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(Some Writer)   Men have 9 inch penis', and other erotic story clichs   (modemac.com) divider line 77
    More: Amusing  
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20089 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Jul 2002 at 3:59 PM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



77 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2002-07-27 01:00:37 AM  
I sprouted a 9 inch long and 3 inch wide wood reading this article.
 
2002-07-27 01:47:43 AM  
Strange..me too! Then again, we all know Farkers have 9 inch penii as well.
 
2002-07-27 04:02:03 PM  
hehe, penii.
 
2002-07-27 04:02:15 PM  
Hey, you guys aren't being SARCASTIC, are you?
 
2002-07-27 04:03:55 PM  
my sex education was a sham
 
sec
2002-07-27 04:04:53 PM  
Only 9"?? Ha, sorry guys.
 
2002-07-27 04:05:07 PM  
They left off "... and then they started doing it Jilaad-style"
 
2002-07-27 04:05:16 PM  
random fact, i was biking around here (downtown tokyo) and an intersection was blocked off because someone had jumped. the ambulance had just left but there was a shoe and a big pool of fresh blood. you think you're having a bad day, it's better than that guy had.
 
2002-07-27 04:05:53 PM  
"...he thrust his nine-inch rod into her steaming love tunnel."

 
2002-07-27 04:06:06 PM  
my sex ed class had a question box were we put crazy shiat. like what's necropheila and is 69 a good position? etc. they read out like every 5th one.
 
2002-07-27 04:06:18 PM  
Well this is dumb. I'm not going to point by point refute all of those items, but... some of these are true in my case. Is this supposed to list cliche falsehoods?



And that's not even getting into thick blasts of semen
 
2002-07-27 04:06:45 PM  
speaking of sex stories, http://www.asstr.org
 
2002-07-27 04:07:23 PM  
Fark "steamy love tunnel." Make mine a "Hairy pink sausage wallet."

 
2002-07-27 04:09:02 PM  
That's the first time I've ever seen 'vagina' and 'asbestos' used in the same sentence. I must not get out much.
 
2002-07-27 04:10:48 PM  
Everbody has a smooth ass. Even men.

 
2002-07-27 04:11:14 PM  
*

Just so you know, I'm emailing the URL for this thread to all of your mothers....

*
 
2002-07-27 04:14:30 PM  
Ah, I've been looking for this site again of late. Love cliches, and everyone knows porn makes everything better...
 
2002-07-27 04:15:05 PM  
I'm ashamed to admit that my cock is only 8" long :(
 
2002-07-27 04:15:07 PM  
Women's panties become soaked with moisture at the slightest suggestion of sex.

This ISN"T True?

Next thing you'll tell me that Santa....
 
2002-07-27 04:17:30 PM  
The Incest cliches and the Star Trek cliches are the best. :)
 
2002-07-27 04:18:17 PM  
Who posted Modemac's site? I think he reads here once in a while.

Aren't your penii prehensile?
 
2002-07-27 04:22:43 PM  
It's sad to know im in Kansas City with Zzeuss and Farkwicket and yet here we sit on a Saturday afternoon reading about sex, instead of at Shawnee Mission park looking for sex.

[\kc sucks ass]
 
2002-07-27 04:25:25 PM  
If penis were spelled "penus", you could call the plural "penii". Then again, most of you probably DO think it's spelled "penus".
 
2002-07-27 04:27:00 PM  
BigHonky: Most of the loose tail on display at SMP is underage JoCo yuppies, man. Nice to look at, but not worth goin' to jail over. :)

And yes...kc sucks mucho grande' ass.
 
2002-07-27 04:27:39 PM  
Prehensile Penii is an in-joke of the Church of the SubGenius, of which Modemac is a member.
 
2002-07-27 04:29:18 PM  
Bisifiniti: Then again, most of you probably DO think it's spelled "penus".

Kibo spells it 'peanus'.

Kibo is always right, even when he's not.
 
2002-07-27 04:29:55 PM  
A straight woman will go mad with ecstasy when she's eaten out by a lesbian.

HAHA my favorite one, and true to some degrees
 
2002-07-27 04:31:11 PM  
I let a good buddy borrow my penis, but of course he hasn't brought it back. I miss it.
 
