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(London Times)   1633: Europeans introduce smallpox into America. 2006: America introduces the class action attorney into Europe. We're even   (business.timesonline.co.uk) divider line 68
    More: Asinine  
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9796 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Oct 2006 at 12:48 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2006-10-23 11:16:30 AM
one disease for another... seems fair

/sorry Europe.
 
2006-10-23 11:28:34 AM
Cue all the "everyone hates lawyers until they need one" lawyer swine in 3...2...1..
 
2006-10-23 11:50:25 AM
Cue dickheads who know nothing about lawyers other than the bullshiat they see on TV shows in -1...-2...
 
2006-10-23 12:02:10 PM
Thankfully, I already had my lawyer shot. Took six rounds, but he finally went down.

/Do people still get smallpox shots?
 
2006-10-23 12:19:15 PM
Does that mean that Americans are about to colonise Europe?
If so, please start with France.
 
2006-10-23 12:52:58 PM
Cue the lighters who are going to come in here and screw things up.
 
2006-10-23 12:53:08 PM
kronicfeld
Cue dickheads who know nothing about lawyers other than the bullshiat they see on TV shows in -1...-2...

What do you call a 1000 lawyers on the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!

/oldie but a goodie
 
2006-10-23 12:53:12 PM
But in England they're called barristers and solicitors. Much less menacing.
 
2006-10-23 12:53:27 PM
Poor bastards... no really. Poor bastards.
 
2006-10-23 12:54:37 PM
Cohen, Milstein, Hausfeld & Toll, which specialises in suing large companies on behalf of pension funds and other institutional investors, will open for business in London this year.



Notice how they put Toll last? Tricky lawyers.
 
2006-10-23 12:54:39 PM
"we're even". Not quite, except if submitter is a Native American. Because if you're from European descent, you're just adding insult to injury...
 
2006-10-23 12:55:28 PM
What a great way to earn your living!
 
2006-10-23 12:56:03 PM
Wheres my Nelson picture when I need it. And no, I don't mean Admiral Nelson either.

/Ha Ha
 
2006-10-23 12:56:21 PM
Mugato:

there is legit reasons for having a lawyer, unfortunatly there are just way too many lawyers out there so they have to drum up business by being asshats.
 
2006-10-23 12:57:27 PM
Everyone hates class action lawyers until one day they are one of thousands eligeble for a $5 voucher for the purchase of a new hundred-dollar product due to a trial that brought the lawyers hundreds of millions and that the company they sued will get from its customers.

\I feel much more positive about class action lawsuits now that I think ybout it.
 
2006-10-23 01:00:55 PM
does this mean I will be able to sue people for multi-millions for petty reasons in the near future? please say yes.
 
2006-10-23 01:02:03 PM
There is only 1 thing wrong with class action lawsuits:

They need to be opt-in, instead of opt-out.

You can choose not to participate in a class action lawsuit. However, I think the lawyers should have to contact the potential class members and get them to opt-in in advance. Especially for shareholder lawsuits.
 
2006-10-23 01:03:01 PM
Lafayette, we are here.

/obscure?
 
2006-10-23 01:03:20 PM
...But we cured Smallpox for the most part. This is just evil.

/It wouldn't be any better without the lawyers, sadly.
 
2006-10-23 01:03:21 PM
Britain != Europe
 
2006-10-23 01:03:42 PM
"win billions of dollars for disgruntled investors each year." The Brits have never seen a class action in action. The LAWYERS will get billions of dollars, while the investors will get a coupon to upgrade their service for a year.
 
2006-10-23 01:04:24 PM
Absurd class action judgments are part of the class war when you think about it. People don't feel like they're successful working hard and honestly, so they use dishonest or exploitive means to try to wrest control of this country's wealth back from the bourgeoisie. The multimillion dollars sums you see are the proletariat's answer to the Golden Parachute executives use.
 
2006-10-23 01:05:01 PM
Shnu:

General Pershing says not really.
 
2006-10-23 01:06:30 PM
2006-10-23 12:57:27 PM Loki-L


Everyone hates class action lawyers until one day they are one of thousands eligeble for a $5 voucher for the purchase of a new hundred-dollar product due to a trial that brought the lawyers hundreds of millions and that the company they sued will get from its customers.

\I feel much more positive about class action lawsuits now that I think about it.


Class action lawsuits are a way for people who have been wronged en masse in a smaller way to take action. After all, if you individually are owed $1000 from a company, you'll blow that in a couple hours talking to a decent lawyer - so you wouldn't bother, and company goes unpunished. So class action is, in principle, a good thing. Furthermore, it can be a good way for companies to achieve a resolution in a civil matter so they can put it behind them. I think the issue most people have with lawyers in lititgation is that they collect huge fees based on the greed factor, regardless of the effort put in.

For instance, I dislike John Edwards based solely on the fact that he looks on paper like a card-carrying ambulance-chaser. If you want to judge lawyer-politicians individually, look at where they made their money, and why. This applies to members of both parties.
 
2006-10-23 01:06:40 PM
Other than a class action suit, how do you deal with a company that cheats millions of people out of a few hundred or thousand dollars each? Just let them keep it as a reward for their cleverness?
 
2006-10-23 01:07:45 PM
kronicfeld people don't need to watch TV to learn about lawyers. Just buy any stock and wait for the class action suits from a million parasites who think you should be compensated because that risky stock you bought happened to go down.

BTW, I suspect that Smallpox is easier to tolerate than any lawyer I've had the displeasure of interacting with.
 
2006-10-23 01:09:30 PM
Have you ever seen a lawyer in action?

