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(FlaToday)   Guy who slapped air marshal told fellow passenger right before the slap, "I don't know who that guy thinks he is, but I'm gonna whoop his ass." Fark: The fellow passenger was also an air marshal   (flatoday.com) divider line 100
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17100 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Dec 2006 at 3:51 AM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2006-12-29 12:49:19 AM  
that's going to be a very expensive Jack and Coke
 
2006-12-29 01:05:19 AM  
Is there anyone on the plane who wasn't an air marshal?
 
C-J
2006-12-29 01:43:43 AM  
Kevin5280: Is there anyone on the plane who wasn't an air marshal?

probably the guy who got arrested
 
2006-12-29 02:02:03 AM  
So why'd he start slapping in the first place?
 
2006-12-29 02:03:28 AM  
Because apparently flying 1st class is like PMITA prison, and he didn't wanna be nobody's biatch.
 
2006-12-29 02:26:49 AM  
What guy *slaps* another guy anyway?

Pussy.
 
2006-12-29 03:03:42 AM  
You can take the asshole out of Florida....
 
2006-12-29 03:55:31 AM  
Well Solanthos, to quote Chralie Murphy: Its not acceptable for 2 men to slap one another, even back in the day when it was fasionable to do so, it was followed up with a gun fight, someone had to go.
 
2006-12-29 03:55:58 AM  
I knew it! I'm surrounded by Air Marshals!


Keep firing, Air Marshals!

/good is dumb.
 
2006-12-29 03:56:13 AM  
Let the thumping begin.
 
2006-12-29 03:58:30 AM  
PirateKing

"Air Marshal, sir. Major Air Marshal."
 
2006-12-29 04:04:19 AM  
I don't understand, if you slap an undercover air marshall the fine is up to $250,000 and TWENTY YEARS in a federal prison. I could understand if the guy in question was trying to down the plane, but he was just a drunk asshole that needed to be drug off the plane and beat with rubber hoses.
 
2006-12-29 04:04:47 AM  
just because he was an air marshal doesn't mean he couldn't be a dick.


but a slap?
 
2006-12-29 04:07:09 AM  
watchmesuck: "Air Marshal, sir. Major Air Marshal."

"He's an Air Marshal too, sir. Lieutenant Philip Air Marshal."
 
2006-12-29 04:07:56 AM  
Don't the shiny stars give them away?
 
2006-12-29 04:08:14 AM  
Wouldn't it be a better plan to have the Air Marshals distributed throughout the aircraft rather than sitting so close together?
 
2006-12-29 04:08:17 AM  
PirateKing: I knew it! I'm surrounded by Air Marshals!

MOAR SPACEBALLS QUOTES
 
2006-12-29 04:09:46 AM  
Andrew J. Kowalczyk was ordering Jack Daniels and Coke while in first class of the U.S. Airways flight that left from Reagan National Airport to Southwest Florida International Airport

Classy. Sounds like anything from anywhere to or from Orlando during peak Mickey Mouse season.
 
2006-12-29 04:10:36 AM  
Drunk who crosses highway median and kills a family of four: 12 years prison.
Drunk who slaps a total stranger who happens to be an Air Marshall: 20 years in prison.

Yep, the system still makes the same amount of sense it always has.
 
2006-12-29 04:13:15 AM  
PirateKing
Who made that man a gunner?

I did, sir. He's my cousin.

Who is he?

He's an Air Marshal, sir.

I know that. What's his name?

/Now I think I've taken this too far.
 
2006-12-29 04:14:29 AM  
And the air marshals get to fly 1st class? No wonder the airlines are going bankrupt left and right.

//Would add Spaceballs joke, but Andrew J. Kowalczyk just doesn't mesh with Lone Star.
 
2006-12-29 04:14:30 AM  
Part of the investigation will be an examination of the black box recorder.

The investigation will come to a standstill, however, when the researchers get to right now.

"We're looking at now, now."

"What happened to then?"

"We missed it."

"When?"

"Just now."
 
2006-12-29 04:16:04 AM  
A man who slaps other men Needs to spend some time in PMITA prison just so he can finally admit he is a homosexual
 
2006-12-29 04:17:47 AM  
"I don't know who this guy in front of me thinks he is, but I'm going to whoop his ass," the complaint states.

"Oh. That's all we needed, a Drewish princess."
 
2006-12-29 04:23:18 AM  
we can't track the slappy guy's plane on radar anymore.
why not?
the radar has been jammed, sir.
raspberry! nobody gives me the raspberry and gets away with it!
 
2006-12-29 04:23:42 AM  
watchmesuck: "Oh. That's all we needed, a Drewish princess."

Funny....


That's when Marshal Jeffery Boyer, who was sitting in front of him, "felt a sharp blow to the back of my head that knocked my head forward." -- TFA

"That's the guy who took our uniforms!"

"And beat the s**t out of us too!"
 
2006-12-29 04:24:28 AM  
I'm going to start telling people I'm not an Air Marshall, just to get them thinking I might be one undercover.
 
2006-12-29 04:25:44 AM  
We Are Marshal
 
2006-12-29 04:33:31 AM  
PirateKing
"That's the guy who took our uniforms!"

"And beat the s**t out of us too!"


HAHAHAHAHA

That's when Marshal Jeffery Boyer, who was sitting in front of him, "felt a sharp blow to the back of my head that knocked my head forward."

"What the hell are you doin'?"

"The Vulcan Neck Pinch."

