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(Boston Herald)   Jesus stolen from Nativity scene, replaced with beer can. Police announce: "Every FARKer in New Hampshire is now considered a suspect"   (news.bostonherald.com) divider line 98
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3835 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Dec 2006 at 9:17 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2006-12-08 09:07:34 PM
Ummm... I've been in Mass. all week...yaaa, that's the ticket....

\really live here
\\but visit nh farkers on a regular basis
 
2006-12-08 09:15:30 PM
If this had happened in Texas it would have been declared "The Miracle of The Beer" and thousands of people would already be in line to worship the Lord in front of the can!
 
2006-12-08 09:20:16 PM
What kind of beer?
 
2006-12-08 09:20:19 PM
can't even leave any christmas decorations out without worrying about it being stolen by secular progressives or atheists.
 
2006-12-08 09:20:31 PM
Maybe it was supposed to be some kind of statement, or maybe it was a prank by some stupid drunk kids. Either way it's harmless but kinda mean.

Oh, and I guess blasphemous, if you're into that.
 
2006-12-08 09:20:45 PM
Wow, i didn't know he was both King of Beers and King of the Jews....
 
2006-12-08 09:21:23 PM
old and busted: farking with garden gnomes
also old and busted: Farking with nativity scenes
 
2006-12-08 09:21:30 PM
submitter: Jesus stolen from Nativity scene, replaced with beer can. Police announce: "Every FARKer in New Hampshire is now considered a suspect"

It would be a Farker only if the beer can was empty.
 
2006-12-08 09:21:58 PM
Bloginspanken: What kind of beer?

True question of the miracle...
 
2006-12-08 09:22:02 PM
Unto you a Beer is Born.
 
2006-12-08 09:23:08 PM
It's a christmas miracle!



/mmmmmm
//Beer
 
2006-12-08 09:23:16 PM
www.news4jax.com
 
2006-12-08 09:23:33 PM
thefutureisours: can't even leave any christmas decorations out without worrying about it being stolen by secular progressives or atheists.

Or drunks.
 
2006-12-08 09:23:43 PM
my buddy must be at it again. last time he used baby jesus as an ashtray........
 
2006-12-08 09:23:46 PM
Baby Jebus says: Less Filling!
 
2006-12-08 09:25:07 PM
phrawgh: Baby Jebus says: Less Filling!

But Santa said it tasted great...
 
2006-12-08 09:26:19 PM
All hail the newborn king!

img292.imageshack.us
 
2006-12-08 09:26:24 PM
Wait, they think one of us traded a beer for a baby? I don't even like beer and I wouldn't make that trade.
 
2006-12-08 09:26:29 PM
Chooljain said he will replace the illuminated figure with another doll for the time being.

Cabbage Patch Jesus.
 
2006-12-08 09:26:58 PM
I'm gonna do this song again, and I'm gonna do it straight up you ass. You are a holy savior. You really are a rock star. You can really rock it out. You can really whip a horse's ass.
img95.imageshack.us
Rock over London, Rock on, Chicago!
Jesus-He died for your sins.
 
2006-12-08 09:27:05 PM
Live free or die ... only to be arisen three days later?
 
2006-12-08 09:27:34 PM
webpages.charter.net
 
2006-12-08 09:27:51 PM
www.shmaltz.com
 
2006-12-08 09:27:57 PM
Misch: It would be a Farker only if the beer can was empty.

FTFA:
...was disrespectful by replacing it with an empty beer can.

Water to wine, Christ-child to beer, is there really a difference?
 
Rat
2006-12-08 09:28:02 PM
You kids.

©
 
2006-12-08 09:29:14 PM
Its just an improvement on the old bit. Why turn water into wine when he could turn HIMSELF into BEER?!?
 
2006-12-08 09:29:15 PM
Misch It would be a Farker only if the beer can was empty.

Or if the beer was subsequently stolen and replaced with a fark cliche
 
2006-12-08 09:30:56 PM
Somehow, somewhere, this means that we should kill all anti-abortionists. At least thats what they WANT us to think.
 
2006-12-08 09:31:26 PM
I'm in ur nativity scene, stealing ur Jesus!
 
