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(MSNBC)   Finding bridal gowns for fat women is not easy. Grooms-to-be: This is a warning sign   ( divider line
    More: Interesting  
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6694 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jul 2002 at 3:38 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

276 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-07-11 08:43:45 AM  
If they are thick when you marry them, they get fat.

If they are fat when you marry them, they get obese.

If they are skinny when you marry them, they stay skinny - until kids come along.

Don't do it.
2002-07-11 10:39:12 AM  
So Hedges politely asked the saleswoman to ask the man if he would move. "I overheard something along the lines of, 'She's a fat steaming pig, and there simply isn't enough room in the store for the both of you, so you'll have to leave or be eaten.'"
2002-07-11 03:44:55 PM  
I like a little junk in the trunk.
2002-07-11 03:47:33 PM  
There are so many thing that I never understood about beef romance, and this is one of them. Thanks for clearing that up, MSNBC!
2002-07-11 03:47:34 PM  
If you're wearing a size 22, you got bigger problems than finding a wedding dress. So to speak.
2002-07-11 03:47:36 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-07-11 03:48:07 PM  
No wonder none of the women in my office are married they all can't find a wedding dress. Women really need to start workin out more everyday it seems that women where I live just keep getting fatter and fatter.
2002-07-11 03:49:35 PM  

If she is too fat to be fit with a dress, she is not fit to be wed.

Should be common sense.
2002-07-11 03:49:59 PM  
What a farkin' shocker? I'll say it once, I'll say it again...Fat Girls are Genetic Slop

Who the fark would want to spend the rest of their life sleeping next to a farking pig any damn way. Nonetheless, who would want to procreate with a heep of shiat and ruin the offsprings' lives with such horrible genetics.
2002-07-11 03:50:27 PM  
Oh, gee, but ain't it grand to have a gal so big and fat
That when you go to hug her, you don't know where you're at
You have to take a piece of chalk in your hand
And hug a ways and chalk a mark to see where you began
2002-07-11 03:51:04 PM  
In my world, fat brides get skinny after marriage... then the husband divorces them when they're "No longer the woman I fell in love with"

Marriage=death anyway, besides who in their right mind wants to look like a giant merengue!

2002-07-11 03:51:34 PM  
Umm, I think you people are a little to caught up in appearances. I know it's cliche, but it's what's inside that counts, and that's really true. Yes, there are many plus-size women in the world, but a lot of them can't help it. Give em a break...I'm sure they try.
2002-07-11 03:51:34 PM  
I resent not being able to feel like a bride trying on all of the lovely creations that they have out there.

She "resents" it. Like it's the dressmaker's fault that she's fat.
2002-07-11 03:53:07 PM  
yeah, all you fat guys out there are just a TREAT, huh?
2002-07-11 03:54:13 PM  
So everyone who posts on Fark has a perfect body and no mental or physical defects? No one smokes or drinks or does drugs? I mean, you people must be perfect if you can so easily laugh at overweight people.

Dattaway and Blackinton and the rest of you arses can go fark yourselves.
2002-07-11 03:55:17 PM  
I'm not fat, I'm festively plump.
2002-07-11 03:56:07 PM  
The bigger the waistband, the deeper the quicksand, or so I have read...

Big bottom
Big bottom
Talk about bumcakes, my girl's got em!
Big bottom drive me out of my mind
How could I leave this... behind?
2002-07-11 03:57:04 PM  
hahaha fat people haahahahhaa, fat people. So funny, hahaha burning dog, hahahaha world trad center. hahahhahha
2002-07-11 03:57:32 PM  
It is partially their fault for being fat I mean running 15 minutes a day is good enough to lose wieght. However, if they have a metabolism problem it's not thier fault.
2002-07-11 03:57:32 PM  
I remember back when I was about to pull the trigger, er get married, that my wife was always biatch about how there weren't many dresses small enough for her (she was a size 1 or something) and that all of them were circus tents for the Shamu's out there.

Granted, this is Minnesota- land of 10,000 lakes and 67,000 fat girls. And I thought Wisconsin was bad...
2002-07-11 03:58:44 PM  
mudflaps not bumcakes...
2002-07-11 03:58:45 PM  
In this case, is the gown more important than the Cake?
2002-07-11 03:59:20 PM  
Aww cmon, this just means there is more of them to love!
2002-07-11 03:59:34 PM  
/bob newhart on snl mode off
2002-07-11 03:59:35 PM  
Princessjessa, ehhh no, no they don't, or maybe the one's I know don't. They eat and snack all day long. Never take the stairs when it's only one story down to where they need to go. I'm sure that some do but most of them are a bunch of slobs. I do feel sorry for most of them but to be honest it disgusts me.
2002-07-11 03:59:49 PM  
fat people deserve to be fat. quit eating so much.
2002-07-11 04:02:37 PM  
I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs, Pope.
2002-07-11 04:03:42 PM  
Saucy Jacque!
2002-07-11 04:03:43 PM  
The one jewel of wisdom in that entire farking article:

Also, don't take any of this bridal stuff too seriously. It's just a dress.

