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(Some Guy)   USPS returns four-year-old's letter to Santa Claus stamped "Return to Sender, Insufficient Address, Unable to Forward"   (earthtimes.org) divider line 210
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10629 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Dec 2006 at 5:43 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2006-12-13 06:00:05 PM
Santa?!?
I've been sending my letters to Satan!

danm dsyxelia.
 
2006-12-13 06:00:37 PM
Amaranth: For generations, parents have been screwing up their children in many ways.

Yup, you'd know. Pretty dumb to say you never trusted your parents after they "dropped the Santa bomb" on you. Especially seeing as how you've, you know, grown up and all.
 
2006-12-13 06:01:11 PM
eedlef,

Wouldn't this phrase cover about 80% of the things that make it here?

Shush!! I have no use for logic this afternoon. Take it outside, buddy.
 
2006-12-13 06:01:32 PM
No, the post office does have procedures for letters mailed to "Santa", "The North Pole", etc.


Is that not ridiculous to anyone besides me? Why should they have a procedure for this? I wonder how much wasted time is spent on letters to someone everyone above the age of 7 knows does not exist?
 
2006-12-13 06:01:44 PM
Did someone read the news story about the grocery bagger who bagged canned food in the same bag as the bread???

/subby says, "Now THATS an article worth posting!"
 
2006-12-13 06:02:23 PM
the post office does have procedures for letters mailed to "Santa", "The North Pole", etc.

None of those involve returning it to sender.


What exactly are the alleged procedures?

I'm guessing they dump it in the trash. (What else *can* they do with mail that is obviously undeliverable, besides return it to the sender?)
 
2006-12-13 06:02:28 PM
robotgod667:

Non-story on a non-website. Earthtimes.org? Nice greenlight, boys. Nice.

Well, you get what you pay for.
 
2006-12-13 06:02:29 PM
Since when did USPS care about properly addressed mail? I thought they just delivered mail and packages randomly.
 
2006-12-13 06:02:30 PM
EvilEgg: They really should have stamped it "Recipiant Deceased" that would have been more fun.

Thirded. Plus that Perry Bible Fellowship comic's hilarious.
 
2006-12-13 06:02:35 PM
I want to be the guy who has to "dispose" of all the letters to santa.
 
2006-12-13 06:03:27 PM
Yes, because we all know that ignorance is bliss. Seriously. why some parents insist on perpetuating this falsehood to their kids is beyond belief.

I love it when armchair intellectuals get their black turtlenecks in a twist every year over this. Going along with the Santa thing to your small children is not "perpetuating a falsehood" any more than leaving a quarter under their pillow for a tooth, or setting an extra plate at dinner for their new teddy bear.

Now, I agree with folks who think one shouldn't actually mail letters to Santa; the parents should ideally just pretend to do so and not stick the postal workers with the load. However, anything that encourages children to use their imaginations in a harmless way just doesn't bother me.
 
2006-12-13 06:06:33 PM
lilplatinum
Yeah, I'm sure. You see; I was raised to believe my parents when they told me stuff. They started out very well with "The stove is hot, it will hurt if you touch it while it's on" which was backed up when I touched it while it was on and it hurt.
Now I'm not saying that it was the "childhood stories" that messed it up, it was the fact that certain stories were presented as true rather than not. When my mom read me children's books, she would often assure me that it was just a story and not real. But then she goes and tells me the Santa story is as real as getting burned by a hot stove? That's not a children's story anymore, now it's a bald faced lie. And when I found out about it, I realized that I had been fed this lie as the truth for my entire life (which was about 6 years at that point, but it seems like a long time to a 6 year old).
This revelation brought into question everything my parents had ever told me was true that I hadn't experienced for myself. And if you can't trust your own parents, who can your trust?

So when my parents said "Don't have sex, it's not worth it" guess how I handled that? and sure enough, they were lying again. This did manage to bite me with my father's "don't get married, you'll regret it" which turned out to be true.

