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(The Smoking Gun)   Cialis-fueled couple arrested for public indecency at Myrtle Beach family resort. They're 57 and 53. And The Smoking Gun is there with mug shots, police report   (thesmokinggun.com) divider line 182
    More: Amusing  
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38987 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jan 2007 at 2:33 PM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



182 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2007-01-09 03:23:13 PM  
Love is blind, but your cack has 20/20 vision.

Cialis
 
2007-01-09 03:23:39 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2007-01-09 03:24:00 PM  
"Front butt" = Penis?

That's a new one on me.

I wonder what other weird words they gave their 11 yo?
 
2007-01-09 03:24:06 PM  
szmike: hayseed euphemisms

wtf is a "hayseed euphemisms"?

Can they be found in "bum-fark egypt?"
 
2007-01-09 03:24:32 PM  
Crazy, apparently I am not cool enough to have known that.

I'm just saying, if they want to have sex in public, they should do it where everyone is OK with it. NOT at a family locale. I don't even like kids, and I think that's beyond rude and irresponsible. If they wanted to do this at Hedonism or someplace like that, cool, whatever.
 
2007-01-09 03:25:56 PM  
Would have really been funny if the kid said "hey Mommy, that lady is doing the same thing to that mans front butt that our maid Rosalita was doing to Daddys the other night".
 
2007-01-09 03:26:32 PM  
Username Front Butt is available.
 
2007-01-09 03:26:43 PM  
In the police report, the state offense is "Sexual Offenses - Indecent Exposure".

If found guilty of said charge, I wonder if they will have to register as sex offenders?

/would suck for them
 
2007-01-09 03:26:51 PM  
One time about 20 years ago when I was young and moranic, me and my fellow intellectually challenged spring breakers were shooting fireworks in broad daylight at an A/C repairman on the roof of an a nearby complex in Myrtle. I wish I had video of the event, as it would be YouTube fodder from hell these days.

A cop arrived shortly and asked if we'd been shooting any fireworks. Waving away the clouds of fireworks smoke, and hoping he didn't notice the dozens of fireworks littering the condo, we said "Why, no, officer, why do you ask?" Officer friendly reminded us to not be stupid and went on his way.

/We weren't stupid the rest of the week
//At least in terms of fireworks
///But we were fat and drunk on occasion
////The police report in this case is competent
//Love me some Myrtle Beach
 
2007-01-09 03:27:07 PM  
dogfood: Am I the only one confused here?

Yes. They're called "Advertisements" and they're used to sell "products".

Glad to help you out there. Welcome to Earth.
 
2007-01-09 03:28:02 PM  
I Want Candy: Crazy, apparently I am not cool enough to have known that.

NP

I'm just saying, if they want to have sex in public, they should do it where everyone is OK with it. NOT at a family locale. I don't even like kids, and I think that's beyond rude and irresponsible. If they wanted to do this at Hedonism or someplace like that, cool, whatever.

ohh I don't disagree, however classless the act was it's not like they we're committing murder. It's just sex, something every single human on the face of the planet will and should experience at least once in their life (yes even the sharp knees guy has gotten laid at least once)

Why do we villify something that is so natural?
 
2007-01-09 03:28:08 PM  
Axiomatic

szmike: hayseed euphemisms

wtf is a "hayseed euphemisms"?


Referring to male genitalia as a "front butt" is a sterling example.
 
2007-01-09 03:30:21 PM  
Funny "body part names" story:

A few months ago, I was over at some friends' house and went in to use the restroom. When I came out of the toilet area to wash my hands, their daughter, who is three, was standing there waiting. She went in and used the bathroom while I stood at the sink, and she left the door open (I'm a chick, so it's not a big deal). When she got the toilet paper off the roll, she looked at me very seriously and said, "First you wipe the vagina, then the bootie." I almost fell over laughing.

/my mom always used the correct terminology
//told me about sex when I was six
 
2007-01-09 03:30:57 PM  
BrotherTheodore

Thank you. And welcome to fark.
 
2007-01-09 03:31:34 PM  
Pumping up your 'extremities' with blood with drugs like that also makes them very hot, requiring a constant fresh ocean breeze to keep it from bursting into flames.

Sounds reasonable to me, just glad I didn't have to see it.
Though if I did, it'd be on YouTube right now.
 
