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(   Husband & wife both want to "do the Dew." The problem, only one can of Mountain Dew left. Solution�   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
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19900 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jul 2002 at 10:14 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

43 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-07-24 08:35:16 PM  
Heh, brings to mind one of the MTDEW commercials where there are two boys fighting over one can of dew, and some older dude comes and takes it away.

"I think we got shafted"
2002-07-24 09:03:40 PM  
On first glance, I thought this read: Husband & wife both want to "do the Drew". (cue 70's pr0n music)
2002-07-24 10:12:59 PM  
Lucky it wasn't a bottle of Olde English. There would of been a homicide.
2002-07-24 10:18:47 PM  
Domestic abuse TO THE EXTREME!
2002-07-24 10:19:45 PM  
Pathetic site. It's already Farked at 258 visits.
2002-07-24 10:20:48 PM  
. . . make your own Mountain Dew: mix your own urine, battery acid, cocaine, and 4 cups of sugar.

Or not.
2002-07-24 10:20:57 PM  
Dew It

To It

Smack Dat Biatch
2002-07-24 10:21:48 PM  
Dispute Over Mountain Dew Leads To Assault
posted July 23, 2002
Here is the latest crime report from Bradley County:

Benton Pike, husband and wife auguring over a Mountain Dew, warrants taken for assault.
2002-07-24 10:22:52 PM  
I wish we had a site that listed all offenses in the county...good for gossip
2002-07-24 10:23:12 PM  
We got hosed, Tommy. We got hosed...
2002-07-24 10:23:41 PM  
Farked already, so what was the solution?
2002-07-24 10:24:13 PM  
I'm heading to Chattanooga! Land of the funny crime article.

Not sure which is funnier - the Dew Dispute or the fact that someone had $500 in quarters stolen from his house.

Also - did anyone else notice the little announcement near the bottom of the page. Pastor Mitch McClure is speaking on the topic, "The Guy Chasing You Wants To Make You Ugly".

LMAO - you can't make up stuff like this - too stupid.
2002-07-24 10:24:32 PM  
The site is already farked, so i'll assume the worst happened. She drank the dew and he ran her over with his rusted out chevy pickup and left her to die in the windshield. Close?
2002-07-24 10:26:21 PM  
Am I the only one who is familiar with Davey and Goliath?

Don't ask me why.
2002-07-24 10:26:23 PM  
Awesome headline.

Incidentally, the article says that they were "auguring" over the Dew... Guess this means they were drilling a well over a large natural deposit of Mountain Dew.

Wonder if he hit anything.

I mean, besides his wife.
2002-07-24 10:27:43 PM  
Oh here's all about Davey and Goliath.

If you know what it is, it adds to the funny of the Mountain Dew commercial.

Click here, heathens
2002-07-24 10:29:09 PM  
Well thank goodness they weren't sky diving
or mountain biking
or snowboarding
or doing other various other Xtreme Dew-related activities.
2002-07-24 10:31:09 PM  
Begoggle: I am somewhat ashamed to admit that I remember.
2002-07-24 10:34:03 PM  
Davey and Goliath was a childrens' television series produced by the Lutheran Church in the 1950s and 1960s and televised widely across the United States,  the Caribbean and around the world.

Damn you Lutheran propaganda! Damn you to hell!

Yeah, Begoggle I remember.

2002-07-24 10:36:28 PM  
the fark headline was more interesting/had more info then the actual article.
2002-07-24 10:36:55 PM  
OMG I used to live a few miles from there
2002-07-24 10:37:45 PM  
Mountain Dew, Code Dead
2002-07-24 10:38:57 PM  
why dont they just do what they do in those comercials
2002-07-24 10:39:42 PM  
the fark headline was more interesting/had more info then the actual article.

Happens alot.
2002-07-24 10:41:38 PM  

Here take mine!

[image from too old to be available]

2002-07-24 10:42:40 PM  
i was just thinking that today actually, the comments are invariably more entertaining than any article posted...rock on Farkers and Farkettes! y'all are keeping me sane...kinda.
2002-07-24 10:43:16 PM  
Begoggle: "Am I the only one who is familiar with Davey and Goliath?"

MadTV is familiar with them, their Davey and Son of Goliath shatch was absolutely hilarious.
2002-07-24 10:47:32 PM  
Khandi: Yeah, and I can never think of Davey and Goliath anymore without hearing Goliath saying "Davey! I thirst for more blood!" That claymation was almost as good as "Raging Rudolph."
2002-07-24 11:00:19 PM  
Begoggle: gosh darnit I spent YEARS forgetting that show....aahhhh
2002-07-24 11:00:35 PM  
I say cut the Dew in half, and the real mother would say "NOOOOO! Let him have the Dew!" You know, all Solomon and shiat.
2002-07-24 11:00:48 PM  
Remember the Gravey and Jobriath thing on Simpsons?
2002-07-24 11:21:33 PM  
man, where's the arcata eye when you need it? they know how to report the police blotter.
2002-07-24 11:23:39 PM  
Mountain Dew: nectar of the tards.
2002-07-24 11:45:41 PM  
07-24-02 10:24:13 PM

Also - did anyone else notice the little announcement near the bottom of the page. Pastor Mitch McClure is speaking on the topic, "The Guy Chasing You Wants To Make You Ugly".

Yeah, wtf is up with that? Is it a cautionary tale? A metaphor? Is Pastor Mitch smoking crack?
2002-07-24 11:46:37 PM  
141 to 144 curious minds want to know :-)
2002-07-25 12:32:16 AM  
Aliquis, and all other geographically challenged individuals: This did not happen in Chattanooga proper. In fact, it didn't even happen in the same county. It happened in Bradley County, a good 30 miles or more from Chattanooga, which is a pretty civilized place.
2002-07-25 02:42:13 AM  
I'd kick ass for the last one too, that's good stuff. Sure beats the shiAt out of coke, sprite or whatever.

Best sodas are as follows: Mt Dew, Pepsi, Vanilla Coke

Yep I think that's it.

The end
2002-07-25 02:47:31 AM  
Oh yeah and I do remember the old David and Goliath show, so that commercial is etreme hilarity. For those that don't know the show was very "pro-christian ethic" in nature. Thus adding humor to the commercial.

Oh yeah and Coke sucks

The end (again)
2002-07-25 03:15:09 AM  
Who visits this site daily?
Hooboy what a life you must have.
2002-07-25 08:02:30 AM  
Doesn't matter where it happened. Whoever wrote it should have their fingers removed to prevent further grammatical errors and generally poor writing such as was presented in that article.
2002-07-25 08:55:52 AM  
Is it just me, or was that entire page written in haiku?
2002-07-25 09:43:28 AM  
Heres a classic:

"Arrowhead Lane, man comes home intoxicated causing a dispute with his wife. "

This has been happening since the first cave man discovered fermented fruit become alchohol.
2002-07-25 11:04:58 AM  
Here's my favorite: Moore Road, mother and 15 year old daughter in a dispute.

That seems out of character for teenage girls.
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