FARK.com: (2447912) If you had the power, which annoying behavior would you outlaw?

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(Some Guy)		If you had the power, which annoying behavior would you outlaw? (google.com)		616
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9331 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Dec 2006 at 6:32 PM | Favorite | share:

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1point21Jigowatts		2006-12-01 10:30:40 PM

People who think they have an inherent god-given right to never be annoyed by other peoples' behavior.

1point21Jigowatts		2006-12-01 10:32:34 PM

oh yeah, and cry-babies that biatch about secondhand smoke.

pixeled		2006-12-01 10:33:01 PM

Atheists who think because they don't believe means they don't have to show respect for your beliefs.

i don't show respect for people who believe in the tooth fairy.

/doesn't suffer fools

TheGabe		2006-12-01 10:33:28 PM

Motorcycles and other vehicles whose exhaust volumes are several times the legal limit.

Trucks & cars whose headlights aren't correctly aimed, resulting in blinding reflections from my rear-view mirror.

/don't forget the damn walkie-talkie cell phones...

Richard Roma		2006-12-01 10:34:17 PM

Using the word "liberal" as a slur.

evilgreg		2006-12-01 10:35:28 PM

Irritating me. If I "had the power", then anything that irritates me would be punishable by death.

JonnyG		2006-12-01 10:36:37 PM

TheGabe:

Actually, I've been looking for one of these walkie-talkie cellphones. What are they called, are they compatible with GMRS and does anyone know if they are available in Canada?

citizen905		2006-12-01 10:38:20 PM

prayer

Nothing more pathetic than begging an imaginary friend to give you stuff.

ioduae		2006-12-01 10:45:23 PM

Turning amusing threads into debates about PMS.

Tucci		2006-12-01 10:54:08 PM

Incorrect use of the apostrophe.

www.voidspace.org.uk

InteriorDesignNinja		2006-12-01 10:54:16 PM

Attention-whoring.

FrankenPengie		2006-12-01 10:54:45 PM

Fear mongering. That crap's getting *reall* annoying.

Trayal		2006-12-01 10:55:01 PM

People that drive slow in the fast lane when you can't pass, then speed up when you do try to pass when there is a large enough clearing in the adjacent lane. Especially if they are talking on their #$*&^ cell phone.

Oh, and people that can't stop and, you know, think about things... they have to be spoon fed all answers to their problems, but since they don't understand the answers they keep forgetting them.

Scorched Colon		2006-12-01 10:55:08 PM

Cell phones.

You are not so important that you need a phone with you where ever you go.

Peace On Earth		2006-12-01 11:04:06 PM

robogun, Hickory-smoked, I've got your back.

Mmmmm, Hickory-smoked robogun *salivates*

SpaceCowboy		2006-12-01 11:09:40 PM

Thanks for deleting my voting entry and not my non-voting entry, gimpy mod.

clambam		2006-12-01 11:09:44 PM

People who walk five abreast down the sidewalk, blocking all access. They all seem to be Asian too.

Also, gay people referring to their "partners." I don't care if you're gay. If you're married to a man, he's your husband. If you're dating another woman, she's your girlfriend. What's the point in legalizing gay marriage if all you end up with is a partner? A partner's someone you're in business with, not a squeeze.

AnotherDisillusionedCollegeStudent		2006-12-01 11:21:48 PM

Trolling on message boards

Wraithbane		2006-12-01 11:37:21 PM

Afecks
I laugh at adults that believe in ghosts, monsters and other superstitions, sometimes in their face. Respect is reserved for logical people.

I laugh at idiots who refer to themselves as logical for disputing anything beyond their limited comprehension.

williehorton
/Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion...

Ah thanks! I'd outlaw idiots repeating that phrase who have no clue as to what it actually means.

biglot		2006-12-01 11:40:50 PM

Tobacco factories and churches.

lazyguy687		2006-12-01 11:44:44 PM

wow. you can really see the difference between TFer's and non tfer's as soon as the first wave of non TFer's came in.

/wants to be a TFer agian
//but i also need beer money :(

Welcome to the Machine		2006-12-01 11:48:23 PM

People who do not know the difference between THEN and THAN

/about everything else has been covered

bring_it		2006-12-01 11:53:39 PM

I'd eliminate all the laws and let things work themselves out. The mouth breathing people would be stabbed in the neck by the loud chewers. The tailgaters will be squashed by the slow people in the fast lane. The loud stereo people will be burned at the stake by the bible thumpers. After a while there won't be any assholes with 60 items in the express lane when I arrive at the grocery.

some_random_guy		2006-12-01 11:54:52 PM

breathing

Welcome to the Machine		2006-12-01 11:59:06 PM

Wraithbane
/Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion...

