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(AFP)   Chimps prefer MILFS   ( divider line
    More: Cool  
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21635 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Nov 2006 at 4:33 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

120 Comments     (+0 »)

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2006-11-20 05:06:32 PM  
Who doesn't like a MILF?! Waste of a submission.
2006-11-20 05:07:19 PM  
You're a Mean Drunk R2D2

I don't think chimps have menopause, so there's no reason why an older one would be worse for procreation than a younger one. I don't see that social patterns has anything to do with it.

I think you're basically right about the menopause thing. Female chimps do eventually have something similar to menopause, but they tend to die shortly thereafter, while human females live on, often for decades.

The point that was being made is that the human male preference for younger females is different than the chimpanzee male preference for older (not just post-pubescent) females. The new hypothesis is that long-term coupling in humans makes it more rational (for males) to choose a younger mate rather than an older one who is likely to kick the bucket before you do.

As for why the male chimps choose to try to procreate with older females, later in their reproductive life, well, experience is the best teacher?
2006-11-20 05:07:37 PM  
dogfood.. I LOL'd. You made my day.

[image from too old to be available]
2006-11-20 05:08:03 PM  
Sorry I believe it is still biological and not sociological.

re Chimpanzees: The Labia (that pink protuberance Muller mentions) is larger in older females. This is likely a result from that swelling and expansion of giving birth and multiple estrous cycles.

Therefore the Chimp MILFs have bigger assets that advertise their availability even before the first timers are showing the "fertility signals".

/long time since primate studies, but this article screamed opinions and generalizations.
2006-11-20 05:09:00 PM  
Chimps prefer Cougars.

2006-11-20 05:09:27 PM  
Martin_Sargent: Whats a MILFS?

Mom I'd Like to Fark Sideways?
2006-11-20 05:09:28 PM  
dogfood: Who needs a milf when you can do this?

Fark never ceases to amaze me.
2006-11-20 05:10:37 PM  
I'm a bad monkey.
2006-11-20 05:13:49 PM  
I'd wager that age, maturity, and confidence as aspects of sexual attraction are almost completely social elements, and have very little genetic basis at all.

There was a study cited in a Wikipedia article (I thought it was the article on ephebophilia, but I can't find the citation now) that said that a when males aged 5-80, from I presume a variety of races/cultures, were shown pictures of women, it was abundantly clear that they all had a preference for those aged approximately 17.

That doesn't necessarily dismiss the cultural side of things. What I think can be accurately said is that all males from all cultures have a bell curve of attractiveness, and that the middle part of that curve sits on age 17. Different cultures and different males will however have wider or narrower attraction age bell curves.
2006-11-20 05:14:05 PM  
"Contrary to his own expectations, Martin Muller of Boston University found after years of observation that male chimpanzees consistently sought out the oldest females within a troop for sexual intercourse."

after my initial gross out factor, I realized something: this anthropologist got paid to watch old chimps fark.

2006-11-20 05:15:43 PM  
dogfood wins the internet.
2006-11-20 05:15:44 PM  
I went to the trouble of posting a picture of a very nice young lady, and the best the rest of you can do is autofellating monkeys and washed up TV stars?

Today, I am ashamed to be a farker.
2006-11-20 05:15:54 PM  
"Males have the run of the field, and will typically copulate in succession with half-a-dozen willing partners, who sometimes literally line up to wait their turn."

on the flip side, they have THAT going for them...
2006-11-20 05:19:29 PM  
So chimps respond to different stimuli than people. Big deal.
2006-11-20 05:20:27 PM  
Why would they prefer older mates if they are more likely to die off during child care due to disease? Doesn't make alot of sense to me. I don't know alot about chimp families so perhaps they all take turns protecting each mother's young. If this were the case then the age wouldn't matter anyway. I guess they don't have to deal with the greater likelyhood of genetic defects later in life either. Then again, the more experienced mother may have better luck defending herself and her young.
2006-11-20 05:22:15 PM  
rodeofrog That is what we send from other people's machines if they leave without locking it.
2006-11-20 05:23:56 PM  
UM...I am pretty sure that's a baby monkey sucking its umbilical cord. Compare it to this pic of a baby Rhesus monkey:

[image from too old to be available]
2006-11-20 05:24:37 PM  
could be they like the proven performers-ones who have had children and are likely to do so again
2006-11-20 05:24:41 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2006-11-20 05:25:47 PM  
A female chimpanzee reaches sexual maturity when she is about 10 years old, visible in the form of a pink protuberance around the genitals.