"No, no, stupid, you've got it much too high. It's down here where the shoulder meets the neck."

*changes his hand position.*

"Like this?"

"Yeah... "
 
2006-12-29 04:33:49 AM  
im in ur plane
5lappin ur doodz
 
2006-12-29 04:37:00 AM  
Q & D
pirateking.net

/Not intended as a Bushwin of the thread.
 
2006-12-29 04:39:29 AM  
Kif_D:
And the air marshals get to fly 1st class? No wonder the airlines are going bankrupt left and right.

It should be obvious why Air Marshal's fly first class... I mean that's where the cabin door to the cockpit is after all... 9/11 anyone?
 
2006-12-29 04:40:23 AM  
Give the slapper the limp rubber chicken award for the attempted man-like DFU and ending up looking like a giant Flaming MOE in the process.


/we salute ye with our pinkys raised!
//now give the man his lace doily and strip him of any lingering man points.
///not a troll, I just play on on t.v.
 
2006-12-29 04:54:24 AM  
PirateKing: Part of the investigation will be an examination of the black box recorder.

The investigation will come to a standstill, however, when the researchers get to right now.

"We're looking at now, now."

"What happened to then?"

"We missed it."

"When?"

"Just now."


i92.photobucket.com
 
2006-12-29 04:56:37 AM  
The fine is UP TO twenty years.
Odds are, you have to REALLY screw up to get that kind of sentence.
The media always states the MAXIMUM penalty, even though very few ever get it.
 
2006-12-29 05:05:02 AM  
Oldiron_79
A man who slaps other men Needs to spend some time in PMITA prison just so he can finally admit he is a homosexual


"I'll bet he gives great helmet."
 
2006-12-29 05:06:37 AM  
I really look at flying as a sort of "anti-sanity" experiment anymore. After a ridiculous bunch of useless interrogations and scans performed by mindless turds, by all means lock me in a tube for 6 hours with some armed nitwits, a paranoid populace, and bunch of booze.

Christ. Just lock me in a jr high school gymnasium for 24 hours with a bunch of kids that have been secretly dosed with LSD. It's practically the same experience - except I probably won't get shot by the kids.
 
2006-12-29 05:10:17 AM  
Cocktails and Air Marshalls don't mix!
 
2006-12-29 05:13:08 AM  
Well there we have it, the end of terorism on domestic flights, good job "Air Marshalls"(nice title by the way, did that lose out to "In-Air Commandants"?), you just arrested a common drunk, I feel so much safer now. Did he also wave his non containing-peanut snack mix in an unsafe manner? I feel so much better about all my travel now. How much did this cost me to transport you to your mistress' hometown.
 
2006-12-29 05:15:50 AM  
For those of you who are retarded, "up to 20 years" is not the same as "20 years".
 
2006-12-29 05:16:49 AM  
That's when Marshal Jeffery Boyer, who was sitting in front of him, "felt a sharp blow to the back of my head that knocked my head forward."



"Are you all right, sir?"

"Fine. How've you been?"

"Fine, sir."

"Good."

"It's a good thing you were wearing that helmet."

"Yeah."

/taking a five minute break.
//smoke if you got 'em.
 
2006-12-29 05:17:38 AM  
"Who are you?!"

"Barf!!"

"Not in here Mister, this is a Rolls-Royce!"


/more useless SpaceBalls quotes after these messages.
 
2006-12-29 05:20:08 AM  
Yeah, keep going, Spaceballs is for kids on the short bus.
 
2006-12-29 05:23:14 AM  
Don't blame the liquor, the guy was on Ludicrous Speed..

/self applies golf clap
 
2006-12-29 05:29:09 AM  
henryhill

"Chew your gum."
 
2006-12-29 05:30:43 AM  
henryhill: Yeah, keep going, Spaceballs is for kids on the short bus.

Fat, ugly, Buck toothed, knock-kneed, beer swilling, horse-faced space dogs?
 
2006-12-29 05:38:31 AM  
So ... if I read that correctly, there was one air marshal sitting in front of the guy, and one air marshal sitting next to the guy. It didn't say what kind of plane it was (I suppose I could look it up if I wasn't so lazy (but you are lazy, right?) ((Ah, don't get me started!))), but ...

WTF is the point of having two air marshals on one plane sitting within arms reach of each other?!? That's some kind of good planning.
 
pla
2006-12-29 05:41:37 AM  
Satan_Himself : For those of you who are retarded, "up to 20 years" is not the same as "20 years".

And for those of you with no sense of proportion, a drunk guy slapped a random person (anyone else see the problem with a crime you can't know you've committed until after the fact?) and faces "up to" 20 years in federal prison.

This warrants a light fine and a few hours of community service. Not the effective end of a productive memeber of society's life (good luck keeping that 120k middle management job after five years in, with a felony record to boot, jack).

Also keep in mind that the amount of alcohol you can get on a plan won't get you sloshed - and even drunks don't generally just slap truly random people. Let's see, normal cops act like like total dicks, in general - Do you suppose air marshals may well continue that trend?
 
2006-12-29 05:44:25 AM  
henryhill: Yeah, keep going, Spaceballs is for kids on the short bus.

Listen. We're not just doing this for money. We're doing it for a shiat load of money!
 
2006-12-29 05:57:11 AM  
I don't think he should be prosecuted for assaulting a law officer, because that law officer was not identified.

Think of the entrapment possibilities.....
 
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