But yeah, lie to your kids enough times and they'll stop trusting you. Why lie more than you need to? What would constitute need? Stop farking lying to your kids!
/I learned it from you dad! I learned it from watching you!
 
2006-12-13 06:07:46 PM
gradatim,

What exactly are the alleged procedures?

I'm guessing they dump it in the trash. (What else *can* they do with mail that is obviously undeliverable, besides return it to the sender?)


In most cities, they deliver the letters to local charities and/or volunteer organizations. The USPS allows the individual post offices to decide who will receive the letters. Some post offices allow the postal workers to answer the letters themselves.

The charities and volunteers will respond back to the letters as Santa and/or his elves. In some of the letters where the kid sounds needy, some of the charities will even try to get the kid a gift for Christmas.

It's pretty cool :)
 
2006-12-13 06:08:19 PM
I'm certainly not telling MY kids stories about Santa Claus. Also no tooth fairy or Easter Bunny.
And no fairy-tales or fictional stories of any kind. I won't be igniting the fires of imagination in MY children, no sir! It's strictly the Wall Street Journal for them.
 
2006-12-13 06:08:42 PM
It's all about Jesus this time of year. Anyone who tells their kids otherwise is going to hell. It's as simple as that. So I hope this whole family rots in the afterlife. It would serve them right.
 
2006-12-13 06:09:35 PM
Akuinnen:

icwutudidthere
 
2006-12-13 06:10:04 PM
MadAfro
anything that encourages children to use their imaginations in a harmless way just doesn't bother me.

No kiddin, my life isn't in the shiatter now because I found out the truth about Santa. It was fun to believe in.
 
2006-12-13 06:10:22 PM
No, the post office does have procedures for letters mailed to "Santa", "The North Pole", etc. None of those involve returning it to sender. The people at the post office farked up. It's trivial, but it's still their fark-up.

i keyed mail for the post office for two years (and two ugly Christmases) and SchlingFo is right. looks like someone didn't get the memo posted to their terminal on how to key Santa Mail.

srhp29: this is not ridiculous. it goes to a post office in North Pole, Alaska, zip code 99705. all that needs to be entered is the zip code, even if the address on the envelope is "Santa Claus". the post office knows what to expect at this time of year and provisions are made. these letters are not trash. someone spent 39-cents to make sure their kid has a fun memory of Christmas before reality sets in. i take it you never wrote a letter to Santa? did your parents lock you in the cellar for Christmas or what?

i remember keying letters to Santa as late as March. pitiful. i also remember coming in on New Years Day hungover as HELL and suffered for eight hours at my computer, thinking i'd only be there for two.
 
2006-12-13 06:10:31 PM
I love the bitter taste of broken hearted disilliusioned 4-year olds so I approve of this.

/wishes he coulda seen the letter as the kid recieved it
//laughing evilly
///will continue laughing for days as I think about it
 
2006-12-13 06:10:43 PM
Since when did USPS care about properly addressed mail? I thought they just delivered mail and packages randomly.



Closest i've come to spitting out soda laughing this month
 
2006-12-13 06:11:49 PM
don't know about that market, but here the reporters are trawling for Christmas Grinch stories ie: did someone steal you christmas ornaments? contact us.

directed outrage mfg by lazy reporters... so the parents may have done what they did at The Tennessean and just fill out details for the pre-written outrage story.
 
2006-12-13 06:12:13 PM
Amaranth


One that doesn't really have to exist is the one where they lie to the child for years while completely aware that the child is eventually going to find out it was all a lie and then never trust them again.
/When I found out there was no Santa, it led to the discovery of no Easter Bunny, no Tooth Fairy, etc. Never trusted my parents again.



That is, quite frankly, pathetic.

Actually, pathetic doesn't quite describe the level of contempt and derision that I feel.

Ah forget it, I'll just call a Whambulance.
 