2002-07-27 04:34:13 PM  
Best link I've seen in a while. What's sad is that I've actually seen about half of these in use, or laughed out loud at them. Geesh. I really do need to get out. B0rg9, wanna date?
 
2002-07-27 04:38:09 PM  
ahh.. the good ol detachable penis
 
2002-07-27 04:51:02 PM  
one of the best sites on the web. altsexstories.
 
2002-07-27 04:52:29 PM  
Hey b403,
I used to live in Roppongi. Fun town. ('Cept for the jumpers)
 
2002-07-27 05:19:22 PM  
BOB! Mr JR Bob Dobbs. Hmm imagine finding him here! Slack, baby, slack!
 
2002-07-27 05:24:44 PM  
Praise "Bob"! Kill "Bob".
 
2002-07-27 05:24:52 PM  
If erotic story writers followed these rules, all erotic stories would be about unatractive unemployed middle age people, who dont do anything creative, who either never reach orgasm, or reach it far too soon.

Hot shiat, I cant wait to read that.
 
2002-07-27 05:28:47 PM  
In soviet russia, penis has 9 inch men!
 
2002-07-27 05:31:34 PM  
*praise and kill* BOB! Yeti!!!!!
 
2002-07-27 05:50:42 PM  
You mean these aren't all true?

WORLD WIDE SLACK!!!
 
2002-07-27 05:56:48 PM  
If Harry Kim and Tom Paris are in the same room togther alone for more then three sentinces then they will start having sex with each other.


Don't ask, don't tell, ensigns.
 
2002-07-27 06:20:37 PM  
Almost sad that I can think of plenty of examples for every point on that page.

30'000 porn stories in about 8 years, that's, uhm, about average right?

Poor forearm...

:)
 
2002-07-27 06:24:13 PM  
Oh man that's some funny shiznit!!!! My sides are still hurting from the laughter..........seriously!!!
 
2002-07-27 06:37:19 PM  
hahahahahah


when my wife says she wants 9 inches and make it hurt, I fark her 3 times and punch her in the nose...
 
2002-07-27 06:38:57 PM  
So is this a warning to approach Wet or Damp panties with caution ? Weak bladder ?
 
2002-07-27 06:39:43 PM  
"Oral sex is the only way to wake your lover up."
It may ot be the "only way" but it sure is alot of fun when you do
 
2002-07-27 06:42:11 PM  
07-27-02 04:15:05 PM Invets

I'm ashamed to admit that my cock is only 8" long :(


But it's thicker, right?
 
2002-07-27 06:45:10 PM  
Fumb duck: when my wife says she wants 9 inches and make it hurt, I fark her 3 times and punch her in the nose...

Anyone else read that too quickly the first time, and parse it as "fark her three times in the nose and punch her?"
 
2002-07-27 06:58:16 PM  
If penis were spelled penus, nominative singular would be peni. Not penii. If penis were spelled penius, yes. But an automatic double-i? Nope.
 
2002-07-27 07:03:33 PM  
My favorite:

"Everyone has a perfect body you could break a brick on."
 
2002-07-27 07:04:15 PM  
According to dictionary.com the plural of penis is penises or penes.
 
2002-07-27 07:12:00 PM  
Yup, there's a guy who's sent petitions to the dictionary people and they say that "penises" and "penes" are acceptible, but penii has to become more commonplace before they'll add it. Yet, I've never seen or heard anybody use 'penes'
 
2002-07-27 07:22:17 PM  
Penii's got teh funnay, though, so penii it is.

Ratfarker: Sorry, I don't do ferrets anymore (long story).
 
2002-07-27 07:27:07 PM  
Men never lose their erection in the middle of things, for no reason.

I just did.
 
2002-07-27 07:38:59 PM  
"Men have 9 inch penis', and other erotic story cliches"

correction:
Men have 9-inch penises, and other erotic story cliches

your use of the comma here is suspect too, but not totally wrong.

-your grammar nazi, stanfan114 (a.k.a. "mr. girth")
 
2002-07-27 07:40:27 PM  
My favs:
-Men who know women's bra sizes from outside their dresses.
-If a woman has small breasts, she will always have dark, pointy, otherwise amazing nipples.
-Getting ass on campus is easy...just like it was in high school.
-Any story told with a male first-person narrator will describe any other penii in the story (if mentioned at all) as being "somewhat smaller". Optionally: "...smaller but thicker".
 
