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(Some Guy)   Kindergartener suspended after using his Swiss Army knife to open his lunch at school   ( divider line
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5057 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Nov 2006 at 2:40 AM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

104 Comments     (+0 »)

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2006-11-16 01:29:16 AM  
The kid shouldn't be expelled, but his parents need a good cockpunching for letting a 5-year-old have a pocket knife.
2006-11-16 02:43:37 AM  
I had a Swiss Army Knife, when I was like 6 or 7, and the world did not end.

A knife in the hands of a kindergartner is no more dangerous than a #2 pencil.
2006-11-16 02:43:53 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

/one day
2006-11-16 02:44:37 AM  
zero-tolerance policies suck ass
2006-11-16 02:45:04 AM  
2006-11-16 02:47:44 AM  
"That ain't a knife. This is a knife."

[image from too old to be available]
2006-11-16 02:48:09 AM  
Panic if he woulda wipped out one of these:
[image from too old to be available]
2006-11-16 02:50:05 AM  
I had a .22 rifle when I was 5. I didn't take it to school, and the world didn't end, either.

This stuff is getting out of control. On the list of banned items at the courthouse now is a P38. Not the handgun, the tiny can opener.
2006-11-16 02:54:00 AM  
A five year old child with a knife?

At five, my seven year old had the impulse control of an ADHD addled rhesus monkey.

/that's some good parenting there Cletus.
2006-11-16 02:56:34 AM  
I had a .22 rifle when I was 5. I didn't take it to school, and the world didn't end, either.

I disagree with the zero-tolerance policies and how this case was handled, but I'm horrified to side myself with some Farkers.
2006-11-16 02:57:27 AM  
That's ridiculous.

The kids who came to school without knives are the ones who should be suspended.
2006-11-16 02:58:00 AM  
There's nothing wrong with letting a kid having a knife, but he should have known not to bring it to school. He wasn't trying to hurt anyone with it. He just wanted to show off his new toy.
2006-11-16 02:59:10 AM  
I had a Swiss Army Knife, when I was like 6 or 7, and the world did not end.

So did I. I even brought it to school once or twice too. But even at 7, I knew to keep it a secret. And that was 30 years ago.
2006-11-16 03:02:16 AM  
I wouldn't trust a 5 yr old with anything sharp. Kids are stupid. I get to spend a lot of time yelling at them at work.

2006-11-16 03:02:23 AM  
In high school, we had a guy suspended for having a knife in auto shop. He was using it to cut hoses in an engine and an admin walked in and thew his ass in to detention for the rest of the day and suspended him for a week.

Moral of the story? Admins are just as big of jerks IRL as they are on the internet.
2006-11-16 03:03:13 AM  
it is called zero tolerance for a reason.
2006-11-16 03:06:45 AM  
Well now, there's a few different kinds of Swiss Army Knives. There's the big chop a tree down, rob a bank, scale a fish variety, and then there's the nail-file and dull inch-long butter knife type.

I'm almost positive he didn't have the one that would allow him to single-handedly overthrow the government of a small country.
2006-11-16 03:06:54 AM  
Great Odins Raven,

Which one? Huginn or Muninn?

/Sorry, mythology nerd.
2006-11-16 03:09:46 AM  
Come on... if we let 5 and 6 years old carry swiss army knives in school, then eventually they'll become evil terrorists who will stop at nothing to dominate the world!

[image from too old to be available]

2006-11-16 03:10:04 AM  
you know there is nothing like destroying all hopes of a child for a good education by expelling(sp) him during his first semester of school...

i hate zero tolerance, but the kid is a f'ing kindergartener... and you are going to expel him...
2006-11-16 03:10:55 AM  
I don't know what the laws in Georgia are, but in California he can legally fight it given his knife is under a certain length (I can't remember what for sure, but the most common is it's legal under 3.5 inches).

I carried a knife to school legally, and no one every questioned, except a teacher who hated me. I told her it was legal and even offered to show her the California Education Code saying it was, but she asked for it and to save face I gave it to her. But when she turned her back I just took the knife back and left with it when class was over, was never bothered about it again.

Federal > State > County > District > Municaplity

So if a state law says it is legal, it is legal, as long as the Federal law agrees it is legal.
2006-11-16 03:11:42 AM  
But what if it was a Swiss Army lunch?
2006-11-16 03:11:56 AM  
I had grenades when I was 4 and I turned out ok. This shiat is getting ridiculous.
2006-11-16 03:12:46 AM  

it is called zero tolerance for a reason.

The kid's only been in school for a month or so, and the parents probably learned a lesson too.
2006-11-16 03:15:27 AM  
*shakes fist angrily at the fark filter
its funny a thing
i called my friend who was kiting
you know what he said
its illegal

2006-11-16 03:15:37 AM  
I need to borrow his knife, so I can open up these goddamn CD/DVDs I bought today.