2007-01-09 03:31:41 PM  
IM IN UR DEPENDS SPREADIN UR MEATCURTINS
 
2007-01-09 03:32:38 PM  
"If you have an erection lasting more than 4 hours seek immediate medical attention".


So if I go marathon on it I should call a nurse in for a threesome?
 
2007-01-09 03:32:46 PM  
this is a well-written report. Some of the stuff you see in police reports looks like it was written by a third-grader. Oh and I used to love to hear, "oh yeah, later he told me he did it but I didn't write it down in my report"-- thanks a lot dickhead, this will look really good in court.

this was funny as hell:

"WHILE WAITING, SCOTT INFORMED THE OFFICERS THAT HER "PU$$Y" WAS SHOWING AND INQUIRED AS TO WHY SHE COULD SHOW IT IN THE STREET BUT NOT ON THE BALCONY."

obviously they were having a bit of fun with this arrest.
 
2007-01-09 03:34:50 PM  
pics.hollywoodrag.com

What ya'll looking at?
 
2007-01-09 03:34:55 PM  
revskippy: So if I go marathon on it I should call a nurse in for a threesome?

Yep, and she'll arrive with a fancy dancy electroejaculator.

And no... they don't feel good.... at all.
 
2007-01-09 03:36:00 PM  
The thing that disturbs me about this is the fact that the little girl used "Front Butt" to mean penis? I think everyone involved here is just stupid.

Oh well.
 
2007-01-09 03:36:03 PM  
I don't think we villify it, Crazy. I just think that Americans are, by and large, pretty puritanical in public when it comes to nudity and sex, and then are complete horndogs in private or semi-private. However, even if you have a "European" attitude toward sex, this couple stepped well beyond the line.
 
2007-01-09 03:37:03 PM  
I thought front butt was kid-slang for the vagina?

As in: "Daddy got white pee on my front butt!"
 
2007-01-09 03:38:20 PM  
You might be a bad parent if:

Your 11 year old daughter refers to a man's penis as his "front butt."

(I'm looking at you, victim 2.)
 
2007-01-09 03:41:07 PM  
DragoonBoy

It takes quite a bit to crack me up, good job.

Winner!
 
2007-01-09 03:41:56 PM  
I Want Candy: I don't think we villify it, Crazy. I just think that Americans are, by and large, pretty puritanical in public when it comes to nudity and sex, and then are complete horndogs in private or semi-private. However, even if you have a "European" attitude toward sex, this couple stepped well beyond the line.

I don't know... I spent some time in Europe and on the beaches in france and I saw some pretty racy shiat out in the open.
 
2007-01-09 03:43:36 PM  
Thanks!

Although I have to admit I stole it from a fellow student a few years back. I'm just passing it along.

/unoriginal
 
2007-01-09 03:43:43 PM  
Sounds like typical America to me...if you don't like something, call the cops.

Just turn you farking head and move on. Why does everyone think all people need to act just like them.

Just live you life people and keep your nose out of other peoples business.

Nosey people suck
I agrees they should have went inside, but that not the point

/my neighbors were doing yardwork in the buff
//I told kids to come in the house
///never called cops
//still friends with neighbor
/has never happened since
 
2007-01-09 03:44:21 PM  
I lost my virginity in Myrtle Beach. And I had the good sense to do in private. The only reason to do it on the balcony is to be an attention whore. Given all the attention this couple got, I say they succeeded.
 
2007-01-09 03:46:53 PM  
"front butt?" whatever happened to tallywacker?
 
2007-01-09 03:47:32 PM  
Yep, and she'll arrive with a fancy dancy electroejaculator.

And no... they don't feel good.... at all.


Seriously, is that the treatment? because if I showed up at Chicago Hope with a long-time, drug-induced boner and the cure was repeated electro-spank I think I'd die laughing.
 
2007-01-09 03:51:17 PM  
danlpoon

Seriously, is that the treatment?

If you have an HMO, they just bring in Bea Arthur, naked.
 
2007-01-09 03:53:09 PM  
Just one more reason not to drop in on the folks while they're on vacation. Even if they DO have a beachfront place.
i1.tinypic.com
 
2007-01-09 03:54:09 PM  
Did he apply the Cialis directly to his face?????

JAYSUS!!!!!!1!
 
