Excellent headline.

So, where do I go to get a chalupa?

i see what you did there, subby

good one :)

Mid-Missouri (I-70) has the most sex shops i've ever seen in an 80 mile stretch. at least they did a few years ago.

I, for one, welcome our suburban sex shops.

This will make it easier for me to get my jerk on.

headline FTW!

As opposed to... child sex shops?

/still have to go into the city for that, I guess

Wanna see my BIG 4 lane freeway baby ??

/ Dats right, park dat booty right there.

Screw leaving the house for visual aides & toys.

Can someone please remind me why we have the internet?


/suburbia is more scary than a shady sex shop
//everybody should get aides!

What? No reference to the headlined "suburban strip malls" yet ?
Farkers are slipping!

obvious tag got the day off or what?

There's been sex shops in the suburbs for a long time now...

tee hee hee! orgasms.

don't ever search for 'rubber fist' at work.

TMYK

Adult Sex Shops...

is there another kind?

What's the point if they don't offer test drives?

/Needs to buy the GF more batteries

Wait, you mean people have sex in the suburbs? P'shaw, I'm not buying it. Not for one cotton-pickin' second.

damn it Dragoon

Maybe I'm naiive, but:

We have this sex toy shop in our (Baltimore) area, which ran commercials near the end of 2005 where various toys and videos would slowly fall into a bag while a voice described the store's wares and location. This is all well and good.

But about halfway through, a rubber ducky fell into the bag. Why?

Submitter is teh winner.

IAmASmallGoat
Another tip: Don't search for Hairy Potter either - Harry is OK though.

theincrediblemoo
But about halfway through, a rubber ducky fell into the bag. Why?

to make bath-time so much fun

Honey can you pick up a gallon of milk a dozen eggs and a three pack of studded cock rings?

You jackin' it?

The article was no big deal. What's scary is this:



This is the face of the company, to show that it's woman-friendly. I should think they ought to use a woman to demonstrate this.

Didn't know Rick Romero was a Farker.

"'I figured, if it works for Dick Enrico and Denny Hecker, it's got to work for me. I mean, hell, I'm better looking than they are,' she joked."

Uh, no, you're not.

pdieten:
This is the face of the company, to show that it's woman-friendly. I should think they ought to use a woman to demonstrate this.

Ouch.

/hilarious though

We have "Lovers Lane" all over the place. There's one right below our favorite chinese place so we'll usually stop in to browse or buy stuff.

Adman - payday loans are in teh suburbs too. Just b/c they lease a Jaguar doesn't mean they can afford to drive it.

dogfood:Honey can you pick up a gallon of milk a dozen eggs and a three pack of studded cock rings?

Yes, Mistress.

Good show, subby

Sex shops are all fine and dandy, however most of them are riddled with creepy people galore.

We have one here locally that's not that bad. The shopping area is wide open, well lit, and things are always clearly marked and on display.

They will at your request open packaging so that you can see the product before purchase most of the time as well.

The one thing they do tell me however is that you want to avoid the backroom since it's mostly just gay men back there. Not that there is anything wrong with that mind you, but if the wife and I wanna get frisky ina public place, that is apparently not a good location.

See, this is what happens when the cut-and-runner-gay-agenda-baby-killer crew takes the House and Senate!

/Joking. Actually quite pleased about this.

pdieten

I always wondered what Linda Ronstadt was up to these days.

OH! And Lover's Lane employes chicks. And they know about their products. My gf wanted this one dildo but she didn't like it's color...it was a black cock. So she asked the girl for a white one. The girl said that model's skin "STINKS LIKE shiat" and recommended a few others she liked better.

Since I'm obviously the one who gets stuck buying this stuff, I appreciated her help. If i dropped $50 on a dildo only to have my gf thumb her nose at it, I'd have to smack a biatch.

Ba-bark bark-a woof bark?

She brings homely home.

...spare personal effects stored in the hallways.

I shudder to think.

'Course, that doesn't mean I won't go take a peek.

That's kind of a weird business to be passed on to the next generation. How do you tell your kid that when they get older you want them to take over the family dildo shop?

vanity

I imagine any dildo within 100 feet of you is eventually going to stink like shiat.


\sorry couldn't help myself.

I was all for vanity and his evolved sense of sex until I hit his last sentence.

Right.

Yes, Lover's Lane employees know their stuff! And i mean that!

/couples who play together, stay together!

If i dropped $50 on a dildo only to have my gf thumb her nose at it, I'd have to smack a biatch.

$50 is cheap! We hit "The Red Door" here in Charlotte and I dropped $90 on some mechanical monstrosity that my wife wanted. I tried to use it, but you need training to handle it (I felt like a monkey trying to use a lightsaber). Some of the other items were WELL over $100. I think I'd find the same thing online for $45 - $50 if I looked, but that's a habit I can't afford to acquire...

theincrediblemoo: But about halfway through, a rubber ducky fell into the bag. Why?

Ask, and ye shall receive:

Oh and btw.....GIGGITY!

NCg8r

Have you used it more than once? We have about 13 various toys, most of which were used once. MAYBE twice. It always sounds like an awesome time in theory, and you're so excited to go home and get at it....but when the second time comes around to use it it's just like "MEH, we'll leave it under the bed"

That's not an issue at my house. OVER-use is a bigger concern....

GIGGITY!!
i for one appreciate the head shops becoming more popular in the burbs...now when i break a pipe i dont have to drive over to the next county! yay! oh yeah and the toys are fun too

/couples who play together...have more freaky sex! WUT WUT!
//yay sex!

NCg8r: $50 is cheap! We hit "The Red Door" here in Charlotte and I dropped $90 on some mechanical monstrosity that my wife wanted. I tried to use it, but you need training to handle it (I felt like a monkey trying to use a lightsaber). Some of the other items were WELL over $100. I think I'd find the same thing online for $45 - $50 if I looked, but that's a habit I can't afford to acquire...


I concur... however it's not like the male toys are cheap. The shop here in town gives a discount to females on Sundays and Mondays on all product.. 20% significant amount when your talking stuff that can cost well over 100 dollars.

Something every toy box should have however is at least four things.

Small flared, textured but plugg with mini egg insertion
Wireless soft gel rabbit vibe
Flexible waterproof egg vibe wand
And a fleshlight (in whatever insert you feel comfortable with)

Those four things will keep the two of you very very happy for quite some time.

/ohh yea and stock up on water based lube.. I rocommend this stuff if you can find it.

"And the homeless shelters? I guess they'll have to open those after the McMansion bubble pops."

I see no reason to deprive the homeless of the "joy" of commuting to work in the city.

I wanted a fleshlight and built one online. I was APPALLED to see they cost over $60.