/what does Saxe Gothe mean?
2006-11-16 03:16:17 AM  
What kind of parent would let a 5 year old kid have a knife in the first place, and what don't they understand about zero tolerance? Geez, it's not like you don't read about kids getting suspended every friggin' day for this stuff.
2006-11-16 03:17:17 AM  
best i could find:
2006-11-16 03:19:28 AM  
2006-11-16 03:16:17 AM CruiserTwelve

What kind of parent would let a 5 year old kid have a knife in the first place, and what don't they understand about zero tolerance? Geez, it's not like you don't read about kids getting suspended every friggin' day for this stuff.

truth be told(and as reflected in this thread), kids with swiss army knifes are relatively common. my lil brother when he was five or six, the only thing he wanted was a pocket knife... he saw my dad use his forjust aboot everything and sort of grew fond of it... so from personal experience its not too much of a stretch for a child to have a pocket knife, especially if he lives in an area where it would be handy nearly every day...
2006-11-16 03:19:51 AM  
Sun God: I need to borrow his knife, so I can open up these goddamn CD/DVDs I bought today.

I hate those farking Al Qaida proof CD wrappings. I found that this works the best for those.

[image from too old to be available]
2006-11-16 03:20:02 AM  
Saxe-Goth? Just Saxon mixed with Goth blood, like Anglo-Saxon is Angles and Saxon?
2006-11-16 03:20:41 AM  
What the hell kind of lunch did he have that needed a damn swiss army knife to open anyway?

Did his parents can the crap themselves?

/Damn hilljacks
2006-11-16 03:23:04 AM  
The law in GA is 3" and it can't be a fixed blade. But school rules supercede everything else. AKA it's legal to smoke, but you can't on school grounds, etc.
2006-11-16 03:24:31 AM  
Err, I mean 3.5", my bad
2006-11-16 03:24:47 AM  
Hotwad, in California it is in education code which supercedes the district/schools code.
2006-11-16 03:25:06 AM  
oh yeah...

I got suspendened in the second grade for writing "Fu" on the steamed up windows on the bus. Yeah, I was going for "ck", but I didn't even get there before I was grabbed from my seat. That was almost 30 years ago too. Public school in a shiathole town. I bet you idiots would go ballistic if that made the papers today. I can just hear the screams of "thought police". Assholes.
2006-11-16 03:28:19 AM  
South Carolina, Title 16, Chapter 23

SECTION 16-23-430. Carrying weapons on school property.

(1) It shall be unlawful for any person, except State, county or municipal law-enforcement officers or personnel authorized by school officials, to carry on his person, while on any elementary or secondary school property, a knife, with a blade over two inches long, a blackjack, a metal pipe or pole, firearms or any other type of weapon, device or object which may be used to inflict bodily injury or death.

(2) A person who violates the provisions of this section is guilty of a felony and, upon conviction, must be fined not more than one thousand dollars or imprisoned not more than five years, or both. Any weapon or object used in violation of this section may be confiscated by the law enforcement division making the arrest.

Doesn't seem to have a pocket knife exception, nor is it restricted to auto knives. Huh.

Commence mumbling about how many, many objects found in schools are objects "which may be used to inflict bodily injury or death"...
2006-11-16 03:30:29 AM  

So because some kids are different all should suffer?

BTW: "Army" trifecta in play.

/agrees it was stupid for the kid to bring it to school
//accidently brought his pocketknife to school a few times
///usually found it when I was looking for change or something and said "aww crap" and hid it the rest of the day
2006-11-16 03:33:23 AM  
its not a weapon, its a tool.
if you try to stab someone with a swiss army knife, odds are the blade will fold in on your fingers and the only one hurt will be you.
2006-11-16 03:34:18 AM  
Korovyov, you know, those damn paper cutters when I was a little kid scared the crap out of me when I saw a teacher cut through a huge stack of papers like butter. That thing could seriously cause harm. However, it really boils down to the length of the kids knife. If it was under two inches, one could easily fight it in court saying that a five year having a small, and hopefully not too sharp (but most swiss army knives aren't exactly the sharpest), was not really a device to inflict bodily harm but only a tool to help in every day activities. If the pocket knife was dangerious then you could show how a pencil would be just as dangerous.

In my high school, mouses for the computer were conveniant weapons. You could beat someone with them, the mouseballs could be thrown, choke someone, etc. Books, and large paperback books were good as well, use them to beat a kid and they don't really leave marks. Staplers were also dangerious, etc etc. Hell, just about everything you NEED for school is dangerious.

/For the record I never participated in such horrible activities.
2006-11-16 03:35:52 AM  
I bet there are plenty of pointy sticks and BFR's (Big Farking Rocks) all over the campus.