2006-12-08 09:32:03 PM
Eyewitnesses helped police derive this composite sketch.
:
:
notmyrealdomain.com

OoOo
/no he di'dent
 
2006-12-08 09:32:19 PM
img243.imageshack.us
 
2006-12-08 09:33:39 PM
i73.photobucket.com
 
2006-12-08 09:33:45 PM
That's actually pretty funny.

/Used to live in NH
//This is probably the most exciting thing that's happened there since the blizzard a few years ago...
 
2006-12-08 09:33:58 PM
Somehow, somewhere, this means that we should kill all anti-abortionists. At least thats what they WANT us to think.

Um. You're trying too hard.
 
2006-12-08 09:36:04 PM
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath...Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them" (Exodus 20:4-5; also Deuteronomy 5:8-9)
 
fb-
2006-12-08 09:38:37 PM
People really believe this whole 'nativity' bullshiat story?

Virgin birth.. yeah.. right...
 
2006-12-08 09:38:58 PM
img132.imageshack.us
 
2006-12-08 09:41:54 PM
If only the Baby Jebus was replaced with a Canadian coke torpedo. My life would be so much simpler.
 
2006-12-08 09:42:06 PM
Serves baby jeebus right! he's not supposed to be out in the crib until the 25th!!

/at least according to tradition he is....
 
2006-12-08 09:42:46 PM
fb- OMG when did You Return? The King of Trolls.
 
2006-12-08 09:43:44 PM
"Serves baby jeebus right! he's not supposed to be out in the crib until the 25th!!
/at least according to tradition he is...."

Exactly - he's weeks premature.

If you're gonna do the Jebus thang at least do it properly.

No Jebus till 25th Dec.
 
2006-12-08 09:45:07 PM
7 And she grabbed a beer from the fridge and she put it on ice, and laid it in a manger, because there was no room for it in the cooler.

8 In the same region there were some shepherds staying out in the fields and keeping watch over the late night TV shows

9 And an angel of the Lord suddenly appeared on an infomercial, and the glory of the Lord shone around them; and they were terribly frightened.

10 But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid; for behold, I bring you good news of great joy which will be for all the people;

11 for today in the city of David there has been saved for you a beer, which is a microbrew.

12 "This will be a sign for you: you will find it on ice and lying in a manger."

13 And suddenly there appeared with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,

14 "Glory to God in the highest, And on earth peace among men with whom He is pleased."

15 When the angels had gone away and and an old episode of Cheers began, the shepherds began saying to one another, "Let us go straight to Bethlehem then, and see this thing that has happened which the Lord has made known to us."

16 So they came in a hurry and found their way to Mary and Joseph, and the beer as it lay in the manger.

17 And they drank of it. And there was much rejoicing, and eating of nachos.
 
2006-12-08 09:47:55 PM
I grew up in Hampsh. Quite honestly, thats the tip of the farking pizza. People there take the whole live free or die stuff to heart.

/beer is my jesus
 
2006-12-08 09:48:04 PM
Adman12 FTW

You are my new hero. I haven't laughed so hard at a posting in a long while!!!
Thanks.
 
2006-12-08 09:51:41 PM
Couldn't have been me. I crapped in the last manger i drunkly looted...
 
2006-12-08 09:53:00 PM
[TROLL=2]
Hmmm. Mary was raped by the Holy Spirit. There was no consent, just a mere warning by the Angel Gabriel. quot;Hey Mary, you've been chosen to get knocked up by a God! Have fun! Got some shepherds to scare, so see ya! And he was gone. Sure enough, the Holy Spirit showed up while she was sleeping (so she couldn't protest) and impregnated her. This was rape and it was wrong. One must also consider Mary's personal situation. She was an unwed mother of 14 living in a society where women who lost their virginity outside of marriage were stoned to death.
[/TROLL]
 
2006-12-08 09:56:54 PM
phrawgh: Mary was raped by the Holy Spirit

More like bukkake:

i8.photobucket.com
 
2006-12-08 09:58:12 PM
Adman12: More like bukkake:

I can only imagine what Song of Solomon-themed bukkake would look like. : )
 
2006-12-08 09:58:45 PM
doesn't want to press charges

Then maybe he ought to STFU.
 
2006-12-08 09:59:32 PM
Adman12

And after reading your profile, I think Im also in love with you. Too bad you're married.... and straight...
 
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