OMG he actually dripped onto the floor and caught fire...I though subby was making a joke...

Firefighters rarely see these kind of fires. I bet they dont' ever want to see another one either.

ROFL Whoever wrote that article is a farking moron. Even if the director DID say that, DON'T PUT IT IN THE ARTICLE! Geeeeez... That person'll NEVER get a better job now.
"So you want to work for the New York Times, huh?"
"Yes! It's my life's goal!"
"Fark off! You include stupid shiat like 'The crematorium is back in business and the funeral director said they'll notify the family to assure them their loved one wasn't harmed.'"
"Aww..."
"Get out of my office!!!"

erid: ...best of all is, I swear, a button on them that is labeled, "Afterburner."

"Afterburner" just means a setup where fuel is injected into the hot exhaust and combusts there. I'm not exactly sure why that's good in fighter jets, but apparently it's a hell of a boost. In a crematorium I imagine it puts more heat closer to the body.

SuperWeasel: Well I think I speak for everyone here when I say BBBBLLLAAAAARRRRGGHH!

Yea, pretty much.. I think it was the 'seeping' bit.

Oh gawd... that at dcigary's photoshop have me laughing so hard the tears are rolling.

/there's only so much you can suppress laughing out loud until your coworkers wonder what the hell you're on.

being fat as hell can cost more at the cremation process... fat costs 2x as much to incinerate as normal flesh.

Fark this article + thread is so gross, it exceeded my high expectations.

Excuse me while i go puke.

SoStooge

That's nothing compared to the Romans, who had a party at the pyre.

ummm ya just put that "grease" right in my tank boys

/the Cummins will burn it

"My retirement grease!!"

shudda cut 'em in half first.

Can anyone imagine the smell? Why do people insist on burning their relatives in a firing pit. Just put them in the ground. Feeding them to other animals seems more civilized then burning them...

If not cremation then isn't it time we change to vertical burial? At least it saves some space.

How about the National Cemetaries where they stack spouses on top of each other?

Kensey
I'm not exactly sure why that's good in fighter jets, but apparently it's a hell of a boost.

The additional boost comes in handy for short takeoff planes, or when a pilot needs additional speed for evasive action. It uses a lot of fuel, so it's not the sort of thing they want to do just for the hell of it.


Back to TFA... Yeesh. I suppose setting the crematorium on fire is slightly more dignified than being buried in a piano box.


/ Works on an airplane program.
// Not a terribly secret one, obviously.

Geez, didn't they have a squirt bottle? I use mine all time for grease flares.

I taught a CPR class for a group of morticians and funeral directors. Pretty cool group. Obese grease fires and seriously decayed or destroyed bodies where the family insists on an open casket are the low points of their job.

My cat is sitting on an open window by the computer. She doesn't care about the article, she's giving me the play by play on resident squirrels vs. migrating birds battle in the back yard.

I taught a CPR class for a group of morticians and funeral directors

Isn't that the last group of people who would ever need to to know CPR?

Has anyone ever tried to grill about 10 hamburgers, made out of cheap ground beef, at the same time? It's kind of like that.

anyone smell bacon?

Crossbuster: Apparently there is a significant number of cardiac events with elderly mourners/family members. I had the same questions (this was in a major urban area) and they said they have to call 911 for heart problems several times per week. Most area funeral homes were right behind hospitals/airports intalling AEDs. I guess it would be the 2nd best place besides an ER to have a heart attack.

Bet the mortician took a hike, for he didn't like / to hear him sizzle so...

Concerning cremation vs burial, I and my husband have opted for cremation so that when the second one of us goes, our ashes can be mixed and we can spend eternity together, inseperable. (I know, cheesy.) Besides, at least cremation is quick. Who wants to spend years rotting with worms and roots pushing through your liquifying corpse? I've seen things rot, I've seen things burn, and I know which one I would prefer.

Hmm.
What is the difference between white meat and red meat?
Which one would people-meat be?

Did he have a Jheri curl, maybe that helped start the fire?

I would rather be cremated.

I would be pissed if I came back as a zombie...

Gawdzilla, that's a good question. I know anatomically, pigs are considered very close to people (close enough to be used in anatomical and tissue studies with human applications in mind, not to mention fetal pigs being used for dissections in biology classes). Pork being "the other white meat", perhaps human meat should be considered "the other other white meat" (especially since a slang term for human meat is "long pig").

But the US Department of Agriculture apparently considers all meat from livestock "red meat" (including pork). Humans being mammals, I suppose we're classified as red meat by the USDA as well. So ultimately I guess it depends on how you want to define your meats.

Kensey: I suppose we're classified as red meat by the USDA as well. So ultimately I guess it depends on how you want to define your meats.

I just looked it up:

Red meats (same as dark meat) are "slow fiber" muscles, which require oxygen to operate. Thus they contain the red-pigmented protien "myoglobin", an oxygen binding chemical. Generally these muscles must work continuously. Chickens have dark/red meat, but mostly in the legs where the muscles work continuously.

White meats are "fast fiber" muscles that do not need oxygen to operate, and thus do not need myoglobin. They are for burst activity, and are not used on a constant basis. Chicken breasts are white meat because chickens do not usually fly, the muscles are used only in bursts. Ducks on the other hand are migratory and use them a lot. Thus, duck meat, including breasts, is almost entirely red. Fish are mostly white meat because they do not need to support their own weight in their environment.

In light of this, humans could probably be either white or red depending on the person. Lance Armstrong or any triathelete is going to be mostly red meat, since they have trained specifically to enhance and build their slow-fiber, oxygen-using muscles. A huge body builder is going to have much more white meat, since lifting a gigantic barbell is just a sheer burst of strength with very little time to uptake oxygen. It is mostly fast-twitch fibers doing the work. I wonder if I am white or red.... hehe.

mangetout

LMAO!