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(Ponoka News)   Nuns beating up nuns, public sex on concrete retaining walls, and naked man-boobs. Just another week in Ponoka   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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9812 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Nov 2006 at 10:37 AM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

39 Comments     (+0 »)
2006-11-03 10:39:13 AM  
That's hawt!
2006-11-03 10:41:58 AM  
"Hello, Expedia? I need the next available flight to Ponoka, Canada! No, I don't care how you do it, just get it done, goddamnit!"
2006-11-03 10:43:58 AM  
Wow, whenever I make the police blotter here it is all business. Ponoka sounds fun.
2006-11-03 10:44:23 AM  
That's got quite a bit of stylistic flair for a police blotter. Someone enojoys their job.
2006-11-03 10:44:33 AM  
i love how this police blotter actually has someone alive on the other end, making witty commentary and working segways.
2006-11-03 10:47:07 AM  
The 35 second Police Blotter Praise Trifecta, presented by ludditemike, novakk, and myself.
2006-11-03 10:50:02 AM  
That's got quite a bit of stylistic flair for a police blotter. Someone enojoys their job.

Either that, or someone in Canada just discovered the Arcata Eye.
2006-11-03 10:52:07 AM  
Me thinks thine article scribe wast born around 1880.
2006-11-03 10:53:26 AM  
Wow. Ponoka. No escapees from the mental hospital this week I guess.

Also, the constable could use an editor to clean up some of his writing, but he gets points for his ironic tone.
2006-11-03 10:53:27 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

/GIS for fighting nuns:

[image from too old to be available]
2006-11-03 10:54:49 AM  
Ponoka's claim to fame is its mental health hospital. If you live in Alberta and you're acting strangely, people might threaten to "Send you to Ponoka."

/Cst. Douglas Enns sounds like a cool cop.
2006-11-03 10:54:59 AM  
Sounds like a typical Saturday night in Ponoka... I know a few people from there. Interesting bunch, that. Wonder if it has anything to do with the mental hospital in town.

/from Edmonton
2006-11-03 10:59:25 AM  
novakkm: i love how this police blotter actually has someone alive on the other end, making witty commentary and working segways.

[image from too old to be available]
2006-11-03 11:04:23 AM  
Well next to Manchester England Ive found another vacation spot.
2006-11-03 11:08:56 AM  
2006-11-03 11:17:37 AM  
Almost posted this blank, got nothing, what could I add?

way ta' go Pononka.
2006-11-03 11:20:51 AM  
That's my hometown.

And I have a sneaking suspicion that I introduced the submitter to the site.

Nearly crapped my pants when I did my daily visit to FARK.

"It's my hometown.... it's my hhooommmeeetttooowwnnn"
2006-11-03 11:36:49 AM  
Beauty Eh
2006-11-03 11:37:43 AM  
Ponoka is like COPS but with a mentally disturbed twist.

I'm glad they didn't have this police blogger when I lived there.

//finally FARK notoriety!
2006-11-03 11:39:37 AM  
HomoHabilis: Me thinks thine article scribe wast born around 1880.

Perhaps a resident from Ponoka got access to Homo's account? Seriously, what does this even mean?
2006-11-03 11:47:51 AM  
I used to work in Ponoka (at the mental hospital) and the police blotter was always a hilarious read. Glad to see its available online as well.

*bookmarked for weekly read
2006-11-03 11:49:05 AM  
Submitter owes me a new keyboard, and some paper towel to wipe off the screen.

Got some funny stares at work I was laughing so hard.
2006-11-03 11:50:35 AM  

Perhaps i can translate for you. He's obviously saying that the polar bears had a cold winter, but that stock prices are heading out with the penguins.
2006-11-03 11:56:44 AM  
A while back I was trying to remember where the hell this police blotter was from. It's been posted here before.

/if only crime here in Baltimore could be joked about
2006-11-03 11:58:57 AM  
3115 visits so far.

Well thats 3314 more than usual.

Oh and Humean_Nature if your name happens to be Cleatus you would fit in just fine.
2006-11-03 12:08:43 PM  
Absolutely the funniest police blotter writing ever!
2006-11-03 12:21:58 PM  
Haha I live in a town south of Ponoka and I remember hearing a newsline on the radio about the guy rubbing his man-boobs on the window!
2006-11-03 12:26:25 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2006-11-03 12:32:11 PM  
Stopped in Ponoka for breakfast yesterday.
No sign of the nuns.
2006-11-03 01:08:40 PM  
That's brilliant having an officer write up the blotter! I would imagine there's all kinds of crazy stuff going on here, too, but the cops never tell us if there is. Have heard a couple funny instances on the scanner though, I suppose...
2006-11-03 01:43:23 PM  
for all those who believed the south would rise again... Alberta is proof.
2006-11-03 01:45:30 PM  
I've been to Ponoka before, it's just another farkwit farming community
2006-11-03 01:53:02 PM  
"We get complaints of speeding motorcycles during times of good weather. We got one a few days ago, which was quite detailed. The caller reported that the motorcycle had passed him at 200 km/h and then sped up after passing him. He was quite certain of the speeds because he recorded the speed on the radar set mounted in his fully marked Alberta Sheriff's Highway Patrol car. Apparently not everyone appreciates the role of the Sheriffs yet. That could prove to be an expensive mistake."

2006-11-03 02:08:42 PM  
Constable Enns, a tip of the whatever-they-call-that-strange-contraption-that-scarcely-resembles-anything-I 'd-ever-put-on-*my*-head hat to ya!!
2006-11-03 02:21:48 PM  
from the "been there, wish I hadn't done that" department:

the only family emergency that they are aware of is the one that won't even start until you get home

( from the Oct 25th blotter )
2006-11-03 03:42:03 PM  
hankhorsey, ROWAN13

Being new-ish to fark, seeing an article about Ponoka is crazy enough... but then seeing fellow farkers discussing the Albertan reference to being sent to Ponoka, I feel like I'm at home...

/Originally from a town about an 1-2 hrs from Ponoka
//Also heard a rumor 50 signatures and 100 bucks could get someone committed...
2006-11-03 10:40:13 PM  
Why does my province only make Fark when it's embarrasing... At least I'm three hours away from that nonsense. Wait, that means I'm still stuck in Bonnyille.
2006-11-04 10:56:05 AM  
Spent many a drunkin binge in ponoka, my best friend lives there. That sounds like a typical saterday night there.
2006-11-04 12:05:32 PM  
moohawk, you dont need 60 signatures.

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