2006-12-13 06:12:22 PM
A 4 year old knows the word "ironic"? Man, what do they put in the water out there in Ill.?
 
2006-12-13 06:12:53 PM
Amaranth

Kids are going to not listen to their parents as teenagers regardless of what they were told as kids. Let the kids believe in their imaginary bullshiat for a few years before they are forced to open their eyes to the cruel monotony of the world. My parents fed me the Santa, Easter Bunny, and God lies - and they didn't do it out of malice. But thats not the reason I took lots of intoxicants and chased around strange when I was a teenager.
 
2006-12-13 06:12:53 PM
MadAfro
I love it when armchair intellectuals get their black turtlenecks in a twist every year over this. Going along with the Santa thing to your small children is not "perpetuating a falsehood" any more than leaving a quarter under their pillow for a tooth, or setting an extra plate at dinner for their new teddy bear.
Which means you agree that going along with the Santa thing is both "perpetuating a falsehood" and "deliberately lying to your children when you known damn well they're going to catch you eventually" right?
Why not just give the kid a quarter for the tooth and tell them that you're doing it because you understand that this was both painful and a sign of their maturation? Say "good for you" or "I'm proud of how you handled that" or something, assuming those things are true.
Why not say "We can have a plate for your teddy bear, but you're going to have to acknowledge that the bear is toy and so it doesn't get food on it's plate." Kids pretend, it's fun. Doesn't need to get out of hand though. I talked to my toys. When I was asked if the toys talked back I said "No, they're just toys. I'm pretending!". Knowing I was pretending didn't make it any less fun.
 
2006-12-13 06:13:08 PM
MadAfro:

I love it when armchair intellectuals get their black turtlenecks in a twist every year over this.

Huh?

Going along with the Santa thing to your small children is not "perpetuating a falsehood" any more than leaving a quarter under their pillow for a tooth, or setting an extra plate at dinner for their new teddy bear.

You would probably be suprised to learn that most parents do not treat Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy as make-believe with their children. They do not say, "Ok, we are going to pretend that there is this fat guy who delivers presents on Christmas." Don't know where you were raised.
 
2006-12-13 06:15:44 PM
Looks like this kid got a real UFIA.

(Unable to Forward: Insufficient Address)
 
2006-12-13 06:15:50 PM
Just keep lying to your kids, even when they are in doubt and they ask you if Santa is real, just say 'yes, he watches you sleep at night and if your bad you'll get a pile of dog doo doo under the tree', then reaffirm it by actually putting dog poo under the tree that year, then tell your kid "he did it cuz you doubted him".
 
2006-12-13 06:16:22 PM
I'm not a pseudo-intellectual and I'm sort of a Christian in the "I believe in God but don't buy most of this shiat" kind of way but wake the fark up, you're lying to your kids and creating a variety of histrionics by making them believe in a fictional creature for your own sense of power and nostalgia is wrong. And that goes for Santa too.
 
2006-12-13 06:16:41 PM
So don't show the kid the returned letter.

There. Problem solved.
 
2006-12-13 06:17:20 PM
trappedspirit: Yes, because we all know that ignorance is bliss. Seriously. why some parents insist on perpetuating this falsehood to their kids is beyond belief.


Yeah, I still haven't forgiven my parents for perpetuating this LIE to me when I was a kid. I'll probably never speak to them again.
 
2006-12-13 06:19:14 PM
after reading these posts:

i'm curious if there is anything aside from beer, boobs, trying to prove others wrong and schadenfreude that bring you sons of b*tches any joy. jesus christ. what a f*cking RANK existence you all have.
 
2006-12-13 06:19:24 PM
jagstang:

Yeah, I still haven't forgiven my parents for perpetuating this LIE to me when I was a kid. I'll probably never speak to them again.

I think you need counseling.
 