Imagine a cocaine dealer who only has talcum powder to sell, but isn't going to let that affect his business. Now imagine needing a fix, and being one of his customers. Next, pretend you went for a BIG buy, with all your money and then some.

That's what it's like working with lawyers.
 
2006-10-23 01:09:31 PM
<tangent>

I have no comment on this article, but I am in need of help from you Farkers.
Where can I find the cartoon where the guy reams the goth girl for being Wiccan and ignorant of it? I've got to find and save it somewhere... Thanks!

</tangent>
 
2006-10-23 01:09:31 PM
Times trifecta in play?
 
2006-10-23 01:17:12 PM
www.osgoodhotel.com

"This headline doesn't make any gott damn sense!"
 
2006-10-23 01:18:32 PM
Funny thing...

I only hear about asshole teachers, babysitters, and police officers on the news. I don't assume that all teachers, babysitters, and police officers are assholes.

For some reason, people expect me to buy this line with regards to lawyers.
 
2006-10-23 01:21:22 PM
Did any of you actually read the article? It states they are suing American firms:

Rather than suing companies in the British courts, the firm will represent British institutions that want to join, or initiate, shareholder lawsuits in America.

This is just another way for greedy lawyers to screw American companies. Why it this bad for Europe?
 
2006-10-23 01:24:22 PM
Submitter So, by "we're even" do you mean all us white, middle-class, smallpox-immune Americans, or the people that actually died from smallpox, feather-Indians (as opposed to dot-Indians)?
 
2006-10-23 01:25:42 PM
seaseasea: Where can I find the cartoon where the guy reams the goth girl for being Wiccan and ignorant of it? I've got to find and save it somewhere... Thanks!

I can help, give me a minute.
 
2006-10-23 01:27:51 PM
Who needs a lawyer when you can just bribe/blackmail the judge?

That's why peasants are peasants and I have a fiefdom!
 
2006-10-23 01:29:28 PM
I laughed. Thanks Subby.
 
2006-10-23 01:31:43 PM
seaseasea: Where can I find the cartoon where the guy reams the goth girl for being Wiccan and ignorant of it? I've got to find and save it somewhere... Thanks!


something positive 4/24/02
 
2006-10-23 01:33:41 PM
fair to me.
 
2006-10-23 01:34:48 PM
Rather than suing companies in the British courts, the firm will represent British institutions that want to join, or initiate, shareholder lawsuits in America.

Obviously because Britain has a sensible loser pays rule. Time the U.S. enacted one, too, but the trial pimps' lobby is too strong.
 
2006-10-23 01:36:23 PM
Cue the lighters who are going to come in here and screw things up.

You're just mad because you actually pay for this crap.
www.lighter-flaming.net
 
2006-10-23 01:37:12 PM
czarangelus, you are my new hero. Many thanks.
 
2006-10-23 01:39:15 PM
Things don't work the same in Europe. They actually have a fair jury selection process, and people there are generally smarter than in America. Thus you don't have the enormous lawsuit victories for plaintiffs.

They don't need tort reform and award caps in Europe because their juries don't hand over millions to people who did stupidass shiat.

Obviously because Britain has a sensible loser pays rule. Time the U.S. enacted one, too, but the trial pimps' lobby is too strong.

Until we fix the way we pick juries, we can't have loser pays. Loser pays + dumb juries = nobody who actually has a legitimate tort can file a lawsuit, for fear the rich corporation they're suing will charm the jury with their high-priced attorneys.

In America, our juries consist of stupid, unemployed people. We mock those who are unable to escape jury duty. This all must change. We must make it nearly impossible to avoid jury duty, and we need stronger protection for workers who are called for it.
 
2006-10-23 01:43:13 PM
yay! now can i can sue europe for smallpox? what was that malcom? no, slavery doesn't count. why? cause you're black.
 
2006-10-23 01:44:51 PM
Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on.

The first surgeon said, "I like operating on librarians. When you open them up everything is in alphabetical order".

The second surgeon said, "I like operating on accountants. When you open them up everything is in numerical order".

The third surgeon said, "I like operating on electricians. When you open them up everything is color coded.

The fourth surgeon said, "I like operating on lawyers".

The other three surgeons looked at each other in disbelief. One of them asked why.

The fourth surgeon replied, "Because they are heartless, gutless, spineless, and their ass and head are interchangeable".
 
2006-10-23 01:50:22 PM
Kommissar, Europeans are now naturally immune to smallpox?!

WOW. I guess all those Europeans who died from it right up until the major campaign in the mid-20th to eradicate it all were something else, huh?
 
2006-10-23 01:51:52 PM
Silva: Does that mean that Americans are about to colonise Europe?

It's not called "colonization" it's called "looking for WMD's" now.

/Stay the course
 
2006-10-23 01:52:25 PM
bubbaprog

Things don't work the same in Europe. They actually have a fair jury selection process, and people there are generally smarter than in America.

Wow, nice generalization. Are all Europeans as stupid as you?

Well it's nice to know that everything is so fair and equitable in Europe. No biased jurors; everyone is so much smarter. It's Utopia over there...
 
2006-10-23 02:03:05 PM
All of Europe is taking credit for Sweden.
 
2006-10-23 02:06:54 PM
Lawyers should all die.
Me, a doctor, saying this in every thread remotely related to lawyers.
/lives in a $400 per month rent house in Iowa
/drives a 1999 Toyota Corrolla
/Makes 120k per year, most of which goes to student loans.
 
2006-10-23 02:11:18 PM
Yeah, JCGOW.

It's amazing over there. Total paradise. For example, nobody in France ever freezes to death in the winter. If you get cold you can warm yourself next to one of those burning cars.
 
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