Well, a helluva lotta mail is automated now...

That said, if it had gotten to my dad, he would have forwarded on to a place that does answer kids Xmas letters...


But he's a dinosaur in a vast hall of souless machines and "casual" (temporary) employees hired for the Holidays at USPS.

The charities and volunteers will respond back to the letters as Santa and/or his elves.


the potential for mischief would be unbearable.

I seriously equate fond childhood memories with Santa Claus and Christmas.

I'm a loon like that, yes.

Amaranth:

About important things too, not just fat red annual intruders.

Why would they be lying about that adult film. Oh...wait...you said annual. Sorry misread that.

Soup4Bonnie:

I seriously equate fond childhood memories with Santa Claus and Christmas.

Yes, you were indoctrinated early. And that's why most people keep lying to their children.
Be sure and eat the cookies too.

trappedspirit

It's amazing how much people will defend their right to screw with the minds of developing children.

It certainly is.

/pot, meet kettle... kettle, pot

trappedspirit: Why would they be lying about that adult film. Oh...wait...you said annual. Sorry misread that.

...and my faith in your sense of humor is restored!

Devin172

Yeah parents should lie to their children and the children should then, in turn, not remember said lie.

Santa, the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, ect. are the ultimate heros of awesome to youth. Kids love those "people" probably more than their parents (did your parents own a toy factory ?). Once a child learns it's all a lie how should they react? You literally just killed their favorite "people" in the world. It's like telling someone you love them and on the day of your marriage saying, "Just kidding" and expecting them to not care. Their farking kids, there is enough evil in the world that they don't need to be lied to by their caretakers.

cerberus9:

It certainly is.

/pot, meet kettle... kettle, pot

This would make sense if...uh...sorry I can't see any way.

Apparently, Christmas are serious business for a lot of people.

Myself, I'm just glad my parents let me believe, if only for a little while, that there was magical man who made presents appear under the tree one day a year.

It was a blast :)

Insensitive little dirt bags on fark? Who knew?

Sheesh... my parents didn't *insist* that Santa was real, it was more of "You'd better be good or Santa won't bring you presents," said with a wink. He was along the lines of unicorns and elves and crap... I wanted them to exist, but deep down knew they didn't, and eventually grew out of it.

In most cities, they deliver the letters to local charities and/or volunteer organizations. The USPS allows the individual post offices to decide who will receive the letters. Some post offices allow the postal workers to answer the letters themselves.

The charities and volunteers will respond back to the letters as Santa and/or his elves. In some of the letters where the kid sounds needy, some of the charities will even try to get the kid a gift for Christmas.

But isn't it a Major No-No to open mail that's not addressed to you? Or do they make an exception for fictional entities? Would some creepy postal worker write back if I addressed a letter to another fictional entity, such as the Easter Bunny?

trappedspirit


This would make sense if...uh...sorry I can't see any way.

Surely someone as intellectually superior as you can see what I'm trying to say... can't you?

I thought the North Pole had melted from global warming. Maybe they just couldn't find the address on the addressed ice floe.

I fails at teh /b tag :( Sorry.

Do you have any kids, trappedspirit?

Be sure and eat the cookies too.

I do! The tooth fairy is up to $5/gap. One St. Patty's day I even let the kids try to catch a leprechaun with a trap they had made, only to wake up and find some chocolate gold coins and note that said they were clever, but not clever enough to catch one.

And somehow, as adults, they still trust me! Imagine!

Well, as much as I like using you all as free therapy, I have to go now. See ya.
/Your emotions are tasty. Be sure to leave some for Satan next week.

I'm thrilled to hear that some people had fun with the Santa lie. I'm sure it prepared them for many other wacky mythologies. Just don't get all hot under the collar just because someone would like to throw a little reality in here.

If you say to your children, each year we are going to pretend that blah blah blah. There is a difference between that and leaving that bit out. When kids pretend with one another, they usually start off with that, "Let's pretend that..." Most parents that I have ever known can't seem to tell the difference. Or don't want to.

Either way. Have a Merry Christmas!!

/liars

cerberus9:

Surely someone as intellectually superior as you can see what I'm trying to say... can't you?

What is this? Persecute the intellectually superior day?!?!

I'm a muslim postal worker in Elgin, IL and I must say I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

Well, if you're in Canada, and you mail a letter to Santa by a certain date, there are university students that will answer each letter.

That's why the postal code is important.

/my friend did that one year
//she's now sick of Santa letters

gradatim,

But isn't it a Major No-No to open mail that's not addressed to you? Or do they make an exception for fictional entities? Would some creepy postal worker write back if I addressed a letter to another fictional entity, such as the Easter Bunny?