2006-12-13 06:19:36 PM
lilplatinum
No, of course it wasn't. But I assert that it was one of many many contributing factors.
I also assert that if parents didn't lie to their children "for fun" that those children would listen a hell of a lot more when they hit their teens because they could honestly say to themselves "Well they've always been upfront with me before" and maybe that would make an impact at a critical moment.
As a teenager, if I had asked if you believed that your parents told you things to inform you of the truth or to get you to obey, what would you have said? To take the false dichotomy out that, which would you say happened more often with things that you considered "might be really fun"?
 
2006-12-13 06:19:45 PM
I'm glad I believed in Santa when I was a kid. There was one girl in my 3rd grade class who didn't believe in Santa, and she was already jaded and bitter.
 
2006-12-13 06:19:48 PM
When I was little there was a special mail box set up by the police station where I would drop my letter to Santa off. My mom never would have let me just throw it in the USPS mailbox.

/I milked that Santa thing way too long but still got double presents (well, half/half I suppose).
//I wonder if there's a different procedure for the Easter Bunny...
 
2006-12-13 06:20:03 PM
this is not ridiculous. it goes to a post office in North Pole, Alaska, zip code 99705

Why does the USPS hate children? Or, more correctly, why does everything have to be American?

"North Pole, Alaska 99705" is a town in Alaska. Not Santa's workshop!!!

Everyone knows that The North Pole is in Canada (at least currently).

The correct address for Santa is:

SANTA CLAUS
NORTH POLE
H0H 0H0
CANADA
 
2006-12-13 06:20:16 PM
2006-12-13 06:06:33 PM Amaranth

What a sad life you have. I hope you don't have kids, Mr. Serious Nofunsky.
 
2006-12-13 06:20:21 PM
H0H 0H0 is right, but it doesn't go to a "town in canada", those letters get processed by volunteer postal workers who will print out a nice canned letter and send it back to the kid

more infos here
 
2006-12-13 06:20:27 PM
trappedspirit: I think you need counseling.

sarcasm?
 
2006-12-13 06:20:56 PM
They didn't deliver because he doesn't exist. They couldn't deliver it.
 
2006-12-13 06:21:21 PM
Well, you know, when it's written in crayon, says "Sanda Kaws, Norf Poel" and nothing else, I think I'd be confused too...
 
2006-12-13 06:23:47 PM
It's amazing how much people will defend their right to screw with the minds of developing children.
 
2006-12-13 06:24:15 PM
asmodeus224: I love the bitter taste of broken hearted disilliusioned 4-year olds so I approve of this.

Do you eat a lot of disillusioned 4-year olds?
 
2006-12-13 06:25:18 PM
trappedspirit
I think jagstang was being sarcastic.

Seriously. I love my parents. I just don't trust things they say. Because they lie. Alot. About important things too, not just fat red annual intruders. (heh, I typed that as "fat red anal intruders" on the first try)
I just remember catching my dad planting presents and him trying to lie his way out of it. I remember it took days after that for them to come clean, and then they tried to perpetuate the same lie the next year. I remember this setting of a chain reaction of curiosity about everything else they'd told me was real but I hadn't been able to prove.
 
2006-12-13 06:25:43 PM
they deliver the letters to local charities ... Some post offices allow the postal workers to answer the letters themselves.

The charities and volunteers will respond back to the letters as Santa and/or his elves.


Now that is cool.
 
2006-12-13 06:26:20 PM
It's amazing how much people will defend their right to take all the fun out of childhood.
 
2006-12-13 06:26:22 PM
Sandman3G:

When I was little there was a special mail box set up by the police station where I would drop my letter to Santa off.

Ah, so at least they were keeping the station house furnace a little warmer. That would at least be a good use of them and one I would approve.
 
2006-12-13 06:27:11 PM
no Santa for you.

Not Yours!
 
2006-12-13 06:27:53 PM
Soup4Bonnie:

Are you seriously telling me that you equate the joy of childhood with lies?

Santa != make-believe
 
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