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(Daily Mail)   IKEA profits plunge as people start buying furniture that doesn't come flat-packed with a goddamn Allen key   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 146
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13629 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Sep 2006 at 5:55 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2006-09-28 03:05:38 PM
I still get misty-eyed at the day I bought my first real bedroom set and kissed particle-board goodbye forever.
 
2006-09-28 03:12:41 PM
I remember 5 years ago, pre-house, thinking IKEA was the shiat. I figured it was good enough that I could furnish myself for the rest of my life from that place. Then I discovered real furniture (and real furniture prices). Much, much better.
 
2006-09-28 03:15:15 PM
The latest reporting period takes in Ikea's disastrous opening of its Edmonton store in north London where reports of shoppers acting like animals and others being hospitalised

i kind of rolled my eyes in britain's general direction when i read this, then i realized this is exactly what happens at those christmas sales at wal-mart here in the states.
 
2006-09-28 03:18:34 PM
IKEA: Selling furinture to college kids and divorced men for years
 
2006-09-28 03:24:49 PM
Dammit, now I've got to listen to that Jonathan Coulton song.

\Buys real wood furniture
\\More expensive
\\\But more durable.
 
2006-09-28 03:25:16 PM
Why do people ahet on IKEA? Some of us (gainfully employed) people dont have $5000 to spend on a kitchen table.

Just dont buy anything will ball-bearings or hinges.
 
2006-09-28 03:26:19 PM
wow, two typos in one four letter word.
 
2006-09-28 03:26:25 PM
Ikea by Jonathan Coulton

Long ago in days of yore
It all began with a god named Thor
There were Vikings and boats
And some plans for a furniture store
It's not a bodega, it's not a mall
And they sell things for apartments smaller than mine
As if there were apartments smaller than mine

Ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen
Ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced men
Everyone has a home
But if you don't have a home you can buy one there

So rent a car or take the bus
Lay your cash down and put your trust
In the land where the furniture folds to a much smaller size
Billy the bookcase says hello
And so does a table whose name is Ingo
And the chair is a ladder-back birch but his friends call him Karl

Ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen
Ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced men
Everyone has a home
But if you don't have a home you can buy one there

Ikea: plywood, brushed steel
Ikea: meatballs, tasty
Ikea: Allen wrenches
All of them for free
All of them for me

I'm sorry I said Ikea sucks
I just bought a table for 60 bucks
And a chair and a lamp
And a shelf and some candles for you
I was a doubter just like you
Till I saw the American dream come true
In New Jersey, they got a goddamned Swedish parade

Ikea: just some oak and some pine and a handful of Norsemen
Ikea: selling furniture for college kids and divorced men
Everyone has a home
But if you don't have a home you can buy one there
 
2006-09-28 03:44:24 PM
You have to love people who sell a computer table named JERKER.
 
2006-09-28 04:15:05 PM
I just made my first Ikea purchase a couple months ago. I picked up two storage cabinets with hinged doors. I was really surprised by how well-made and easy to assemble they were.

Sure, it's not "real" furniture, but it's way, way sturdier than the Sauder, Bush or O'Sullivan stuff I've gotten from Target or Office Max.

I'm an Ikea fan now.
 
2006-09-28 05:01:07 PM
BizarreRecords
wow, two typos in one four letter word.

Yeah, but you redeemed yourself by making me laugh.
 
2006-09-28 05:46:34 PM
BizarreRecords
In my head, how i pictured you discovering your typo is damn hilarious.
thanks.
 
2006-09-28 05:59:45 PM
IKEA:

The cheap stuff ain't good and the good stuff ain't cheap.
 
2006-09-28 06:00:02 PM
I tried to help this chick put together a bed she bought at IKEA.

Long story short, we ended up doing it on the ground.

thank you, IKEA.
 
2006-09-28 06:01:45 PM
hey gimmeafarkinname, how have you not been banninated with that screen name?

Oh, and I am currently sitting on an ikea futon, and i have an ikea desk, and an ikea tv stand. The desk is okay, the tv stand is awesome, and the futon is pretty good.

yes, i'm in college.
 
2006-09-28 06:02:27 PM
I don't understand the IKEA haters either.

Do you think dropping 30 grand to furnish your living room is a good investment?
 
2006-09-28 06:02:29 PM
I don't care what you guys say. My computer desk is the shiat. It's just overpriced the shiat.
 
2006-09-28 06:03:16 PM
Blaud: I tried to help this chick put together a bed she bought at IKEA.

Long story short, we ended up doing it on the ground.

thank you, IKEA.



You should totally be in an IKEA commercial.
 
2006-09-28 06:03:40 PM
I own 2 jerkers. Love em, and work at home.
 