Ah thanks! I'd outlaw idiots repeating that phrase who have no clue as to what it actually means.

Believing with you that religion is a matter which lies solely between man and his God, that he owes account to none other for his faith or his worship, that the legislative powers of government reach actions only, and not opinions, I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should 'make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,' thus building a wall of separation between church and State.
-Thomas Jefferson, letter to Danbury Baptist Association, CT., Jan. 1, 1802

What influence, in fact, have ecclesiastical establishments had on society? In some instances they have been seen to erect a spiritual tyranny on the ruins of the civil authority; on many instances they have been seen upholding the thrones of political tyranny; in no instance have they been the guardians of the liberties of the people. Rulers who wish to subvert the public liberty may have found an established clergy convenient auxiliaries. A just government, instituted to secure and perpetuate it, needs them not.
-James Madison

The purpose of separation of church and state is to keep forever from these shores the ceaseless strife that has soaked the soil of Europe with blood for centuries.
-James Madison

I think it means that they were smart enough to want to keep religious beliefs out of government.
You know, human law, natural law first. Keep your fairy tales to yourself and keep them out of my gubmint.

dettigersnw22		2006-12-02 12:12:50 AM

laziness at work

CitizenjaQ		2006-12-02 12:15:40 AM

I would smite all those who, when I'm waiting at a stop sign to make a left turn, slow down and stop when they don't have the stop sign to wave me through. You're not being nice, you're being confusing.

dumb_n00b		2006-12-02 12:17:30 AM

If you search for "Weird Al" she says, "Weird."

/Yes, I'm 14
//Not sex-obsessed like you guys, not that there's anything wrong with that
///Female, anyway
/Ever heard of "Da'iri"? Also mildy amusing

Cupajo		2006-12-02 12:18:56 AM

chicks who don't do anal

felixecho		2006-12-02 12:27:38 AM

I would change three nasty habits.

1. Farting. (or at least the smell factor)
2. Nucular.
3. Overeating.

Wraithbane		2006-12-02 12:31:38 AM

Welcome to the Machine
I think it means that they were smart enough to want to keep religious beliefs out of government.
You know, human law, natural law first. Keep your fairy tales to yourself and keep them out of my gubmint.

Which goes to show why I'd outlaw it...Church of England ring a bell? They did not want churches (the "establishment of religion" mentioned) having any political power. It wasn't about restricting someones religion, but about keeping the political structures of a religion out of the political structures of the state. Something about the "free exercise thereof". It's like hearing somebody say that freedom of speech means you can't say anything somebody else finds offensive.

swarms909		2006-12-02 12:33:10 AM

not providing a reach around

poepsel		2006-12-02 12:33:29 AM

TrickyPG		2006-12-02 12:35:23 AM

I hate when females constantly remind you how cold they are when you happen to be outside with them. I don't get too cold, so at least I can laugh at them, which makes it easier to bear.

KeelingLovesCornholes		2006-12-02 12:36:36 AM

Duke University graduates.

MataHari		2006-12-02 12:42:26 AM

aba [TotalFark] wrote

I've taken a fairly large poop before. It's practically the same thing. I have a question for you: What makes PMS an excuse to be a biatch? Is it natural selection that makes your hormones go raging where you have to annoy/piss off everyone around you cause you bleed for a few days?

Definitely a single, bitter man. What, did you gf break your heart recently?

Akroma_Eyes		2006-12-02 12:48:17 AM

White idiots blasting rap music!

natalieee		2006-12-02 12:52:51 AM

- people getting defensive when they find out i'm vegan, and then trying to switch me back to omnivore (i guess?) by insulting me and hurting my feelings

- interrupting people, or rather, people interrupting me

- know-it-all's. omg. :c shut uuuppp.

- a lot of traditions. they're annoying. i'm talking about "thank-you cards," and all those annoying sayings like "knock on wood!" omgggggggg.

- religious... anything. yes. anything religious.

