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(New Zealand Herald)   Ethiopia is predicting victory against Islamists in Somalia. Islamists plan to toss a sammich in the other direction to see if the Ethiopians will stop their attack to eat   ( divider line
    More: Unlikely  
•       •       •

2370 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Dec 2006 at 12:23 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

242 Comments     (+0 »)

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2006-12-27 09:34:04 AM  
Actually Ethiopian food is the bomb.

Injera bread with spicy lentils and lamb. The best

/lived in Adams Morgan, DC
2006-12-27 09:36:31 AM  
I haven't heard a good Ethiopian joke in years...
2006-12-27 09:44:36 AM  
I'll have to second that post about Ethiopian food. We're getting more and more immigrants here and the restaurants they open are awesome. Now if we could just get a decent Thai place...
2006-12-27 09:46:34 AM  
OlafTheBent: I haven't heard a good Ethiopian joke in years...

Posted this yesterday in a dying thread, so forgive me if you've read this one already:

Q. What do you call a bunch of Ethiopians carrying a canoe?

A. A comb.

/Window seat, please.
2006-12-27 09:47:26 AM  
El Dudereno

Thank God I live in one of the best areas for good ethnic food.

Outside of NYC, DC is the best. I can honestly say I have eaten at just about every ethnic restaurant from every different country. Its a real blessing.
2006-12-27 09:50:31 AM  
OlafTheBent: I haven't heard a good Ethiopian joke in years...

What's the best thing about getting head from an Ethiopian chick?

You know she'll swallow.
2006-12-27 09:52:50 AM  
Somalia is enjoying teh starvation at the moment.
submitter is off by around 20 years.
2006-12-27 10:04:57 AM  
OK I laughed a bit
2006-12-27 10:05:30 AM  
Ethiopians are cool. But Somali girls are teh HAWTNESS.

[image from too old to be available]

[image from too old to be available]

/Had a Somali girlfriend once, she still has a piece of my heart.
2006-12-27 10:05:47 AM  
vernonFL: Actually Ethiopian food is the bomb.

Yes there's nothing like an empty plate.

2006-12-27 10:17:35 AM  
vernonFL: Actually Ethiopian food is the bomb.

I went to an Ethiopian restaurant once. All they served was bags of rice with a red cross on them.
2006-12-27 10:59:23 AM  
Actually, the Ethiopians have one of the more experienced armies in the region. They've got a good chance of doing what they've set out to accomplish. What then? And who's backing them?
2006-12-27 11:21:28 AM  

Actually Ethiopian food is the bomb.

Injera bread with spicy lentils and lamb. The best

/lived in Adams Morgan, DC

Aww, yeah. Adams Morgan has some of the best Ethiopian places I've been to.

A few years back one opened up here in New Orleans for a few blessed months, but alas, it did not survive. I was eating there twice a week to try to keep the place open.
2006-12-27 12:06:12 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

That Ethiope cat makes,
everything he bakes.
Satisfying and nutricious!
Talk about your childhood wishes
You can even eat the dishes

No forks but hands from a masab
like some kooky slob

Hey there foxy waitress
could you slobber my knob?

Bam! Improv!

Mix me up another drink
cause this Candy Cat thinks
You'd make my world taste good.
My world taste good.
World taste good.
2006-12-27 12:27:26 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

/enter the suicide hotdog
2006-12-27 12:27:28 PM  
Don't mean to be cynical, but is a joke funny when you have to explain it?

/headline could be better
2006-12-27 12:27:46 PM  

1.of or pertaining to the religion, law, or civilization of Islam.
-noun adherent of Islam."

Also, Moslem, Muslem
2006-12-27 12:27:57 PM  
ethernopian food tastes like dirty diapers.

someone should also tell them about the fork.
2006-12-27 12:29:47 PM  
general marvin, reporting for duty:

[image from too old to be available]
2006-12-27 12:30:09 PM  
I fully support the defeat of islamist fundementalists.

Go Ethipoia!
2006-12-27 12:30:19 PM  
vernonFL - I've been to said restaurant in Adams Morgan. I wasn't that impressed. On the menu they described this one dish as "Kings use to eat this". My friend order the dish it was basically sloppy Joes. I guess in a place like Ethiopia, sloppy joes can be food for kings.

