I thought they misdirected all of Santa's letters to North Pole, Alaska.

Gig103,

Yes, asinine because they did their jobs.

No, the post office does have procedures for letters mailed to "Santa", "The North Pole", etc.

None of those involve returning it to sender.

The people at the post office farked up.

It's trivial, but it's still their fark-up.

So, the 4-year old went to the mailbox, read all of this, and went to her parents about it? Or did mom and dad get all huffy about it for her?

That kid should definitely shoot up the post office.

etoof,

Or did mom and dad get all huffy about it for her?

I'm guessing it's that one.

It was a stupid thing for the postal workers to do, but the parents shouldn't have made a big deal about it.

It certainly shouldn't have been publicized enough to make it to Fark.

Booooooooooo Hooooooooooo.

/Grinch

Hold on... I'm calling a Whaaaambulance.

Fark it, the kid needs to learn sooner or later that life ain't a box of chocolates.

SchlingFo: It certainly shouldn't have been publicized enough to make it to Fark.

Wouldn't this phrase cover about 80% of the things that make it here?

If the parents want the kid to believe in Santa Claus they should handle it themselves. The government should not be required to be complicit in their deception.

Undoubtedly, Newman's having an evil chuckle about this...

T'was then some farkers turned to Atheism in sanctuary

SchlingFo: It was a stupid thing for the postal workers to do, but the parents shouldn't have made a big deal about it.

Yeah, the easy and simple solution would have been to quietly render the returned letter to the trash can. The kid's none the wiser, and everyone has a Merry Christmas.

Waaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!

Oh my god, what a big deal.

This is a huge story. I hope the parents sue. How dare someone screw up!

2006-12-13 04:22:09 PM EvilEgg

They really should have stamped it "Recipiant Deceased" that would have been more fun.

Hah! Seconded!

I've read 2 articles on the subject. One said that the letters get sent to North Pole, Alaska and the other article said letters with the zip code H0 H0 H0 get sent to a town in Canada.

I'm tempted to try sending 2 letters and seeing from where I get responses.

That website sucks at teh english.

Good. It'll save the little bastard from a lot of heartache down the road.

yeah... I'm with the "It's asinine that the letter ever made it into the postage truck in the first place." croud. Take the letter from your kid, tell them you'll handle it. If they have a problem with that, tell them that you're just going to throw it away then.

Not here to get into a 'don't tell your kids santa is real' discussion. My 5 year old thinks santa is real and it's a cool thing around christmas time. I believed in santa and I'm only marginally farked up.

H0H 0H0

So the Post Office, a government organization otherwise known for bureaucracy and facelessness, goes the extra mile to help hundreds of thousands of kids mail stuff to Santa Claus; but when the screw up one time, they get this kind of negative "what about the children!" press?

Screw it. If the expectation is that they'll do this nice thing, and the only reaction is negative when they stop, why shouldn't they cancel it tomorrow?

/Don't look a gift horse in the mouth
//They have bad breath

The government should not be required to be complicit in their deception.

...under God.

Maxwell Powers:
If the parents want the kid to believe in Santa Claus they should handle it themselves. The government should not be required to be complicit in their deception.

/golf clap, sir - nicely done!

HA-HA!
stupid kids.

trappedspirit: Yes, because we all know that ignorance is bliss. Seriously. why some parents insist on perpetuating this falsehood to their kids is beyond belief.

Yeah, well, I didn't really have a problem with it when I was a kid. I figured it out on my own and actually felt like I was one-up on my parents after that.

Old as dirt, but so is everything else on Christmas.

/First thing I thought of.
//Thanks, ImageShack!

Bah, who sends letters to Santa anyways - e-mail Santa next time, kid.

/That's what my oldest does
//'Cept Santa sent the same g_ddamned e-mail 2 years in a row
///gonna hafta find a new Santa e-mail address

JC

trappedspirit
Um, what's the atheist version of "amen! Preach on brother!"?

