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(Snopes)   What Halloween treats are you giving away tonight?   (snopes.com) divider line 316
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5091 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Oct 2006 at 9:32 AM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2006-10-31 10:48:28 AM
It bugs me when kids from other subs vanpool into our sub for trick-or-treating. The ones from the projects I sort of understand, but the ones from neighborhoods that are just as nice as ours? Get out, ya greedy pigs. Your queen-size pillowcase is already full, so call it a night, why don't ya?

Then again, I'm just as contemptuous of those kids who are from my own neighborhood, whose parents drive them around the subdivision, rather than walking with them. Reminds me of the Thurber (I think) cartoon of the bejeweled woman pushing her 20-something son in a baby stroller, and commenting to a passerby, "Of course he can walk. But thank goodness he doesn't have to!" I really want to walk up to these drivers and say, "Hey, why don't you just print your name and address on cards, stuff one in each mailbox a few days before Halloween, and then we can just mail you some candy, and save you all this idling time?" Asshats.
 
2006-10-31 10:48:34 AM
Last year on Halloween the doorbell rang. I got the bowl ready and went to the door. It was a farking cable guy trying to get people to sign up for cable. I guess he got the bright idea to go out on Halloween since a lot of people would open the door. He made it off the porch, but it probably took awhile to get my shoe out of his butt.
 
2006-10-31 10:49:23 AM
free Sybian rides
 
2006-10-31 10:49:47 AM
cocidicer: YORK PEPERMENT PADIES!

Just don't give away your dictionary.
 
2006-10-31 10:52:28 AM
Proemas: My wife and I plan on turning off the lights because she is scheduled to be induced tomorrow (medicated to induce birth, for you newbies) and we don't want to be bugged. Now, if those kids are willing to wait a day or two, I could have something to give out that will REALLY scare them.

Just wait until you have the baby at home and various people come knocking at your door and/or ringing the doorbell when you just put the baby to sleep. I've been getting a ton of these due to the upcoming elections.
 
2006-10-31 10:54:20 AM
None. I live an apartment building and I work until 10 tonight.
 
2006-10-31 10:54:34 AM
Condoms for the teenagers.....brilliant!
 
2006-10-31 10:54:37 AM
Chick tracts

/not rly
 
2006-10-31 10:56:06 AM
BULLshiat!

Here is the KING of all holiday treats:

Caramel Covered Onions.

Nothing like the look on a little kid's face when he bites into one of those. They don't know until it's far, far too late.
 
2006-10-31 10:56:34 AM
Akbar Knows Best:
free Sybian rides

You'd better have a "Must be THIS tall to ride" sign.

/I'll stop by for the show.
 
2006-10-31 10:57:01 AM
One corn pop per trick or treater. Should be really tasty after gathering lint in the bottom of the bag.
 
2006-10-31 10:59:16 AM
Cpl.D
BULLshiat!
Here is the KING of all holiday treats:
Caramel Covered Onions.
Nothing like the look on a little kid's face when he bites into one of those. They don't know until it's far, far too late.


Nice, but I'm gonna modify it by using garlic cloves and give them with a card with Fred Phelps' web address on it.
Parents gotta love that!
 
2006-10-31 11:00:21 AM
None.

Get off my lawn.

/lives in an apartment
 
2006-10-31 11:02:34 AM
We went a different route this year, no candy.

Cans of candy corn flavored Jones Soda for the big kids and individual packs (nice sized, not those skimpy ones) of goldfish crackers for the wee little ones.
 
2006-10-31 11:03:57 AM
Grandemadaca haha yea i suck at the only language i know
 
2006-10-31 11:04:16 AM
Reese's Feces
 
2006-10-31 11:04:36 AM
WindBreaker: Then again, I'm just as contemptuous of those kids who are from my own neighborhood, whose parents drive them around the subdivision, rather than walking with them.

No candy for them. You can be very fickle. By which I mean you are allowed to. If anyone says different, tell them THE FIRECLOWN said it was OK.

Yes. It was a thurber cartoon.
 
2006-10-31 11:05:08 AM
Adman12: My two-year-old son is going out as a duckling tonight. However, to a true believer, the anthropomorphising of animals is also one of Satan's deceptions. I guess I'm just evil that way.

Never anthropomorphise machines... they hate that.
 
2006-10-31 11:06:26 AM
I'll have about 15 different varieties in my bowl o' treats tonight. But Reeses will dominate, in terms of pure numeric representation.

Giving the kiddies what they want keeps the eggman away.
 
2006-10-31 11:06:52 AM
Mmmrky: I once had neighbors put an empty bowl out with a sign, "Please take one."

We had a neighbor who actually put candy in an unattended bowl on his porch with a sign saying "Please Take One." The first kid came along and took one... handful. The next kid took one... bowlful. The next kid took the bowl. The next one took the sign.

\no, not rly.
 
2006-10-31 11:07:23 AM
One bag of hershey's goodies, one bag of willy wonka goodies, and one bag of these little packs of playdoh for the diabetics.
 