Farking right!
2002-07-11 04:04:12 PM  
Check out the fine selection at Fat Chicks in Party Hats.

2002-07-11 04:04:38 PM  
We'll be happy to return your deposit, or give you a 20 percent discount on another gown of your choice from our shop." Hedges cried the rest of the day.

Isn't offering a 20% discount pretty damn good for this? Quit your bawling.

some bridal manufacturers charged an extra fee for plus-size dresses

Hey, Mr. Carpenter, why doncha add a second floor to my house while yer building it?- I shouldn't be charged extra...
2002-07-11 04:04:39 PM  
When we got married, my wife had to find a dress to accomodate 4 months worth of pregnancy. My father-in-law had no trouble in finding a shot gun that fitted up next to my head.
2002-07-11 04:04:48 PM  
Fat people biatch too much...if it's that farking hard to find a wedding gown, lose some weight. Problem solved.
2002-07-11 04:06:47 PM  
Yep...I've been told by all my biatches...I'm just about perfect, except for my height..I'd like to be 6'2" but 5'11" does just fine...and P.S. Fat Girls should remain indoors.
2002-07-11 04:06:50 PM  
2002-07-11 04:06:57 PM  
i betcha some of you guys will get a kick out of this:
2002-07-11 04:07:40 PM  
i like to have sex with smaller , petite sized girls. one day perhaps i will marry one.
2002-07-11 04:07:56 PM  
I've been trying to learn the secret of gaining weight from these women, even eating them. More I eat, the skinnier I get.
2002-07-11 04:08:23 PM  
Brides and Grooms seem to be getting bigger in general. However when people are grossly overweight they tend to have a bad attitude about it. What ever happend to the jolly fat person?

I managed to loose 37 pounds. So I don't want to hear anyone biotchin'!
2002-07-11 04:09:06 PM  
Buy a white king size top sheet, put a hole in the middle for your head and wrap white plastic duct tape around.

Cost $100.00 = $10.00 for top sheet + $90.00 white duct tape.

Simple, elegant and appropriate.
2002-07-11 04:11:16 PM  

She'll have another piece of pie
She'll have a double reuben rye
She works hard at eating well
That's why I love her

She's got a couple of pony kegs
Her arms are bigger than my legs
And when she holds me I can't breathe
That's why I love her

I'm her butter she's my bread
She's like a mobile waterbed
And when I got on top of her
I can't touch the mattress

And when her flesh begins to sag
She's like a human sleeping bag
I feel so cozy, safe and warm
She's my insulation

I always know where she sat
And when she's on me I get flat
Some broken ribs a punctured lung
That's why I love her

She's my Phillie I'm her Stud
Her bean is bigger than my pud
It's like feeding a tic-tac to a whale
That's why I love her

2002-07-11 04:11:17 PM  
Fat Girls deserve their hellish existence...They are in no way of any benefit to natural society. Unless we start using their blubber for fuel. They're unattractive, taxing, expensive, and walking two feet gives them the worst case of Rotten Crotch merely from the friction of the blubber between their legs.
2002-07-11 04:11:43 PM  
Princessjessa --

Well, some guys will to admit a weakness for formidable, Amazon type women with a *little* meat on the bones. Skill with fur-lined handcuffs and a riding crop can be plusses, too. That's just a point of information. Resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental.
2002-07-11 04:12:06 PM  
Yeah, and I'm sure y'all are such farking prizes yourselves. Whatever. Why is it always the barely average asshats who see fit to judge everyone else? Granted, a size 22 is a bit large, but who are we to say she doesn't have as much of a right as the rest of us to find something decent to wear? Remember, if she's covered, you won't see her, and if she's married, you won't have to deign yourselves to look at her.
2002-07-11 04:12:07 PM  
40 Dog:
Mudflaps is from a later verse, I think. I'm quoting from memory, but bumcakes is definitely in one of the choruses.

I saw her on monday, twas my lucky bun day
You know what I mean.
I love her each weekday, each velvety cheekday
You know what I mean.
My love gun's loaded and she's in my sights
Big game's waiting there inside her tights
2002-07-11 04:13:31 PM  
Rtphokie - with everything there is a line, you sir have just crossed it. now please excuse me while I vomit
2002-07-11 04:13:32 PM  
Rtphokie, thanks, now I gotta gouge my eyes out. Mods, can you delete that "image" before the barffest begins?
2002-07-11 04:14:22 PM  
i do not understand how people can get that fat. It is disgusting. F being politically correct, it is just a guise anyways.
2002-07-11 04:14:48 PM  
Girlzfart2: I've always been a sucker for girls that'll claim a fart... do you belch as well? RAAOOOWWRRRR!
2002-07-11 04:14:49 PM  
You ought to be able to find some old Roseanne or Liz Taylor dresses about everywhere.
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