Seriously, I agree. For generations, parents have been screwing up their children in many ways. One that doesn't really have to exist is the one where they lie to the child for years while completely aware that the child is eventually going to find out it was all a lie and then never trust them again.
/When I found out there was no Santa, it led to the discovery of no Easter Bunny, no Tooth Fairy, etc. Never trusted my parents again.
//I already knew there was no god before I found out about Santa.

I would actually let the kid drop it in the mailbox to give them a sense of worth. Telling them that "I'll handle it" cheapens the experience for the kid. If anything, the parents should have received the letter when it was returned then handled it appropriately. Or, better yet, if the kid got it and said "Hey mommy...", mommy should have probably made something up and said they put the wrong address on it or something. She's already lying about Santa...

That husband should not be letting his wife get away with going to the media about that.

GoSurfing: It's should say "Return to Sender, Insuffiencient Address, Where is your God now?".

Hehe... nice.

Santa's full address is
SANTA CLAUS
NORTH POLE
H0H 0H0
CANADA


So yes, technically, the address used was incomplete.
linky

/I think that makes Santa a Canadian resident, and given his length of time in Canada at that address, eligible for Canadian citizenship.

Amaranth
/When I found out there was no Santa, it led to the discovery of no Easter Bunny, no Tooth Fairy, etc. Never trusted my parents again.

You never trusted your parents again because they told you childhood stories? Wow, are you sure your dad didn't molest you and you are just metally blocking it out?

HalcyonGoddess
Priceless!
/What the F-!

(metally = mentally)

Non-story on a non-website. Earthtimes.org? Nice greenlight, boys. Nice.

Santa?!?
I've been sending my letters to Satan!

danm dsyxelia.

Amaranth: For generations, parents have been screwing up their children in many ways.

Yup, you'd know. Pretty dumb to say you never trusted your parents after they "dropped the Santa bomb" on you. Especially seeing as how you've, you know, grown up and all.

eedlef,

Wouldn't this phrase cover about 80% of the things that make it here?

Shush!! I have no use for logic this afternoon. Take it outside, buddy.

No, the post office does have procedures for letters mailed to "Santa", "The North Pole", etc.


Is that not ridiculous to anyone besides me? Why should they have a procedure for this? I wonder how much wasted time is spent on letters to someone everyone above the age of 7 knows does not exist?

Did someone read the news story about the grocery bagger who bagged canned food in the same bag as the bread???

/subby says, "Now THATS an article worth posting!"

the post office does have procedures for letters mailed to "Santa", "The North Pole", etc.

None of those involve returning it to sender.

What exactly are the alleged procedures?

I'm guessing they dump it in the trash. (What else *can* they do with mail that is obviously undeliverable, besides return it to the sender?)

Since when did USPS care about properly addressed mail? I thought they just delivered mail and packages randomly.

EvilEgg: They really should have stamped it "Recipiant Deceased" that would have been more fun.

Thirded. Plus that Perry Bible Fellowship comic's hilarious.

I want to be the guy who has to "dispose" of all the letters to santa.

Yes, because we all know that ignorance is bliss. Seriously. why some parents insist on perpetuating this falsehood to their kids is beyond belief.

I love it when armchair intellectuals get their black turtlenecks in a twist every year over this. Going along with the Santa thing to your small children is not "perpetuating a falsehood" any more than leaving a quarter under their pillow for a tooth, or setting an extra plate at dinner for their new teddy bear.

Now, I agree with folks who think one shouldn't actually mail letters to Santa; the parents should ideally just pretend to do so and not stick the postal workers with the load. However, anything that encourages children to use their imaginations in a harmless way just doesn't bother me.

lilplatinum
Yeah, I'm sure. You see; I was raised to believe my parents when they told me stuff. They started out very well with "The stove is hot, it will hurt if you touch it while it's on" which was backed up when I touched it while it was on and it hurt.
Now I'm not saying that it was the "childhood stories" that messed it up, it was the fact that certain stories were presented as true rather than not. When my mom read me children's books, she would often assure me that it was just a story and not real. But then she goes and tells me the Santa story is as real as getting burned by a hot stove? That's not a children's story anymore, now it's a bald faced lie. And when I found out about it, I realized that I had been fed this lie as the truth for my entire life (which was about 6 years at that point, but it seems like a long time to a 6 year old).
This revelation brought into question everything my parents had ever told me was true that I hadn't experienced for myself. And if you can't trust your own parents, who can your trust?