They make an exception for Santa. I honestly don't know about the Easter Bunny or Mr. Hanky :)

Tough shiat; serves the little biatch right for expecting something for nothing. farking Commie.

This is what your culture breeds...



/Live it! Or live with it!!

They should forward all misdirected Santa mail to God or the Easter Bunny. Either of them could surely get it to Santa.

For all you farkers who are complaining about perpetuating the Santa myth, you either have no children, or you have no heart. what the hell is the matter with a little santa at christmas time? jebus Christmas, can't you take your cynical attitude and put it in the closet once in a while? do you tell your kids that there's no such thing as superman or the lone ranger or all the other farking myths that kids love to buy in to? for God's sake, let kids be kids. Assholes.

2006-12-13 06:50:59 PM trappedspirit

Storks bring the babies, not Santa, silly.

Having parents who never tried to convince me that Santa was real, I dont really understand the point..

theknuckler_33: do you tell your kids that there's no such thing as superman or the lone ranger or all the other farking myths that kids love to buy in to?

You tell your kids that? Telling your kids that Superman is real will get them a beatdown on the playground, for sure.

I mean seriously, why don't you tell your kids that the Force is real, as well?

Trying to convince your kids that Santa is real is about the same as trying to convince them that god is real.. whoops.

poonie
I hope they review those. As a baked college student I hesitate to think what I may have written to a four year old kid.

"No Christmas for you, I checked the list, you have been bad. Maybe if you leave out some magic brownies for me on Christmas eve night, I will forgive you."

That would probably be what I would have written in such a situation.

I work for Santa so, as you can imagine, I'm really getting a kick out of some of these posts.

First of all, Haven't you people ever wondered why you get so much coal every Christmas? Looks like this year's not going to be any different.

Also, we don't accept letters. Santa likes kids to talk to him personally while sitting on his lap. In fact, they don't even have to talk.

Uncle Karl

I hope they review those. As a baked college student I hesitate to think what I may have written to a four year old kid.

They make pretty good money. I believe it's above $10 for basically what's a form letter.

theknuckler_33: For all you farkers who are complaining about perpetuating the Santa myth, you either have no children, or you have no heart. what the hell is the matter with a little santa at christmas time?

I disagree. My parents had a tree and presents and all that, but they didn't make up an old perv visiting my home while I was asleep. They told me it was a celebration of Jesus and his teachings of love, and so people gave gifts to one another. That was better than Santa.

Is it wrong for me to be laughing right now?

C'mon, trappedspirit. Fess up. Why so bitter that small children believe in Santa Claus? There's got to be a great story in there somewhere.

/and if there isn't, we should have a contest to see who can invent the best one

//I'm leaning towards "Damn your cruel lies, evil parental figures! That wasn't Santa stuffing my stocking! That was drunk Uncle Bob poking his yule log down my chimney!"

St. Nicolas' tomb, in the Basilica di San Nicola in Bari.

Envelope:

SANTA CLAUS
NORTH POLE

Inside:

* * * powder * * *

"Dear Santa,

YUO GOT TEH ANTHRAX MOTHAFARKA LOL!!!1"

EMPulse_of_KC
Good one man...So Funny I Really LOL.

EdgeRunner

C'mon, trappedspirit. Fess up. Why so bitter that small children believe in Santa Claus? There's got to be a great story in there somewhere.


Santa worked his big hard white-pube-covered cock in my mouth when I was a small boy. He smelled of cocoa.


there. happy ?


/no, you can't unread it.

EMPulse_of_KC: Envelope:

SANTA CLAUS
NORTH POLE

Inside:

* * * powder * * *

"Dear Santa,

YUO GOT TEH ANTHRAX MOTHAFARKA LOL!!!1"

LOL, but you forgot to add:

Death to elves
Death to the North Pole
God is great.

Santa Claus
North Pole

inside

Dear Postal Drone,

Stop reading Santa's mail.

Santa Claus: Why should Jesus be the the only lie you tell your kids?

dbaggins: Santa worked his big hard white-pube-covered cock in my mouth when I was a small boy. He smelled of cocoa.

there. happy ?

Why should I be happy about your peculiar Santa fetish? I'm not making any money off your freaky webcam.

theknuckler_33

For all you farkers who are complaining about perpetuating the Santa myth, you either have no children, or you have no heart. what the hell is the matter with a little santa at christmas time? jebus Christmas, can't you take your cynical attitude and put it in the closet once in a while? do you tell your kids that there's no such thing as superman or the lone ranger or all the other farking myths that kids love to buy in to? for God's sake, let kids be kids. Assholes.

Quite possibly the best post I've read in the last 6 months on Fark.