"I'll need you to pee in this cup please... No no, you're doing it wrong, let me show you, you bad boy you."

Was this treatment covered by the patients' HoMO?

You've gotta be pretty dumb to fail a urine test...

damm you Kaiser!!!

That's hot.

You mean that's NOT how a urine sample is collected?!

strangeguitar
Was this treatment covered by the patients' HoMO?

Comedy gold!

Ok... what I want to know is how he got away with doing this to THREE men. I mean.... you go into a substance abuse centre, you're asked to take a pee test... uhm... doesn't that usually mean going into the bathroom ALONE and peeing in a cup? Yeah. So when that doesn't happen, and some dude gets FONDLED, he does nothing about it like... oh I don't know, PUNCHING THE GUY SQWA IN THE NUUUUTS! And then the second guy does that, as well...??? And then a THIRD guy is SPANKED, and although the story doesn't say it, I'm assuming he did something about it RIGHT away and the other 2 guys followed suit.

How FARKED up do you have to be to do this to someone, and how FARKED UP do you have to be to not turn the douchebag in!!!! And don't give me that "I didn't know if it was inapropriate" BS.... a pee test doesn't include a doctor grabbing your mommy daddy button.

This is sick. in so many ways.

It almost sounds like an urban legend intended to keep off drugs. "If you fail a pee test, a fake doctor might try to give you t3h homoghey.

Wait, he failed the urine test?!?

/That's unpossible!

oh boy...

Dad?

That's hawt?

/why is male gay sex not as stimulating to females as female gay sex is to males?

That is the last time I ever go with that HMO.

is it bad the spanking excites me?

druidmama: /why is male gay sex not as stimulating to females as female gay sex is to males?

Hairy backs?

vid LOL!!!!!

krysbabe
If by "excites" you mean "makes me want to hide in a corner and cry like a baby while rocking back forth, clutching my blankie" then I'm "excited", too.

vwfst55
No... its not the hairy backs. at all. If it were the hairy backs, WE wouldn't sleep with men, either. I think its the fact that them pounding eachother makes them seem well..... gay.... and therefore not the "manly men" we like.

funny you should mention hairy backs though, because they disgust me. alot. just so happens my husband has NO hair on his chest or back. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Thus laying to rest the old adage: "When you got 'em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow."

This is unfortunate b/c I've been shaving my entire body except for my back.

Alyna_jf
I think it has more to do with gay sex involves it being done in a very uncomfortable place.

vanity is teh ghey? *nods*

It's guys like this that give normal gays a bad name.

vwfst55: I think it has more to do with gay sex involves it being done in a very uncomfortable place.

The back seat of a Volkswagon?

/obligatory

vwfst55
Some hetero couples do it that way. its not "gay sex". its ANAL sex. Hayts just happen to do it that way.

its not the thought of anal sex at all. They could NOT have anal sex at ALL and anything else they did still wouldn't turn me on the way it turns guys on to think of girls that way. 2 men kissing = gross in society. 2 women kissing = "hawt". Who knows why. Men are just..... weird. lol. they like weird things.

I bet if I were a guy, I'd be gay.

vwfst55
Like the back of a volkswagen?

studebaker

"normal guy" is an oxymoron.

and "YOU'RE an oxymoron" is no comeback. its.... oxymoronic.

HA!

Alyna_jf: funny you should mention hairy backs though, because they disgust me. alot. just so happens my husband has NO hair on his chest or back. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I take it you're one of those teachers whose "husband" is actually in the sixth grade?

Alyna_jf: and "YOU'RE an oxymoron" is no comeback. its.... oxymoronic.

YOU'RE oxymoronic



pwned

LOL!

druidmama
That's hawt?

/why is male gay sex not as stimulating to females as female gay sex is to males?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sh%C5%8Dnen-ai#Audience

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slash_fiction#History

Alyna_jf, druidmama: Gay women (well, non-butch gay women) are so attractive to men, I believe, because men know that no matter how ghey they may make themselves out to be, we can still seduce them. This, of course, leads to the possibility of threesomes or even larger groups of women pleasuring .... me ^_^

Ahem, anyway, the sound of so many women moaning and otherwise making their pleasure audible is remarkably stimulating. This is why porn is so ridiculously laden with sex noise. Thus, we can assume that more women = more stimulation for a man, regardless of what they are doing (of course, it helps if they look at him with lusty eyes).

Furthermore, I would like view a statistic regarding what patently straight women think of hairy chests. I suppose "manliness" comes from within, so hair isn't that important a feature as, say, self-confidence.

I hope this clears a few things up.

It's like this.

Gay guys together is like having one bun and two hot dogs. It's pretty weird and messy and just doesn't work very well. I mean, one hot dog is sexual innuendo, but two hot dogs is just a barbecue.