So when my parents said "Don't have sex, it's not worth it" guess how I handled that? and sure enough, they were lying again. This did manage to bite me with my father's "don't get married, you'll regret it" which turned out to be true.

But yeah, lie to your kids enough times and they'll stop trusting you. Why lie more than you need to? What would constitute need? Stop farking lying to your kids!
/I learned it from you dad! I learned it from watching you!

gradatim,

What exactly are the alleged procedures?

I'm guessing they dump it in the trash. (What else *can* they do with mail that is obviously undeliverable, besides return it to the sender?)

In most cities, they deliver the letters to local charities and/or volunteer organizations. The USPS allows the individual post offices to decide who will receive the letters. Some post offices allow the postal workers to answer the letters themselves.

The charities and volunteers will respond back to the letters as Santa and/or his elves. In some of the letters where the kid sounds needy, some of the charities will even try to get the kid a gift for Christmas.

It's pretty cool :)

It's all about Jesus this time of year. Anyone who tells their kids otherwise is going to hell. It's as simple as that. So I hope this whole family rots in the afterlife. It would serve them right.

MadAfro
anything that encourages children to use their imaginations in a harmless way just doesn't bother me.

No kiddin, my life isn't in the shiatter now because I found out the truth about Santa. It was fun to believe in.

No, the post office does have procedures for letters mailed to "Santa", "The North Pole", etc. None of those involve returning it to sender. The people at the post office farked up. It's trivial, but it's still their fark-up.

i keyed mail for the post office for two years (and two ugly Christmases) and SchlingFo is right. looks like someone didn't get the memo posted to their terminal on how to key Santa Mail.

srhp29: this is not ridiculous. it goes to a post office in North Pole, Alaska, zip code 99705. all that needs to be entered is the zip code, even if the address on the envelope is "Santa Claus". the post office knows what to expect at this time of year and provisions are made. these letters are not trash. someone spent 39-cents to make sure their kid has a fun memory of Christmas before reality sets in. i take it you never wrote a letter to Santa? did your parents lock you in the cellar for Christmas or what?

i remember keying letters to Santa as late as March. pitiful. i also remember coming in on New Years Day hungover as HELL and suffered for eight hours at my computer, thinking i'd only be there for two.

I love the bitter taste of broken hearted disilliusioned 4-year olds so I approve of this.

/wishes he coulda seen the letter as the kid recieved it
//laughing evilly
///will continue laughing for days as I think about it

Since when did USPS care about properly addressed mail? I thought they just delivered mail and packages randomly.



Closest i've come to spitting out soda laughing this month

don't know about that market, but here the reporters are trawling for Christmas Grinch stories ie: did someone steal you christmas ornaments? contact us.

directed outrage mfg by lazy reporters... so the parents may have done what they did at The Tennessean and just fill out details for the pre-written outrage story.

Amaranth


One that doesn't really have to exist is the one where they lie to the child for years while completely aware that the child is eventually going to find out it was all a lie and then never trust them again.
/When I found out there was no Santa, it led to the discovery of no Easter Bunny, no Tooth Fairy, etc. Never trusted my parents again.


That is, quite frankly, pathetic.

Actually, pathetic doesn't quite describe the level of contempt and derision that I feel.

Ah forget it, I'll just call a Whambulance.

A 4 year old knows the word "ironic"? Man, what do they put in the water out there in Ill.?

Amaranth

Kids are going to not listen to their parents as teenagers regardless of what they were told as kids. Let the kids believe in their imaginary bullshiat for a few years before they are forced to open their eyes to the cruel monotony of the world. My parents fed me the Santa, Easter Bunny, and God lies - and they didn't do it out of malice. But thats not the reason I took lots of intoxicants and chased around strange when I was a teenager.

