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(ABC)   Class teaches men to woo women. Tuition is steep so some students have to hock their Star Wars paraphernalia   (abcnews.go.com) divider line 258
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9150 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Oct 2006 at 6:30 PM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2006-10-14 06:11:05 PM  
Rohypnol 101
/Giggity
 
2006-10-14 06:24:51 PM  
NEVER!
 
2006-10-14 06:33:57 PM  
My father taught me the two best things to say to women:

1) You look great in that outfit.

2) I'm sorry.
 
2006-10-14 06:35:23 PM  
didn't a movie about this just come out? with that retarded kid from napolean dynamite and billy bob thorton?
 
2006-10-14 06:35:48 PM  
img147.imageshack.us

Woo hoo!

Woo who?

(actually that should be "woo whom?")
 
2006-10-14 06:37:51 PM  
g-booby
RE: Leykis is Brilliant... accept it.

http://www.tenetsofleykis.com/
 
2006-10-14 06:37:54 PM  
Use the force... in your pants.
 
2006-10-14 06:39:54 PM  
Hint to menfolk: we girls really like compliments because chances are no matter how hot we are, we think we're not. Ego stroking = other sorts of stroking.

My personal favorite: "Your brain gets me all hot and bothered."

/was a puddle
 
2006-10-14 06:42:07 PM  
Guys, I iwsh I had known this stuff 20 years ago... Know these and live by them. Words of Age and Wisdom.

Leykis 101 Rules

Leykis 101 is a series of tenets created by US radio personality Tom Leykis, aimed at giving advice male listeners how to get the most sex with minimal time, effort, and money. The men who follow this advice are referred to as "Leykis 101 Students", and Tom Leykis is referred to as "The Professor." Women are encouraged to listen to learn how men behave and think. Some topics include women with a third hole and fugly women. Remember to listen to the professor live everyday.
We are in the hit-it and quit-it club. We don't have time to get to get to know you and figure out if you're one of the good ones.

$40.00 Limit - Never spend then $40 no a date. >>

3 Dates Rule - Stop seeing the girl if you do not get laid after the third date. >>

No Means No - If she says no then, STOP, get your stuff, and leave. >>

Single Mothers - Never date single mothers. >>

Tabasco Sauce - After having sex pour Tabasco sauce into the used condom. >>

Co-worker Relationships - Never date a co-worker. >>

Approaching Women in Groups - Never approach a woman in a club that's surrounded by her girlfriends. >>

Sex To Go - No spooning, cuddling, and or staying over after sex. >>

Relationships - Do not get into a serious relationship before the age of 25. >>

Weekend Dates - Do not go out on weekend dates unless you are guaranteed sex. >>

Cell Phone Dates - If your dates cell phone rings during the date then immediately leave. >>

Women in Bars - Sit at a bar alone and do not talk to any women. >>

After Hours Homely Pickings - The fugly women are the last one's to get picked up. >>

Birth Control - Regardless of what a woman says always use birth control. >>

No Gifts - No gifts are ever given to booty calls and women you are dating. >>

Beverage Consumption - Buy Hard Alcohol over Beer. >>

Types of Dates - Avoid lunch and or coffee dates. >>

Jerks and Assholes - If women think you are a jerk, then your doing something right. >>

Master Filibusters - Do directly from the bar the bedroom. >>

Eating Before Dates - Have a hearty meal before a date. >>

Marriage Contract - Never marry with out a prenuptial agreement. >>

You Choose the date - You choose what to do on the date. >>

Income and Women - The amount of income you have often determines the type of women you get. >>

Male Friends - All her male friends want to have sex with her. >>

No Sex At Your House - Never bring a woman home for sex. >>

No Compliments - Never compliment a woman. >>

Easily Replaceable - Have her know that if she does not put out then you will get it else where. >>

Holidays - Break up with your women during those money sucking holiday seasons. >>

Change is not Inevitable - Do not change who you are just for a woman. >>

Prepare your Identity - Be the doctor she wants or the million she's looking for. >>

