Unavailable for comment.

27 mins? I usually don't start official work until after lunch.

My way of saying "oh you're not gonna pay my expenses are ya? fine!"

hehehe

by mistake?

Jason Biggs and Shannon Doherty unavailable for comment...

27 minutes? My ass. More like 127 minutes.

Try again, "study".

I spend 27 minutes doing non work related web browsing in my first 27 minutes here at work, also in the next 27 minutes, and the 27 after that. I think you can figure out the rest of my shift from the established pattern. I'm posting this from work right now if you need any help.

Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour. I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work

Allow me to be the first to declare SHENANNIGANS.

288 emails is about one a work day (with a reasonable degree of tolerance for error). That means the average worker spends 27 minutes writing an email. I suspect the number of emails sent is far, far greater.

How many have sent a rude email to a supervisor *on purpose?*

/I probably have
//and am tempted to do so again in the future

I have to say I'm guilty of probably all of it. I know that I even sent an email by mistake to my boss, but nothing ever happened. Either she was too stupid to get what I had said or she misunderstood the word "dictator!"

Either way I was lucky to have survived as long as I did, but from then on out I would just insult her to her face.

\hehehehehhe My coworkers thought I was lucky as hell too.
\\hehehehehehe

Supercheeks

Awesome reference. You even got it right too.

Guilty, Your Honor, Guilty

Beware of reply all (including the boss) when you say something like, "How did you get sucked into this Death By Administrivia meeting?"
/took me two years to get over this faux pas
//sucks to be me, eh?

only 27 minutes?? My God, I'm usually on teh interwebs for at LEAST five hours of my 7.5 hour workday!

Most work isn't worth doing. You're selling your life to a boss so you can pay for something that no one had to work to invent, manufacture or deliver.

/ignore this, get on with life, find distractions on tv...

Yeah, I think the old 27 minutes a day thing is probably low.

tomstdenis

27 mins? I usually don't start official work until after lunch.

My way of saying "oh you're not gonna pay my expenses are ya? fine!"

hehehe

I knew a guy a long time ago in a galaxy far^H^H^H^H^ I mean at a company I used to work for who went on a business trip and lost his hat while on the trip. He bought a new hat and put it on his expense report. The report got kicked back, saying the hat wasn't something the company would pay for.

He re-wrote the report with a sticky note that said, "The hat's in there, you find it!"

He may have been blowing smoke up my ass, but it's a funny story either way.

/well, it is to me!

A cowardly one in five Brits confessed to dropping a text to their boss instead of calling in sick. That's not cowardly, that's smart. It avoids all that uncomfortable 'permission' talk, gets to the point and gets it over with. And yes, I spend more time on Fark than I ever should be able to, but I work at the same time, so I think it all kinda balances out. Sorta.

fatassbastard

Except my expenses are things like Hotels, food and the like. I don't put "gold rolex" on their hehehe.

Half the time I don't even bother filing expenses since they never pay anyways and it's just a waste of brain power [having to keep track of it].

I make up for the loss by my complete and total lack of a work ethic.

one in 10 have sent a rude email to a supervisor by mistake

*raises hand*

One in 10 has sent a nude email to a supervisor? I can see 1 in 10 sending a lewd email, but that's just me. I guess all you workers out there have nude pics on your work computers and randomly send them to supervisors.

I guess I'm the only one who works for a company that's actually generous with their money.

/all expenses
//they pay my internet
///and free healthcare
////and an extra 9% of my salary in stock.

LOL...288 emails a year! I do that in a day, easy! Slackers!

//!!!!

As far as I can surmise, my job IS to be on Fark. Because that's all I do, and I get paid for it.

27 minutes? I had a job where I might go days without touching a line of code.

/Software Developer.

27 minutes of work a day sounds about right. Oh wait...

I spend 27 minutes every workday picking my nose and farting...

seconded clawed... totally seconded...

I never do any work in the first HOUR of work, I check emails, send emails, check my bank account balance, pay bills. Maybe 90 minutes in I'll start doing work. 27 minutes of email a day? I'm minimum 2 hours, at the very least! This study is way off!