The purpose of zero tolerance rules are so the administrators don't have to make a decision that they can be held responsible for. They can always blame the "rules" for their incompetence.

The lieutenant wasn't a bad leader because he made bad decisions, he was a bad leader because he made no decisions.
"Band of Brothers"
2006-11-16 03:35:56 AM  
F*ing Christ! I'm 38, a 'bad-smart kid' in HS. I have carried a boot knife through HS and have carried a Swiss knife through airports through 911. I not a farm kid, but a knife is/was a rite of passage at that age. I mean, shiat a Swiss!

Tool is the operative word here. (I realize that some Farkers will wan't to apply that to me) This is just farking sick. Are we heading to a UK Nanny State? ( I love the UK, but c'mon guys!)

Zero Tolerance=not having to think.
/Slahies for slashing!
2006-11-16 03:37:11 AM  
2006-11-16 03:28:19 AM Korovyov

i could take your eye out with these safety scissors....

so that last line of section one pretty much rules out everything.....

and this lovely lil tidbit from my local news:
gloucester county schools, have yellow caution tape around the monkey bars and such, because 5 kids this year have broken an arm...
so no more monkey bars, chinup bars, anything with the word bar.....
what happened to this country, when did we get our balls cut off?
2006-11-16 03:39:03 AM  
2006-11-16 03:34:18 AM Waffen

was scared to death i was going to slip and lose a hand, an arm, a couple of fingers, or worse....

2006-11-16 03:40:57 AM  
Indeed; a better-written law would probably be much less inclusive, ex. having an exception for tools with peaceful purposes.

The headline, incidentally, might be somewhat inaccurate here; there's a difference between a Swiss Army multitool/knife, and a folding knife that is nothing -but- a knife. The SAK might be under 2" blade length, but that seems less likely for a folding knife.

/should go to sleep soon
2006-11-16 03:42:03 AM  
*shrugs* I go everywhere except commercial flights with at least two knife-type objects: a $20 Gerber folding knife [skeletonized handle -- everyone asks if it's illegal...I reply that I bought it at Wal-Mart, and it's totally fine. The fact that it has some parts in the handle milled out makes it look scary [no use to me] and a lot lighter [very useful for me] doesn't make something illegal.) and a Leatherman PST-II. Once you carry a knife and a Leatherman, everything becomes "Leathermanipulable", and you find endless uses for them.

I had a little tiny Swiss Army Knife when I was a little kid (a small blade, a nail file, scissors, tweezers, and a toothpick). Useful for opening various things around the house, cutting paper on my desk (without thinking I was damaging the desk -- oops!), etc.

The kid was using a utility knife for a utility purpose. He endangered nobody, threatened nobody, nor used the knife in any sort of dangerous way. Perhaps it was irresponsible for the parents to give their child a Swiss Army Knife (not knowing the kid or the parents, I withhold judgment), but one cannot honestly blame the child for this. It might make sense to remind him that school rules -- silly though they may be -- state that he isn't allowed to bring that knife onto the property. (Though if my understanding of the law Korovyov posted is correct, a little Swiss Army Knife has a blade less than two inches long, and thus would be exempt. Funny, though, how the police are exempt from the prohibition of carrying these horribly dangerous items, while the rest of us are clearly not responsible to handle a 2.1" bladed knife.)

Laws like this make me mad -- at least put some sort of common sense into it. If the kid's threatening people, waving a knife around, etc., punish him. If he's using a Swiss Army Knife to cut open his lunch (probably a "lunchables" box), let him be.
2006-11-16 03:43:09 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
Most primates use tools to solve problems. Fortunately, humans are not allowed to engage in this dangerous behavior.
2006-11-16 03:55:07 AM  
I used to have a little Swiss Army knife on my keychain. It was useful for cutting open boxes at work, and of course that shrink wrap on CDs. Got confiscated at a concert. I thought of telling the security girl that the blade on my car key was longer than the knife blade, and would probably do more damage to someone if I felt the need to jam it in their kidney, but I thought she'd then ask for that as well.

At least when I was dumb enough to try bringing it into a courthouse they gave me a claim ticket to get it back later.
2006-11-16 03:57:14 AM  
remarkably, I have little to say about this.

I'm keeping my name. I don't care who controls the House.

McCain will bring some things to the table that others will not.

I'm a hippy and I could care less how many Repub's get in the race. Really, the more the merrier. Let them kill themselves on the campaign.

Guess I had more to say than I thought
2006-11-16 04:06:51 AM  
How about this.

Instead of expelling him they could have done what they used to do before EVERYBODY PANIC took over.

Take the knife, put the kid in the Principles office, TALK to kid, call parents, give parents said knife, send kid back to class so he can learn normal social development skills and brag about how he was in the Principles office.

Problem solved.
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