2007-01-09 03:54:20 PM  
danlpoon: Seriously, is that the treatment? because if I showed up at Chicago Hope with a long-time, drug-induced boner and the cure was repeated electro-spank I think I'd die laughing.

Nah was just being silly. Although the real treatment isn't much better.

First they intraveneous you some drug and if that doesnt work they then inject some other shiat directly into your dick. And again still if that doesn't work they start putting shunts to redirect bloodflow.

/Not that I would know from first hand experience thank god
//But knows someone who has had it
 
2007-01-09 03:54:43 PM  
Rann Xerox: Did he apply the Cialis directly to his face?????

Just the forehead.
 
2007-01-09 03:56:08 PM  
I want a "Got Front Butt?" t-shirt.
 
2007-01-09 03:56:14 PM  
Maybe William should have had a front butt gourd.

/You go you two!
//Hope I still have it going on at that age!
 
2007-01-09 03:57:16 PM  
It's G-ds cruel joke to give man 2 heads, but only enough blood to run one at a time!
 
2007-01-09 03:57:28 PM  
wruley Ordinarily, I would agree with your sentiment. Too often, instead of minding their own farking biz, people just haul off and call the cops. But after reading the incident report, turns out the people tried to do that a couple of times, then called the cops after the amorous twosome refused to be decent.

I think I side with them in this case.
 
2007-01-09 03:57:42 PM  
Pocket Ninja: Why are police reports all in caps? And why do they always seem to be written by illiterates?

because e e cummings decided against a career in law enforcement
 
2007-01-09 03:58:08 PM  
oh yeah... front-butt... just had to post it here.
 
2007-01-09 03:58:22 PM  
Nah was just being silly.

Oh. I'm a little gullible today. When I finish this Nigerian business transaction I'm going to seek help.

If you have an HMO, they just bring in Bea Arthur, naked.

I have a PPO.
 
2007-01-09 04:01:44 PM  
1) Yeah, they're not gorgeous, but they're about average-looking people, I'm afraid. Consider, too, that mug shots are about the worst photos most people have taken of them.

2) What strikes me as most weird is that they wouldn't stop when asked! Go inside, fer crissakes!

If no one had said, "Hey, we - and our kids - can see you!" I'd have to stick up for them, but really, they're in public so nobody is interfering with their "private" lives.
 
2007-01-09 04:03:45 PM  
yermej

FTW
 
2007-01-09 04:08:51 PM  
...variety of sex acts on their third-floor balcony.

They maybe ugly, but they are not lonely.

img459.imageshack.us
 
2007-01-09 04:09:14 PM  
www.thesmokinggun.com

death by dawn death by dawn!

DEATH BY DAWN!!!!


We we're the things that where and SHALL BE.... AGAIN!!!!
 
2007-01-09 04:12:12 PM  
wruley: Sounds like typical America to me...if you don't like something, call the cops.

Just turn you farking head and move on. Why does everyone think all people need to act just like them.

Just live you life people and keep your nose out of other peoples business.

Nosey people suck
I agrees they should have went inside, but that not the point

/my neighbors were doing yardwork in the buff
//I told kids to come in the house
///never called cops
//still friends with neighbor
/has never happened since




These people weren't nosy, the third floor balcony isn't that high. They were just trying to enjoy their vacation with their children. Those families paid for a room and use of the facilities at a "family" resort. I can't think of any reason the couple couldn't have moved their sex inside the room. They were the jackasses for insisting on farking outside in front of bunch of people who obviously didn't want to see it. If they had just moved into the room when they were asked (repeatedly) they could have avoided a trip to the PD, a fine for public indecency and probably a major buzzkill.

I'm all in favor of people just doing their best to get along and not getting the police involved, but people have to try to accomodate each other. If one couple can't be bothered to move their farking three feet to accomodate a group of people, then I can't feel too sorry that they had to go down to the station and pay a public indecency fine.
 
2007-01-09 04:16:33 PM  
Just take it inside for pete's sake!! I thought it read that the location of said shagging was in Horny Co.
 
2007-01-09 04:22:16 PM  
Hey, you never know, she might look hot if she woke up from a good nights sleep and put on some makeup, and wasn't drunk.

"Cialis Fueled", LOL, that cracks me up!

/Cialis fueled, Levitra turbocharged and Viagra hardened
 
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