Damn. And I was hoping for a little action in the Browns game this week.

never gets old
6-0h!

Another step closer to a Wisconsin tag?

Thanks for taking Aaron Brooks!

/Saints Fan

Phew! You mean all I have to worry about at a Raiders game are the 70,000 Gang Bangers?

I live in SF ... and I drive through Oakland every day. It really is a nice place.

I just leave my windows rolled up, try not to make eye contact with anyone.. and get through it as fast as I can.

/joking

//not really

They're playing the Cardinals. They might actually win.

If the Raiders don't win this weekend they will most likely go one 365 days without a regular season win. That thought just makes me grin every time.

The beginning of the season is the WRONG time for an attack of the magnitude this one was supposed to be. Hit the World Series, wait for the Super Bowl...something that'll have a major psychological impact. This is what terrorism is all about. They aren't aiming for bodycount, they're aiming for fear. The more visual the attack the more detrimental the effect on American society.

for example...the USS Cole bombing. sure, it was a horrible event but is it nearly as ingrained as the WTC? probably not.

I never believed it anyway. Football fans are useless zombies and killing them would be as damaging to the nation as killing pink plastic lawn flamingos.

I'm afraid Karl is going to have to think up another "October Surprise"...

LOL.. my roomate is a huge raiders fan.. him and his cousin are driving down from Oregon to go to the game this Sunday. I asked him if I could have his Xbox 360 after they die. He said no.

/bastard

sigdiamond2000: I'm still going to vote Republican just to be safe.


Well you know what else you can do, "just to be safe..."

it is delicious copy-pasta, DHS must eat

You had me at "NOBODY PANIC."

/mspaint at work in five minutes
//GO BOLTS!
///should really be working right now

Is this the right thread to post this in?

To: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden '07

Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I'll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is farking bullshiat and you should kiss my mother-farking ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.

You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a farking 12. I rate you a farking 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever... except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick. Go do Al Micheals or something. Boom. Score one for Red Beard.

It's also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly shiat and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast. fark, John, I understand you saying that I am slow and lacking athleticism, but a rating like this pretty much labels me as retarded. Rod "He Hate Me" Smart has a 52 in this category. Electronic Arts is saying that seven rating points separate me and the breathing embodiment of the perfect oxymoron. Rod Smart struggled to arrange words in sentence form. Cave men had better hold of the English language. The only actions that separate point values of ignorance at this embarrassing level are things like using your own toothbrush to wipe your ass. I basically edged out Rod by my lack of shiat teeth. If I take a night school class, could you bump me up to a 60?

I guess I just can't fathom the fact that I am the absolute worst player rated out of the entire NFL. fark, man, there are some shiatty guys out there. Amongst everyone, I was rated the absolute worst.

I have received the impression that you feel that I am lacking in the agility category. I should consider a walk through my living room where I don't crash through a wall or kick over furniture a resounding success. My agility rating on your game is 33. It makes it sound like I just topple over if I start walking too fast. Ted Washington is rated a 40 in agility. He is listed at 365 pounds. If Ted Washington tied a white lady up and made her wear a metal bikini, he'd look just like Jabba the Hut.

Red Alert!
John, you are such a farking dick. I also noticed that my kick return rating was a 0. I was rated a farking zero? So you feel that I shouldn't even receive a 10, or even a 5? You are pretty much saying that I couldn't even fall forward on a ball kicked in my direction. I would just stand there and let the ball bounce off of my farking face. fark that, John, I returned an onside kick 6 yards in 2002. You should have just slapped a - 4 on me and had the EA staff ambush me with paintball guns.

Finally, I would like to comment on an unlikely topic, my pass coverage ratings. I see that I am a better at man-to-man coverage (31) than zone (21). fark me sideways with a lunchbox. Where did these scores even come from? How much time is spent coming up with the pass coverage ratings of offensive lineman? Can I have that job? Let's see here, I think that Orlando Pace would be slightly better at jumping intermediate routes than Larry Allen. While I'm at it, I can assign the passing ratings for offensive lineman as well. I can use mine as a guide.