MadAfro
I love it when armchair intellectuals get their black turtlenecks in a twist every year over this. Going along with the Santa thing to your small children is not "perpetuating a falsehood" any more than leaving a quarter under their pillow for a tooth, or setting an extra plate at dinner for their new teddy bear.
Which means you agree that going along with the Santa thing is both "perpetuating a falsehood" and "deliberately lying to your children when you known damn well they're going to catch you eventually" right?
Why not just give the kid a quarter for the tooth and tell them that you're doing it because you understand that this was both painful and a sign of their maturation? Say "good for you" or "I'm proud of how you handled that" or something, assuming those things are true.
Why not say "We can have a plate for your teddy bear, but you're going to have to acknowledge that the bear is toy and so it doesn't get food on it's plate." Kids pretend, it's fun. Doesn't need to get out of hand though. I talked to my toys. When I was asked if the toys talked back I said "No, they're just toys. I'm pretending!". Knowing I was pretending didn't make it any less fun.

Looks like this kid got a real UFIA.

(Unable to Forward: Insufficient Address)

Just keep lying to your kids, even when they are in doubt and they ask you if Santa is real, just say 'yes, he watches you sleep at night and if your bad you'll get a pile of dog doo doo under the tree', then reaffirm it by actually putting dog poo under the tree that year, then tell your kid "he did it cuz you doubted him".

So don't show the kid the returned letter.

There. Problem solved.

trappedspirit: Yes, because we all know that ignorance is bliss. Seriously. why some parents insist on perpetuating this falsehood to their kids is beyond belief.


Yeah, I still haven't forgiven my parents for perpetuating this LIE to me when I was a kid. I'll probably never speak to them again.

after reading these posts:

i'm curious if there is anything aside from beer, boobs, trying to prove others wrong and schadenfreude that bring you sons of b*tches any joy. jesus christ. what a f*cking RANK existence you all have.

lilplatinum
No, of course it wasn't. But I assert that it was one of many many contributing factors.
I also assert that if parents didn't lie to their children "for fun" that those children would listen a hell of a lot more when they hit their teens because they could honestly say to themselves "Well they've always been upfront with me before" and maybe that would make an impact at a critical moment.
As a teenager, if I had asked if you believed that your parents told you things to inform you of the truth or to get you to obey, what would you have said? To take the false dichotomy out that, which would you say happened more often with things that you considered "might be really fun"?

I'm glad I believed in Santa when I was a kid. There was one girl in my 3rd grade class who didn't believe in Santa, and she was already jaded and bitter.

When I was little there was a special mail box set up by the police station where I would drop my letter to Santa off. My mom never would have let me just throw it in the USPS mailbox.

/I milked that Santa thing way too long but still got double presents (well, half/half I suppose).
//I wonder if there's a different procedure for the Easter Bunny...

this is not ridiculous. it goes to a post office in North Pole, Alaska, zip code 99705

Why does the USPS hate children? Or, more correctly, why does everything have to be American?

"North Pole, Alaska 99705" is a town in Alaska. Not Santa's workshop!!!

Everyone knows that The North Pole is in Canada (at least currently).

The correct address for Santa is:

SANTA CLAUS
NORTH POLE
H0H 0H0
CANADA

2006-12-13 06:06:33 PM Amaranth

What a sad life you have. I hope you don't have kids, Mr. Serious Nofunsky.

H0H 0H0 is right, but it doesn't go to a "town in canada", those letters get processed by volunteer postal workers who will print out a nice canned letter and send it back to the kid

more infos here

trappedspirit: I think you need counseling.

sarcasm?

They didn't deliver because he doesn't exist. They couldn't deliver it.

Well, you know, when it's written in crayon, says "Sanda Kaws, Norf Poel" and nothing else, I think I'd be confused too...

asmodeus224: I love the bitter taste of broken hearted disilliusioned 4-year olds so I approve of this.

Do you eat a lot of disillusioned 4-year olds?

trappedspirit
I think jagstang was being sarcastic.

Seriously. I love my parents. I just don't trust things they say. Because they lie. Alot. About important things too, not just fat red annual intruders. (heh, I typed that as "fat red anal intruders" on the first try)
I just remember catching my dad planting presents and him trying to lie his way out of it. I remember it took days after that for them to come clean, and then they tried to perpetuate the same lie the next year. I remember this setting of a chain reaction of curiosity about everything else they'd told me was real but I hadn't been able to prove.

they deliver the letters to local charities ... Some post offices allow the postal workers to answer the letters themselves.