2002-07-27 08:16:29 PM  
My cock is only 4 inches long, but it's 7 inches thick.
 
2002-07-27 08:22:14 PM  
Dear Penthouse Forum: You won't believe what happened to me last weekend. I know everybody says their story is true, but this one really happened. Okay, I know people say that too, but I'm not shiatting you - this one actually... oh, hell. Never mind. Here's a good jackoff fantasy I had about my secretary. Well, not really my secretary. i don't have a secretary, so maybe my boss's secretary. No, wait. She's a dog. Here's something that I wish would happen if I had a secretary better-looking than that old hag my boss is porking.
 
2002-07-27 08:30:07 PM  
So, it isn't a myth about having sex for around 12 or so hours?

I guess I have to work on my 4 hour trysts then, huh?
 
2002-07-27 08:36:18 PM  
Let me guess, Bonobo... you named it Danny DeVito?
 
2002-07-27 09:18:37 PM  
if 9 inches is considered very big, i suddenly feel very good about myself and big.
 
2002-07-27 09:25:47 PM  
Bnobo62, I think you may be looking at it wrong.
 
Ash
2002-07-27 09:28:39 PM  


Well, taking all the women who have been goodly (lucky? ;) )enough to sleep with me as a basis, I can't refute this.
 
Ash
2002-07-27 09:29:30 PM  
oh good lord, someone take my beer away from me. Ahem.

Every woman, no matter what age, has perfectly trimmed or shaved pubic hair.

Well, taking all the women who have been goodly (lucky? ;) )enough to sleep with me as a basis, I can't refute this.

*crosses fingers*
 
2002-07-27 09:32:51 PM  
 
2002-07-27 11:23:47 PM  
Okay, Dobbs-knobbers, "X-Day" has long since come and gone and the Rev. Ivan Stang's weird mail-order book is 15 years out of date. Time to bury the pipe.

In '92 I rented a Subgenius video collage of bad atomic sci-fi and other junk for 50 cents and still ended up apologizing to those who sat through it. They in turn, summed up the Church of the Subgenius in a single succint sentence: "Idiots who got a hold of a lot of good footage."
 
2002-07-27 11:28:05 PM  
that's "succinct"--stupid keybored
 
2002-07-28 12:12:39 AM  
I've seen it spelled 'penes'. In one of the more vile Sailormoon lemons I've read.
 
2002-07-28 01:01:31 AM  
pppppp eeeeeeee nn nn ii ii
pp pp ee nnn nn
pp pp ee nnnn nn ii ii
pp pp ee nn n nn ii ii
ppppppp eeeee nn n nn ii ii
ppp ee nn nnn ii ii
pp ee nn nn ii ii
pp ee nn nn ii ii
pp eeeeeee nn nn ii ii
 
2002-07-28 01:50:48 AM  
One of my articals got posted. o_O

The terrorists have allready won...
 
2002-07-28 02:18:20 AM  
Two or more high school girls left alone all weekend in a big house will invariably engage in lesbian sex. And when little sis complains about being left out, she is immediately introduced to every sex act imaginable.

This ones true, and I haven't complained about being left out since.
 
2002-07-28 02:49:34 AM  
Cliche?
 
2002-07-28 03:24:29 AM  
For verification purposes I spent hours at Alt.Sex.Stories Text Repository> and Erotic Mind Control Story Archive>. I'll be damned! The site was right!
I'm going to have another cigarette and then go wake up my husband again.
 
2002-07-28 09:50:37 AM  
So I guess that means I'm a cliche.
 
2002-07-28 12:17:05 PM  
I am happy with my 5 inches.......off the floor!!!!!
 
2002-07-28 06:32:16 PM  
mmmm, a 9 inch penis...

Hey, girls kill kittens, too, you know!
 
2002-07-28 07:32:50 PM  
07-28-02 06:32:16 PM The_cheerful_slut
mmmm, a 9 inch penis...


Those don't really exist - it's just an urban legend ... yeah.

Love the bio btw.
 
2002-07-28 08:59:13 PM  
9"? That's it? Seriously? Well, I certainly feel better about myself now.
 
2002-07-29 12:07:51 AM  
Spanish for "penis" = "pene"

Just a little FYI....
 
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