- lots of stuff, because i'm a woman, i get PMS before, during, and after bleeding for ten days with severe back pain, cramping, headaches, and nausea. D:

BV		2006-12-02 01:00:15 AM

Things That Drive Me Batshiat Crazy

1) People that biatch about me smoking.
2) People that stop and have a little powwow in the middle of the hallways, impeding ALL TRAFFIC BOTH WAYS.
3) Bigotry.
4) Misspelled words.
5) Improper use of apostrophes.
6) Rude people.
7) People that interrupt me when I'm in the middle of a sentence.
8) Other girls that can't go anywhere (most importantly to the bathroom) alone.
9) People that talk on their cell phone while driving.
10) People that talk on their cell phone excessively loudly while in public.
11) Those godforsaken Nextel phones.

The list could go on and on.

kibblesnbits		2006-12-02 01:03:01 AM

Rynnakat [TotalFark] \>
xxwumpusxx: I'd say it's mostly my own attitude that she feeds off of, but keep your damn hands off my dog when she growls, and when I warn you repeatedly, jesus.

I dig the clip on the harness fabric's on the working dogs that say "please do not touch me, I have to work."

I actually got a service dog style vest for my pupper when I was doing a lot of advanced training with her. She's very friendly and social, but people kept interfering with us. She's not only very cute, but people so rarely see a well trained dog, so she got a lot of attention.

It did NOT say she was a service animal, since she's not. And I wouldn't try to pass her off as one, that's wrong to me. But it did say "in training" and "don't pet me, I'm working". And it helped a lot too. xxwumpusxx, you may want to consider something like that before someone gets hurt (be it from you or the dog!)

My top annoying behavior is people who get do more research on getting a digital camera than getting a living animal as a pet. That kills a hell of a lot of critters who don't deserve it.

/second: if I make an obvious and sincere attempt to make sure my smoke goes nowhere near you (like keeping myself 20' away downwind and yes I really do check the breeze), and the wind changes direction for a millisecond, scowling at me nastily right off the bat is NOT going to make me try harder to be nice about it!

Oznog		2006-12-02 01:06:41 AM

Ironic, no?

Hot Lunch		2006-12-02 01:17:08 AM

I'm going to post on behalf of this guy I ran into in Uno's and say "Talking loudly at a crowded restaurant in the mall." Apparently, that's a good reason to come over and ask me to go outside

crypt0z0ic		2006-12-02 01:17:21 AM

kibblesnbits:

if I make an obvious and sincere attempt to make sure my smoke goes nowhere near you (like keeping myself 20' away downwind and yes I really do check the breeze), and the wind changes direction for a millisecond, scowling at me nastily right off the bat is NOT going to make me try harder to be nice about it!

I try to stay away from others also, but even at a hundred yards away, there are always a few self-righteous idiots that feel the need to do the "fake cough". The "fake cough" irritates me and makes me wonder why I even bother to be considerate to these people.

Suki		2006-12-02 01:19:16 AM

1. People who shout into their cell phones about their digestive or gynecological problems

2. Politicians who form subcommittees to regulate something that they know nothing about (i.e., technology, medicine)

3. Clueless folks who wander around with their mouths hanging open, often stopping abruptly on a busy sidewalk

4. Rudeness

5. People who don't RSVP to a party, or who show up at my house unannounced

6. Telemarketers

7. People who don't use turn signals. I happen to know an idiot who claims she doesn't use her signals because, "I know where I'm going." Yep, she really said that.

Ahh, thanks, Subby! I feel better after venting.

Comrade438		2006-12-02 01:43:08 AM

FRENCH fries

Comrade438		2006-12-02 01:44:43 AM

The eating of, anyhow.

Holly_Wight		2006-12-02 01:48:17 AM

Monogamy

/voting just because

Overused Expression		2006-12-02 01:56:30 AM

People who talk in movie theaters should not be jailed.
They should be disemboweled. Slowly.

Vosh		2006-12-02 01:59:55 AM

Crackers who ape hip hop mannerisms and lingo. It's retarded when the ghettofabs do it. When the cracker school principal, or a cracker politician or middle aged 1950's looking tv presenter does it, retarded throws its hands in the air.

AuroraLeigh		2006-12-02 02:10:46 AM

Men who do not flush the urinals.

It's right there! You don't even have to do the awkward backwards-turn to get at the handle... it's right in front of you!!

...actually, just failing to flush in a public washroom in general.

/recreation center janitor in high school

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