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(   Man tries to steal an entire New York City hotel valued at $76 million. That's not exactly something you can stick down your pants unnoticed   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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15962 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Dec 2006 at 10:18 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

47 Comments     (+0 »)
2006-12-29 03:22:41 PM  
Put it under your hat. It's the best place to hide stuff.
2006-12-29 03:30:21 PM  
Best tell the Night Watch that guarding the theatre isn't necessarily a ticket out of work, then.
2006-12-29 07:30:30 PM  
A lesson for us all: if you're going to steal commercial real estate, be sure to fill out the right forms, with all the necessary signatures. There is NO excuse for sloppiness!
2006-12-29 10:19:00 PM  
Maybe not *your* pants.
2006-12-29 10:20:54 PM  
wow, the green lights are coming fast tonight. Hey.. hey buddy.. .I got a bridge for you....
2006-12-29 10:24:01 PM  
m0ondoggy: Maybe not *your* pants.

Are you saying you have a lot of unused space in your pants?
2006-12-29 10:24:13 PM  
Is he one of the VILE henchmen?
2006-12-29 10:25:22 PM  
If he did try that, he'd certainly pass for a hardened criminal...
2006-12-29 10:25:33 PM  
It was in my pocket.

It's bigger on the inside than the outside.

/god bless you, doctor
2006-12-29 10:26:06 PM  
M0ondoggy: Damn you.
/too slow
2006-12-29 10:26:13 PM  
Is that a hotel in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
2006-12-29 10:30:32 PM  
He would have gotten away if he had dotted his "i" s.
2006-12-29 10:32:10 PM  
Speak for yourself, Tiny McNeedleDick VonSmallBalls.
2006-12-29 10:32:53 PM  
Did he trade in his four houses first?
2006-12-29 10:33:09 PM  
Fark that, I can steal at least 2 hotels in my pants

[image from too old to be available]
2006-12-29 10:35:58 PM  
Wanted for questioning.

[image from too old to be available]

Yes, I am old.
2006-12-29 10:36:29 PM  
I can fit it in there if I take the giant snake out...He's not a fan of NYC architecture..
2006-12-29 10:36:53 PM  
will somebody please explain the bridge in brooklyn cliche to me?
2006-12-29 10:41:53 PM  
I worked over the whole mini bar one time and filled up the vodka with water and did not get charged.
/before electronic
//158$ on my cc
2006-12-29 10:42:23 PM  
...and he would have gotten away with it too if it were'nt for those meddling ..DOI?
2006-12-29 10:45:45 PM  
I bet he forgot the cover letter on those TPS reports

[image from too old to be available]
2006-12-29 10:46:41 PM  
He needed an SEP field
2006-12-29 10:50:26 PM  

2006-12-29 10:51:08 PM  
You can if you're Carmen Sandiego.

Hell, she was stealing the Great Wall of China and stuff like that. Stealing a hotel shouldn't be a problem for her.
2006-12-29 10:53:04 PM  
“I would like to commend the DOF employee who reported this matter to DOI," Department of Investigation Commissioner Rose Gill Hearn said in a statement. Hearn added, “WTF, the perp will be in a PMITA prison PDQ. DIAF, evil-doers! You are all FUBAR!”
2006-12-29 10:53:30 PM  
"Nothing ventured, nothing gained."
2006-12-29 10:53:41 PM  
maybe not in my pants, but i have this bag here, it has some kind of black hole in it or something.
2006-12-29 10:56:13 PM  
pssht. A few hotels, some houses, a wheelbarrow, a car, a terrier, and a thimble--just for good measure. All that and more in my drawers.
2006-12-29 11:03:37 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Resemblance is scarry.
2006-12-29 11:06:06 PM  
Guess he missed that lecture at the Trump Real Estate Magick Institute.

/was rather ingenious
//he had poor follow-through on his serve
2006-12-29 11:08:24 PM  
Whoops. Wrong thread.
2006-12-29 11:21:21 PM  
In my pants, I stole eight comic books, seven packs of smokes, six packs of Tuborg, five golden toques, four pounds of back bacon, three French toast, two turtlenecks, and a beer in a tree.
2006-12-29 11:21:24 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Carmen Sandiego is Not Impressed
2006-12-29 11:22:22 PM  
2006-12-29 11:24:05 PM  
qermag, wasnt it six packs of two-four???

/i know the lyrics
//a pack of two four is canadian for a case of beer
///you learn stuff every day.
2006-12-30 12:46:44 AM  
Is The Donald at it again?
2006-12-30 01:38:02 AM  
Troggie42: a pack of two four is canadian for a case of beer

Well, the "pack of" part isn't really used that much. It's just a two-four, or even a too-fer...

/Bet you could carry a lot of two-fours in a C-5
2006-12-30 01:46:29 AM  
Silly! You can't stick a SoHo Grand down your pants unnoticed! Maybe a Hilton.
2006-12-30 02:44:41 AM  
I never realized how manly Carmen Sandiego.
2006-12-30 02:47:36 AM  
Came all the way to america for -that-??
2006-12-30 03:09:49 AM  
whitey won't give a brother a chance.
2006-12-30 03:14:32 AM  
Am I the only one who thinks "Carmen Sandiego" looks like a tranny??
2006-12-30 08:38:43 AM  
Of course you CAN'T steal commercial real estate in NYC. Privately owned real estate? Well... that's another story...
2006-12-30 10:16:53 AM  
"returned to the department at least four other times to try and have the deed recorded again. During one of those visits, a department employee became suspicious"

Sounds like you have at least an 80% chance (4 out of 5 visits) of being successful. He just came back too many times - if he got it right the first time, no one would of noticed.

On the other hand, probably everyone would of noticed - who can fill out umpteen (that's like a brazilian) government forms correctly the first time? Especially because they are filled out differently depending on which government employee is examining them.
2006-12-30 12:11:25 PM  
My friends in Christ, I have recently come into my father's inheritance, a very prominant hotel in the United States in the city of New York. As I am just a poor goat herder in Nigeria, I am willing to sell this valuable property to you for well below the price my father said it was worth.
If you could send me proof that you are of good faith I will enable you to take possession of this property immediately.
Yours in Christ,
Kouadio Kouassi
2006-12-30 03:25:19 PM  
Pretty confident on Tuborg. Two-four wouldn't make sense in this context.
2006-12-30 09:02:31 PM  
He should have talked to Sandy Berger first...
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