/Rather eat Indian food
/Indian food rocks my world
/seriously it does
2006-12-27 12:30:31 PM  
Only missing country in that conflict now is Eritrea .
2006-12-27 12:30:55 PM  
"Ethiopian food is the bomb"

The times I've had it, its been pretty good, but a couple of restaurants I eaten at, they seem to use too much butter. Wonder if that's actual Ethiopian food or just a sectional thing from a certain region.
2006-12-27 12:32:51 PM  
What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common?

They both live off of dead beatles! (Baduump)

Thank you and goodnight. I'm here all week!
2006-12-27 12:35:26 PM  
headline gets a -1.

some of the jokes in the thread, however, more than make up for it.

//farking loves ethiopian food
2006-12-27 12:35:36 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2006-12-27 12:36:05 PM  

That was beautiful.
[image from too old to be available]
2006-12-27 12:38:24 PM  
OlafTheBent: I haven't heard a good Ethiopian joke in years...

Sounds like you're starved for some Ethiopian humor.
2006-12-27 12:38:44 PM  
Actually Ethiopian food is the bomb.

What the fark do they eat? Sand flavored with dead flies?

/guessing you've never actually been to Ethiopia
2006-12-27 12:39:30 PM  

ethernopian food tastes like dirty diapers.

Dude!? You've eaten dirty diapers?
2006-12-27 12:40:06 PM  
vernonFL: Actually Ethiopian food is the bomb.

Great if you like fast food.
2006-12-27 12:41:05 PM  
Q: how many ethiopians can you fit into a bathtub?
A: i don't know, they keep slipping down the drain.

Q: what do ethiopians do at night?
A: starve.

Q: Do you know how to kill a hundered flies at once?
A: Smash an ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
2006-12-27 12:41:44 PM  
damn that was awesome submitter
2006-12-27 12:43:45 PM  
I work with a couple ethiopian chicks. They're pretty hot once they're americanized and fed with corn.
2006-12-27 12:47:20 PM  
Ethiopians.... Around here we call them cockroaches. They're all over the place and they're so damn annoying. The sound of their language, their women. Yuk.

My friend wanted to go to an Ethiopian restaurant once, but lets be real, what kind of cuisine can you really expect from a Habitually starving nation.....

//Also lives in DC...

//Not racist if you just hate one specific culture.
2006-12-27 12:47:47 PM  
wow i thought i was the only one who made horrible jokes about ethopians.
/fark is home!
2006-12-27 12:48:07 PM  
Is it hubris that I laughed a little when I read about Ethiopian planes bombing the Islamists?

I'm trying to picture this elite military force and their state-of-the-art Air Force.
2006-12-27 12:48:33 PM  
Just pinch your neck on both sides and ask:

-What's this?
-It's an Ethiopian choking on a grain of rice!
2006-12-27 12:50:52 PM  
Ethiopian food is great, but it ALWAYS gives me the shiats.

Am I alone in this?
2006-12-27 12:53:24 PM  
So...I take it everyone in this thread knows that most of Ethiopia is not desert, right?
2006-12-27 12:54:38 PM  

Ethiopians.... their women. Yuk.

To each their own brother. Personally I think that they are the best of both worlds.

The classic Caucasian features of a narrow nose and thin face combined with lovely cocoa skin. But their eyes are their strongest feature. They have soulful eyes that can burn right to your heart.

/Not to generalize too much, I am sure that there are ugly Ethiopians and Somalis, I just haven't seen any yet.
2006-12-27 12:55:19 PM  
Somalian food isn't too bad either. It's very similar to much of Ethiopian...
2006-12-27 12:55:35 PM  
Hollie Maea

I think all anybody here knows about Ethiopia is those commercials with little scrawny black kids with distended bellies covered in flies, and some bearded Christian dude begging for cash to feed them and teach them about Jesus.
2006-12-27 12:57:19 PM  

//Also lives in DC...

//Not racist if you just hate one specific culture.

Considering Ethiopia has many cultures, you might want to clarify.
2006-12-27 12:58:46 PM  
Hollie Maea

So...I take it everyone in this thread knows that most of Ethiopia is not desert, right?

