At the risk of sounding Scrooge-y, I can't help but think that this money could have paid for a hell of a lot of Parkinson's research.

That being said, it's nice to see people who do actual work get rewarded when a company sells, rather than all the do-nothing empty suits at the top walking away with obscene amounts of money while the rank and file all get laid off.

If I didn't know already, I'd say the company couldn't possibly be American-owned. The fact that the market value of the purchasing company went up on the news of this gesture is further confirmation; if the stockbrokers involved had been here in the States, they would have lost 20% today.

/merry Christmas, indeed. I could use some of that myself ATM.

Evil Otto: At the risk of sounding Scrooge-y, I can't help but think that this money could have paid for a hell of a lot of Parkinson's research.


The market is right...This is going to prompt a lot of people to stay with the company, and continuity is hard to come by in biotech when there's a buyout.

I've been through a couple, and employees usually leave in droves. Typically, it's the best and brightest that leave first.

Besides, 185 employees X $12,500 = ~$2.3 million

That's pocket change compared to the 5 billion Euros the company was sold for. They're going to spend more than that changing company letterhead, business cards and switching out the sign on the front of the building.

Evil Otto You do sound Scrooge-y.

Plus, the intent is to make employees happy so they are more likely to stay on after the aquisition. Heavy attrition would cost a lot more than the bonuses.

This sounds like a fiscally sound move.

Plus really really cool that they gave everyone the same amount.

/Cheers

Evil Otto: If I didn't know already, I'd say the company couldn't possibly be American-owned.

Big bonuses aren't that uncommon. I work in finance and my company (~700 employees) gives excellent bonuses to everyone. A friend of mine that works for Lehman Bros. (23,000 employees) got a $10k bonus and she hadn't even worked there for 7 months.. she's pretty low on the totem pole, too. The bonuses are given based on position, though, but are still incredible.

How many hot cocoa sampler boxes does that buy?

Evil Otto

The fact that the market value of the purchasing company went up on the news of this gesture is further confirmation; if the stockbrokers involved had been here in the States, they would have lost 20% today.


Yes, that's right! Because stockbrokers in the U.S. don't deal with stocks in other countries! That would be, like, just so globally-oriented. And we are America! Well, we are a geographic piece of North America shared with two other countries, but that isn't the point. We are the best!

/USA, USA, USA

ExJerseyGirl: Yes, that's right! Because stockbrokers in the U.S. don't deal with stocks in other countries! That would be, like, just so globally-oriented. And we are America! Well, we are a geographic piece of North America shared with two other countries, but that isn't the point. We are the best!

Your sarcasm is palpable, but just in case I've been misunderstood, TFA does specify that the stockbrokers identified as being responsible for the market share increase were European, which is why I said what I did about United States stockbrokers.

/just sayin

evulish: Big bonuses aren't that uncommon. I work in finance and my company (~700 employees) gives excellent bonuses to everyone. A friend of mine that works for Lehman Bros. (23,000 employees) got a $10k bonus and she hadn't even worked there for 7 months.. she's pretty low on the totem pole, too. The bonuses are given based on position, though, but are still incredible.

My point is that EVERY full-time employee got this bonus. This is what strikes me as indicating the company isn't US-based. If it were, the manager/director types would have gotten $20k each and the peons would have gotten a subscription to the Jelly of the Month club.

Bonzo_1116: The market is right...This is going to prompt a lot of people to stay with the company, and continuity is hard to come by in biotech when there's a buyout.

I've been through a couple, and employees usually leave in droves. Typically, it's the best and brightest that leave first.

Besides, 185 employees X $12,500 = ~$2.3 million

That's pocket change compared to the 5 billion Euros the company was sold for. They're going to spend more than that changing company letterhead, business cards and switching out the sign on the front of the building.

Yes, it is pocket change, comparitively. And an extremely good move, IMHO, both in terms of morale and employee retention.

However, Wall Street, being the logic-free zone that it is, seems to be founded on the fact that every cent that goes into the employee's pocket is another cent in expenses, and increasing expenses arbitrarily isn't in the interest of the stockholder, and therefore reduces the stock value immediately. The facts that this move is #1 financially pretty trivial when you consider the scope of the transaction and #2 will most likely lead to greater revenues in the coming quarters is irrelevant; it lowers profits RIGHT NOW!!!1! and therefore must be punished.

That's cool as hell. Too bad about the $5K of it that's going straight to Uncle Sam.

Too bad about the $5K of it that's going straight to Uncle Sam.

Yeah, that would really suck to only have 7K left. Might as well just not get a bonus at all.

"Employee all get equal bonus regardless of position $12,500"

Is our children learning?

Totally deserves a Hero tag.

To me, it seems like they just took the million dollar bonus the CEO would have gotten and put it into giving everyone a 12.5k bonus. Farking commies. Farking awesome commies. Naysayers might want to think about this as they are mulling over the Almond Delight Hot Chocolate they got for a Christmas bonus, thinking about how their CEO is going to spend the 3 million he got for X-mas. I mean Holidays. I mean Kwanzaa. Whatever.

BobtheFascist
Are you sure about that? I thought bonuses were counted differently for taxes.

I've got bigger bonuses than that except most were done in the form of stock options rather than some lump sum thing. It's actually a bit nicer that way, because you can spread out cashing them in so you don't get nailed with the higher tax bracket.

Hallelujah. Holy shiat. Where's the Tylenol?

This headline is as badly written as the article.

/My writing gland is so swollen and angry today

5.86 billion.

nice.

Now if only mayo was that appreciative. I mean shiat, I'd be happy with a $20 christmas bonus, but do you think I get anything? nope. fark Mayo Hospital. This place sucks Charles and William Mayo's dried up testicles.

