It IS a helluva drug.

I'm farked then since that's my ambrosia and I can't quit. It has to be a in a can, chilled. If it's from a 2 Liter bottle, it doesn't taste the same. Too flat. It's not good in a plastic bottle. Lord forbid it be from a soda fountain; fountain coke and real coke are worlds apart.

The pleasure is thus: I see my coke in the fridge. The can is red and inviting. My fingers feel cool and moist when I grab the can. I pop the top and the hissing sound makes my mouth water. I get the first sniff of acidity right off the top of the can. The first sip is my favorite; The bubbles cause irritation of the front of my tongue just as the sweetness of the Coke is felt. Now I'm really thirsty. The rest of the gulps aren't as good as the first but are oh so tasty. I want more and more and find myself sucking it down to keep the elation of the drink going. The last 2 inches of Coke in the can aren't even worth drinking. May as well just toss it out.

Just sippin my Coke and waiting for my bones to dissolve. Who needs bones?

I've used it to get all that white crap off my battery terminals and made cakes with it, but I won't drink it.

/yes it does clean your car's battery terminals.

What about Code Red Diet Mountain Dew?

Huh? Huh?

I agree with what I read in another thread: what, is the disabled tonight?

sweet sweet cokey goodness....

/addicted
//addicted to slashies

Advertising and a lack of knowledge are far more powerful factors when it comes to being healthy for most people.

barneyfifesbullet


What about Code Red Diet Mountain Dew?

Huh? Huh?

Screw that. What about BEER?

OH MY GO...oh wait. Just women. Whew. Thought it was important there for a second.

Women who drink cola may be increasing their risk for low bone mineral density linked to osteoporosis, researchers say.

Just women? Oh good - then I'm safe.

/goes off for several cokes

Correlation =/= causation.

Whew, for a minute I thought you were talking about cocaine.

Women who drink cola may be increasing their risk for low bone mineral density

Well, they have two milk jugs hangin' right there in front of them 24x7. Why can't they just drink their own milk and boost their calcium levels, to make up for what Coke makes them lose?

See, ladies, boobs *are* good for something besides giving men a reason to like you.

The more cola that women drank, the lower their bone mineral density

So the more shiat that you drink that has no nutritional value, the more unhealthy you'll be. Drink milk you damned hippies.

Fark headline brought to you by Pepsi.

gradatim - Their "milk" jugs start making milk only after they give birth. That's why I love girls till they get pregnant.

Have any morons started in with the Coca Cola urban myths yet?

They've known about this for years. I remember my mom telling me about this when I was in 3rd grade. That was in 1991.

/Mom and dad are pharmacists

It's good for dissolving cocaine that comes up from South America. Sniffer dogs never check out Coke (heh) tankers.

The "War on Drugs" is rather the "War to Supply Drugs to the Debauched American 'elite'".

Rotten septums and bleeding noses, fat bellies and diabetes, but at least it's not marijuana!

zekebullseye:

Man, I'm drunk, and I still think that what you are saying is crazy talk. I like the occasional soft drink but what you describe sounds like near orgasmatic bliss.

Methinks you need to take a breather, and perhaps a glass of water.

Why is this suprising to people when the drink already needs a special lining within the can so it doesn't eat the aluminum?

2006-10-08 12:50:19 AM Madheretic
Their "milk" jugs start making milk only after they give birth. That's why I love girls till they get pregnant.


Not true. Any woman (or a man if you're that kinky) can lactate if they're given proper ongoing stimulation.

/damn I know too much about kinks...
//shudders

Because practically anything eats aluminum?

This explains why I have osteoporosis at 25

It rots their bones because, of course, god knew that women are unfit for sex or making food in the kitchen past 40 or so, so he wanted us to get new models. Of course, males are superior and have at least a little morality, so how would we cope? Gradual degredation of the female, so we'd have to trade in for a new model.

/its true b/c i read it in the big book!

Bones are bad mmmmmk?

BlueGargoyle

I call BS I have done the battery terminal trick, multiple times.

outback rebel yep, the only thing to do is make sure your woman doesn't drink too much soda :P.

/I'd take pointy knees over bendy knees any day.

Old news. The phosphate acts as an alternative to calcium in the bones, making them less dense.

But calcium intake from all sources, including non-dairy sources such as dark, leafy greens and beans, was lower among women who drank the most cola.

Anyone else find it conceivable that the coke-drinking is simply a symptom of poor diet?

Don't think milk will help. The Vitamin D overdose actually interferes with calcium absorption - not to mention the hormones that are fat soluble.

Yes, like the cola industry, the milk industry lies its collective ass off.

yeah but what about COCAINE!

zekebullseye

You must mean Pre-Mix coke. Coke from an old-fashioned Soda Fountain is the REAL Coke.


Dr Pepper FTW!