Two women together is like having a juicy, hot lookin' steak that you just want to dig into... and then, HO! What's this? What could be better than having a juicy, hot and delicious steak???

Yeah baby, having TWO of 'em!

Then they kinda get all mashed together, but it's not weird and messy, it's just two heaping helpings of awesome all rolled up into one.

That's the home-ec explanation, the algebra one is like this:

Gay: weiner+weiner= 2 weiners (where weiner = manly). More manly isn't necessarily a good thing, it's just a thing. Like George Clooney manly is more manly than Justin Timberlake manly, but putting them together into some kind of Clooneylake sammich doesn't make some kind of super manly Voltron of testosterone.

Lesbians: Boobs+Boobs = Awesomex2 (where Boobs=Awesome). Easy. What's better than boobs? More boobs. It's important to specify that said boobs must accompany separate women, as a 4-boobed woman doesn't necessarily equate Boobs to Awesome at the same ratio.

It's simple math, really. Hope that clears things up.

Oh sure this is sick and disgusting to you people now, but if it was a hot female docter you would all be like "LEGEND!" and "I wish she was my docter". ;)

uh, what he said.

Alyna_jf

Ok... what I want to know is how he got away with doing this to THREE men. I mean.... you go into a substance abuse centre, you're asked to take a pee test... uhm... doesn't that usually mean going into the bathroom ALONE and peeing in a cup? Yeah. So when that doesn't happen, and some dude gets FONDLED, he does nothing about it like... oh I don't know, PUNCHING THE GUY SQWA IN THE NUUUUTS! And then the second guy does that, as well...??? And then a THIRD guy is SPANKED, and although the story doesn't say it, I'm assuming he did something about it RIGHT away and the other 2 guys followed suit.

How FARKED up do you have to be to do this to someone, and how FARKED UP do you have to be to not turn the douchebag in!!!! And don't give me that "I didn't know if it was inapropriate" BS.... a pee test doesn't include a doctor grabbing your mommy daddy button.

This is sick. in so many ways.



LOL, mommy daddy button!

/I love it!

AtomicPenguin: It's like this.

Gay guys together is like having one bun and two hot dogs. It's pretty weird and messy and just doesn't work very well. I mean, one hot dog is sexual innuendo, but two hot dogs is just a barbecue.

Two women together is like having a juicy, hot lookin' steak that you just want to dig into... and then, HO! What's this? What could be better than having a juicy, hot and delicious steak???

Yeah baby, having TWO of 'em!

Then they kinda get all mashed together, but it's not weird and messy, it's just two heaping helpings of awesome all rolled up into one.

That's the home-ec explanation, the algebra one is like this:

Gay: weiner+weiner= 2 weiners (where weiner = manly). More manly isn't necessarily a good thing, it's just a thing. Like George Clooney manly is more manly than Justin Timberlake manly, but putting them together into some kind of Clooneylake sammich doesn't make some kind of super manly Voltron of testosterone.

Lesbians: Boobs+Boobs = Awesomex2 (where Boobs=Awesome). Easy. What's better than boobs? More boobs. It's important to specify that said boobs must accompany separate women, as a 4-boobed woman doesn't necessarily equate Boobs to Awesome at the same ratio.

It's simple math, really. Hope that clears things up.

Best thing I have ever read on Fark, and accurate too.

lol!
/drtfa

Huh? That's pretty lame. Everyone knows that doctors don't spank you for failing a test. It's only shop class instructors - if I don't tell.

I work for a homosexual and I'm getting a kick out of these replies...



/not really
//i'm the one that's teh ghey
///hehe mommy daddy button rofl

"Collection site personnel, of the same gender as the Naval Aviator individual being tested, will directly observe the Aviator provide the sample with the bottom half of Aviator's uniform removed for observation. In the instance of a flight mishap or injury the entire uniform will be removed. Only medical information relating to the testing will be logged in the Aviator's file. A higher level supervisor shall review and concur in advance with any decision to obtain a specimen under direct observation except in cases of follow-up testing."

Nope, nothing in the regs about spanking, damn. But I always make it a point to ask the testing observer if he gets some thrill out of observing pilots piss in a cup all day. Guess someone has to do it to keep the Navy a drug free workplace & make sure we don't cheat.

So I shouldn't have stayed up all night cramming for the test?
Butt the doctor said I had to.
anyone dumb enough to...
/ooh forget it.

Atomic Penguin wins all the internets!!

BigJake
I take it you're one of those teachers whose "husband" is actually in the sixth grade?

well, if my husband is in the 6th grade, I'm not even in the womb..... he's 15 years my senior.