The charities and volunteers will respond back to the letters as Santa and/or his elves.

Now that is cool.

It's amazing how much people will defend their right to take all the fun out of childhood.

no Santa for you.

Not Yours!

Well, a helluva lotta mail is automated now...

That said, if it had gotten to my dad, he would have forwarded on to a place that does answer kids Xmas letters...


But he's a dinosaur in a vast hall of souless machines and "casual" (temporary) employees hired for the Holidays at USPS.

The charities and volunteers will respond back to the letters as Santa and/or his elves.


the potential for mischief would be unbearable.

I seriously equate fond childhood memories with Santa Claus and Christmas.

I'm a loon like that, yes.

trappedspirit

It's amazing how much people will defend their right to screw with the minds of developing children.

It certainly is.

/pot, meet kettle... kettle, pot

trappedspirit: Why would they be lying about that adult film. Oh...wait...you said annual. Sorry misread that.

...and my faith in your sense of humor is restored!

Devin172

Yeah parents should lie to their children and the children should then, in turn, not remember said lie.

Santa, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, ect. are the ultimate heros of awesome to youth. Kids love those "people" probably more than their parents (did your parents own a toy factory ?). Once a child learns it's all a lie how should they react? You literally just killed their favorite "people" in the world. It's like telling someone you love them and on the day of your marriage saying, "Just kidding" and expecting them to not care. Their farking kids, there is enough evil in the world that they don't need to be lied to by their caretakers.

Apparently, Christmas are serious business for a lot of people.

Myself, I'm just glad my parents let me believe, if only for a little while, that there was magical man who made presents appear under the tree one day a year.

It was a blast :)

Insensitive little dirt bags on fark? Who knew?

Sheesh... my parents didn't *insist* that Santa was real, it was more of "You'd better be good or Santa won't bring you presents," said with a wink. He was along the lines of unicorns and elves and crap... I wanted them to exist, but deep down knew they didn't, and eventually grew out of it.

In most cities, they deliver the letters to local charities and/or volunteer organizations. The USPS allows the individual post offices to decide who will receive the letters. Some post offices allow the postal workers to answer the letters themselves.

The charities and volunteers will respond back to the letters as Santa and/or his elves. In some of the letters where the kid sounds needy, some of the charities will even try to get the kid a gift for Christmas.

But isn't it a Major No-No to open mail that's not addressed to you? Or do they make an exception for fictional entities? Would some creepy postal worker write back if I addressed a letter to another fictional entity, such as the Easter Bunny?

trappedspirit


This would make sense if...uh...sorry I can't see any way.

Surely someone as intellectually superior as you can see what I'm trying to say... can't you?

I thought the North Pole had melted from global warming. Maybe they just couldn't find the address on the addressed ice floe.

I fails at teh /b tag :( Sorry.

Do you have any kids, trappedspirit?

Be sure and eat the cookies too.

I do! The tooth fairy is up to $5/gap. One St. Patty's day I even let the kids try to catch a leprechaun with a trap they had made, only to wake up and find some chocolate gold coins and note that said they were clever, but not clever enough to catch one.

And somehow, as adults, they still trust me! Imagine!

Well, as much as I like using you all as free therapy, I have to go now. See ya.
/Your emotions are tasty. Be sure to leave some for Satan next week.

I'm a muslim postal worker in Elgin, IL and I must say I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

Well, if you're in Canada, and you mail a letter to Santa by a certain date, there are university students that will answer each letter.

That's why the postal code is important.

/my friend did that one year
//she's now sick of Santa letters

gradatim,

But isn't it a Major No-No to open mail that's not addressed to you? Or do they make an exception for fictional entities? Would some creepy postal worker write back if I addressed a letter to another fictional entity, such as the Easter Bunny?