Power Before Kids and Marriage - Men have the most power before kids and a family. >>

Paternity Test - Always get a paternity test no matter how sure you are that it is your child. >>

No DNA Donation - Never help a women you have no intention of marring have kids. >>

Women Are Dream Killers - They want to reach their dreams and stop yours. >>

Ultimatum, Run - If a women gives you an ultimatum then run and don't look back. >>

Giving and Getting Phone Numbers - Give your number out to as many women as possible. >>
 
2006-10-14 06:42:29 PM  
www.imakinaria.com
 
2006-10-14 06:45:05 PM  
Contazia My personal favorite: "Your brain gets me all hot and bothered."

You bought that? To me it seems like he is just acting "deep" to get the puddle effect you described. Then again, I usually only see the cynical side to people.
 
F42
2006-10-14 06:47:02 PM  
ericjohnson0: Leykis is Brilliant... accept it.


I'm affraid that I stop reading these things whenever I come across the equivalent of this sick bit.

Being a decent guy really hurts my game it seems. If only I was a sleazy, lying manipulating asshole, I'd get laid more.
 
2006-10-14 06:47:18 PM  
ericjohnson0
Wow...those are horrible. So mercenary.

/If mercenaries were after sex, not money.
 
2006-10-14 06:47:38 PM  
What if I want to woo women for a relationship?
 
2006-10-14 06:47:44 PM  
"Wow, not only are you funny and intelligent, you're really sexy, too."

I think that would make most women run for the hills thinking you're desperate or a loser.

/Maybe after you've boned her a few times.
 
2006-10-14 06:50:54 PM  
F42
Being a decent guy really hurts my game it seems. If only I was a sleazy, lying manipulating asshole, I'd get laid more.

There are only so many women who are truly worth the finanical and emotional risk of marriage... and you never know whether they're one of the 'good ones' or not until about 20 year down the road...

With the way the laws are written now, committing to a woman in marriage is 50% of the time a one way ticket to bankruptcy and destitution...
 
2006-10-14 06:53:54 PM  
woah, I've never read that Leykis list before.
um, and I'm slightly ignorant, but what's the Tabasco sauce thing about?
 
F42
2006-10-14 06:54:06 PM  
ericjohnson0: With the way the laws are written now, committing to a woman in marriage is 50%


WTF?

It's either lie your way to bed or marry her?

Seriously, WTF?
 
2006-10-14 06:54:17 PM  
Raw_fishFood
What if I want to woo women for a relationship?

Then you're not a man?

Kidding! You could probably pick and choose the ones most likely to lead to a relationship. I generally am completely incapable of approaching women, so that one where you just sit there alone and they come to you sounds good... for either booty call or relationship!
 
2006-10-14 06:54:39 PM  
Comsamvimes
Wow...those are horrible. So mercenary.

You see (and I learned this the hard way) it is the nice guys who get raped by the system. Guys with jobs and ambition and character who have children and are devoted dads and husbands... and then... she shacks up with the pool guy or someone...

You are then booted out of YOUR home, seperated from YOUR children and watch your YOUR savings and income syphoned off so the ex can go screw the world.

DON'T get married. The Risk is Far Too High.
 
2006-10-14 06:54:45 PM  
 
2006-10-14 06:56:54 PM  
F42
It's either lie your way to bed or marry her?

Sorry... I left a few things out...

About ~24-28, women get Very serious about getting 'married.' They Will Not put out long term if they don't see a ring and some cake... it is the old 'biological clock' thing... It Is Real.
 
2006-10-14 06:59:11 PM  
adviseable what's the Tabasco sauce thing about?

I'm guessing to prevent sleazy women from scooping them out and .. uh.. using the contents to get pregnant?
 
2006-10-14 07:01:08 PM  
The article, to my surprise, was pretty good.

The advice given to the men seemed pretty spot on...be confident, let the woman know EXACTLY what your intentions are, and BE CONFIDENT.

And that last guy in the article, who liked that woman's jacket...that would have sold me too. And he got the girl!

/loves the nerdy boys who notice things like 18th century design on jackets.
 