Or Big Peach...

who funded these researchers? they need to stop wasting their money on obvious shiat.

i got a question. has anybody ever heard of laundering money through "research". like give so and so a lot of money to do some research but not actually do it, say they did, come up with obvious results that show they probably did it, and then pocket the money?

ever heard of it? get back to me on it.

/not being sarcastic. really want to know.

I WISH I HAD NO BONES!

/e throws some figures into his stats program.


HAY GUYS, CLOTHING MAY CUASE CANCER, EVERYONE STRIP!

I had myself frozen back in the '80s when I was diagnosed with terminal boneitis.

/probably not obscure

smitty is wrong, as others have pointed out. it does not rot MY bones, because i am male.

yay for something besides the ability to pee standing up!

Ditto, Hal5423. This has been known for years. Yawn.

Coming soon:

New! Coke with calcium!

O NOES!
oh wait- it only happens to women
/GLUG

I assumed they were talking about the peruvian flake until i RTFA.

Oh, Coca COLA. Yeah, it sucks. Too much sugar and junk. When i was a kid i drank alot of it. My uncle pulled me aside, and showed me a trick. He made a penny dissapear in a glass of coke. Of course it took a while for the soda to eat away at it, but afterwards my uncle told me something that ill never forget; "See what it did to the penny...Imagine what its doing to your body. Quit drinking that shiat ya little farker."

i know it's cartilage - but the noses of advanced snorters

Good thing I drink Pepsi.

NobleHam: Correlation =/= causation.

Saying: Correlation =/= causation : =/= proving the article/study wrong.

Arjibuh

Saying "Saying: Correlation =/= causation : =/= proving the article/study wrong": =/= proving the article/study right.

zekebullseye: It's not good in a plastic bottle.

It's best out of a glass bottle. Root beer is to die for out of a glass bottle.

it also rots your teeth.

I'm not going to google it and I'm not a dentist but the carbonation in soft drinks (and I assume beer too) weakens the enamel on your teeth so if you drink a couple cans of soda and then brush your teeth, you're actually brushing the enamel off your teeth, and it leads to of course tooth decay and cavities.

Anyway, I used to drink soda all the time but now it's just wasted calories and everyone's metabolism slows when they reach about 25 so it was nice while it lasted, but now I drink non-carbonated stuff (except for beer).

Ok, i'm off to bed. Don't brush your teeth within a half-hour after drinking carbonated beverages. And google that because I'm sure you'll find the story I was talking about.

Oh yeah, there's also studies being done to find out exactly why sucrose has a tendency to deposit fat in the mid-region of your body.

True.

Unavailable for comment

I'm curious about the hip sites they mentioned. What could be more hip than fark.com? Maybe it does rot your brain like huffing MEK but I don't see it causing... what? Oh. Hip sites- as in sides of what you sit on. Never mind.

While previous studies suggested cola consumption may be linked to poor bone health because it replaces milk in the diet, Tucker's study found that women who drink pop did not consume less milk than those who drink fewer colas.

But calcium intake from all sources, including non-dairy sources such as dark, leafy greens and beans, was lower among women who drank the most cola.

So, what, the cola caused them to eat less calcium-rich foods, and therefore lose bone mass?

Fark the fact that these women have poor dietary taste! It's all Coke's fault!

zekebullseye: I'm farked then since that's my ambrosia and I can't quit. It has to be a in a can, chilled. If it's from a 2 Liter bottle, it doesn't taste the same. Too flat. It's... blah blah blah

Holy fark, I think that was one of the most disgusting things I've ever read.

whew I was afraid it was refering to cocaine, that's a relief.

Unavailable for comment:

the carbonation in soft drinks (and I assume beer too) weakens the enamel on your teeth so if you drink a couple cans of soda and then brush your teeth, you're actually brushing the enamel off your teeth, and it leads to of course tooth decay and cavities

It works like this: Soda contains sugar => The sugar is devoured by bacteria => The bacteria excrete acid => The acid rots your teeth

(Actually, the bacteria devour *any* carbohydrates. But they always excrete acid.)

I don't know where you got that crap about carbonation. No dentist has ever told me anything about that.

I can pretty much confirm the findings. My doctor sited this as a major contributing factor for why my bones were weak enough to shatter my hip in three places from a mere three foot fall onto a carpeted floor, despite the fact I'm not even in my 30's yet.

I've been placed on a huge regiment of calcium and vitamin D suppliments ever since.

And here I was worried about my teeth all this time...

Predalien

Don't think milk will help. The Vitamin D overdose actually interferes with calcium absorption - not to mention the hormones that are fat soluble.

source?

Pssh. Different coke, different bones, different gender.

Crisis averted. Everything is super.

If any of you cola drinking women need an extra bone....

