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(Wichita Falls Times)   Woman tells bear to fark off. Bear doesn't listen. Woman beats crap out of black bear.   ( divider line
    More: Cool  
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13336 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jul 2002 at 9:06 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

74 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-07-13 09:10:21 AM  
I'm impressed
2002-07-13 09:12:08 AM  

This would scare the shiat outta me
2002-07-13 09:13:05 AM  
Damn. Double damn. I wouldn't want her pissed at me.
2002-07-13 09:14:36 AM  
2002-07-13 09:16:59 AM  
Bet she wouldn't try that with a bear that wasn't "gaunt and thin".

Seriously though, great job. Wonder if she's a Farkette?
2002-07-13 09:19:09 AM  
Wow. They make 'em well in Oregon, huh?
2002-07-13 09:20:12 AM  
Poor bear was probably just hungry.
2002-07-13 09:20:43 AM  
She's a former Marine. Come on now. Easy shiat for a Marine.
2002-07-13 09:21:02 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-07-13 09:21:36 AM  
The bear needs to find a good lawyer.
2002-07-13 09:27:21 AM  
I blame global warming for this

the bears are not finding enough food so there are more attacks
2002-07-13 09:29:17 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

it seems the language of pain is universal
2002-07-13 09:29:36 AM  
Nevva, evva confront a BAM (broad azzz Marine)!
2002-07-13 09:30:17 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Ahhh. This explains it...
2002-07-13 09:30:44 AM  
I found footage of her and the bear:

Security cam
2002-07-13 09:34:35 AM  
[image from too old to be available] [image from too old to be available]

Yeah, fark bears. Fark 'em hard.
2002-07-13 09:35:19 AM  
....a former Marine

That explains it. Marines=Psycos

2002-07-13 09:36:38 AM  
I too am glad she made it but had that been a healthy adult bear I have a feeling things may have ended a bit differently.

And by differently I mean they would have been picking her out of bear crap with tweezers.
2002-07-13 09:41:53 AM  
Can someone find her photo? How big is this chick?
2002-07-13 09:49:13 AM  
Air horn, and a marine....hmmmm... me thinks a small revolver would have helped. But then again, cant take guns everywhere, not like you would want to protect yourself. Or maybe some pepper spray, but for a large bear that just might be seasoning.
2002-07-13 09:55:19 AM  
Noise and surprise will work about, oh, 50 bazillion times better then a small firearm.

She was already jogging, why did't she just take off at a dead sprint? Is this some kind of super cheetah bear?
2002-07-13 10:01:53 AM  
Bears are extremely fast runners. Humans are slow.
2002-07-13 10:04:37 AM  
Zzeuss, read the article. In the article, it says that she sounded an air horn at the bear and it charged. Take off at a dead sprint? Believe it or not, but bears can run pretty fast. Turning your back on a bear and running is a way to encourage it to chase her.
2002-07-13 10:09:55 AM  
Peta will be all over this
2002-07-13 10:17:33 AM  
And never ever climb a tree if a bear is after you!!!!
2002-07-13 10:26:22 AM  
go her
2002-07-13 10:28:28 AM  
Just one more example of whitey beating on the black bear.
2002-07-13 10:29:40 AM  

I have a buddy in the Corps and through him I have yet to meet a Marine who didn't intimidate the crap out of me.

It seems like a mangy black bear would be a no contest to a well trained USM.
2002-07-13 10:35:09 AM  
Yep, the bear will outrun you ever time. They really are amazing animals. The pepper spray is supposed to actually work the best. And it doesn't kill the bear either. Although a nice rifle is handy protection for those worst-case scenarios in some of those wilderness areas.
2002-07-13 10:48:52 AM  
Running away only triggers a predator's hunting instinct. However, If you turn and run at THEM, usually they'll freak out and haul ass away from you, as most predators aren't used to something having the balls to attack them. If any of you ever remembered the Wild Kingdom reruns, Don Perkins would always send his boy Jim out to do the chasing, and he came back every time.
2002-07-13 10:52:55 AM  
Hell, if I were a bear and some asshole came into my living room and started blowing an air horn at me, I would probable chase her ass too.
2002-07-13 10:53:49 AM  
Some info about running into a bear as relayed to me by the USFS. Don't run, bears can't see so well to identify prey so they rely on prey to identify itself, by running. A baby bear could outrun you, brown bears can sprint faster than a horse.
I actually built some of that trail when I worked for the Forest Circus (You wouldn't believe how much money they waste) in 1983. I spent over a month working on the trail, and only ran into a bear once. The trail is constructed of treated wood planks because it rains so much there it is a bog where the ground is level. My boss Dan Schweitzer, who was formerly a tree stand examiner, were walking along the trail at the end of the day and I noticed a black bear about 40 yards ahead of us on the trail. Dan yelled at the bear ("HEY") like you would some kid caught pulling up your tomatos and the bear just looked up slowly and then wandered off. We weren't too worried when it happened though, we each were carrying a Stihl 032 chain saw, which bears HATE.
2002-07-13 11:01:07 AM  
Wow....I think I'm in love.