2006-09-28 06:04:31 PM
If there was a place I could get cheap furniture that someone probably didn't die in around here I'd be all over it.

/in college
//apartment consists of a bean bag chair, a mattress, a TV, and a box I keep clothes in as well as use as a table.
 
2006-09-28 06:06:08 PM
Enjoy your affordable Swedish crap.
 
2006-09-28 06:06:46 PM
sigdiamond2000
Do you think dropping 30 grand to furnish your living room is a good investment?


Your hyperboyle aside, absofrickenlutely.
 
2006-09-28 06:07:04 PM
I like to use the name of IKEA products for the names of barbarians in my D&D game.

LEKSVIK uses his two handed axe and splits your head open.
 
2006-09-28 06:07:29 PM
Here is a hint: Buy USED furniture...WAY cheaper...
 
2006-09-28 06:07:58 PM
Ikea is fine for cheap furniture but it sucks ass if you need to move a lot. The particle material can only handle the screws 2-3 times max then it starts to crumble. By the fourth reassembly something like a tall book case will end up
slanting and shelves will collapse under book weight.
 
2006-09-28 06:08:11 PM
I like IKEA. It's cheap furniture, it's easy to haul half way across the country, and it provides me a few minutes of entertainment as I put the stuff together without instructions.

Of course, all of MY furniture is hand built and could survive a nuclear explosion. But I like my roommate's IKEA stuff, it's kinda cute, like doll furniture.

/enjoys building furniture
//has beaten most of the highest rated 3-D puzzles out there for fun
///is building a lawn next
 
2006-09-28 06:08:22 PM
Jeez... what's up with people these days. Has politics polarized us to the point that EVERYTHING must either be fantastic or horrible. Ikea is a great store that serves a big niche wonderfully. I personally no longer have any of their furniture. But for those just getting started or with small apartments or in college or whatever... they're great. You can get a lot of somewhat decent furniture for not all that much money as long as you are cool with it not lasting forever.

they do have SOME nice stuff... but as my friend always says, their cheap stuff ain't good, and their good stuff ain't cheap.

I'm furnishing our new 2nd story now, so far I've mostly used craigslist and the pawn shop and I've gotten some great stuff. I'm kind of past Ikea as I said, but I'm just too cheap to pay retail for furniture.
 
2006-09-28 06:09:15 PM
Estate sales are the best. We got a love seat for the sunroom at one. The sons just wanted all that stuff gone. We got a c.$600 item for 80 bucks. The cat's napping on it now.
 
2006-09-28 06:09:33 PM
Particle Board
by Rob Paravonian

I took a good look at my life
What I saw I didn't like
Cause there was nothing that was built to last
Underneath all the cheap vaneer
There's nothing that can stand the years
It all falls apart so fast

Particle board
All the furniture I own is made of particle board
It's all I can afford particle board
Particle board
Is this what I've been working my whole life for?
Four walls and a door particle board

I have to live my life alone
Cause if I ever bring a woman home
She'll take one look at my place and any chance is blown
I guess that I have to admit
A guy looks like he can't commit
When a hex-wrench can dismantle anything he owns

Particle board
If I ever move I'll leave it here on the floor
To move would cose more than my particle board
Particle board
My life sucks and it can't be ignored
All I can afford is particle board

I try to live my life without things that tie me down
That's why I only buy crap I won't miss if I skip town
But now I see I can't live my life like this forever
I'd like to own some furniture I don't have to put together

I took a good look at my life
What I saw I didn't like
It made me wanna run away and hide
Just one look around my home
Shows that everything I own
Is all leaning to one side

Particle board
All the furniture I own is made of particle board
It's all I can afford particle board
Particle board
My life sucks and it can't be ignored
All I can afford is particle board
Particle board
Is this what I've been working my whole life for?
Four walls and a door particle board
Particle board
All the furniture I own is made of particle board
It's all I can afford particle board
 
2006-09-28 06:09:37 PM
Sir Strongbad: Here is a hint: Buy USED furniture...WAY cheaper...

Amen! And if you score some stuff from the 50's or earlier, you'll be getting quality that costs absurd amounts these days.
 
2006-09-28 06:09:46 PM
Headline was just a touch misleading. The article was only about IKEA's UK profits. I'd say that IKEA overall is still doing alright - and by "doing alright" I mean "taking over the world". And, here's what the article actually said about the profits:

"The Swedish giant said pre-tax profits for the year to last August dived to £104 million. That represents a drastic slide from the previous year when profits leapt to more than £150 million."

To be clear - £104 million = approx. $195 Million Dollars. Sounds like they're struggling to me.
 
2006-09-28 06:10:27 PM
I love IKEA. But...I'm also a stupid 19 year old female. But look at how cute my tv stand is!
 