All you Coke dealers out there:

1. Cut Coke with calcium carbonate
2. Make health claims (not verified by FDA disclosure)
3. Profit

This is not good news for me. I have a caffiene addiction in that for many years I have needed to drink two cups of coffee in morning. It's gotten a bit better and now on work days sometimes I drink my cup of coffee at home and a can of Pepsi when I get to work (I have flexible hours and sometimes get in after the coffee truck closes for the morning so I pick up a Pepsi from the lunch trucks.) Pepsi has less caffiene and I've been pleased that I can function on the Pepsi sometimes rather than the second cup on coffee. Also when I'm up late doing long written reports for my job, I'll drink more Cola to keep me going. I do drink a cup of soy milk daily, take calcium supplements, and use 1% milk in my coffee and cereals so I am getting adequate calcium. However, the article said that whether or not you get enough calcium is not a factor -- drinking excess cola appears to lead to osteoporosis. The other bummer about cola is that nowadays it is make with corn syrup fructose rather than sugar which appears to result in weight gain (which I have experienced). Got to cut back a bit on the colas I guess...

Back when I went to community college I took a biology course that ended with a class presentation. One of the members of my group acted unilaterally and decided that out presentation would be on the health risks of soda. It turned out to be a huge mistake, as there wasn't much about it beyond having way too much sugar that made it specifically harmful. The calcium-phosphorus ratio was one of the only things we could find actual studies on, but even those were quick to say that there was nothing conclusive.

Basically we ended up going with pseudoscientific fear mongering from sources with phobias of all foods processed; we made up for it by having a very slick poster to go along with it, something that looked like it was made by capable students. Academia was not served that day in Biology 102. Still got a good grade.

subby, you're preaching to the wrong crowd here. the article said "Drinking cola may increase risk to women's bones"

this is fark after all

Soooooooo...we can still have the hookers, just not blow. Well .500 is kick ass in Baseball...

I only drink four types of drinks: water, coffee, milk and alcoholic.

eldie: you are a wild one! A Coffee AND a Pepsi? Woo

"Unavailable for comment"

Obligatory?
/Thanks, ImageShack.

Great.

Thanks to scientific studies, smoking is bad for you, drinking is bad for you, drugs are bad for you, the air is bad for you, the tapwater is bad for you.

Now they're going after soda pop? OH HELL NO!

Just goes to show that Jack and Coke is a man's drink.

/nuff said

What's funny is the PSA on the radio that says this is a myth.

A study of 2,500 people concluded that drinking the carbonated beverages was linked with low bone mineral density

/ANY carbonated beverage

Well, it got my attention as I drink the equivalent of 50 diet cokes a week. There was some other research that said aspartame (sp ?) causes cancer but only if you drank 14 cans a day, which, on occasion, I do.

/jonnoj77 = the new Max Bialystock ?

Cola/Pop/Soda is for wimps. Coke is for real men.

Wasn't this issued a while back, except it was aimed at the amount of soda kids were drinking? Kids drinking too much - "softer" bones + heavier kids = more broken bones or something.

/no soft drinks at home
//kids hates coke except if she's at the movies

regular/diet coke sucks

diet pepsi rules!

diet dr pepper owns all

and diet mountain dew is the best diet soda ever

I read the headline, took a swig of my Coke and scrolled on by. Hmm.

My dad drank a lot of cola and had osteoperosis at the age of 65. He had a spontaneous lumbar fracture (read: he suddenly broke his back) which put him in a hospital, where he developed an antibiotic resistant MSRI. He died of a heart attack five months later.

/drinking more water these days
//has milk over cereal every day
///Drinks on average one soda every other week, if that
////Singlehandedly finished off an entire case of Jones' Soda over the course of two months.

never saw the point of mindlessly ingesting:
sugar
high fructose corn syrup sugar
colorings
phosphoric acid
caffeine
citric acid
natural flavors (for which no other informations are given)

or any combination of:
cyclamates
saccharins
aspartame
sucralose

Cake made me vomit up my pelvis.

Oh man, subby had me scared for a second

Good thing I drink Pepsi!

Oh, damn you primate1

I gave it up just a couple of months ago. I am someone who loves to drink beverages.. i'd say the majority of my calories came from some sort of drink so it was and still is pretty hard for me.. There has been a few times where I have got coke (fast food combos, which is maybe twice a month)

but if I am buying somehting to drink from the store, it will be bottled water or at the most juice.

Dear CBC of Canada:

IT'S FREAKING SODA, NOT "POP"!!!

TY

I thought that the more coke in a woman‘s system the more bones they get?

next up on the research docket: will staying up longer make you more tired? ill need 500,000 dollars and three RAs.

leave them at the door, thank you

Duh...

Just drink a coca cola, don't brush your teeth and wake up the next day....

Your teeth will feel hollow and weak, as if it would break if you bit into something a little too hard.

/unavailable for comment

seen what it does to teeth?