?
Her: I can see that this bothers you, but I thought I should be honest.

I see you dated the same girl as me...

\she told me a few weeks in
\\i was tied to the bed at the time
\\\at first i thought i was a joke
\\\\until i saw the look in her eyes
\\luckily the evening went with out incident
\\didnt speak much with her after that
2007-01-13 10:32:41 PM  
DieselChick: "Slow down! My dates have to walk a few steps behind me."

How are you supposed to check out the booty if you have her walk behind you?
2007-01-13 10:32:50 PM  

/this thread is funny
2007-01-13 10:34:14 PM  
Her: "Is it true what they say about guys with big feet?"
Me: (didn't catch what she said)"What's that?"
Her: "You have big shoes."
Me: "Not too big. 'bout a 10 and a half."
Her: "INCHES?"
Me: "What?"

She cleared it up for me...and was dissapointed.
2007-01-13 10:35:13 PM  
I knew a girl in high school who was convinced she was an elf (read too much Elf Quest for her own good). She ended up getting married eventually, so I assume either she didn't tell him her "secret" or he thought he was an elf too.
2007-01-13 10:35:20 PM  
I was with this girl, we were just kind of playing around, im rubbing her clit. This is our first date. All of a sudden she spreads her legs further and says "fist me".

No shiat, true story.

/was last date
2007-01-13 10:40:53 PM  
First date:

Chick was telling me about a guy she was dating and the first time they were going to have sex, the guy gave her a strap on and asked her to peg him. She left before it ever got started.

I assured her that she wouldn't be pegging me...and thought she was kind of weird for telling me that story. I didn't go out with her again.
2007-01-13 10:41:54 PM  

That story made me feel sad inside. And made my insides feel sad.
2007-01-13 10:44:11 PM  
nanofreak: No shiat, true story.

Sure, but... did you do it? Elbow deep?
2007-01-13 10:48:57 PM  
If the chick wants fisted, fist her.

Why the hell would you turn that down?
2007-01-13 10:51:00 PM  
"That's $225, PLUS tip."
2007-01-13 10:51:15 PM  
No_47: Why the hell would you turn that down?

No idea, but he didn't go out with her again either. Maybe too much fisting left the orefice no good for other things?

Hotdog down a hallway sorta thing... you know...
2007-01-13 10:52:03 PM  
The weirdest "date" I've ever been in was when I went to this year-end party with a girl I was set up with.

Her mom and her mom's boyfriend went to it also. Both the girl and her mother worked in this hotel in different capacities, and I worked with her mom's boyfriend. I didn't get along with the girl AT ALL, but had a blast with the grown-ups. After the party, I went out with the girl downtown. I was ordering a rum & coke when she grabbed my ass. I downed my drink and we left the bar. I claimed I wasn't feeling well. I got her a cab and went back to the bar. A friend of mine surfaced, and I ended up hooking up with her.

It was one of those nights.
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