If I lived in Omaha, I'd start calling 911 from pay phones all over the city to report jaywalking and parking violations.

After all, 911 isn't just for emergencies, it's for tattletales too.

Obvious Tag Surrenders?

This is where we are heading, people...

When exactly did we become an entire nation of Gladys Kravitz's?

Wow. And I thought being able to call the New York cops if someone is less than 20 feet from a building when smoking was bad...

Be a good citizen and report your neighbors. It's the patriotic thing to do!

This shiat just makes me sick.

Some teenager nearly ran me over in a parking lot yesterday, should I have pulled out my gatt and unloaded on her?

Depends. Was she hot?

Problem solved. Next!

JE255J

Depends. Was she hot?

Why? What are you going to do with the corpse?

lame
a
m
e

thank god I don't live in Omaha.

I guess the you real crimes will have to wait..... to the anti-smokemobile

amoricanCrowe

ewwwww...would rather they just shot me

/puff puff pass

You'd think they'd at least set up a different number for this stupidity.
Something like "811" even.
It's suck to be calling to report a real crime and be on hold because Edith Bunker doesn't like seeing someone smoking on the other side of the street

What if someone is smoking a pole? Does that count?

As a non-militant non-smoker, I apologize most deeply and heartfelt to smokers.

I don't got a gatt but I got a soldering gun...

/skeet skeet skeet!

America = Soviet Union only with fake capitalism instead of fake communism. But the police state and hulking beaurocracy are both there.

I use 911 to order pizza, it's 27 minutes faster than Domino's.

Give me a farking break. Now they can call 911, next we'll have a bunch of idiots running around, confronting smokers, and making "Citizen's uh-RAY-est" al'a Gomer on Andy Griffith...

/too obscure for the younger Farkers?

Pocket Ninja: Come on. Second-hand smoke causes cancer.

Yeah. In large doses. In larger doses than anyone can possible get outside of a closed, hermetically-sealed box with 5 smokers in it. So yeah. If someone locks you in such a box, you have the right to kill them to protect yourself.

atpgod: I hear smoking can do that to you. Just quit and your health will bounce back.

Nah. I haven't smoked cigarettes in over 18 years. I haven't smoked anything else in over 8 years. I can't stand the smell of cigarettes and I wish they'd go somewhere away from me but, if they're outside, I just hold my breath until I'm out of their cloud.

why hate smokers? Why can't we all just get together to hate Bush some more?

/joking
//well kinda

operator: 911 assistance
man: yes, 911, i've been shot several times and i think someone is going to kill me!
operator: please hold sir, i have another call; 911 assistance.
woman: yeah, someone is totally smoking where i'm trying to walk. i will not walk into a cloud of smoke!
operator: of course, ma'am. were sending all the cars right away! just hold on for a second while i check the other line; sir, are you still there?
man:uuuuuuhgggg...
operator: oh, i guess he hung up.

*lives in Omaha, for those of you that RTFA*

To the people in Omaha who still choose to smoke in places where I've been promised you won't, you have a choice. Either, I can call 911 and give you 20 mins to gtfo, or I can kick you in the teeth.

To those would-be 911 callers, do be careful. Most bars that serve food can still legally allow smoking for another ? months as long as they also offer Keno. Don't ask me.

$100 first offense, $200 second, and $500 subsequent offenses. This is a money scam, take something that has been deemed 'evil' (not quite, but hopefully you get my meaning) and people won't balk at the crazy taxation of it.

Smoking is unhealthy, but your insurance rates go up if you are a smoker as it stands. They know that they are going to catch repeat offenders, so they stand to rake in some cash. This has nothing to do with lowering Medicare costs.

yep...I submitted with a better headline WEEKS ago...oh well

"Having ended all other crimes in the city, Omaha police want you to call 9-11 if you see someone smoking. Nebraska tag on the horizon"

Must be nice to live in an area that has so little crime that the local 911 center can take calls about smokers.

