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(Some Guy)   Guy commits suicide because he couldn't lose his virginity by age 19, marking the last person on earth who didn't know about hookers   (mirror.co.uk ) divider line
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23870 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Oct 2006 at 5:23 PM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



431 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2006-10-04 03:41:42 PM  
I think the poor guy had more issues than just not getting laid...

...but ladies, just keep this story in mind the next time you turn someone down for a pity fark.
 
2006-10-04 03:45:41 PM  
Paul and I went for a walk, but when we came back 20 minutes later, Joe was dead."

20 minutes? Pretty quick Fark. I mean walk....
 
2006-10-04 03:49:01 PM  
I wanted to say something snarky, but, geeze, TFA is paints a pretty depressing picture.

Although the girl did offer him a three-way. Couldn't have wanted to lose it that bad if he's being picky.
 
2006-10-04 03:52:24 PM  
Darwin definitely wins on this one.

I'm not getting laid either, and I'm married. If I kill someone over not getting laid, it won't be myself.
 
2006-10-04 03:53:30 PM  
I was then that the girl noticed that he was in fact very well hung hanged.

So sad I have to joke. Serially.
 
2006-10-04 03:53:51 PM  
Mr Guy: I'm not getting laid either, and I'm married. If I kill someone over not getting laid, it won't be myself.

Forget I said that, what I meant was, I'll totally kill myself if I don't get some BIE from hot TFettes today. And you gals know who you are, you're on my wall.
 
2006-10-04 04:01:33 PM  
jackrazz

Actually it says "he" said they should have a threesome, and then the girl stated that it "wasn't like him at all."

I don't think she wanted to hit it any more than any of the other chicks, apparently.
 
2006-10-04 04:10:55 PM  
Maybe he followed through on the ol' "I'll kill myself if you don't sleep with me" routine I know you've all done..
 
2006-10-04 04:48:58 PM  
submitter: marking the last person on earth who didn't know about hookers

I'm sure that it wasn't the lack of sex itself that made him do it, it was that lack of girls wanting to have sex with him. Paying for sex wouldn't have changed the fact that he could get it willingly...
 
2006-10-04 05:00:43 PM  
i'm 20 and still a virgin. who cares?
 
2006-10-04 05:14:12 PM  
What was his Fark handle?
 
2006-10-04 05:17:30 PM  
Auto-Darwin?
 
2006-10-04 05:18:09 PM  
If he'd just waited a bit longer. I once thought as he did. But then I lost my virginity.

And have had plenty of sex since then.

Mmmmm.....sex....
 
2006-10-04 05:24:13 PM  
From TFA:

[His mom] told Medway coroner's court: "He'd kissed a 15-year-old girl and I'd seen love bites on his neck. He hoped to sleep with her on the night he killed himself, but she let him down."


He told his mother that he was going to after illegal lovin,' and mom's reaction is that the child "let him down?" Methinks the family situation might have been less than ideal.
 
2006-10-04 05:25:36 PM  
just think, if he had strapped a bomb to himself and slaughtered a bunch of little kids in the name of allah, he would have be given 72 virgins.
 
2006-10-04 05:25:47 PM  
ummm.... I didn't lose mine till I was 21

and I didn't off myself
 
2006-10-04 05:27:16 PM  
Shoulda IMed Foley.
 
2006-10-04 05:27:26 PM  
He did his part to enrich the gene pool, that's for sure.
 
2006-10-04 05:27:28 PM  
Masturbation. Maybe not as 'real' as coitus. But, it never tells you no.
 
2006-10-04 05:27:41 PM  
" I cannot say I'm sure he intended to take his own life."

Well, sparky... hanging yourself usually doesn't happen by accident.
 
2006-10-04 05:28:29 PM  
He would have lost his virginity long time ago if he'd only called Mark Foley .
 
2006-10-04 05:28:31 PM  
Damnit women, I want to fark!!
 
2006-10-04 05:28:31 PM  
Educated_Comedian [TotalFark]
He told his mother that he was going to after illegal lovin,' and mom's reaction is that the child "let him down?" Methinks the family situation might have been less than ideal.

Uhh, the dude killed himself, bud. I think saying he was "let down" by the rejection is an understatement. Doesn't say anything about condoning the behavior or the family situation. The guy's dead and this is his mom, what do you want her to say "My 19-year-old son wanted to have sex with a 15-year-old so I'm glad he's dead." ??

Okay.
 
2006-10-04 05:28:44 PM  
Unsurprisingly, I was a virgin until the ripe old age of 20. And, I didn't start enjoying sex until my current girlfriend, who was a virgin.