Oh, and I was gossiping about an employee and accidenatlly sent it to the company owner! The guy actually got fired in 2 weeks b/c he was lazy and incompetent, 2 points I made in the email.

wait... I meant TrimBandit... DAMMIT!

A spot of filth on my monitor covering the "r" in rude led me to click on the thread, thinking it said "nude emails". :(

sent a rude email to a supervisor by mistake

Hell, I do that a couple times every week, on purpose. I don't care, because there's nothing he can do about it except moan like a sick cow. If he actually grows a set of balls and does something that pisses me off, it will take me approximately one hour to find a new job and everyone will be royally screwed when I leave without giving any notice. Gotta love "at will" employment.

/my boss sucks ass

I honestly didn't do a goddamn at work today. Just surfed the internets, and farted around with my coworker. The bonus is, my boss has no idea how long things take to complete so he'll give me a list of stuff to do for the entire week. I can usually complete his list in about a day and a half, then I'll do a little "extra" (haha) to make him think I'm on the ball.

/gets to travel a lot too!

I probably do a grand total of about an hour to two hours of actual work on a given day. Although sometimes I'll work all day for a week straight, but that happens like once every two months.

/still hate my current job.

1 in 10 employees have no farking idea what webmail is and don't know how to not use their work e-mail for personal stuff.

/hey jeff, andrew...what's our mail server again?
//it's mail.enron.con, ken

Some weeks, I spend an average of 63 minutes a day looking for something productive to do. I usually just end up entertaining co-workers who probably have something better to do.

It took less than a minute to pull that statistic out of my ass.

Bookmark under "Self-defence against anti-smoking productivity Nazis"

Frrrp

At my current job, it's about 60% surfing, 40% real work. I work at a call center, and with my shift, we are often not busy. So I check my email and surf Wikipedia and Fark.

Not here. The place where I work made state news for a week after firing 15 folk for pornography on the computer.

Witch hunt.

/Then again, I actually work all day. Which is kinda satisfying.

Today was my third day at my new job. So far, it has gone like this:

Monday--2 hour welcome lunch paid for by the boss
Tuesday--2 hour lunch shopping trip at the mall
Wednesday--2 hour lunch at Costco eating free samples for dessert

I don't know what tomorrow's gonna be like, but apparently the bosses buy pizza every Friday.

Bonus: donuts and bagels sent by the clients twice a week.
Also Bonus: I can wear jeans any day but Monday.

I think I'm gonna like it here.

/MissAnnThrope is proofreading your junk mail. Even though you're gonna throw it away, it'll be error-free.

I send 288 rude messages a year to my Director. On purpose.

cool I'm the one ruining that average! I only spend about 10 minutes checking non-work email, during break. 5 minutes at the begining of the day reading & responding to work email, then about 10 minutes at the end of the day sending out daily reports.

I am a severe internet junkie, but the catch is that I work out in a warehouse where productivity is easier to keep going and my computer can be seen across the room. That keeps screwing off to a minimum. Now that i'm home I'll burn 4-6 hours catching up on Fark and weather updates.

Funkmaster Frank:
At my current job, it's about 60% surfing, 40% real work.

I did a lot of goofing off last week, while covering my supervisor's job. I am aching to get back into the lab this week and actually accomplish something worthwhile. Humping the dog loses its charm after the fifteenth visit to Fark...

I telecommute, so 40% of my work day is farking around online. 40% doing house projects or going on personal errands. 15% is pretending to work. 5% is on actual work.

The irony, of course, is that I learned how to perfect this was in college/school.

Funkmaster Frank

Haha! I surf Wikipedia too! My coworkers make fun of me for it.

/MySpacers, dontcha know.

All Apologies

If you're that guy who keeps coming into my office to talk about his weekend or his kids when he's bored or underemployed, stop it. I've told you before. I have work to do.

As an IT director, I'm finding these posts interesting. You unambitious slackers have insprired me to fire a few of the farkoffs on my team. I know who you are. WebSense dimed you out.

Pfft! I spend 30 min+ on just ONE email first thing in the morning!

/averages about 10 personal emails a day.
//would write more but shares the same cubicle with his boss.