Using this thread as a guide, I'd say that the average American knows virtually nothing about the region. Most of these schmucks probably didn't even know there was a war going on.
2006-12-27 12:59:32 PM  
The Ethiopian-Somalian War of 2006:

Warring factions:
1. Somaliland: the western part of the country, relatively stable, and has been de facto independent since 1991. They are backed by Ethiopia but are like Slovenia in the Yugoslavian wars, distance is their best friend.
2. Puntland: the central part of the country, relatively stable (but less so than Somaliland), and is openly supporting Ethiopia in this war. They wish to be an autonomous part of a functioning Somalia.
3. Somalian Government (don't laugh): A bunch of well-meaning types that have no army. They are the recognized government of Somalia and have the Somalian seat at the UN and were controlling some areas along the Ethiopian border.
4. Somali Warlords: They're about as bad news as they seem. They sold the US that they were "fighting terrorism" but in the process fought each other so much to the point that ordinary Somalians turned to the Islamic Courts Union for stability (akin to Afghans turning to the Taliban.) The Somali government is forced to use these guys as "muscle" and they are supporting Ethiopia.
5. Islamic Courts Union: Islamic group that has assumed de facto control of most of southern Somalia. They have started to take money from folks like Iran, the Saudis whose money funds terrorism, etc., and various foreign Islamic fighters have started showing up to help these guys out. While they have been saying moderate-sounding things over the past few months, we must remember that the Taliban said many similar things when they took over. I'm not sure how strong the moderates are in the ICU, or if there is a chance of open warfare flaring within it.
6. Various regional militias that seem to be supporting one side or the other.
7. Ethiopian Army: Their supply lines may be hampered by independence-seeking groups in the eastern part of Ethiopia. However they are by far the largest and most professional fighting force in the region. Meles Zenawi has become increasingly authortarian, but probably not yet as bad as Mengistu (Communist dictator that ruled for the 70s and 80s.) They are seeking to give the Somali government more room to bargain at the talks which are being held in Nairobi (I think) between the ICU and Somali government.
8. Eritrea: They won independence from Ethiopia in 1992 or thereabouts and are supporting the Islamic Courts Union. I think they have sent some soldiers.
9. African Union: Have issued a statement supporting Ethiopia's right to self-defense. May send peacekeepers, and its member states are more likely to intervene directly on the Ethiopian side.
10. Arab League: Has issued a statement denouncing Ethiopia's intervention. Somalia, I think, is technically a member. I don't think they'd openly send troops to intervene.
11. Kenya: Shares a long border with Somalia. Their army is probably -- has probably -- been on fairly high alert seeing as they border a well-known failed state.
12. Uganda: Has allegedly been sending troops in support of Ethiopia. They supported the anti-Kabila forces during the big Congo's civil war and are not shy about intervening (they supported the RPF forces that ended the Rwanda genocide.)
13. US: We've been on good terms with post-Mengistu Ethiopia. We seem to be skeptical about the Islamic Courts Union so we have been leaning towards Ethiopia -- it may be like the 1967 and 1973 Arab-Israeli Wars, where we forced the parties towards peace, but only after some of the Israeli goals has been met.
14. UN: Due to divisions among its members, has not yet been able to act with any authority.

The Ethiopian Army has been advancing fairly steadily and is going towards Mogadisho, although the Ethiopian government claims they have no desire to occupy Mogadisho. The ICU army is retreating in an orderly fashion and is probably preparing for a guerrilla war against the Ethiopians, whom they cannot possible hope to defeat in open battle. Ethiopia also has a large number of forces on the Eritrean border which they are unable to commit to the Somali campaign.
2006-12-27 12:59:53 PM  
Islamic fundamentalists in Somalia are fighting with Ethiopia? Clearly, this too must be because of the Jews and the existence of Israel...I'm not sure exactly how, so I'm waiting for Jimmy Carter to connect the dots!
2006-12-27 01:04:05 PM  
Headline would be funnier if Somalia had a single sammich to spare.

/yeah, gloom and doom
2006-12-27 01:07:53 PM  
2006-12-27 12:38:24 PM BrotherTheodore

OlafTheBent: I haven't heard a good Ethiopian joke in years...

I read the headline and I still haven't heard (seen) one.
2006-12-27 01:08:36 PM  
Mel Gibson may be able to assist. I wish to see Apocalypto, so I might find out our Jewish overlords were able to cause conflict in pre-Columbian Mayan civilization, as well.
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