Mmm... Bacon Flavored Stolen Almonds.

\What? No such thing?
\\Well, there should be!
\\\Got Nothing.

Onion rings joke?

So if you're going to Sacramento, better hold on to your nuts.

We have Onion Rings.

//mmmmm onion rings

San Francisco has loose sphincter rings

//got nothing either
//can't spell

I once pinched someone's almond ring.
The results were spectularrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Old news?

The last paragraph was exactly the same as one earlier in the artical.

Not this old chestnut again

A Stanislaus County task force received a tip Sunday night and began the investigation with the Sacramento Police Department.

Sounds like the two suspects were narced on by someone who felt left out.

Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't.

People in California will go to any length to get some nuts in their mouths.

/nuthin'

cashowned?

/I'm tired

WhitePac: The last paragraph was exactly the same as one earlier in the artical.

The last paragraph was exactly the same as one earlier in the article.

Nougat busted with stolen almonds.

So let's bring this debate to the Fark community:

Is it pronounced "allmonds" or "ah-monds"?

/area native, pronounces it allmonds
//everyone says I'm wrong
///wouldn't be the first time

This doctor walks into a bar, where he is a regular. He sits down, and the bartender already knows what to get him: an almond daiquiri.

Day after day, the doctor comes in after a long, hard day's work. The bartender keeps giving him his almond daiquiris.

One night, to his suprise, the bartender finds he is out of almonds. Panicked, he tries desperately to find a solution.

He whips up the closest thing he can get, and brings it to the doctor. He takes one sip, and spits it out all over the place.

"What is this?!? This isn't an almond daiquiri"

The bartender replied: "You're right. It's a Hickory Daiquiri, doc."

MMMM...Forbidden Almonds....

/geesh...state workers, military, call centers...even our crime here is boring...
//Sac Farker

Steal all you want. We'll make more.

/just dated myself?

coralfixation
So let's bring this debate to the Fark community:

Is it pronounced "allmonds" or "ah-monds"?

/area native, pronounces it allmonds
//everyone says I'm wrong
///wouldn't be the first time

I was born in Tennessee, have lived in California for 25 years. I've always said "ALL-munds".

That's nuthin' - Here in San Diego we have Avocado and Poinsettia thiefs.

SkunkWorx

Nuts Found in Sac Warehouse?

I am glad I am not the only one who found that funny!

SkunkWorx MiamiChef

Funnier after replacing every instance of almonds and goods with nuts in the article.

Police Find Stolen nuts Hidden In Sac Warehouse
The Nuts Are Reportedly Worth Over $400K

The suspects had allegedly been selling the nuts through their Indian nuts company to small shops around the central valley and the bay area.

Growers from the central valley have come to collect their stolen nuts, the nuts and walnuts are reportedly valued at over $400,000.

Is it pronounced "allmonds" or "ah-monds"?

I am an area native, and I pronounce it "ah-monds."

I knew a family of almond farmers, they pronounced it "AM-onds". However, they probably had an average IQ of 70.

This is how my city gets on FARK. Sigh.


AquaX
I am an area native, and I pronounce it "ah-monds."
what, do you live in Rio Linda? It's ALL-MONDS.

not amused

Betcha it was planned by squirrels. There's a shaitload of them all over the CSU Sacramento campus, and if there's trees in Sacramento, there'll be squirrels.

On another note, for reasons like this we need a California tag.

chemical_angel
This is how my city gets on FARK. Sigh.
That's kinda what I thought when I RTFA. Stolen almonds, the Governator... Is there something that we're known for that isn't the potential for a Fark cliche?

Is it pronounced "allmonds" or "ah-monds"?

I once asked this question of an honest-to-God almond grower in Vacaville, outside of Sacramento. She said that when they are still on the tree, they are pronounced "All-monds". To get them off the tree to harvest them, they have to knock the "L" out of them.

I second the CA tag.
We CA Farkers are a bit nuts.

/I'm sorry.

L33t Squirrel
Sadly, I wracked my wee brain and, no.
Kozmopoliskepticalopsis
I once asked this question of an honest-to-God almond grower in Vacaville, outside of Sacramento. She said that when they are still on the tree, they are pronounced "All-monds". To get them off the tree to harvest them, they have to knock the "L" out of them.
do you work for SNL? ;P

g0ldylox
I've just got to ...

stealing almond rings?

Mmmmmm, almond rinnnngggssss.

^^^ what Futoru said.