Finnley Wren When exactly did we become an entire nation of Gladys Kravitz's?



Perfect pop-culture reference. Well done.

This has happened here in Athens, GA. I know several people who were ticketed when some farkwit called 911 to report them smoking...in a bar.

I've also been seeing billboards advertising a site called smokingbugsme.com where you can snitch on people who smoke in bars.

/enraged.
//smoker.

WCHeadhunter: What if someone is smoking a pole? Does that count?

its allright, no one is going to rat you out.

Ma'am, I'm not going to come down there and enforce your Western Bacon Cheeseburger!

/obscure?

From the Article:
The penalty is a citation and fee for individuals caught violating the ban -- $100 for the first offense, $200 for the second and $500 for the third and subsequent offenses, according to a summary of the city ordinance posted online.

Wow...nice money maker for these people, but we all know its all about protecting the twinkie eating-soap-opera watching-SUVdriving-soccer mother's children from second-hand smoke.

I enjoy a good necrophiliatic clam stomping in the morning

umm....wow

Weeird... why not allow smoking rooms, provided they have separate ventilation? Just to punish people for smoking by putting them out in the cold?

FTA:

Mark Welsch, president of the Group to Alleviate Smoking Pollution (GASP) of Nebraska, disagrees.
...
Smoking isn't the only problem that needs fixing to trim down the costs, Welsch said. There's also a problem with food consumption that needs attention.

"We're such a fat country, by and large. Somebody needs to do something, or our Medicaid and Medicare costs are just going to continue to go up and up, not just because of smoking, but because of people being overweight and too lethargic to take their butts outside and walk," said Welsch.

If there is someone out there who thinks they know better for you than you do yourself, they will not stop at only unpopular habits. Eventually, they will control everything you do.

Keep this in mind when the fatty bans start coming into play. Eventually they aren't going to let fat people eat whatever they want. Hell, they may even start taxing the mentally disabled for costing more state money to raise than a "normal" child.

Ready for it, America? The nanny state is coming!

Smeggy Smurf: There's a better way to stop smoking. Treat the people like they're on fire. Tackle them, roll them around, beat them with blankets, dump water on them, hose them down, unlead a fire extinguisher on them, etc.

the old 'where theres smoke theres fire' routine, eh?

I'll have you know that I posted an article about this on September 29, 2006.

/wants a cookie

O....M....F....G....

Is this really where we're going?

If anyone actually calls 911 for this sort of thing, they should feel like a total tool.

/ Don't they answer "911. What's your emergency?

Smokers are terrorists. They spread deadly chemical agents all over our country. Keep a close eye on the ones who smoke Camels.

fatgram10

I wish I lived by you. I would go cartoon style and light like 10 cigarettes at once just blow in your direction. Well worth the fine IMHO

why are non-smokers as big of zealots as born-again christians?

how farking stupid.

As someone who once needed to call 911, this baffles me.

They forgot to mention that the leading cause of throat cancer is saliva, but only if swallowed in small doses over a long period of time.

While calling 911 on a smoker is pretty extreme, this 'research fellow' is retarded:

"I think that it's one thing for people to monitor themselves," said Amy Kauffman, research fellow for the Hudson Institute. "It's another thing to ask people to monitor their friends, neighbors and cohorts. It is turning people into snitches."

Yes, we'll just sit back and let people monitor themselves.

"I'm not smoking inside. Good job me. Shame, all of these people blowing smoke in my face should really do a better job of monitoring themselves."

Speaking as an Omahan, the smoking ban has gone in without really much resistance or anything -- hence why the police can say there haven't been many calls. I am definitely enjoying being able to go to restaurants that my asthma and the high level of smoke had previously precluded me from eating at.

fatgram10: or I can kick you in the teeth.

what is it about these anti-smoking threads that brings out the internet tough guys? You're going to call the cops and then commit a physical assault? DIAF asshole.