2006-09-28 06:10:41 PM
FTA: "Research has shown that Ikea's average customer is a 38-year-old female who spends 90 minutes in the store before buying."

Wow, so who is she?
 
2006-09-28 06:10:44 PM
ikea is perfect for my kids room, or the dumpster
 
2006-09-28 06:11:21 PM
Tachikoma

I had a roommate like you once. Was a fricken godsend when I bought a grill.

/hates allen wrenches
 
2006-09-28 06:11:52 PM
I'm sorry, but this is sexiest couch EVAR:
www.ikea.com
 
2006-09-28 06:11:53 PM

I actually like the Ikea mattress and bed (a 'Sultan'-class mattress and a 'Malm' bed) I have; pretty darn comfortable for the ca. 11 months I've had it.


Went to La-Z-Boy for the couch, 'tho -- better combination of comfort and back support than the cheaper options I found elsewhere, without getting into Ethan Allen WTF-class prices.

 
2006-09-28 06:12:52 PM
I like Ikea... i just get tired of everything in either "Chocolate" or natural pine.

Chocolate is something you EAT... it isn't a color
 
2006-09-28 06:13:00 PM
Ikdea has good stuff, my couch is from Ikea and it couldn't be better. My Ikea bed is plenty good enough. And eating at Ikea is just fun.
 
2006-09-28 06:13:33 PM
Ikea is great when you're young and broke. Then again, so are a collection of milk crates.

/you can furnish an entire room with milkcrates as a student
//ok, well you need a mattress or something but otherwise just milkcrate
///they're free
////and better quality than ikea
//slashtastic!
 
2006-09-28 06:14:19 PM
...nicely finished white pine beats teh hell out of veneered particle board from Target...

/got the Futon at Sam's
//it's totally nice
/// innard-spring mattress, instead of a lumpy loaf of lint
////Mom got me a leather Stratolounger recliner
//told her not to
//the cat totally thrashed it :(
 
2006-09-28 06:14:47 PM
For the record I'm talking about the cheap shiat that you actually have to build yourself with a frickin' allen key. They sell real stuff which I'm sure is great but I'm done with ikea I'll probably never find out. The store is too big and crazy for my tastes.
 
2006-09-28 06:14:58 PM

I never liked their furnature... cool lamps though, got 2 of these while in San Diego

www.ikea.com...

then noticed them in the The Narrator's apartment in The Fight Club.

 
2006-09-28 06:15:33 PM
The meatballs are good though.

And I think I'm addicted to Lingonberry.
 
2006-09-28 06:16:59 PM
Sure everyone hates on IKEA, but after our house fire it allowed us to live like real people again quickly. No more sleeping on the floor in an empty apartment. One weekend of shopping and assembling and viola, instant home.

/one day it will all get replaced.
 
2006-09-28 06:18:37 PM
I got my bookcases from Ikea. $30 each for seven footers. Only problem was, they didn't sell extra shelves, and I own a lot of paperbacks. I didn't want to go with plywood (can't draw a straight line, don't own a power saw), and the prices at Home Depot were insane for matching shelves.

Finally, I just bought another bookcase and cannibalized it.

The bedside tables were nice though...15$ each or so on sale, went together in 5 minutes. Everything else, we bought new or from the Salvation Army and re-finished.
 
2006-09-28 06:18:42 PM
Ikea's great when you're young, don't have much money and haven't figured out your furnishing style yet. They've got something to please just about anyone.

But, when you get older, aren't as broke and your tastes are pretty firmly set... better crafted (and much more expensive) furniture will last a lifetime.

I have some furniturephile friends who will gladly plunk down a few thousand dollars for a hand built italian table crafted by a master artisan. Even the welds underneath you can't see are perfectly smoothed down and finished over. To some, its a waste, but to those who really appreciate fine works, its invaluable.
 
2006-09-28 06:19:27 PM
I would not buy used furniture...or, if I did, I'd inspect every farkin' inch of it.
My friends picked up a dresser at a yard sale....solid, old sturdy wood, in good shape....took it home...and they were out of the house for 3 days while the exterminators took care of the entire house because of the gigantic cockroach nest that was hidden behind the drawers.

/*shudder*
 
2006-09-28 06:19:39 PM
The Jerker desk is, all jokes aside, my all-time fave computer desk. Simple, no bullshiat, plenty of legroom, durable, and cheap.

I bought myself two and the company I work for three, and they're by far the most popular desk we have; everyone loves them for the simplicity and huge workspace it affords.
 
2006-09-28 06:19:42 PM
I own 2 jerkers. Love em, and work at home

I almost bought one of those. Cool desk. When it was all said and done and had all the features I wanted though, I found just as good elsewhere for about half the money
 
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