BTW Rapidave, that would make a kickin' TV series. Forget robot wars and crap - let's throw people in a steel cage with a hungry bear and a chainsaw!
2002-07-13 11:07:17 AM  
Stranger (from The Big Lebowski): Some days you eat the bear, and some days, the bear eats you.
2002-07-13 11:09:21 AM  
Only if the bear was holding the chainsaw
2002-07-13 11:11:05 AM  
Anyway, isn't hand-to-hand combat with a bear standard Marine training these days?
2002-07-13 11:12:17 AM  
BS! There is NO way a human can take on a bear. Stop calling her a hero and realize that sometimes the things you read on the internet are not entirely true (yes, it's shocker). It would have made for a lame story is it said "Woman pisses off bear, bear owns the biatch".
2002-07-13 11:25:29 AM  
Calm down Rifter. I think everyone realizes that she just got lucky and the bear walked off instead of killing her (for some reason).
Oh, and I know this is stupid, but that article (and this thread) keep making me think of Tekken, and the lame bear in that game.
2002-07-13 11:27:03 AM  
Okay, I have spent a lot of time in the Smoky Mountains (lots of black bears) and my dad has spent a lot of time in the Smokies, Yellowstone, Alaska and places like that (lots of bears period.) He has photographed bears of all kinds all over the world. The woman did the absolute right thing. Okay, campers, bear survival 101. Fight a black bear. They aren't really that big. If you run, it will catch you. If you play dead, it will eat you anyway (it was probably hungry to start with), but if you fight, you will likely win. Go for the nose; bears have really sensitive noses, and will flee if you kick them in the nose. My dad always carries a hiking stick for black bear protection. If you encounter a grizzly bear, play dead. It will likely save you. If the bear is interested in eating you, he won't if he thinks you are dead, you will live. If you encounter a polar bear, curl up in a little ball and kiss your ass goodbye. Then listen as the bear happily tears you to shreds and eats you. That is all.
2002-07-13 11:28:23 AM  
Noooooo!!! Not the AIR HORN OF DEATH!!!!! Why must folks carry such deadly weapons in the forest?
2002-07-13 11:28:44 AM  
Where are the animal rights activists? This woman smashed a bear when it was just doing what came natural to it. The outrage!
2002-07-13 11:48:05 AM  
I'd like to see this lady work her way up the bear-ladder and become an expert on kicking bear-behind. How about a re-match with a Grizzly, a Kodiak, and a Polar Bear?
2002-07-13 11:48:49 AM  
The story didn't say if she was carrying a pickenick basket.
2002-07-13 11:53:34 AM  
Andonbray: At least it mentioned she was slathered in honey so we have the bear's motive...
2002-07-13 11:57:22 AM  
"had that been a healthy adult bear I have a feeling things may have ended a bit differently."

Actually, a healthy adult black bear would likely have run from her when she sounded the horn.
2002-07-13 12:11:50 PM  
2002-07-13 12:31:43 PM  
Don't worry, PETA won't get upset; the human was just doing her part, too- defending herself. One of the most environmentally friendly people I know has his own bear story. He's no ex-Marine, but he's 6'6" or so and just about as furry as a bear. On some expedition to the middle of nowhere as part of a mission to introduce a raptor into the wild (raptor = bird of prey- like I said, he's very eco-minded), he got between a mother bear and her cub and kept her back all night long. He just thought she wanted a piece of him; he didn't know a cub was around (stuck in a tree) until the next morning. His poor dog needed therapy afterwards, but between the two of them, both going nuts, the bear decided it wasn't worth it. The dog would bark its head off while my friend would jump up and down, scream, throw rocks at trees, etc. It made for a good story. :)
2002-07-13 12:39:02 PM  
Hey lady, if a horny bear approached you, would you beat it off?
2002-07-13 01:14:06 PM  
<img src="">
2002-07-13 01:37:10 PM  
Good for the girl, but did you get her description of the bear?

This might be the first drop of a big storm that's been brewin'...
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