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(BBC)   Passengers at London Heathrow airport can now check in faster if they're fingerprinted, get their face and eyes biometrically scanned, agree to be assimilated   (news.bbc.co.uk) divider line 40
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1279 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Dec 2006 at 8:14 AM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2006-12-06 08:18:36 AM
Wanted for questioning...

radgeek.com
 
2006-12-06 08:19:45 AM
Resistance is optional?
 
2006-12-06 08:21:56 AM
That's pretty cool, I'd sign up for it
 
2006-12-06 08:22:39 AM
Calamitus: Resistance is optional?

For the moment.
 
2006-12-06 08:25:08 AM
I have been saying for quite a while that Big Brother in inevitable. I will continue to say it, because it's true.

And the reason it's inevitable is because we generally suck @ss at behaving ourselves.

Just saying.
 
2006-12-06 08:26:07 AM
Call me old-fashioned, but I prefer the traditional body cavity searches.
 
2006-12-06 08:31:31 AM
They already have this in some countries. Holland for one. I couldnt help looking on enviously from my hot, stinking, slow moving queue.

Would sign up.
 
2006-12-06 08:33:01 AM
Most sheep will sign up as quickly as possible to prevent any more delays on their way to the concentration camps....
 
2006-12-06 08:33:40 AM
Not "assimilated", "upgraded"...
 
2006-12-06 08:34:22 AM
I'd never go for that. The less they know about me the better. Rather queue up.

/nothing to hide
 
2006-12-06 08:38:13 AM
Meh. I've never been in a security queue that lasted longer than 5 minutes anyway.

/they can pry my biometric details from my cold, dead iris
 
2006-12-06 08:40:23 AM
As far as I'm concerned, the less data the government has on me the better. I'd rather wait in a long line than give them biometric data about myself. Call me silly, but I just don't trust any government.
/that or just not fly if I don't have to.
 
2006-12-06 08:42:24 AM
Last time I was flying from Heathrow i was stopped, questioned, photographed. I thought 'this is unusual' as I'm so white I'm almost transparent and definitely wouldn't fit the profile of your average terrier-ist (ok back in the days of the IRA I would have been a perfect example).

I couldn't figure it out until I realised I had somehow been given the boarding card of another person, a COLOURED person with a FOREIGN sounding name.

I pity that guy next time he tries to get through Heathrow airport and his file has a picture of a tall white guy with freckles and auburn hair.

/wants to WRITE for the SUN
 
2006-12-06 08:43:54 AM
Finally, their skin-tone is compared to a paper bag...
 
2006-12-06 08:44:52 AM
Who's in charge of checking there teeth before boarding.
 
2006-12-06 08:46:30 AM
Biggie Thang: Who's in charge of checking there teeth before boarding.

Whare?
 
2006-12-06 08:47:14 AM
I'd sign up. Big deal they have my finger prints, retinal scan and a photo. What evil Orwellian things will be done with this data that will effect me?
 
2006-12-06 08:48:10 AM
Biggie Thang

Hopefully not the same person in charge of checking your spelling.
 
2006-12-06 08:51:37 AM
They already have this information anyway. Why do you think you were tired last monday? You were up all night being measured. They already have mind wipe tech.
 
2006-12-06 08:53:22 AM
I was going to come in here and make a "resistance is..." joke, but I see it's been done already. Otherwise I'll just mention that I'm surprised nobody has done a photoshop of Drew's face onto a picture of Locutus yet. Drew-cutus.

/got nothing
//except that Heathrow reminded me of a set from Brazil when I was there in April
///I'm worried about the luggage retrieval system at Heathrow. worry worry worry.
 
2006-12-06 08:54:14 AM
The tax code forces you to give far, far, far more personal information than going on the airplane. All in the name of punishing success. Dumbasses.
 
2006-12-06 09:01:19 AM
air travel is where they have us by the neck. you can't escape it, once you're in the security line and into the plane you have nowhere to go. it's the perfect herding mechanism. they will use it to every crooked advantage they can.

anyobdy who would give away such information about themselves just to save some time is a fool, in my opinion.
 
2006-12-06 09:05:44 AM
happens when you fly into JFK already, so...yeah, photo and fingerprints every time.
 
2006-12-06 09:05:49 AM
I was looking for the Borg referances, I was not disappointed.

Saw a sheeple referance, good. Saw a "resistance is..." joke, check. Orwellian Big Brother conspiracy post, check. Person with a "pry my biometric details from my cold, dead iris" comment, check. Thread even has a mind wipe post.

Bonus, Heathrow compaired to movie Brazil, sweet.

/I hope that the rest of the post continue the quality themes already started.
//Just looking for someone to tie in Zombies and the thread will be perfect.
 
2006-12-06 09:06:05 AM
It's for your safety Citizen! There is no way this will be used against you at any point in the future.

/Now get on the bus.
 
2006-12-06 09:26:14 AM
Hell, If I could copulate with Seven of Nine, I'd let them assimilate me...Only I want a super sized schwantz, with a built in vibrator.

Nearly spewed all of my beer the night I first saw her ask Harry Kim if he wanted to copulate with her.
 