2006-10-14 07:01:36 PM  
One guy in this game who is decent is Ross Jeffries.

I subscribe to his free newsletter at http://www.seduction.com/, and in one of them he told a story about one of his students.

Ross applauded a man who had picked up a hot woman in the US on a work conference from England. This man had gone up to her hotel room and things were getting a little heavy when she received a call from home about a death in the family.

Instead of being a sleaze and saying "Okay, I missed out on the sex, see you later," this man switched gears, helped her arrange an emergency flight home for her, and gave her the emotional support she needed.

The fact that Ross applauded this guy told me that his system of meeting women was, unlike the others out there, based on treating women with respect and honesty.

So not all the pick-up merchants out there are sleazebags!
 
2006-10-14 07:02:53 PM  
advisable

woah, I've never read that Leykis list before.
um, and I'm slightly ignorant, but what's the Tabasco sauce thing about?


In the case of the tabasco sauce is a saftey net against unwanted pregnancy.

After coitus completion, remove the condom and before you throw it away, pour tabasco sauce in it. This action will result in a genocide of your little soldiers. As an added bonus in case the female decides that she wants to get pregnanat without your consent by using what is left in the condom, she will get a rather burning surprise.
 
2006-10-14 07:03:53 PM  
http://www.johnalanis.com/

/attraction secrets the liberal media is hiding from you
//pretty good free newsletter
 
2006-10-14 07:03:55 PM  
um, and I'm slightly ignorant, but what's the Tabasco sauce thing about?

It's her program, unless the sperm are dead.
 
2006-10-14 07:03:58 PM  
ericjohnson0: You are then booted out of YOUR home, seperated from YOUR children and watch your YOUR savings and income syphoned off so the ex can go screw the world.

DON'T get married. The Risk is Far Too High.




Let me just butt in on your misogynistic rantings for a second to revel in schadenfreude. Ahh yes, thank you. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving troll.
 
2006-10-14 07:04:04 PM  
Dear Nice Guys,

Those Leykis rules might seem a little harsh, but they're for bagging dumbass women who you don't want anyway. The ones you want will be dumped by those guys before sexual relations even occur and most of the time won't even be targetted, so quit crying about it.

You nice guys ARE looking for nice girls, right? Or are you the nice guys crying about the fact you can't tag a different cheap slut every night because you're so nice? Because those kinds of nice guys aren't nice guys at all.
 
2006-10-14 07:04:52 PM  
xtex [TotalFark]

advisable what's the Tabasco sauce thing about?

I'm guessing to prevent sleazy women from scooping them out and .. uh.. using the contents to get pregnant?

HOLY shiat!
Thanks for the clarification, though now I'm picturing that sort of scene very vividly...a smug woman thinking 'ha ha!' while scraping around in a used condom
 
2006-10-14 07:06:08 PM  
ericjohnson0

It's people that follow those rules that make women so recalcitrant to put out, and so untrusting of men.

I'd rather be celibate if that's what it takes.
 
2006-10-14 07:09:08 PM  
Newbaca
Let me just butt in on your misogynistic rantings for a second to revel in schadenfreude. Ahh yes, thank you. Couldn't have happened to a more deserving troll.

Uh... I wasn't a dick until this happened to me. And then I had to accept that nice guys, do indeed, finish last.
 
2006-10-14 07:12:06 PM  
Clever Neologism

It's people that follow those rules that make women so recalcitrant to put out, and so untrusting of men.

I'd rather be celibate if that's what it takes.


I don't care for the evil approach either, but... men want sex, women want security. Women are willing to trade Sex for Security, and men vice versa...

My complaint is that these days, you don't get much for your money.

Basically, if you want an 'honest' relationship, try Vegas... she'll leave in the morning and all the happier being paid for her 'services.'
 
2006-10-14 07:13:10 PM  
ericjohnson0

I'm an atheist with no consideration of the hereafter. Do those rules apply to me?
 
F42
2006-10-14 07:16:16 PM  
sorebones: You nice guys ARE looking for nice girls, right?