I was rated with a throwing power of 17 and accuracy of 16. Orlando Pace has a 22 power and 17 accuracy rating. Did someone at EA really put time into figuring out that Orlando Pace edges out Ethan Albright in both throwing power and accuracy? I will challenge him any day. My horrible passer ratings are of greatest misfortune to my son, Red Beard Jr. The poor boy is not only hideously ugly and covered by freakishly large freckles. He also has to suffer through playing catch with me and my senile-elderly-woman-type passer ratings. A session of tossing the pigskin usually consists of me missing my son by thirty yards in sporadic directions. I led him in front of a fire truck once and my wife kicked my ass. This is because of my 76 toughness rating. Yes, a 76 is far better than the other ratings, but I'm a farking lineman, damn it. NFL Linemen are considered to be synonymous with toughness. According to your game, I am a retarded, uncoordinated, pussy-ass farkwad that can't fall on a kickoff, throw, or spell. I am, however, slightly better at manning up on a receiver than dropping into zone coverage. You lose your mind more and more each year, old man.

When I'm not snapping balls, I snap necks.
Fark you, John. Please expect to find red pubes in various meals you consume for the rest of your life. If you fark with Ethan Albright, you call down the thunder.

Rot in Hell,

Ethan Albright

zilbel1038
Another step closer to a Wisconsin tag?

Way ahead of ya!

jjorsett

/Amen

now what are the cleveland news stations supposed to talk about for 20 out of the 30 minute broadcasts?...

All these people getting so worked up over 4chan copy pasta...

Fake?!?

Well fark me sideways with a lunchbox...

here's the suspect. turns out that bomb was just his respirator thingy. he's got to go through that patdown before every game now too...
suck it raiders!

TDUsGamer

If I wasn't so busy laughing at the Raiders while being disgusted by Oakland fans in general, I'd be impressed by their costumes.

I fail to see what is it that the Raiders need to worry about... oh right, the fact that between them and the Cardinals there's going to be so much suckage in that stadium that the space-time thingy is going to be compromised.

Raiders 3 superbowl wins...


Oakland has............Soul?

Watching wolf blitzer go on and on about a "non credible" threat, with graphics and NEWSFLASH all over the farking place made me sick. Your culture has really jumped the shark. Completely surreal freakshow happening down in the states right now.

If the Raiders win against the Cardinals, then Matt Leinart gets "Choke Artist" tattooed on his face. Seems fair.

/didn't RTFA
//Go Chiefs!!!

GBT/b/

stubblyhead: here's the suspect. turns out that bomb was just his respirator thingy. he's got to go through that patdown before every game now too...
suck it raiders!


David Wells looks pretty annoyed in that photo.

I knew it was BS the second I heard it on the radio. If you really want to kill someone, YOU DON'T TELL THEM WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO DO! That's why I dismiss bomb threats. If it were to really happen, no one would know until it actually happens.

RoughTrickNamedJim: If it were to really happen, no one would know until it actually happens.

with a few exceptions...Times Square on New Years Eve, Vegas on NYE, the Superbowl, The World Series, the NCAA Final Four and the World Series or ANY major annual event.. These farks don't want us dead, they want us scared.

are you afraid of Timothy McVeigh, Terry Nichols, Osama, or Hussein? If so then they've won....sorry 'bout yer luck....yer farked.

spleef420: These farks don't want us dead, they want us scared.

Hence the word terrorism. The GOP wants to terrorize us also. Win-win for them. If a terror attack happens everyone gets scared and voted for them. If one doesn't happen they take credit for that too. As long as we fear terrorists, every second fo everyday, the GOP is winning.

spleef420: These farks don't want us dead, they want us scared.

Hence the word terrorism. The GOP wants to terrorize us as well. Win-win for them. If a terror attack happens everyone gets scared and votes for them. If one doesn't happen they take credit for that too and everyone votes for them. As long as we fear terrorists, every second fo everyday, the GOP is winning because they have accomplished their fear mongering control over the weak minded.

double (triple) post with edits sorry.

I cant believe the NFL has a Chechnyen telling them when they can take a mass delivery.

Umm, every Raider game has sold out since the PSLs ended, even this sundays game when we destroy the Cards.
Oakland has the number 8 ranked D in the NFL. suck it haters

Flanders you are an idiot. I am a Raider season ticket holder since they came back and this franchise is a total joke now. Keep living in your fantasy world. What are they the 8th ranked D in? Yards allowed in the 2nd half while being down be 3 scores?

Enjoy the game on Sunday as you watch the QB we should have taken in the draft dissect our 8th ranked D all day. Cards are like a bees nest after Monday night.

Arizona 31 Raiders 17

This just in, fair weather fans suck harder than your mom on dollar night fastek!

I bet your tune was different just a few seasons ago when Gannon was running the show. Every team gets to be the worst at some time or another. I for one rather enjoy being on the clock and look foreword to drafting the #1 overall pick. So let the Cardinals win one this week. I'll still be wearing my Silver & Black baby!

/Raider Nation 4ever!
//haters suck
///fear my slashies!!!!