2006-11-20 05:26:17 PM  
Well you all might as well post that picture in every other thread now... just in case anyone has missed it.
2006-11-20 05:28:45 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2006-11-20 05:28:49 PM  
Males have the run of the field, and will typically copulate in succession with half-a-dozen willing partners, who sometimes literally line up to wait their turn.

dogfood, wow, with that genius you may have a line yourself...
2006-11-20 05:30:25 PM  
Umbilical cord or schlong, it's a funny picture, if for no other reason than its absurdity....

I swear to Fark, some of you have your panties so knotted up, they couldn't be cut free with bolt cutters!
2006-11-20 05:30:55 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2006-11-20 05:31:23 PM  
"Males have the run of the field, and will typically copulate in succession with half-a-dozen willing partners, who sometimes literally line up to wait their turn"

/Heh. like at my house...
//*sigh* not really.
2006-11-20 05:32:11 PM  

That makes since. Even in our species, males would mate with the woman they find most physically attractive or well endowed in certain areas. Even ignoring any other biological disadvantages the women may have. Seems like women do the job in finding a mate who could be the better survivor.
2006-11-20 05:32:39 PM  
Umbilical cord! Right. Then where's its cock? I see teh balls.
2006-11-20 05:33:03 PM  
since = sense
2006-11-20 05:33:53 PM  
Cue danlpoon.
2006-11-20 05:34:34 PM  
OK, then.
[image from too old to be available]
2006-11-20 05:35:47 PM  

That picture needs a caption.

Something like "Dames... who needs them?"
2006-11-20 05:36:46 PM  
Well, i guess that explains danlpoon ...
2006-11-20 05:38:35 PM  
Autofellating Monkeys is SO going to be my neo-post-modern folk rock band name...
2006-11-20 05:39:22 PM  
Photoshop this self sufficient monkey!
2006-11-20 05:40:12 PM  
What, no Laura Bush jokes yet? I'm disappointed in you, Farkers.
2006-11-20 05:42:01 PM  
They don't have birth control. Of course they're gonna go for the equivalent of the gray-haired pastrami pussy. Also, according to Wiki; "Chimpanzees rarely live past the age of 40 in the wild".
So what's a "mature" chimp lady? 20? 25?
2006-11-20 05:43:29 PM  


That picture needs a caption.

Something like "Dames... who needs them?"

I like it! Then you can sell them as posters. I think they'd even outsell those "Hang In There Baby" posters with the cat hanging off a branch.
2006-11-20 05:43:37 PM  
I've never understood why so many people think monkeys are so cute. They're hideous, ugly, smelly, vile little creatures with thumbs. What's to love? And did I mention that they're also uglier than sin? Jesus Christ I hate monkeys...Especially orangutans, but especially chimps!!! What's so cute about a species of animals that all look like fur covered George Dubyas? Stupid farkin' monkeys....

/end stupid nonsensical rant
//I hate monkeys
2006-11-20 05:45:19 PM  
You know what this thread needs? A picture of a monkey sucking itself off.
2006-11-20 05:46:25 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2006-11-20 05:46:55 PM  
i wonder what the milfcruiser has to say about this
2006-11-20 05:50:43 PM  
What??? All this and no one say "I like monkeys"? Because I like monkeys...
2006-11-20 05:58:10 PM  
new cliche?

more pics of milfs please
2006-11-20 06:00:13 PM  
You guys are slipping... where are the marginally SFW MILF photos?
2006-11-20 06:02:58 PM  

You guys are slipping... where are the marginally SFW MILF photos?

Don't really care...I'm still stuck on the pic of danlpoon.

/Sorry if that offends you hon...but you're hot...
2006-11-20 06:10:17 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2006-11-20 06:11:57 PM  
That's a coincidence. I prefer older chimps too.
2006-11-20 06:13:40 PM  
who the hell wants a virgin anyway, all they do is cry the whole time. give me a woman who can take it!

/real man
//not really
///not even close
2006-11-20 06:15:13 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
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