There's no such thing as a nice girl ;-)
They seem nice, but then they end up in the jerk's bed, the dirty sluts.

Now go back to reading heartlessbiatches.com (fark the filter)
 
2006-10-14 07:17:50 PM  
ericjohnson0 Uh... I wasn't a dick until this happened to me. And then I had to accept that nice guys, do indeed, finish last.

Translation: I had a bad run with a biatch and now my outlook on females and life in general is bleak and bitter. I think I'll go cut myself while listening to Panic at the Disco.
 
2006-10-14 07:18:23 PM  
Alex Chilton
I'm an atheist with no consideration of the hereafter. Do those rules apply to me?

This is a different playing field... this is about 'how to attract gold digging tramps.' Because the nice girls? They're at home, feeding their kids, being loyal to their husbands... and they're usually married by 30, at the latest.

The game we're talking about is learning to enjoy 'leftovers.' Because these women would rather BE the kitchen rather then the main, and only, course.
 
2006-10-14 07:19:02 PM  
sorebones

Yeah, I'm more interested in meeting a girl and having a personal and romantic relationship. So... now what?
 
2006-10-14 07:19:14 PM  
From tenetsofleykis.com..

"# Tabasco Sauce - After having sex pour Tabasco sauce into the used condom. >>"

WTF?
 
2006-10-14 07:19:50 PM  
hock [hok] -noun
the joint in the hind leg of a horse, cow, etc., above the fetlock joint, corresponding anatomically to the ankle in humans

hawk [hawk] -verb
to peddle or offer for sale by calling aloud in public.
 
2006-10-14 07:20:34 PM  
Oops, missed Gremzo's post. Disregard.

Still, that's farked up.
 
2006-10-14 07:21:06 PM  
Yeah, thanks, but even the stupidest woman would not believe that a man who doesn't know how to spell Camry (possibly Camaro) works anything more prestigious than the fryer at Wendy's. By the same token, intelligence and demeanor speak more about your status in life than a fake ATM receipt (and, trust me, that trick is older and more laughable than a cheap pickup line).
 
2006-10-14 07:21:53 PM  
wyltoknow
Translation: I had a bad run with a biatch and now my outlook on females and life in general is bleak and bitter. I think I'll go cut myself while listening to Panic at the Disco.

Want to guess how many of our heroes in Afghanistan and Iraq have come home... only to find 'home' has been sold, wife is now ex-wife, kids are learning to call some new schmuck 'dad.' Etc. ?

I have seen it too many times... I saw it before I got married and figured 'Hey, he didn't treat his woman right." And then it was my turn in 'the barrel' and I learned...
 
2006-10-14 07:23:49 PM  
msnbcmedia.msn.com
 
F42
2006-10-14 07:24:03 PM  
ericjohnson0: Want to guess how many of our heroes in Afghanistan and Iraq


Oh, SNAP! You did NOT just use "hero" to mean "any member of the armed forces"!
 
2006-10-14 07:24:16 PM  
ericjohnson0: Uh... I wasn't a dick until this happened to me. And then I had to accept that nice guys, do indeed, finish last.


So we owe all of your trollings to a bitter breakup? That sucks, still the way you handled it afterwards makes me think you deserved it. I'm an atheist with no consideration for the hereafter, but I still don't treat people like that.
 
2006-10-14 07:25:22 PM  
"# Tabasco Sauce - After having sex pour Tabasco sauce into the used condom. >>"

WTF?


The idea being that a woman could empty the contents of said used condom into herself, thereby impregnating herself and making you the biological father. It's kinda crazy, but never put anything past a crazy woman.
 
2006-10-14 07:27:43 PM  
nanded
It's kinda crazy, but never put anything past a crazy woman.

What? Now WHY did you have to go and bring up Jennifer Wilbanks?

/What? Oh... Sorry... sort of... :)
 
2006-10-14 07:28:44 PM  
Hehehe
It's ok guys.

The problem with nice guys sometimes is that they're too shy and not confident. I don't want to do all the talking.
 
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