2006-10-25 02:51:10 PM Multi-Vitamin


Wait...so has a new fetish been born with this guy or what?

Necrozoophilia?
Necrobestiality?

The dog was a black lab so I think it's :

Necrocaninenegraphilia with a maggot on top!

Ya know, people always mock those that take risks. This man is a hero. He's reminded us all to follow our dreams.

sad would be more appropriate than dumbass.
this man is clearly not well, i don't understand how he had a girlfriend.

Sometimes it just doesn't pay to crack open a cold one with your best friend.

not ONE Gwar image YET. What are you people doing?

The important thing is that this guy is meeting new people now.

A buffet!!! And me without my wallet...

El Brujo: Submitter wins for best story of 2006. Hmm...think of the trophies one could recieve.

Just imagine the awards show...

"Second place for best story of 2006...world peace declared! First place...A guy farks a dead dog!"

:crowd goes wild:

"The breathtaking tickling sensation is the maggots."

jghiloni
dogfood: So how exactly is this different from sex with my wife?

It doesn't smell as bad?

Apparently, you never met his wife......

HotWingConspiracy: Ya know, people always mock those that take risks. This man is a hero. He's reminded us all to follow our dreams.

If you're following that kind of dream, I hope it's leading you over a cliff ;)

/almost said "over an open manhole"

Ronald Kuch is out there! He can't be bargained with, he can't be reasoned with. He doesn't feel pity or remorse and he absolutely will not stop until he farks a dead dog!

This guy took the whole, Your Dog Wants thing a little too seriously....

So how does his (now presumably ex) girlfriend move on? I mean can you picture that date?

Man: So what happened to your last boyfriend?
Woman: He got kinda weird and farked my dead dog so I had to dump him.
Man: Check please! I'll call you.

I wonder if he put the shock and aww on the pooch prior to giving the dog a bone?

He found out the dog was cheating on him with a Scottish Terrier down the block so he kills the dog with his vehicle. Several days later he feels remorse and a sense of loss and tries to make up with the dog with sweet passionate buttsecks.

/Farking cop ruined everything!
//not my fault that there was a preschool there, those damn things look likes a house anyhow!

These kind of people turn out to be serial-killers.

2006-10-25 02:53:50 PM crackwhore


sad would be more appropriate than dumbass.
this man is clearly not well, i don't understand how he had a girlfriend.

I dont' know you, but I think the next sentence you were going to type was :

...how he had a girlfriend. I mean, here I am, a great guy with a nice personality....

What do you think the last girl (or guy) that had sex with him must be thinking right now? Maybe something like “Gosh, was I such a lame laid that he prefers dead dogs over me?” I’m sure the self esteem of this poor soul must be at an all time high.

Was the dog male?
Cause if it was, this guy is queer.

oops, forgot the end bold

How does this thread only have four votes??

I've bitten through my lip to keep from laughing.

2006-10-25 02:57:05 PM IXI Jim IXI

"If you're following that kind of dream, I hope it's leading you over a cliff ;)"

It will be like Thelma and Louise, except I'll be raping a dog corpse on the way down.

joecitizen: These kind of people turn out to be serial-killers.

Or managers at pet cemetaries.

HotWingConspiracy: It will be like Thelma and Louise, except I'll be raping a dog corpse on the way down.

I just got an awful mental image combo of this story and Major Kong riding the bomb out of the plane at the end of Dr. Strangelove...

Ozzy Ozborne is impressed!

/too bad this little doggy cant bark at the moon!

Eclectic Wow that wins the thread. I feel that warm burning sensation at the back of my throat...You just painted quiet the picture....

I wonder if he was just satisfying his own curiousity. IE "is it tighter after its set for a few days?"

Thanks, <b>357</b>. You've successfully continued the tradition of bringing our dear president into every farking thread.

/We need a new "Godwin's Law" for Bush, STAT.

That is beyond wrong. What, did the decaying stench and flies turn him on?

I just wanted to let everyone know that this thread will forever live in infamy on my profile page.

IXI Jim IXI [TotalFark]

joecitizen: These kind of people turn out to be serial-killers.

Or managers at pet cemetaries.

I lol'd

Check out my new E-mail tag.

Sofa King 2006
Assistant Mgr.
H: (555) 123-1234
O: (555) 123-1234

"If shooting a load into a dead dog outside the front door of a daycare center is wrong, I don't wanna be right." Croooow! - 2006

So.... who thinks they could keep a straight face if they were Mr. Ronald Kuch's lawyer? Could you stand up in court and say "This man should not be put into prison?"
Would you shake hands with him if you won?

And seriously, what do you figure the odds are that the police got a search warrant to search the girlfriend's home? I guess they could cite exigence circumstaces... this guy was clearly a danger to dogs. That are dead. And have been for a few days.

Well, he screwed the pooch.

/300 posts..nobody said that?

This story reminded me of this....

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gnat+butter

Gnat butter anyone?

yummy!

/Kuch's Gnat butter, a premium condiment

Eclectic
think about the family. He'll probably be out on bail for Thanksgiving. That's gotta be a tense dinner. And they sure as hell won't want to leave the turkey carcass unguarded!


Just wait 'til Festivus when they get to air their grievances....

I can't believe no one's asked the obvious question: did he use a condom?

'cause, except for the last 4-5 days, you don't know where that dog's been...

/one, please

FarkLane "The dog was a black lab so I think it's :

Necrocaninenegraphilia with a maggot on top!"

Yes... But you forget... it was male dog outside a Daycare Center so I believe the proper name would be... (drum roll please...)

Necrohomopedocaninegraphilia.

/and....I'm spent.

zopi Well, he screwed the pooch.

/300 posts..nobody said that?

Actually, jay_bones15 did. Over an hour ago.

Is CTRL-F, "pooch" really that hard?

Humean_Nature: I just wanted to let everyone know that this thread will forever live in infamy on my profile page.

Hrumph...how many dead dogs does a guy have to blow to get on your profile?!

zopi: Well, he screwed the pooch. /300 posts.. nobody said that?

T'was already said.

It would seem that the harm was to the kiddies who saw him (and us, for having to hear about this) and not so much the dead dog.

Well, OK...it probably did things to the dog I don't want to contemplate.

Anybody else humming "DeadDogFarka" to the tune of "UncleFarka" yet?

cgremlin

Somehow, I think if the guy is farking a dead dog he doesn't really care about diseases. Maybe his girlfriend gave him some herpes among others and he thought he would exact revenge in his own way.

Contrabulous Flabtraption: How to recommend to cook this?


Well, that's easy. You wok the dog.