I got a candy cane for a christmas bonus every year I worked for Verizon...no wait...make that Teletech, one of the companies that Verizon contracts their Tech support out to. Also...for achieving 97% average on a yearly basis..I got a 33 cent raise every year I was that.

So remember, if you need to call in for internet support this christmas and you are a verizon cust. dont forget to ask them how their candy cane was.


/glad to be gone

there..not that

sorry type

That's cool as hell. Too bad about the $5K of it that's going straight to Uncle Sam.



Income is taxed. Film at 11.

Schwarz must be VERY good at "Moichandizing"!!

WTF??? The company I work for was sold last year, and all we got was twice as much work.

Bastards.

Taxes are going to pull like half of that right off the top.

Thanks, suckers.


/Happy Holiday!

holy crap are they hiring???
own a house in raleigh
well be moving back there soon

WTF is a "Christmas Bonus"?

I came into work today and got a little hand-made fabric gift bag the size of a CD case with a Hershey's bar wrapped with an announcement we'd all get to go home early the day before Christmas weekend (workload / supervisor permitting) and $50 cash.

This being my first *real* gig as a professional writer, after multiple sentences in the retail / restaurant / service industries, it really stunned me.

It really hit me during Thanksgiving when I had the holiday off & got out early the day before and had the day after off too and nothing came out of my pocket because of it.

I've worked hourly too long. I'm grateful for salary and a good corporate culture.

Good on the old folks, and congrats to the employees.

BobtheFascist: That's cool as hell. Too bad about the $5K of it that's going straight to Uncle Sam.

German company. Uncle Sam has nothing to do with this.

I guess Chevy Chase couldn't rant with that size bonus, eh?

...and yes, my post was rambling gibberish, but I'm not at work right now nor care to communicate coherently.

It's the whiskey talking sentimentally. Let's leave it at that.

The biotech company I worked for gave a christmas bonus of layoffs. New company gives a bonus of one month's pay if company goals are met. They set the bar at an achievable level.

BobtheFascist
Too bad about the $5K of it that's going straight to Uncle Sam.

You must be a lot of fun at parties.

IKillBugs: Uncle Sam has nothing to do with this.

German company, Raleigh, NC employees. The $12500 is taxable additional income for Uncle Sam.

Sigh


/stares at his Hot Cocoa Sampler Box and weeps

scseth: German company, Raleigh, NC employees. The $12500 is taxable additional income for Uncle Sam.

Yeah, I read that right after I posted my brain fart. Ignore me. It's for the best.

IKillBugs

German company. Uncle Sam has nothing to do with this.

Sure... but if he could figure out how to tax the income of people in other countries, by god he'll do it!

I got something called Polonium as my bonus this year.

Yeah, I'd TOTALLY turn down that money so I wouldn't have to pay the taxes on it. The government doesn't do anything good with my taxes any way, so fark it...the joke's on them. Everytime my company gives me a raise, I say, "HA! I'm not falling for that, that's just more TAXES I've got to pay!"

My work (a non profit) gave out a bonus last year "because we raised so much money fundraising we thought we'd share our good fortune". Turns out that money would have counted as a profit and would have to have been taxed and our 503c status might have been looked into.

After the fiscal year turned over they launch the "employee giving campagin" and begin aggressively seeking donations from workers. Telling managers to really push for their subordinates to sign up, leaving submission forms on our keyboards, sending emails almost daily for about a month, etc. To me it seemed like a legal way to launder the extra cash so they wouldn't have to pay taxes on it. Never gave them my $250 "bonus" back, that went straight to...paying down loans. How exciting!

Did someone say power of the Schwartz?

IKillBugs: German company. Uncle Sam has nothing to do with this.

Uncle Sam does get to rape those 185 people in Raleigh.

Did anyone get a hot cocoa sampler?

(Does anyone GET the hot cocoa sampler or have I just been here too long?)

In Toronto CEO of Ontario Hydro jusr resigned today, he was paid yearly $1,500.000 and used company helicopter to get to the cottage and used company credit card for personal purchases. When is enough? We are drowning in garbage, chocking the planet and this man and many others in similar position are just looking for more. What's $12,000 bonus, a small reward for loyalty.

Jelly of the month for 3 whole months!

That would never happen where I work, or at most places where I work. If it did then people would biatch and moan, "I've been here for x number of years more than that guy, so I should have gotten more.", or "I'm higher up than those people, so I should have gotten more." or "Why did that receptionist get a bonus equal to mine? All she did was answer the phones." Honestly, I don't like 90% of the people in my company.

Actually, my boss and I are about to have a talk Monday morning. My step mom (who works where I do) mentioned bonuses that she and a bunch of people got starting last month. My paycheck hasn't mentioned any bonus at all, and I do the same farking job as the people she mentioned were getting bonuses. She mentioned it was for having to watch those stupid ass training videos (for the job that she's been doing of over 5 years at the company, and the job I've been doing all year) that we had to watch last month.

I've already been told not to expect a christmas bonus. The company that has scheduled 3 christmas parties for us. The company that is paying me 2.5x to work christmas eve and christmas (after telling me that I have to work those days to being with). The same company that has a mission statement that starts off with the phrase "To honor god..." is not giving us farking christmas bonuses.

Last Monday was our second christmas party. They also handed out some awards. Now, I thought that with it being a company function, and having the entire company there, it would be awards for people who did well at the company. No, it was the 3 big wigs giving awards out to each other for their bowling scores on their bowling nights. What a farking load of bullshiat to have to sit there and watch those three bastards pat each other on the back like that. If it wasn't for the wives of two of them biatching about how pissed they were about the bowling nights during the ceremony I wouldn't have had any fun.