They make an exception for Santa. I honestly don't know about the Easter Bunny or Mr. Hanky :)

Tough shiat; serves the little biatch right for expecting something for nothing. farking Commie.

They should forward all misdirected Santa mail to God or the Easter Bunny. Either of them could surely get it to Santa.

2006-12-13 06:50:59 PM trappedspirit

Storks bring the babies, not Santa, silly.

Having parents who never tried to convince me that Santa was real, I dont really understand the point..

theknuckler_33: do you tell your kids that there's no such thing as superman or the lone ranger or all the other farking myths that kids love to buy in to?

You tell your kids that? Telling your kids that Superman is real will get them a beatdown on the playground, for sure.

I mean seriously, why don't you tell your kids that the Force is real, as well?

Trying to convince your kids that Santa is real is about the same as trying to convince them that god is real.. whoops.

poonie
I hope they review those. As a baked college student I hesitate to think what I may have written to a four year old kid.

"No Christmas for you, I checked the list, you have been bad. Maybe if you leave out some magic brownies for me on Christmas eve night, I will forgive you."

That would probably be what I would have written in such a situation.

I work for Santa so, as you can imagine, I'm really getting a kick out of some of these posts.

First of all, Haven't you people ever wondered why you get so much coal every Christmas? Looks like this year's not going to be any different.

Also, we don't accept letters. Santa likes kids to talk to him personally while sitting on his lap. In fact, they don't even have to talk.

Uncle Karl

I hope they review those. As a baked college student I hesitate to think what I may have written to a four year old kid.

They make pretty good money. I believe it's above $10 for basically what's a form letter.

theknuckler_33: For all you farkers who are complaining about perpetuating the Santa myth, you either have no children, or you have no heart. what the hell is the matter with a little santa at christmas time?

I disagree. My parents had a tree and presents and all that, but they didn't make up an old perv visiting my home while I was asleep. They told me it was a celebration of Jesus and his teachings of love, and so people gave gifts to one another. That was better than Santa.

Is it wrong for me to be laughing right now?

St. Nicolas' tomb, in the Basilica di San Nicola in Bari.

Envelope:

SANTA CLAUS
NORTH POLE

Inside:

* * * powder * * *

"Dear Santa,

YUO GOT TEH ANTHRAX MOTHAFARKA LOL!!!1"

EMPulse_of_KC
Good one man...So Funny I Really LOL.

EdgeRunner

C'mon, trappedspirit. Fess up. Why so bitter that small children believe in Santa Claus? There's got to be a great story in there somewhere.


Santa worked his big hard white-pube-covered cock in my mouth when I was a small boy. He smelled of cocoa.


there. happy ?


/no, you can't unread it.

EMPulse_of_KC: Envelope:

SANTA CLAUS
NORTH POLE

Inside:

* * * powder * * *

"Dear Santa,

YUO GOT TEH ANTHRAX MOTHAFARKA LOL!!!1"

LOL, but you forgot to add:

Death to elves
Death to the North Pole
God is great.

Santa Claus
North Pole

inside

Dear Postal Drone,

Stop reading Santa's mail.

Santa Claus: Why should Jesus be the the only lie you tell your kids?

theknuckler_33

For all you farkers who are complaining about perpetuating the Santa myth, you either have no children, or you have no heart. what the hell is the matter with a little santa at christmas time? jebus Christmas, can't you take your cynical attitude and put it in the closet once in a while? do you tell your kids that there's no such thing as superman or the lone ranger or all the other farking myths that kids love to buy in to? for God's sake, let kids be kids. Assholes.

Quite possibly the best post I've read in the last 6 months on Fark.

What kind of idiot parent lets a kid put the letter to santa claus in the mail? How are you supposed to find out what they want?

well, wtf do you expect??

S. Claus and Co.
North Pole

To Whom It May Concern:

It seems that last year, my request for an X-Box 360 was misunderstood, and I received a lump of coal instead. Please ensure that my request for a PS3 is met in a timely fashion or THERE WILL BE HELL TO PAY!!!!!!