2006-12-06 09:26:39 AM
Sorta makes sense...

Wonder if my Florida resident Concealed Carry permit would do any good? Hrm.... next time I fly....
 
2006-12-06 09:27:09 AM
I prefer Gatwick, the giant hamster maze airport.
 
2006-12-06 09:31:38 AM
baby_hewey:
I was looking for the Borg referances, I was not disappointed.
Saw a sheeple referance, good. Saw a "resistance is..." joke, check. Orwellian Big Brother conspiracy post, check. Person with a "pry my biometric details from my cold, dead iris" comment, check. Thread even has a mind wipe post.
Bonus, Heathrow compaired to movie Brazil, sweet.
/I hope that the rest of the post continue the quality themes already started.
//Just looking for someone to tie in Zombies and the thread will be perfect.

You're forgetting the THX-1138 reference.

/obscure?
//a forgotten gem
 
2006-12-06 09:39:44 AM
The only reason they slow down the non-biometric lines is to make you "want" to give up your details. They can kiss my butt and get DNA from the contact.
 
2006-12-06 09:42:22 AM
bookman,

I saw it, but I felt that I was already rambling so I let it slide as one of the less known.

I should have stayed the course and included it.

/My post-fu is week
//Must be my flu-fu getting to me.
 
2006-12-06 09:46:57 AM
baby_hewey
Bonus, Heathrow compaired to movie Brazil, sweet.

My comparison of Heathrow to a "Brazil" set is aesthetic, but I can see how you get a Big Brother vibe out of the comment. I thought the corrugated metal terminals that look like giant road culverts and semi-industrial exterior (at least the parts that I saw) reminded me of a certain '80s Gilliam movie. I'd just hate to see what lies behind some of the wall panels there.
 
2006-12-06 09:58:38 AM
That's all well and good, but I'm still worried about the baggage retrieval system they've got at Heathrow.


/obscure?
 
2006-12-06 10:02:20 AM
Sybarite
Python references are never obscure, especially on Fark.
 
2006-12-06 10:21:00 AM
What? A UK thread and no Cybermen references? SHAME!
 
2006-12-06 10:37:38 AM
Honest Bender
I'd rather wait in a long line than give them biometric data about myself.

What makes you think they're not gathering biometric data? Isn't that why they have you stand still for so long?

/paranoia can be fun
//if you just relax and enjoy it
 
2006-12-06 11:02:49 AM
sign me up.
 
2006-12-06 01:51:10 PM
I'm flying 175,000km in 2006, on 13 different airlines, through 27 airports in 9 countries on 4 continents. Check-in and security screening are mind-numbingly simple and for the most part standard, worldwide. Give the check-in person a passport and your checked bag(s), get a boarding pass, put anything metal in your carry-on, go through security, done. Yawn.

What really pisses me off, though, are the stupidly inconsistent responses to "terror." Almost any international trip is going to have different rules and procedures in each direction as a result of this nonsense.

For example: because someone on a flight to the US tried to blow up his shoes, passengers flying from the US now have to take their shoes off. Most other countries don't give a shiat about shoes.

Because some people were allegedly going to mix liquids and gels with bad results, you can't take bottled water through security in the US or Europe, or in parts of Asia on flights to the US or flights operated by US carriers. Other places, they couldn't care less. And in the places that take water away at security, what happens airside varies. In the US, you can buy more in the secure area and take it on the plane. In the UK, you may not be able to take it on the plane at all. In the EU, you can buy it, but it has to stay in a sealed plastic bag until you're on the plane, so you don't get tempted to try to create an explosive by mixing it with whatever else you buy in the secure area, like, um, cheese.

Then there's carry-ons. The Brits, for some bizarre reason, have decided that each passenger may only have one carry-on, period, and no "small personal item" like a purse, laptop bag, camera bag, or whatever. The EU and US haven't yet matched this level of inconvenience. Oh, and some Brit airlines (*cough*Ryanair*cough*) limit how much your carry-on can weigh, and have special low limits on checked bag weight too. In fact, when I flew to Scotland for 2 days, they limited my checked bag to 20kg... then dropped the limit to 15kg before my return flight!

So all the Borg assimilation does is speed up something that's already easy and standardized... and it only does it at one airport, so you end up having yet another way in which your return flight's rules and procedures will be totally different than those of your outbound flight.

Farking wankers. Earning top-tier elite status this year had better get me better treatment in 2007.
 
2006-12-06 09:12:48 PM
dbirchall: The Brits, for some bizarre reason, have decided that each passenger may only have one carry-on, period, and no "small personal item" like a purse, laptop bag, camera bag, or whatever.

but if you tie your bags together by the handles, they count as one bag. at least, that's always worked for me.

this also works for checked baggage. whenever my ski team travels anywhere, we duct tape our ski bags together to comply with the two checked bags per person limit. paying a little more for overweight is way cheaper than paying for an extra bag
 
2006-12-07 05:49:22 AM
dbirchall: you can't take bottled water through security in the US or Europe

Well you can if it's in a transparent container and less than 100ml! (ie. about a thimble worth)
 
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