2006-10-31 11:07:37 AM
Surplus soy sauce, taco sauce, duck sauce, chinese mustard, and ketchup packets that have been cluttering my junk drawer. When those are exhausted, the kiddies will get clumps of dog hair and toast crumbs.
 
2006-10-31 11:09:58 AM
bouillon cubes - look like candy, taste like salty ass.
 
2006-10-31 11:10:13 AM
fireclown: If anyone says different, tell them THE FIRECLOWN said it was OK.

It's The Missus who's in charge of candy distribution; I walk the kids around the 'hood. But I'll make sure she knows to stiff the outsiders. 'Cause if THE FIRECLOWN says it's OK, who's gonna argue with that?
 
2006-10-31 11:13:03 AM
Kaeishiwaza: Thanks for not putting an /Obscure? tag on that.


/What's that bad man doing to my Donkey?!


WindBreaker

It bugs me when kids from other subs vanpool into our sub for trick-or-treating.


I'm okay with it. If you're semi-organized, you can hit a lot of houses in a sub (avoiding ones that don't have lights on and don't have halloween lights or decorations), so it makes sense to maxx-out. And considering most houses just give 1 fun-size bar, as a kid you need to make it up in volume.
I'll never forget trick or treating with a set of new friends and having their parents drop us off at some neighborhood that was the mecca (or mekka?!) of all treats... they gave out two-packs of Hostess cupcakes!! Full size bars!! I think someone even gave our dollar bills!!

/This year, I'm also giving out exclamation points.

RadiantAerynSun

All the people joking about the booze once wouldn't have been far off. My dad says that when he used to take my (much) older brother trick or treating the dad's would bring their shot glass with them and they would get a shot at the houses that they stopped at.


If you showed up with a shotglass or a beer stein, I'd hook you up. That takes guts to traipse around with a bunch of screaming kids.
 
2006-10-31 11:13:10 AM

Do somebody say bacon?


www.mcphee.com

 
2006-10-31 11:16:56 AM
kibbles & bits
 
2006-10-31 11:19:06 AM
I had a friend whose mom would dress up like a scarecrow, but really stuff her clothes and sit a chair on her porch. She really looked liked a fake dummy. She'd put a big bowl of candy in lap with a sign that said "Only Take one Piece" If you took more than one, you got the crap scared outta you.
 
2006-10-31 11:19:16 AM
Horehound is always a favorite with the children.

Jello shots for the Mom's.
 
2006-10-31 11:21:47 AM
tacks & brads
 
2006-10-31 11:28:02 AM
- Shiner Bock & Guinness -

Adult trick-or-treating where I live. No Kiddies!

i15.photobucket.com
 
2006-10-31 11:29:12 AM
boiled sausages
 
2006-10-31 11:29:59 AM
(checks voting...)

What, no love for Magua?

/Goes and cries.
 
2006-10-31 11:30:39 AM
SMARTIES. Open up the little wrapper pack of candies and hand out ONE candy disc per kid. Like I'd really hand out a whole wrapper of 15 candies per kid?
 
2006-10-31 11:31:28 AM
Advice.
 
2006-10-31 11:31:52 AM
a half of a vienna sausage for each little tyke.
 
2006-10-31 11:33:32 AM
I'll be handing out the...
www.cbc.ca
Aids virus!
 
2006-10-31 11:39:58 AM
There's always someone in the neighborhood handing out Chick Tracts--one year we left my brother in law in charge of candy while we went to a party. He ended up giving out all the canned food, dog bisquits, etc. after the candy was gone.
See, this is how all those stories get started.
 
2006-10-31 11:40:28 AM
WindBreaker: It's The Missus who's in charge of candy distribution; I walk the kids around the 'hood. But I'll make sure she knows to stiff the outsiders. 'Cause if THE FIRECLOWN says it's OK, who's gonna argue with that?

haacked.com
Sho nuff.
 
b3x
2006-10-31 11:46:20 AM
frozen reeses pb cups ... cause thats what i like
 
2006-10-31 11:47:25 AM
I am giving mini-toothbrushes.
 
2006-10-31 11:49:50 AM
I haven't had a trick or treater come to my house in 4 years.

I am giving out 100 dollar bills this year.
 
2006-10-31 12:00:47 PM
My treat for all of you cyber-fiends is this video of exploding heads! Enjoy and Happy Halloween!

Exploding Heads on YouTube!
 
2006-10-31 12:00:47 PM
Cans of beer and Kit Kats. The building where I live has only 3 kids...all under the age of 1. Figured the parents should get something out of this before the kids are aware of whats going on....
 
2006-10-31 12:00:49 PM
Nothing, just checkin' ID's and throwing douschebags out.

Love my job.
 
2006-10-31 12:05:05 PM
www.wackypackages.org
 
2006-10-31 12:05:43 PM
A scoop of mashed potatos.
 
2006-10-31 12:11:53 PM
cock rings
 
2006-10-31 12:14:17 PM
Caramel Cod
 
2006-10-31 12:21:29 PM
Nothing! Get off my lawn you damn kids!
 
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