Warmest Regards,
Some Spoiled B@stard


/DRTFA
//Merry Christmas
///I believe in Santa Claus

So...all letters to Santa, God, the Easter Bunny, the female orgasm and other fictional entities go to a dead letter office. They stack up there, but because of some blue law, they can't destroy them.

Some guy at the post office farked up...and some editor thinks it's funny, so it's getting some mileage...

What trauma doth Santa inflict upon the poor, fragile children!

Santa once touched me in my special place...

I'm in yur pozt offise, burstin yer bubble

What did the post office do with all of my letters to Godzilla, Scooby Doo and Jesus?

trappedspirit

You must be a blast at parties.

dbaggins /no, you can't unread it.

LMAO.....oh dear god...so funny...can't breathe.....need mind bleach.....

theknuckler_33: I don't tell them that superman is real, but I don't go out of my way to tell them its BS either. I'll let them figure it out on their own without squashing any temporary enjoyment they might have believing its real while they are young. If my kid is 15 and believes superman is real, he deserves a beat down. If he's 5, not so much... which is the age group of kids who still believe in santa. Get over your cynical self and let the kid enjoy santa while it lasts.


I think the issue here is howmuch the parents actively engage in fruad on their kids about Santa. They pick on Santa, and believe in it, fine. but the whole head trip parents play on them....

"Santa's coming tonight! oh look what Santa left you!

My future kids are going to hate the fark out of me when I tell them the truth. I'm going for a strict no illusion upbringing.

The funny thing about those "Santa and baby Jesus" statuettes is that they imply that Santa is more immortal and more eternal and powerful than Jesus, as he was an old man when Jesus was born, and he's the same old man now, long after Jesus is a no-show on the resurrection front.

I'll send a virtual kiss to the first person to post a legitimate, marketed "Santa on the cross, dying for your sins" statuette/figurine.

/VIRTUAL kiss

Geez, Merry Christmas to all anyway...

Dear Editor,

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, "If you see it in The Sun, it's so." Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O'Hanlon

-----

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! How dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! He lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!!

Even better!!!!

I never told my kid that Santa Claus is real. I also followed up with the disclaimer statement that she isn't allowed to tell anyone that he isn't real because some parents use Santa as a way to get their kids to behave.

/don misbehave

stupid kids. You put "Santa Claus, North Pole" as the RETURN address, then drop it in the mail with no postage. Return to sender? STRAIGHT TO SANTA, BAY-BEE!!!! For *FREE*!

/sheesh, do I have to tell you guys EVERYTHING?

srhp29: Is that not ridiculous to anyone besides me? Why should they have a procedure for this? I wonder how much wasted time is spent on letters to someone everyone above the age of 7 knows does not exist?

DIAF you farking moron. One out of every 50,000 pieces of mail might be addressed to Santa and that's only during one month out of the year.

theknuckler_33
She was three or four when I had to spell it out for her; it became a discussion. I never put him in the context of reality. She dressed up as Santa and took a picture with a Santa on her first Christmas. Of course she was six weeks old and remembers nothing, but showing her (the picture) that she was Santa helped out. She understood that it's just a suit and a story, but it's a good story, real or not. She still enjoys Christmas as much as the kids that think he's real. Maybe a little more because she isn't pressured to be artificially well-behaved.

What really pisses me off about people is that they didn't have a problem believing in Santa when they were a child but now that they're grown up they don't think that anybody else should get to experience that sense of joy.

If you hold this opinion I really hope you stick a gun in your mouth and end your pathetic life.

Good for the USPS! Why should they be involved with lying to a kid?

Check the Christmas one. It's perfect for this discussion.

Site and contents NSFW for language.

/Training Christ indeed.

Must be a slow news day.

Good, why shant we all dispose of the lies parents tell their children?

This thread is full of grinches.

I sent an email to Santa and the damn Postmaster keeps saying it's undeliverable.

This just in: The only way to "let kids be kids" is to expect them to handle everything like an adult.

When I was younger, it was less about "Santa" and more about "Santa presents." That is, the super big colossal cool shiat that was left wide open by the tree in the morning, complete with filled stockings.

All it took was Mom's reaction to know who put it there.