/Sex isn't a reason to kill yourself.
//Stupidity might be.
///My girl's a freak
////Not really
 
2006-10-04 05:29:01 PM  
Dennis_Moore: Shoulda IMed Foley.

winner
 
2006-10-04 05:29:21 PM  
LOL What a loser turned down from the army! he got flat feet
or a case of teh FAT
 
2006-10-04 05:29:29 PM  
"He'd kissed a 15-year-old girl and I'd seen love bites on his neck. He hoped to sleep with her on the night he killed himself, but she let him down.


She... let him down...?

What a useless farking whore. And I'm talking about the mother.

Now that poor chick is going to feel guilty forever for some stupid sh*t that isn't her fault.

Nice work all around.
 
2006-10-04 05:29:29 PM  
www.angelfire.com
 
2006-10-04 05:29:36 PM  
Wow, that is a sad story. He should have downloaded a cracked copy of 4Play40 from the net and asked the chicks to play that. In about 15 minutes you'll have them just sitting there naked and they go for the whole, "we're already naked so we should just go ahead and do it."
 
2006-10-04 05:29:39 PM  
Tatsuma: What was his Fark handle?

second place
 
2006-10-04 05:30:01 PM  
The mom says the girl let her son down. Way to go Mom! I'm sure this chick is feeling much better now.
 
2006-10-04 05:30:19 PM  
Man, I know people with normal sex lives, in normal relationships, who didn't lose their virginity until their early 20's.

The famous american poet EE Cummings didn't lose his virginity until he was 24, and he later went on to marry TWO supermodels. Or, at least, as close to models as you could get in those days.

I mean, sure, he was a genius, but even so.
 
2006-10-04 05:30:40 PM  
Unavailable for comment.

img.photobucket.com

/posted in another thread as well
//god-damned Firefox and its multiple tabs
///still not drunk
 
2006-10-04 05:31:22 PM  
a true friend would've paid a girl to have sex with him ;)
 
2006-10-04 05:31:32 PM  
I didn't get laid until I was 21.

Then again, I am a loser.
 
2006-10-04 05:31:40 PM  
Darkkeyboard: I didn't start enjoying sex until my current girlfriend, who was a virgin.

I understand it but some of these other farkers may read a litte something into that.
 
2006-10-04 05:31:53 PM  
Hey dude, you are supposed to "rub one out" not "rub yourself out"

/amateurs
 
2006-10-04 05:31:53 PM  
I was actually a late bloomer. First time four months after I turned 19. I've made up for it, though.
 
2006-10-04 05:32:15 PM  
Bah, im pretty randy myself. How long does a period last again? Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday.......Bah!
 
2006-10-04 05:33:20 PM  
He was rejected by the army?
At this point they are taking criminals and old geezers, WTF was wrong with him?

/Lost it at 17
//Still with same girl
///it has been a long 7 years
 
2006-10-04 05:33:37 PM  
Maybe he thought it was true that if you don't use it you lose it.
 
2006-10-04 05:33:49 PM  
How empty Fark would be...
 
2006-10-04 05:34:01 PM  
I'll fess up too. I was 19 when I lost mine. But like Howie_Feltersnatch, I've also made up for it.
 
2006-10-04 05:34:11 PM  
I lost my virginity the day the Yankees lost the Penant to the Red Sox. I shall never forget that terrible, humiliating loss.
 
2006-10-04 05:34:13 PM  
I think saying he was "let down" by the rejection is an understatement. Doesn't say anything about condoning the behavior or the family situation.


No, dude, what he's saying is that it's bullsh*t for the mother to say that she, the girl, "let him down", i.e. didn't come through on the whole 'having sex with him' thing.

And it is bullsh*t, but I'll grant you the possibility that the mother maybe would have chosen her words a little better had she not been grieving.

It's typical momma's boy garbage - "Oh, my poor little baby, that nasty little girl went off with someone else instead of farking my son. What a slut."

She's either an idiot or she chose her words poorly. But the emphasis in what she said was on *the girl* (actively) letting him down, not on him feeling let down.
 
2006-10-04 05:34:35 PM  
For you virgins out there, and speaking as a non-virgin, sex is not such a great thing that you should kill yourself rather than stay a virgin. I mean sex is good and everything, but there's more to life than sex.

But then, as Achilles says in the Odyssey, I would rather be a servant in a poor man's house and be alive than king of kings among the dead.
 
2006-10-04 05:34:47 PM  
24 and counting
 
2006-10-04 05:35:13 PM  
FTA"His life-long ambition was to join the Army, but he'd been rejected."
Well, in the end he pretty much got what he wanted anyway...death.
 
2006-10-04 05:35:36 PM  
Oops. I thought this was another Foley thread. Beg pardon.
 
2006-10-04 05:35:46 PM  
Very sad.

/Sadder that this thread has me giggling like a little girl?
//I think I'm now considered a born-again virgin. Should that depress me?
 
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