One year there was no Santa present, and I asked my mom about it. She just said "no more Santa presents." I shrugged and said thanks for all the other gifts.

/I will do the same to my son.
//Surely, he will bomb an abortion clinic because of it.

Damn, Canada Post actually has an official address for Santa:

Santa Claus
North Pole
Canada
HOH OHO

Most of the letters come to Santa Claus, IN where Santa's Elves make sure all of them get answered.

Here's a link to them if you want to find out more or send an email to Santa Yourself:

http://www.santaclausmuseum.org/FLFS%20Pages/Welcome.htm

Have Fun

Paul

Wow, some of you people keep grudges a long time. I believed in Santa for a while, and then I realized he was a convenient story and I kept my mouth shut cause I knew a good thing when I saw it. And then eventually it came out in the open, but it didn't really matter. I certainly didn't have any trauma over it or anything.

Well, I told my nephews that Santa only gives a fark about you for as long as you believe, and that's why grownups have to buy gifts for each other... They don't believe anymore, so no gifts from Santa.

When I was little, my mother knew I had a wild imagination. I was convinced that all manner of mythical things existed (Thanks, Irish heritage!), but Santa always seemed like a ... I don't know, I guess the closest thing I can think ot is broken story to me. I believed more in fairies and the wee folk than Santa, and my parents never really said anything about it either way.

When I asked is Santa was real, they said that he was until the very second I wasn't sure anymore. And looking back, they weren't lying. Imaginary friends and siblings that children often have are EXTREMELY real to them when they believe, and only seem silly when they don't believe anymore.

Maybe I'm just sentimental. I'm going to tell all manner of fictional stories to my children, and when they're older and stop believing, maybe they'll still have fond memories, as I do. If they become so cynical and jaded, I'm sure that Santa wasn't the only factor, and it will mean I had been a bad parent.

He he, it's kinda gratifying to know when you comment that someone's going to reply to you. It's like a reverse troll!

I grew up without the lie of Santa, the tooth fairy, easter bunny and all that. I did not turn out freaky. I did not have resentments for it either. It's a stupid lie to tell kids. Especially when they figure it out and you still play stupid.

"When did I stop believing in Santa Claus? In truth, this sort of silly question holds no real significance for me. However, if you were to ask me when I stopped believing that the old man wearing the red costume was Santa, then I can confidently say: I have never believed in Santa, ever. I knew that the Santa who appeared at my preschool Christmas party was a fraud, and now that I think about it, every one of my classmates shared the same look of disbelief watching our teacher pretend to be Santa. Although I had never seen my mom kiss Santa Claus, I was already wise enough to be suspicious about the existence of an old man who worked only on Christmas Eve."

/Obscure?
//nyono~n

As a postal worker who also plays Santa, I'm in a no win situation. I don't exist. But I have to go to work anyway.

Bah. It isn't believing or not believing in Santa that messes kids up. There are plenty of other ways for parents to do that which have nothing to do with fairy tales.

People need to relax. No one is 'sick' or should kill themselves for thinking one way or another about ol' Chris Kringle.

It's amazing that this thread got more of a flamewar going than the Jack Kervorkian thread. I had no idea that resentments over the Santa Claus story ran so deep.

/The more you know...

I believed in Santa, but my parents never presented the Easter Bunny as "real". I just assumed the Easter Bunny was a marketing ploy for chocolate eggs. I believed in the tooth fairy though.

I tricked my mother into admitting Santa wasn't real. No big deal. It was a fun ride.

Idiot parents, everyone knows that Santa lives in Lapland!

recently saw this short movie at a Finnish film festival - Rare Exports Inc.

farkin hilarious - here's parts one and two.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JIz7I5yzwQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mc8HU-isRUw

trappedspirit

You folk are sick to the core.

Is this the point that I get to mention that sanity is nothing more than the prevailing opinion of the majority?

I've already got this all worked out. When I have kids, on Christmas eve when I'm sneaking the presents under the tree, I'll have a red sack and santa hat on hand. When my kids burst in unexpectedly, I'll have my reply ready:

"Yes, it's true. I am Santa Claus. Now I must be off to deliver presents to other children all over the world."